What a third quarter this has been... Following last week's induction of Jennifer Chiappone, Clarence once again amazed his fellow conspirators by inducting Becky Harvey into our Club today, but more on that later.  The meeting started off in the back room at the ol' factory (get the double entendre there?... olfactory... never mind.)  President of the Month Sean Twilla opened the meeting by recognizing the greeter Mike Passof and then the Pledge leader Brud Dufficy and Song leader Gary Spainhower, all of whom performed in exemplary fashion.  Your reporter failed to catch the 'quote of the day', but if he had, it probably would have been best said by Dorothy Parker, who once opined, "Brevity is the soul of lingerie."
The back room?  Again?
Guests?  Yep, we had a few.  Beside our guest speaker and about to be newest member, we were graced with the presence of Paul Schweiger from Central Valley Community Bank (yes, the same bank as Jennifer's... perhaps we're about to be overrun) and Philip Duncan, Becky Harvey's sweetheart, who was in attendance for the induction.
President of the Month Sean with his wrist...
  In any event, the meeting began with some pleasant conversation and was only rudely interrupted when the Prez Pro Tem got up and started spouting announcements at will.  Here's a couple of 'em.
     1.  Most important announcement: the Club Speech Contest is going to be tomorrow afternoon at Cordova High.  Speechifying starts at 3:30, so get there early.  The location is Room D-11 and if you've been chosen to be a judge, a teller, a runner or timer, be sure to be ready to go not later than 3:15 P.M. for instructions
     2. March 31 - Easter Egg Hunt in Hagan Park.  This is fun and all we have to do is throw eggs all over the place.  Put it on your calendar.  We normally start working about 8:30 A.M., but details will be forthcoming.
     3. April 7 - District Leadership Assembly at Inderkum High School in Natomas - this is key for next year's officers and recommended for those who have never gone but want to get engaged in any of Rotary's myriad activities
     4. April 28 - Rotarians at Work Day... this year, as last, we're handing out water on the bike trail for the Parkway Half Marathon.  More details will be forthcoming, likely from Ross Johnson
     5. May 5 - Rancho Cordova Golf Classic at Woodcreek Golf Club.  If you don't/won't/can't golf, consider helping us out at the Rotary Club booth at the event
     6. May 11 - District Conference at the Hyatt North Lake Tahoe.  This is one of the best venues we have for the conference and we should all plan on going.  It's fun, picturesque and the air is thin...
There may have been more, but your poor reporter's ink ran out at about the same time as his enthusiasm.
The big hitters sit at the front table..
The B List celebs sit behind them...
The treasurer sits with the leper colony at the back...
About this time, the Prez called for the weekly drawing and although your reporter did not hear the amount at stake, he estimates it to be a lot, and that's just an estimate.  When the ticket was drawn, it turned out to be Navin who got the nod to stick his hand in the coffee pot.  Sadly for Navin and his family, he scored but a lonely white golf ball for his effort.  We all feel your pain, Navin... well a few of us do... one or two... at most...  Welcome back, my friend.
On the verge of taking up a new sport, Navin thinks, "Now I just need to buy some clubs..."
Suddenly it was time for one of the more painful, awkward moments our Club hands us from time to time: it was Sergeant Clarence Time and he did not disappoint.  Aided by baglady Jennifer Chiappone, the Sarge first attacked former Rancho Cordovan of the Year Ross Johnson for dissing the Sarge (can you believe it?)  Next Mike Passof was targeted for not having a Rotary pin on yesterday in the presence of two other Club members, who remained nameless (I think it's time for the ol' waterboard trick...) and then Ross got hit again for having the wrong badge on...  Lates, you ask?  We had a few: new member Jennifer Chiappone was in good company since Pat Orelli and Ray Wyatt were also tardy.  About this time your poor reporter fessed up to forgetting to pay off a bet to Jerry Smuts after his Indiana Hoosiers beat the Fighting Illini in a basketball game and paid off the $5 bet,with an additional $1 interest, but Jerry magnanimously pitched the entire purse into the basket.  President Sean chipped in at his pride at being Club President for the second time (some pundits wonder if he'll get it right this time...) and in a surprise move, almost-new member Becky Harvey threw in a few drachmas in celebrating her upcoming induction into the Club and then, quick as a wink (or an F-22 going downhill in full afterburner) the hemorrhaging came to an end.
Merlin approves as Clarence inducts Becky
In what seems to becoming a habit, Sergeant Clarence remained on his feet and invited Becky Harvey and Dr. Merlin Mauk and President Sean to the front of the room, where he inducted Becky as our (and the world's) newest member.  Clarence gave a nice resume of Becky's career culminating as a realtor at Lyon Real Estate and neighbor of Merlin's (why does Merlin get to have all the cool neighbors?), and invited her to say a few words, at which point she graciously thanked the Club members for the invitation to join and everyone promptly sat down.  Nicely done.  Welcome, Becky.
No sooner was the induction concluded than Ross Johnson was asked to step up and introduce our guest speaker, Eva Butler, a scientist representing Splash,  a volunteer organization dedicated to the maintenance and restoration of the vernal pools out at Mather Recreation Area, as well as enhancing the educational opportunities for local school kids to come out into nature and observe the wild life and take lessons from the experience.
Guest speaker Eva Butler from Splash
  Alluding to the uphill battles that Splash has been engaged in, it is testimony to the tenacity of the group that they have been making headway to the extent that their field trip schedule is booked up to capacity.  A very interesting presentation on a subject of which I suspect few of us were aware.
Eva on the verge of almost getting the book...
  At the end, after some fumbling, Eva got the book and the room cleared as if the Jolly Green Giant has just showed up and declared that he wasn't a vegetarian anymore.    Good meeting.
Two Weeks in a Row? Are You Kidding Me? John Chapman 2018-03-06 08:00:00Z 0
We needed one of those Federal Census workers today: we had scads of members, guests, visitors and even a few wild dogs (and you know who you are...)  Packed house, good food, better conversation... isn't that why you joined?  In any event, 'twas President Brud's swan song as President of the Month for February and your poor reporter believes it was a pretty good month, crab feed and all.  Today's meeting got off to a good start with Neil Orchard greeting, Neil Orchard leading the pledge and songmaster Gary Spainhower doing his usual vibrant job of leading us in song.  The quote of the week was from Mark Twain, who, had he thought about it, would probably have opined, "Whoever said diamonds are a girl's best friend... never owned a dog."
The room populates
"Just sign here.... everything will be fine..."
Merlin's guest, Becky Harvey
At this point came the customary introductions and we had a bunch: introduced for the last time as a visiting Rotarian, Jennifer Chiappone was outed by PDG Clarence Parkins; Lorianne Ulm, Community Engagement Manager for Rancho was introduced by Ross Johnson; Becky Harvey was shown off by Merlin Mauk; Mason Beasley, the outreach manager for Somerset Assisted Living and a Lincoln Rotarian, was introduced by Treasurer Tracy as well as visitor Ryan Golze, the Grand Exalted High Poobah for Somerset. 
Rotarian-in-waiting Jennifer Chiappone with her sponsor
Good crowd and the visitors brought the overall quality of the room up by more than a notch.
The President prepares a few last-minute pardons his last day in office...
Next thing you know, everyone was gobbling down some swell soup and fresh bread.  Naturally it wasn't long before President Brud interrupted what was a pleasant interlude by rattling off some announcements.  Here's a couple:
1. According to Treasurer Tracy it looks like we made about $15 grand at the crab feed.  Final tally due out before long.
2, Speech contest - temporarily on hold while we sort out the contestant issue.
3. Texas Hold 'Em - we're looking for a trail boss.... see Brud and bring a pardner with ya
"Hey... nice welding goggles..."
4. Charter Night - final date will be released shortly
5. Easter Egg Hunt at Hagan Park - we'll be hiding eggs the Saturday morning before Easter.  Mark your calendar.
6. The Rancho Cordova Golf Classic is on May 5 and we are participants, so dust off your clubs or your excuses
7. District Conference is May 15 - 18 at Hyatt North Shore.  This is a hoot set in a gorgeous setting... you must go...
There was probably more, but Clark Kent dropped his pencil and missed it.  
At this point we got to enjoy one of those most pleasant events that have been populating our year.  PDG Clarence got up and asked Jennifer Chiappone to come to the front of the room and he performed Jennifer's induction into the Club.  When he finished bloviating, Jennifer gave us some of her background and then in a new twist, Clarence asked each member to come up and congratulate her, which seemed like a good idea worth repeating in the future.  Welcome Jennifer...smiley
The induction of Jennifer Chiappone
The weekly golf ball drawing was next and Treasurer Tracy asked lame duck President Brud to pick the lucky ticket, which turned out to be Clarence's.  Representing his cartel, Clarence made a good effort but came up with a crappy looking white ball and so the $149 purse went a-wanting for yet another week.  Dang...
Pat consults on a client's tax return...
With that, it was time for the Sarge and this time Sergeant Sean rose to the occasion and opened with the standard pin and badge infraction question.  Oddly it was Pat Orelli who fessed to being pinless during the week.  Following Pat, Ross Johnson pitched in for the fine Olympics we all recently enjoyed.  Bob Adam then noted that he had just gotten a new roof on his place just a day before last week's sudden rain, so he paid. 
Can we dust his head?  The glare makes my eyes hurt...
When Gary Spainhower paid for missing the volunteer 'event' at the Carmichael Crab Feed, it reminded several back-biting Rotarians that they had missed seeing your poor editor at the same event, so naturally he paid.  Mike Passof got the nod for missing our own crab feed and then Tom Blinn fessed up to some issue with the silent auction and, quick as a wink, the bloodletting was over.
The Folded Arms Society isn't going to take it anymore...
Before anyone could adjust their shorts, Ross MacCarty got up to warn everyone that federal pressure on lenders, just passed in Washington, DC, was going to result in rising interest rates and so now might be a good time to refi, if you've been putting it off.  That's your economics lesson for the day.
Just getting into our meeting ain't easy...
As the introduction of our guest speaker was gathering steam, someone suggested that he pay for the privilege, so Walt Little from the Cordova Food Locker got up and gave us a gander at the $1500 check presented to the Food Locker that enabled it to purchase a badly needed refrigerator at a big markdown.  It was indeed a big check, estimated to be at least 24 by 48 inches and only a few of us could have accommodated it in our wallets, let alone presented it to our bank without laughing.... Just sayin'...
The most magnificent cheque...
With that little bit of business out of the way, it was time for Ross Johnson to formally introduce Walt, who is a long-time friend of our Club and previous speaker.  Walt went into the history of the Food Locker and congratulated the Club on it partnership in support of the food program.  He talked about the two main challenges the Locker faces every year: $ and people.  He noted that they recently passed the 6 million mark in meals delivered to needy residents, a number which surprised a number of folks in the room.
Walt waxes eloquently on the Food Locker
  He noted under intense questioning that the Locker hands out meals and food at Thanksgiving and Christmas to approximately 1200 to 1500 people per day, which results in 5000 to 6000 Cordovans getting nutrition assistance during the holidays.  I hope we all feel blessed and thankful for the opportunity to serve our needy brethren in  the community and proud of the effort the Rotary Club has rendered in support.
The big payoff
  Nevertheless, as all good things come to an end, it was President Brud's final act to thank Walt with the book and the room cleared as if the Titanic had just anchored in the parking lot.  Good meeting and good job, President Brud
The Crab Feed.... It's Over? John Chapman 2018-02-27 08:00:00Z 0
I hope you remembered we were scheduled to be dark today, following the Crab Feed, yes?  What a great Crab Feed it was... here are some pics...
The big picture
A very busy Treasurer Tracy
Lots of friends yakkin'...
Sommelier Neil checks the wine as Steve Forseth checks his tax return to see if he can afford to bid...
Some nice silent auction tables
PP Sean bloviating...
The doctor is in...

REMINDER: Carmichael Crab Feed is this Saturday night for you volunteers
You Knew We Were Dark Today, Right? John Chapman 2018-02-20 08:00:00Z 0
No meeting this week, so just some pics from the Crab Feed.  I hope y'all had fun; I did...
The big picture
A very busy Tracy McLinn
A whole lotta talkin' goin' on...
Neil manages the wine as Steve Forseth checks his tax return...
Good lookin' auction tables...
PP Sean muses...
Chase waxes enthusiastic...
Don't forget: we're dark this week...laugh
No, You Didn't Miss a Meeting chapman 2018-02-19 08:00:00Z 0
What an interesting day, just when you thought it was safe to go back into your tax refund...  Well sir, it started off like many before it: President of the Month Brud Dufficy led off by asking young Jerry Smuts to lead the Pledge, a task to which Jerry takes like snot to kleenex.  Following Jerry was none other than perennial favorite songleader Gary Spainhower leading us in God Bless.  The Prez then rattled off a quote by Mark Twain who once told the story about the Mother Superior who gathered all of the  nuns in the convent together and declared, "Sisters, it appears we have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."  To which one of the younger nuns muttered, "Thank God, I was getting sick of that Chardonnay!"
The Powerhitters table...
At this point, President Brud asked if we had any visitors and we had a bunch:  First PDG Clarence introduced Jennifer Chiappone, the new branch manager for Community Bank on south Sunrise and then mentioned former Rancho  Rotarian Bob Mutchler, now from the Folsom Club, who brought her.  Next Merlin Mauk introduced his guest, Becky Harvey, a realtor with Lyon Real Estate, who is a neighbor of Merlin's.  At this point we wasted no time  in sitting down to chew on some tasty victuals.  
Bob Mutchler and a profile of Jennifer Chiappone
Becky Harvey with a lucky Merlin Mauk
All good things come to an end and it was the advent of the weekly announcements that brought all that pleasant conversation screeching to a halt.  Here's a couple, just to whet your appetite:
     1. Crab Feed: this Saturday!  Be sure you have your task in hand so that we have another successful fund raiser.
     2. Next Tuesday, we're dark!
     3. Next Saturday a bunch of us are working the Carmichael Crab Feed; you know who you are.
     4. The Club Speech Contest has been moved up to March 6: we will need judges, calculators, runners, etc to man the event, so be sure to come
     5. Easter Egg Hunt in Hagan Park is the day before Easter; this is a fun thing; you should come out for it
     6. May 5 is the annual Rancho Cordova Golf Classic, run by Julie Belka and we're going to have a booth and we need golfers for the event as well
Spaghetti Factory is now letting us eat up front with the big kids...
There was probably more, but I ran out of ink and interest at about the same time.  Next, of course, was the weekly drawing, this time for the princely sum of $140.  CarolAnn Forseth pulled Merlin's number from the basket and you can see from the picture below just how well Merlin fared going for the orange ball.  Hard cheese, my friend.
Mo is totally impressed with Merlin's white ball...
PP Sean was our Sergeant and he was aided by Neil Orchard as his bagman.  First a few happy fines drifted in, followed by an inquisition as to who had brought and not brought wine for the Crab Feed: the Sarge and Ray Wyatt both got nicked.   Merlin then paid for the fine white golf ball he had extracted from the pot and suddenly the Sarge made a sharp turn into trivia, asking various movie and sports-related questions.  Bob McBee flubbed the movie question and your poor correspondent got the sports question correct.  Steve Forseth missed the Supreme Court question (I thought it was Diana Ross) and Bob Adam blew the Senate question: all paid.
I believe this is referred to as a "tete a tete"  (throw in a coupla umlauts if you like)
Our speaker today was Dr. Chase Armer ("Doctor, it hurts when I deduct this!"  "Well, don't deduct it!")  who gave a very insightful presentation on the new tax law just passed last month.  The upshot seemed to be that if you're in the right spot in terms of how your income is reported, you're in good shape and if not, well, it's been nice knowin' ya.  Chase gave us some tips on how to legally avoid overpaying taxes, including making charitable gifts out of IRA distributions and timing your property taxes so as to maximize their tax offset.  All in all a very interesting presentation, which resulted in quite a few questions at the end, as you might imagine.
Chase rains on everyone's parade...
Once done, Chase got the book and Rotarians scattered as if they'd missed a car payment.  Good meeting.

Two people are hereby published for the purpose of joining our Club:  First, our visitor today, Becky Harvey, from Lyon Real Estate, proposed by Merlin Mauk.  Second, Becky's significant other, Phil Duncan, a mortgage broker with Vitek Mortgage, also sponsored by Merlin.  Members have 10 days to enter an objection with the Club Secretary, or else the invitation to fireside will be made.
Clarence's/Bob Mutchler's guest, Jennifer Chiappone, does not require the 10-day objection period since she is a current member in good standing in the Folsom Rotary, and will simply be transferring her membership to our Club, but she will be getting a mini-fireside later this week and we anticipate that if things go well, we will induct her at the next meeting after the Crab Feed. 
It's Crab Feed Season... John Chapman 2018-02-13 08:00:00Z 0
Well, sir, we may have set a new world record: today was the first meeting of the third Rancho Rotarian to serve two terms as President of the Club.  'Twas Brud Dufficy (who was last president back in 1923,I believe) who did a fine job of leading the pack of wild dogs that has become our Rotary Club.  Aided by Chase Armer leading the Pledge and Mr Chicago Bears on the song, the meeting got off to a rousing start.  The quote for the day was from Will Rogers, but your poor reporter couldn't hear it in the back,so here's one from our favorite British wartime Prime Minister: "Diplomacy is the art of telling people to go to hell in such a way that they ask for directions."
President Brud sitting with the Club's power brokers...
Guests?  We had a slew:  Our favorite City Council member Linda Budge came today, as well as Ken Press, guest of Ross Johnson's (more on Ken in a minute) and at our table, Marvelene Weier brought her daughter Heather to lunch.
Marvelene and daughter Heather
  Heather is a nurse in the burn unit at the Med Center downtown, and claimed that she didn't know anyone in the room, save her mom.  
Council member and honorary member Linda Budge
       Ken Press, American River Parkway Foundation
In any event, we all began pigging out on some fine Eyetalian victuals and before long it became time for the weekly ritual: announcements.  Here's a couple:
     1. Ross Johnson gave everyone a page detailing the upcoming Crab Feed that can be copied and handed out to prospective crabby people.
     2. Charter Night has been delayed until March; the new date is not in concrete yet.
      3. Paul Schubert reminded us of our commitment to help out at the Carmichael Crab Feed the week after ours.
      4. We're looking for a Texas Hold 'Em chairperson to partner up with Community Council for a spring time frame poker tournament.  See Paul if you can take on this important job.
Ray enjoying lunch with all of his friends
      5. District Conference: May 13 - 15 at Northshore Lake Tahoe
      6. Just when it looked like the announcing derby was over, last week's Sarge stepped up and presented the Super Bowl Pool winnings to Sharon Ewing ($15 for the score at the half), and Pat Orelli ($25 for the final score).  Sadly for Steve Forseth, he was not in attendance to collect his $5 for the 3rd quarter score and as we all know, you gotta be present to win (although fairness dictates that we at least give Steve an "Aw shucks, tough loss, mister..."
      7. Paul Schubert is looking for a good man or woman to head up the wine bar concession at the State Fair.
And that, as they say, was that.  Next up was the traditional weekly drawing and this time guest speaker Joe Scheimer drew Dr. Bob Adam's number from the can, and for the $127 prize, Bob strove mightily to remove the correct ball (as doctors are wont to do) and failed spectacularly, garnering a small, sad white sphere of indeterminate origin.  Tough luck, Robert, you'll do better next time.
Vince Lombardi once said, "Show me a good loser and I'll show you a loser."
Next to the front of the room was Ross Johnson, who introduced his guest, Ken Press, who many will remember was the person who engaged us last year in providing water cups to the runners in last year's Parkway Half Marathon.  Ken was here to present the Club with a formal thank you for our effort and recruit us again for this year's event.  In addition, Ken's organization is donating $10,000 toward the installation of a water fountain in Hagan Park, where we, in the likely guise of the Club Foundation, will throw in the remaining $3000 to complete this public service project.   
Ken talks as Ross catches 40 winks
Since we found ourselves short of time for our guest speaker, President Brud asked Sergeant Ross Johnson to snap it up and so everyone just dug down into their wallets and threw a few bucks toward bagman Ray Wyatt and it was guest speaker time.  (Potentially world record #2: fastest Sarge's session in recorded memory)  Introduced by President Brud. former Rancho Rotarian Joe Scheimer gave us the benefit of his insight into the Viet Nam War.  He described his job flying light planes in Cambodia in support of the effort to remove the threat of the North Vietnamese in that region.
Guest speaker Joe Scheimer
  Joe gave an insightful history of the conflict, his study having reached the conclusion that politics got in the way of effective warfighting.  Well presented and at the end he got the customary book and the room cleared as if the Hawaiian Civil Defense guy had just arrived with his own microphone.

UPDATE: Subsequent to the meeting, your editor has learned that Larry Potter, who was scheduled for a fireside chat at Clarence's, has withdrawn from pursuing membership due to loss of employment at Somerset Assisted Living here in Rancho Cordova.  Living in Lodi as he does, presents logistical problems for him if he were to continue.  We wish him the best of luck.
Well, This Was a Busy One... 2018-02-06 08:00:00Z 0
I'm tard and cranky, so let's get to it...  Pres for a Day was PDG Clarence for his last shot at fame and glory and he got the meeting off to a roaring start, what with Bob McBee greeting, Jerry Smuts pledging and Gary Spainhower leading the song.  There was no Quote of the Day, but if there had been one, it would have probably come from Sir Winston Churchill, who once said, "One man with conviction will overwhelm a hundred who have only opinions."  Well said, sir.   We had one guest, who we hope will be a guest for only a short time: Larry Potter, who Tracy McLinn is sponsoring into the Club.  Way to go, Tracy.
Tracy's guest, Larry Potter
After downing some delectable Italian entrees, we were treated to Clarence's version of some announcements, and here's a few of 'em:
     1. Charter Night has been delayed due to the non-availability of rooms at the Marriott.  We'll keep you posted, but it's likely to take place in March.
     2. March 13 is the Club Speech Contest
     3. March 31 is the annual Easter Egg Hunt in Hagan Park
     4. May 5 is the Rancho Cordova Golf Classic at Woodcreek Golf Course
     5. May 15 (I think) is District Conference in North Lake Tahoe.  We should all go...
     6. June 21 - 25 is Rotary Convention in Toronto.  We should all go.
     7. Paul Schubert said that ad artwork should be in as soon as possible for the Crab Feed, which is on February 17.  If you know someone sponsoring an ad, let them know.
     8. Ross Johnson announced that Tracy's Crab Feed ad in the Grapevine is terrific  
"Rats, I think one of my tires is low..."
The drawing was next and today it was Larry Potter's turn to screw some righteous individuals out of their shot at the $115 prize as he pulled Gary Spainhower's number from the bowl.  Sadly for Gary, he muffed it and yanked a solitary white ball from the can.  Dangit.
"Dang, I needed that money to pay off some student loans..."
The Sarge was none other than our own beloved Chicago Bears fan, assisted by Ray Wyatt, and they did not disappoint.  There being no pin or badge infractions, he turned to a novel concept.  There being a popular sporting contest this weekend, the big guy set up a Super Bowl pool and asked everyone to throw at least a dollar into it.  The pool set-up is shown below.  Find your initials and we'll let you know if you won anything.
The pool manager makes no warranty that initials contained herein reflect actual contestant's initials due to the crappy handwriting employed by several 'contestants'...
He then set his sights on Steve Forseth, who has reached several milestones in recent weeks: retired from Sac State; took an extended road trip and celebrated his anniversary.  Congrats on all that, Steve.  The Sarge could not keep from harassing long-time friend PDG Clarence about how proud he was of his daughter becoming a Rotarian in Simi Valley, for becoming only the second Club member to serve as Club President twice and for forgetting to introduce our guest, Larry Potter, at the beginning of the meeting.   Somewhere during the melee, the Sarge hauled out a bottle of fine Petit Syrah Verdot, donated by our guest speaker and auctioned it off.  Bidding was brisk, but was finally won by PPPPP Paul Schubert who got the bottle for a paltry $40.  Brud Dufficy got nailed for talking during God Bless America and Ross Johnson fessed up to causing the disintegration of a board he had been sitting on for some time and then,  just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, Ray Wyatt confessed to successfully completing his cataract eye surgeries.  Congrats, Ray.  That was it: game over.  NOTE: The pool garnered $90, of which half will be split between the four 'quarter winners' after the game.  The other half will either go to the Sarge or the Club, depending on how badly the Sarge needs the moolah.
Guest speaker PDG Brian Moore
Next up was our guest speaker, PDG Brian Moore, who as a state of California wine judge certainly has the credentials to talk about this pleasant subject.  After his introduction by President Clarence, Brian got up and gave a most lively talk about wine, it's history and provenance as well as the science behind this major California crop.  Who knew that although the French make more wine than any other country, the good ol' U.S. of A. drinks more of it than any other country?  He dispelled myths about sulfites in wine, a topic that gets a lot of attention in various circles.  All in all, a most interesting talk.  Once completed, the room cleared  as if Alfred Packer had said he was coming to lunch.  Good meeting.
"Wine?  Why didn't you say so?  You've got my attention..."

CLUB FOUNDATION NOTES: After the meeting, the Club Foundation board met and talked over a number of topics of interest:
     1. Current total balance on the Foundation's books is approximately $135,000.
     2. The Foundation funds a variety of local projects, including baby food for the food locker to the tune of $1500 per year, sponsoring two schools for the B Street Theater literacy project to the tune of $2000+, and 
     3. Funding the Foundation's Home Town Hero grants, which this year will be a total of $8000.  Applicants can request up to $4000 for their project and so the Foundation board will select two and possibly more projects for funding some time this summer.
NOTE TO MEMBERS WHO LIKE MONEY:  Working on the Club's Foundation Board, currently chaired by Chase Armer (that's Doctor Chase Armer, to you, pal) is interesting and engaging,and if you are at all interested in playing a part on what is rapidly becoming a large source of community service funding, contact a board member and let him or her know you'd like to get involved.  Chase would be a good place to start.
It's Super Bowl! No... Wait! It's State of the Union John Chapman 2018-01-30 08:00:00Z 0
Hi Kids,
  Your beloved editor was sadly absent today and so this missive arises from the superb reportage of one Ross Johnson, who must be recognized, particularly if there are any errors herein.  Thank you, Ross, for not allowing me even one week off...
"You can't impeach a temporary President!"
Well, it turned out that there were a number of folks missing: Queen for a Day... I meant President for the Month Clarence was off visiting his daughter's brand new Rotary Club; yes, it's true: Debbie has joined Rotary!  Congratulations to both father and daughter!  In Clarence's absence, PPPPPP..... Brud Dufficy led the meeting (and he'll be back later in the year) and he invoked his unique presidential power to get Chase Armer to lead the Pledge and then Mike Passof belted out the song.  Brud then read some sort of saying or something...
A whole row with heart problems...
Although we had no visiting Rotarians, we did have two guests: repeat guest of Tracy McLinn's, Larry Potter and  Ross Johnson's guest and former Interacter Jack Davies, who was sporting a broken arm (no fault of Ross', or so I'm told.)
Mo the Magnificent
IMPORTANT ANOUNCEMENT #1: Charter Night has been postponed due to the lack of a suitable room at the Marriott.  Tom Blinn has reset the date until March.  Stay tuned for details.
"You'll find out about my plan for Charter Night when I'm good and ready to tell ya..."
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT #2: Our Crab Feed is coming up and Ross gave an update and here is the flyer that you can pass around.
Well, there was probably more, but cub reporters are notoriously inconsistent, so you're gonna get none of it here.  Next was the drawing and it was Dr. Bob Adam whose ticket got punched and Bob managed to yank the orange ball from the can!  Since it was a new pot, Bob only garnered a C-note for his effort and he promptly gave it to the Rotary Foundation, thereby meeting his Sustaining Paul Harris Fellowship.  Way to go, Bob.
Bob wonders, "Did I just cough this up or did I pull it from the can?"
Ross Johnson was interim Sarge in the absence of the Club's tallest member and before he could get started, his guest Jack Davies told of his shipwreck on Monterey Bay during which he required rescue assistance ( I still think Ross had something to do with that broken arm.)  Other fines:
1. Pat Orelli is with a new accounting firm and his commute to his new Folsom office saves him 30 minutes (the fine for that,Pat, is a $1 per minute)
2. Chase Armer is now officially a Doctor of Business Administration (and has asked members to address him as "Doctor")  Congrats, big guy...:-)
3. Mike Passof's daughter got her second college acceptance letter (I hope it wasn't to that 'School of Hard Knocks' that Mike attended)
4. Guest Larry Potter paid a Takehara ($20) for Jack Davies' story (at least that's what he said the $20 was for)
5. Neil had no pin (what is my world coming to?)
6. Tom Blinn paid for being run off the road in Gold River, wrecking his car ("Honest, officer, that frickin' tree jumped out in front of me...")
7.  Bob McBee and Jerry Smuts apparently paid money for not paying attention (fair trade, I suppose)
Jack and Tracy
At this point we'd normally be recapping our guest speaker, bit I'm told by generally reliable witnesses that said speaker did not show and it is my understanding that the room cleared as if Hilary Clinton had asked one of us to be her campaign chairperson.
Hamburger Helper never tasted this good...
Long Time Rotarian Steps Up John Chapman 2018-01-23 08:00:00Z 0
Well, sir, it appeared that a semblance of normalcy had returned to the Club as Club members noted that President of the month Clarence had returned to rule the roost in his own inimitable style.
The meeting begins to form
At the door, we were warmly greeted by Bob McBee and as the meeting began to coalesce, it turned out that Brud Dufficy was selected to lead us in the Pledge, followed closely by Gary Spainhower doing his usual terrific job as choirmaster. 
Ever meet a Club President who didn't love microphones?
Off to a good start...  We had two guests, our speaker from the Roseville Club about whom we will wax in a moment and a guest of Tracy McLinn's Larry Potter, who is the director of Somerset Assisted Living right here in Rancho Cordova.  More about Larry at the bottom of this newsletter.
Guest Larry Potter
In any event, once settled, everyone began partaking of the fine minestrone soup and conversations began to proliferate like nuclear weapons.  Naturally, as Club presidents are wont to do, President Clarence got up to rip off a few announcements.  Here's a few of 'em:
1. Club board meeting Wednesday night at Clarence's (it's going on as I write this and the adult beverage concession appears to be a big moneymaker, judging by the sounds and the volume ...)
2. Club Charter Night is going to be on the 27th of this month, most likely at the Marriott.  This is a do not miss event, our Club's birthday party, if you will
3. Crab Feed is on February 17 at St John Vianney.  We need everyone to sell tickets and if that's not feasible, to ask local businesses to sponsor the feed.  See Tracy McLinn's FaceBook page for inspiration
4. Carmichael Rotary Crab Feed is a week later, on the 24th, and we need volunteers to help work their feed, just as they do the same for us
5. Last dictionaries are due out on Thursday and if team captain Conrade Mayer calls, be prepared to come over to Cordova Gardens Elementary and help out.  See Conrade for details.
That was, gratefully, about it for announcements, so we headed directly into the weekly drawing and this week it was for the princely sum of $208!!!  I know, right?  Well our guest, Larry Potter yanked Brud Dufficy's number from the can, and Brud promptly yanked the orange ball from the coffee pot.  I can tell you that the excitement was almost unbearable as a number of unprintable epithets were hurled at Brud, who managed to hold up just fine under the pressure.
In medieval times he would be called "Brud the Lucky", far from what he was called at the meeting
With that little business out of the way, it was time for the Sarge to rear his ugly head.  As my aunt used to say, "It's time to grab the bull by the tail and face the music."  Aided by bagman Gary Spainhower, the big guy first inquired about pin and badge infractions and PE Paul Schubert continued his almost unbroken string of 'no pin excursions' and he was inexplicably followed by drawing winner Brud who was wearing the badge of a former president, Dennis Frierson.  Easy money.  The Sarge then turned to happy fines and Club Secretary Sharon Ewing almost couldn't contain her excitement when she announced that President Clarence has asked for her hand in marriage.  The nick for such an event can be no less than a C-note and it was recorded thus.  My congratulations go out to the happy couple, both of whom are special people in my book. 
Club techie (nerd) and PE, Paul saves the day
  Next Ross Johnson paid for his joy at having completed his part of the dictionary project and asked everyone to take home some lemons (I'm not sure about the connection, either) and suddenly the Sarge turned to an old standby: the quiz, to elicit some more cash from the audience.  He asked a series of questions about the projections of a futurist in San Francisco, who predicted six items of modern living that would be extinct within 10 years.  Among his prognostications: keys, telephones, televisions, and cash, to list a few. Somewhere during the melee, Brud was talked into donating $100 to the Club Foundation from his winnings and suddenly everyone felt better.
In any event, that wrapped up the Sarge's session and so President Clarence got up to introduce our guest speaker, Art Deardorf, from the Roseville Rotary, whose topic was the electronic  outreach tools available to Rotary Clubs to spread the word about Rotary in their communities.  Art talked about ClubRunner (which provides the software for this newsletter) and then went on to talk about the Club's webpage and Facebook page,suggesting that we can create a Facebook page for each of our events if we want to get the word out.  A little technical in spots for a few of us non-techies, it was a call to arms, so to speak, for us to make the best use we can of these electronic tools.  Good talk and at the end, Art almost got a book to sign for the library.  At that point the room cleared as if it was training day at the bomb factory.  Good meeting.

NEW MEMBER PROPOSAL:  Larry Potter has been submitted for membership by his sponsor, Tracy McLinnLarry runs Somerset Assisted Living in Rancho Cordova and lives in Lodi (apparently on purpose).  He is a former Rotarian, having previously been a member of the Lodi Sunrise Club for about 4 and half years.  If you have any objections to Larry's induction into our Club, let the Club Secretary know by next meeting.

Club member Brud brings all the dictionaries into Peter J Shields Elementary
President Clarence leans on the dictionaries Brud has brought in
President Clarence hands out the dictionaries that Brud has brought in
It Was a Dark and Stormy Night... John Chapman 2018-01-17 08:00:00Z 0
In a strange twist of fate, the Rancho Cordova Rotary found itself living in the past, as Rotarians gathered for the inaugural 2018 meeting at the Spaghetti Factory and found to their astonishment Rotary Hall of Famer PDG Clarence Parkins in charge of the meeting.  It seems, with the departure of Club President Brett Schreiner who is going back to school, the past-Presidents got together and figured that they could run the Club for the remainder of the year in Brett's absence.  More on the details later.  Greeted at the door by none other than ol' man Passof's son, Mike, the meeting got off to its typical roaring start and the members were only temporarily bewildered when Clarence strode onto the stage. 
Elvis has entered the building...
His brief explanation of what's going on put everyone at ease and before long we were pledging our allegiance to the flag under the capable tutelage of Bob Adam and then Gary Spainhower swung into his signature piece, God Bless America and everyone settled down to masticate in public.  
The soup brigade...
Guests?  We had one - our Assistant governor (AG) Ray Ward from the Fair Oaks Club was in attendance, presumably to satisfy himself that we were in good hands.  Of course it didn't take us long to disabuse him of that notion...  In any event, we all sat down to consume mass quantities and then Ray was invited up front to bring us up to date on what's going on around the District.  Here's a couple to nuggets:
1. The International Projects Forum is this Saturday, the 13th, at the Presbyterian church down on Florin Road.  If you are internationally minded, you should go.
2. One week later on the 20th, PDG Clarence is leading something somewhere (sorry, Clarence... couldn't make it out...)
3. February 9 and 10th is going to see a Rotary Peace Conference on Vancouver Island, if you're in favor of peace
4. April 7 is District Leadership Assembly, where incoming  Club officers get to gather with their counterparts from other Clubs and make plans for the upcoming year.  This is actually a pretty interesting day, presented by a number of subject matter experts and you can learn a lot about Rotary by going (yes, I'm encouraging you...)
AG Ray announces
With that, it was time for the weekly drawing and AG Ray pulled Pat Orelli's ticket from the shoe and Pat began licking his lips at the prospect of taking home the $193 prize.  Sadly there were too many balls in the can for any expectation of gain and Pat's big chance went a wanting...
The disappointment in the room was palpable as Pat muffed his shot at the prize... well, maybe not Merlin
Well, all good things must come to an end and today was no exception when PP Chapman took to the stage and performed Sergeantly duties, aided by bagman, the unlucky Pat Orelli.  Luckily the bloodletting was brief and the patient was dizzy but unbowed at the conclusion.  First on the hit list was  a pin infraction, self-confessed by PPP Paul.  At this juncture Ray Wyatt jumped into the middle of the melee and fessed up to successful cataract surgery (he didn't perform it; he received it...) and your reporter noted that the improvement in his vision probably spells doom for his art career.  The Sarge then noted that dictionary transfer medium for Team Chapman, which has historically been PDG Clarence, was strangely late to the party this morning at Cordova Meadows Elementary and carried nary a book into the school.  Clarence noted that he was busy working on his slide presentation all morning and was understandably late... no! wait!... he had low tire pressure... or was it... and then he forked over some moolah.
  Moving on, the Sarge then queried the audience to see who had received Christmas presents over the holidays and almost everyone foolishly raised their hand and the Sarge suddenly struck asking all the raised hands to dip into their wallet and fork over a couple of bucks in honor of the folks who cared enough to actually buy them a present.  Easy money.  The Sarge's final fine was gotten from AG Ray Ward, who, when asked what was the best Rotary Club in the District, answered, "Fair Oaks!"  He was credited with the right spirit, but the wrong answer and paid.  About this time Chase Armer chipped in for becoming the most popular guy at all the raves he goes to, now that folks have found out that he may be the only guy in town who understands the new federal income tax.  Just as everyone was about to relax, Neil Orchard jumped in and presented Clarence with his $100 Sustaining Paul Harris contribution for the year, and as fast as it had started, it was over.  Amen, brother.
Well, sir, the program for the day was led by Clarence, assisted by a number of his well-informed lieutenants, and the theme was, "What is our plan for the rest of the year?"  Here's the deal:
1. Past Presidents are going to rotate into the presidency one month at a time;
          a. January it will Clarence Parkins
          b. February it will be Brud Dufficy
          c. March it will be  Sean Twilla
          d. April it might be John Chapman
          e. May it will be Gary Spainhower
          f. June it will be Conrade Mayer
Ross harangues, uhhh... addresses the crowd...
2. The teams are somewhat reformed and team captains are named.  Team duties have shrunk; teams are no longer responsible for locating guest speakers, but are still charged with room setup and teardown.  Team Captains:
          a. Blue Team - Sean Twilla - February & June
          b. Gold Team - Neil Orchard - March
          c. White Team - John Chapman - January & May
          d. Red Team - Ross Johnson - April
This rapid reorganization is the result of a few committed Club members getting together and formulating a plan that will carry the Club through to July, when PPP and PE Paul Schubert takes over and puts his imprint on the 2018 - 19 Club year.  The board asks every one of us members to step up and help out when asked in order to make this somewhat unexpected transition as smooth as possible.
Man, is this soup ever good...
In the course of the presentation, attendees were handed a calendar of events (that we know of at the moment) and those events are recapitulated at the bottom of the newsletter if you want to see what's coming up.  The more or less final pitch was by Ross Johnson who asked everyone to do their best to support our upcoming Crab Feed on the 17th of February.  This means if you are not going to be able to attend or help out,try asking a business associate if they're willing to be an event sponsor.  He reminded us that everyone is expected to donate a raffle item for the Crab Feed raffle or at least $50 if a raffle item is not forthcoming.  As far as this reporter can tell, that pretty much wrapped up the meeting and Rotarians departed the premises as if the sheriff had just showed up...
Dictionary Day at Cordova Meadows Elementary
Clarence meets with the principal, a routine occurrence during his childhood
It Was Like Deja' Vu All Over Again... John Chapman 2018-01-09 08:00:00Z 0
Well sir, this had to be one of the most interesting meetings so far this year.  First of all, the basics:
Presiding: Brett Schreiner
Greeting: Neil Orchard
4 Way Test Reader: Gary Spainhower
Pledge Leader: Marvelene Weier
Song Leader: Ross Johnson
Marvelene's betting $2 on the 49ers...
     Jeff Nauertz - guest of Marvelene 
     Joe Galipeau - guest of Ross Johnson
Can two guys make up a cabal?
Greeter and greetee
At any rate, we began supping after the preliminaries and the minestrone was, as usual, excellent.  As Presidents are wont to do, our Prez jumped in with announcements in order to interrupt what had been some pleasant conversations and he began with a few surprise announcements not on the board.  First one had to do with the similarity between the Oakland Raiders and a salt & pepper shaker (yep, I missed the point of that one...),  and the second one no doubt caught a few by surprise when President Brett announced that this would be his last Rotary meeting.  The Prez is off to become a student pursuing a degree in the medical field.  He did mention that there is a group of past presidents who will be assuming the mantle a month at a time, in order to finish out the year.  When your poor reporter has more details, he will no doubt pass them on to you, kind reader..
"Hey! How about some announcements?"
The rest of the announcements were no particular surprise, beginning with the smile.amazon.com thing.  Note that we will be dark for the next two weeks in honor of the holidays and will be re-forming on January 9, 2018.  You can show up anyway, but your lunch is on you (well, to be fair... it's on you anyway...).  RI President Ian Risely - San Jose - January 3.  Crab Feed - February 17 - sell tickets or round up a sponsor or two.  January 8 - the Ross Johnson Jazz Band is joining up with an Australian orchestra to play a free concert in Rancho Cordova and it's free... you should go.
With that, it was time for the drawing and in Tracy's absence, Secretary Sharon managed the tickets and everything and advertised a pot in excess of $180!  Sean Twilla drew the lucky ticket, which suspiciously turned out to belong to his coworker Paul Schubert, who then totally flubbed his shot at the riches.
Paul about to flub his shot
  Naturally, next came the Sergeant, this time in the person of Ross Johnson, aided in his quest by bagman Jerry SmutsRoss started off by fining himself by way of thanks to the Twilla's who had supplied much of the food and comestibles at the Club Christmas party at the Johnson's place last Saturday.  Janel (do not even think the name Sean...) did a terrific job of it and so it was that the Sarge turned his angry glare upon your poor reporter who was forced to confess that he was a 'situational vegetarian' as a result of eating a bunch of Janel's fine cooking.
The Sarge doing what he does best...(you fill in the blank here...)
  Next on the Sarge's hit list was PDG Clarence who fessed up to leaving his house locked (and unavailable to his Rotary friends) over the weekend while he and Sharon basked in the sunshine in Arizona or some dang place and watched his alma mater become victorious in a football game in which apparently all of the Marshall players were there, either not yet indicted or out on bail.  Paul Schubert paid for being sick and missing the party and suddenly the Sarge started asking folks about happy dollars in their wallets.  Marvelene chipped in as did Pat Orelli who was re-elected to the board of the Dante Club.  Gary Spainhower was happy about some family  things and so was Tom Blinn although I don't think it related to Gary's family.  President Brett was happy as was Secretary SharonNeil Orchard confessed to a Redding trip and paid and finally Ross MacCarty fessed up to being late and not wearing a badge and that, as they say, pretty much wrapped things up.  Game over.  (NOTE: The intuitive reader may note a certain lack of context in the above report.  It's true; it's hard to hear everything going on from the back of the room... workin' on it.)
Before anyone could catch their breath, PP Sean got up and strode purposefully to the front of the room and called for a vote on the proposed slate of Club officers for next year.  Here they are:
President: Paul Schubert
Secretary: Tracy McLinn
Treasurer: Sharon Ewing
Well, someone called for a vote after PDG Clarence moved that nominations be closed and surprise!  It was unanimous.  Congratulations to all selectees.
Well, with the demise of the Sarge and the vote, it was time for our guest speaker.  Doing the intro today was none other than Ross MacCarty, who many feared might wax poetic, but he did himself proud giving us some background on our guest speaker, Maria Almes, who is the Chief of Volunteer Services at the VA facility at Mather Field.
Neil holds his meal down while Ross does the intro...
  Maria gave us some background on her career and then went right in to talking about the plethora (yes, you heard it here first) of services that the VA provides to former service members.  These include, but are not limited to to, nutrition assistance, clothing, shelter assistance, transportation services, long term care services and suicide prevention.  All of this takes place within their operating area which extends northward all the way to the Oregon border.
Guest speaker Maria Almes
  Maria mentioned two things they need: more volunteers to help with the program and a player piano, in case you might be inclined to provide either one or both.  A very engaging talk by an obviously committed program administrator.  At the end, she got the traditional book.
With that, the Prez asked Sharon to locate our server Mo, and ask her into the room, where Brett handed her a fistful of cash that members had donated to recognize her excellent service.
  'Twas a very nice moment and then the room cleared as if Paul Bunyan had just broken wind over in the corner.
Some Surprises John Chapman 2017-12-19 08:00:00Z 0
Trying out a new format; tell me what you think...
Presiding: President Brett Schreiner
Would you buy a used car from this man?
Greeting: Navin Naik (nice job)
Almost Reading the 4-Way Test: Chapman (can't we get someone else?)
Pledge Leader: Navin Naik (some folks just give and give....)
Leading the Song: Ross Johnson (on leave from the Ross Johnson Jazz Band)
Quote for the Day: from author Kaitlin Gow, it was something to the tune of, "It's Christmas... be nice for a change..."  or something along those lines... I forget
Consumption Derby in full flight...
We had a visitor today: Robert Gillespie from the Roseville Rotary... good guy
Well, sir, I had the shrimp salad and I must say it was quite good.  Before the eating was through, the Prez got up and began the announcements and here are the highlights:
1. Our Club Christmas Party is this Saturday at 4:00 P.M. at the Spaghetti Factory and it features white elephant gifts... call PP Sean to sign up if you think you might like to have some fun.
2. Don't forget to buy stuff from Smile.Amazon.com; it's good for your foundation
3, RI President Risely is in San Jose in January to speak and you should go; see President Brett for details
I think there was more, but I was elbows deep in shrimp salad and didn't want to get schmertz all over my tablet
The Prez then quickly moved us into the weekly drawing and it occurred to a number of people in the crowd that Bob Adam's number suspiciously seems to get called even more often than Ray Wyatt's, so we're officially starting a grass roots movement to rename the Ray Wyatt Ripoff to the Bob Adam Larceny Minute/drawing. 
I'm pretty sure there wasn't a dry eye in the house...
Unfortunately for Bob, he pocketed a lonely white ball and the $160 prize remained homeless for yet another week.
The meeting was moving along quite briskly and so we turned to the Sarge, Ross Johnson, who was assisted today by bagman Mike Passof.  To his credit, the Sarge started right off by chipping in some bucks for something having to do with the Ross Johnson Jazz Band recent concert.  He was followed by PDG Clarence Parkins who noted that he and Sharon were going to miss the Christmas Party by going to some obscure football game in Arizona, which clearly brings the man's devotion to Rotary into question.
The Sarge is on duty...
  Brud added to the haul by crowing about something related to dictionaries and for his daughter running in the recent California International Marathon... way to go BrudPat Orelli was recognized for something having to do with the Community Council's tax return and then your humble reporter paid a flagrant fine for his hometown Chicago Bears recent victory.  PP Sean paid for his son's positive reaction to some medication he has begun taking for treating his scarlet fever.  Tracy threw in something for something (couldn't hear...) and then Bob Adam was asked how proud he was of that fine white golf ball he had ripped off from the Club.  Navin must not have been able to take it any longer so he threw some dollars in for having gotten a motel room, or something to that effect.  Your poor reporter didn't get all the context... obviously.  (Important Safety Tip #1 to Navin: don't ever brag about being in a motel room unless you're rescuing hostages... just sayin')  Finally our guest Robert added to the Sarge's take by remembering an old compatriot, Dan Skoglund, who was a former member and President of our Club in the not too distant past.  Well done, Sarge.
With that, the Prez got up and did a swell intro of our guest speaker, Marie Snow, who is a senior fitness instructor (read: trainer) at 24 Hour Fitness over on Micron Drive off Bradshaw.
Guest speaker Marie Snow
  Marie talked to us about her past and what had led her to abandon her earlier life and go into fitness at an age when many seniors are beginning to take life easy.  She talked about how getting fit has many benefits that, to many of us, are not intuitively obvious.   The obvious ones are that you feel better and are more capable of performing physical tasks , but she also described the positive mental, social and emotional benefits.  She gave a very engaging talk,and got Brud so wrapped up in it, that he asked her what hours 24 Hour Fitness is open...  Yes, he did, I kid you not...
"Just sign it; you'll be fine..."
Anyway, that was about it and President Brett gave her the book and the room cleared like a moonshine still with the revenuers closing in.  Good meeting.
Check out one of the best things our Rotary does:
Just Because You're a Senior Doesn't Mean... John Chapman 2017-12-12 08:00:00Z 0
As last week, we got off to a pretty good start, with Greeter Navin handing out badges at the door...
Greeter Navin reporting for duty
and Treasurer Tracy manning the cash register...
"You're not going to give me Clarence's credit card again, are you?"
What a pleasant way to start a Rotary meeting.  It was followed by President Brett getting everyone in line for their opening duties: Navin was called into service (again) to handle the reading of the 'Test' and then PDG Clarence led the Pledge, and then Songleader for Life Gary Spainhower led us in God Bless America.  All well done.  The quote for the day was from Oscar Wilde, who I believe once said, "If you bend over and touch your toes, I'll show you where the wild goose goes" or something to that effect, I forget.  Maybe someone else said it...
In school, the pupils who sat up front tended to be the brown-nosers... just sayin'
Anyway, the feeding frenzy commenced and slowed only slightly when the announcement parade began.  Here's a few:
1. Don't forget Smile.Amazon.com for your holiday purchases if you want to benefit your Club foundation.
2. Club Christmas Party is on the 16th at 4:00 P.M. at the Spaghetti Factory and the optional part, other than showing up, is whether you want to participate in the White Elephant gift exchange.  Do participate... 
3. Last Friday, a number of our members helped intoxicate City Hall staffers at their annual holiday party and we netted about $900 in the effort!  Well done!!!
4, Too late now, but dictionary labeling took place later in the day at B&J Body Shop and dictionaries are now ready for pickup.
5.  January 3 sees R.I. President Ian Risely speaking in San Jose
There was probably more, but your reporter began nodding off and by the rules and standards of journalism, didn't want to begin reporting fake news.  However, about this time PP Sean Twilla arose to announce the slate of officers for next year's Club leadership; the names included:
President - Paul Schubert
Secretary - Tracy McLinn
Treasurer - Sharon Ewing
and after that I couldn't hear much more, but there will be an election coming soon, so be prepared.
Somewhere in the melee, the Prez found time to bring Tom Blinn forward to induct him into our august organization.  Tom, a former member of the Sacramento Rotary and a Rotarian dating back to 1984 is a retired health care administrator whose single largest mistake was moving into Gold River and finding himself in close proximity to Clarence's place.  Tom has had an interesting career and life and it behooves you to engage him in conversation when you can: a very interesting man, and we are delighted to have him onboard.
The Prez inducts Tom into the Club
About this time, PDG Clarence was invited to step up to report on R.I.'s Polio Plus initiative and he did a fine job of it, contrasting last years' count of 37 new cases world-wide with this year's count of only 17, with no new cases reported in Nigeria.  Indeed it looks like we are this close...  Then suddenly, with no warning, Clarence, who serves as the Club Foundation Chair, invited charter member Dr. Merlin Mauk forward to receive yet another (ho hum) Paul Harris award.  Way to go, Merlin; your Club is proud of you.
"Oh geez, another Paul Harris???"
With that little piece of business out of the way, it was time for the weekly Ray Wyatt drawing and this week, Brud Dufficy pulled Bob Adam's number from the basket, but sadly (for Bob anyway) it was all for naught as a lonely white ball appeared in Bob's hand following the 'dipping ceremony'.  The $145 now has another week to register some capital gains or interest or earnings (or whatever)...
Some people have no luck at all...
Well sir, it turned out that PP Sean Twilla was the Sarge for the Day and he was aided by bagman President Brett.  There apparently being no pin infractions to report, he shot right off into Happy Dollars and a few folks ponied up: Clarence was overjoyed at Marshall playing in the New Mexico Bowl against the Colorado State Skeeters or whatever and naturally Chapman had to fork over some sad bucks for the terrible team his once vaunted Chicago Bears have become in recent years.  There were some birthdays: Navin, Jerry Smuts and Pat Orelli (I think) and an anniversary: Brud Dufficy celebrating 40 years of wedded bliss.  At that point things got nasty as the Sarge resorted to the old reliable backup.... the quiz.  It turns out that the following folks apparently know next to nothing about the Winter OIympics: Neil Orchard, Conrade Mayer, Marvelene Weier and Bob Adam.  Finally, the Sarge, in a break with long-standing tradition, nicked new member Tom Blinn on what he called 'general principles.'  Then, as quickly as it had started the bloodshed ceased...
"That's Mister Crab to you, buster!"
At this point, PPPP Paul Schubert, our Crab Feed chair, got up to talk about the organization needed to pull off another successful Crab Feed this year.  Crab Feed is on February 17 and some jobs still need filling, but Paul did a very nice job of outlining the requirements and lining up team leaders.  This is a 100% member participation event for our Club as it is the primary fundraiser we do and it is essential that everyone pick a supporting task.  There will be more as we move forward,but don't hesitate to contact Paul if there is something in particular you'd like to do.   Anyway, at the conclusion of his presentation, the Prez called an end to the festivities and the room cleared as if a juice bar had just opened across the hall.  Good meeting. 
Off to a Good Start John Chapman 2017-12-05 08:00:00Z 0
I know what you're thinking... the ol' guy has started hitting the bottle, but of course, you'd be WRONG!  Just got the computer back from the shop this morning, and as it's Friday night, this will be both late and short.  Mea culpa...
The Room’s Getting Darker... John Chapman 2017-11-28 08:00:00Z 0
It was a full house, as they say.  Overwhelmed by the influx of Rotarians, the Spaghetti Factory set up extra tables and our final count was 23 folks in the room, including some folks you're about to meet.  'Twas a good meeting.  Our greeter (for life?) was none other than PDG Clarence...
Anyone ever seen this man open his wallet before?  Dust and dead moths fell out...
...and when we got to the 4 Way Test, it was PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP Ross Johnson who picked up the ball and rammed it into the end zone.  (For the uninitiated, all those 'P's refer to how many 'Pasts' there are in Club Presidents since Ross was Club President... "Yessir, he's our past-past-past-past-past... etc - President.")  Chase Armer was on the schedule to lead the Pledge, but in his absence, Jerry Smuts did a fine job of it on such short notice.  Our song was led in exemplary fashion by Doc Dufficy's son, Brud.  There was a quote for the day and we sat down to eat mass quantities.
Madame Signer Inner...
Why is this man smiling?  Did you just buy his car?
In the course of sitting down, the President noted that former member Pat Murphy was with us, as well as Rotarian-in-waiting Tom Blinn.  More on Tom in a minute.  After what seemed like only a few minutes of pleasant conversation, PDG Clarence got up to pass on some sad news: one of our past Presidents and former Club Secretary, Jerry Foote passed away over the weekend somewhat unexpectedly from some form of pulmonary problem.  Our thoughts and prayers go out to Jerry's wife, Vicki and the Foote family.
For $20 point to the one having a good time...
"You went to Hawaii?"
When it was time for announcements, President Brett did not disappoint:
  1. This Saturday at 11:00 A.M. the Life Steamers have invited us to Hagan Park to see the work they've done with our grant award and have pictures taken and lunch.  Go if you can and take your kids/grandkids if they'd like to take a train ride.
  2. November 20 is our Thanksgiving Food Distribution project over at the Cordova Food Locker.  Please go if you can.
  3. December 1 we're bartending at the city's holiday party.  If you didn't sign up for it, see President Brett.
  4. December 10 is Rotary Night at the Kings... I'm sure more details will follow
  5. Next week being Thanksgiving and all, we're going to be dark.  You'll get a reminder when you show up and none of your friends are in attendance.
I think there was more, but my pencil lead and interest broke down about the same time, so...
Former New Yorker makes good in California
Why is this man smiling?  Did you just buy a car from him?
Next was the traditional weekly drawing and this time it was Paul Schubert's number that got called, but with more than 10 balls in the can, we all knew it was long odds.  Bowing to mathematical improbability, Paul managed to score a lonely white ball and the $147 pot went wanting for yet another week (or two).  We feel your pain, Paul...
More or less proud owner of a white ball that's seen better days...
The Sarge for the Day was our old friend PDG Clarence and he did right by the Club, hoisting cash from just about everyone in the room.  I'm almost surprised he didn't go for our delightful server, Mo.  Before beginning his pillage, he thanked President Brett and Secretary Sharon for putting up the banner over the window.  Once we get the height right, the room should darken enough that we won't be able to see our food, but the slide shows should be magnificent.  First on the Sarge's hit list were PPPP Paul Schubert (pin infraction - an easy one) and then Ross Johnson paid a pin fine for apparently picking up his mail at the post office in his bathrobe sans pin... or something to that effect.  Ray Wyatt fessed up to taking his badge home the previous week to have it polished, and man did it ever glow...  We celebrated Secretary Sharon Ewing's 39th birthday with a song led by Jerry Smuts... I believe it was 'Happy Birthday', but you couldn't tell from either the lyrics or the melody.   PPPP Paul paid for winning that fine white golf ball and for being in Sand Point, Idaho, the previous week (apparently on purpose) and that seemed to motivate Neil Orchard to pay up for last week's trip to Hawaii.  Marvelene made the list by fessing up to being in Bakersfield, fer cryin' out loud and then Mike Passof mentioned that he had spent some quality time in the mountains of Nevada recently and we seemed to be raking it in faster than the Sarge could count. 
Sergeant Parkins reports for duty...
Ross Johnson admitted to getting most of the notes correct at the recent orchestra outing and suddenly the Sarge turned his attention to his archenemy, the Illinois grad, and asked how their football team had fared.  The big guy paid up, but not before exacting a matching pledge from the Sarge, which resulted in the Club's coffers being enriched by an additional two Takehara's (NOTE TO THE UNINITIATED: A 'Takehara' is a $20 bill, so named for a former Rotarian who famously called for them during fining sessions.)   Tom Blinn chipped in for being happy to be able to join the Club (no refunds, Tom).  Finally, Ray Wyatt paid an additional fine for some transgression I didn't catch and fast as a whip, the bloodletting was over.
Guest speaker Laura Drath
This meant that it was time for our guest speaker, who was introduced by Bob Adam as Laura Drath, who works at the Nimbus Fish Hatchery.  Laura gave a very interesting and insightful presentation on the hatchery, as well as the surrounding environs and described the processes used in managing salmon and steelhead populations in the river.  Who knew how important water temperature is to successfully raising fish?  Her talk engendered many questions, a sure sign of an engaging speaker.  Very well done.
The book ceremony
  At the end, President Brett gave her the book and the room cleared as if Attila the Hun had just entered the establishment.   Good meeting.

Fireside Chat:  A fireside chat for Tom Blinn was held at Clarence Parkins' house later in the afternoon and Tom indicated he was delighted to be joining our august organization.  Tom is a former member of the Sacramento Rotary and is a retired health care administrator who began his career on the East Coast (New York, even) and moved to the Midwest and most recently to Sacramento.  He has an interesting story and you could ask him about it.  We are glad to have him on board.  Welcome, Tom.  Induction is scheduled for the meeting following Thanksgiving.
We're Dark Next Week! John Chapman 2017-11-14 08:00:00Z 0
What an interesting meeting...  First off we had Clarence greeting folks at the door and he's just about got all the names down now.  As the meeting started, it was Jerry Smuts who was called on to read the 4-Way Test and Jerry's Indiana public school education served him well in that capacity.
Local male dancer arrives at the meeting
  Next up was young Brud Dufficy who got us off to a roaring start with the Pledge and then, when Chase Armer was observed absent, it fell to Bob McBee to pinch hit leading the song, a task he took to like a horse to a glue factory.  Nicely done.
You know this spells trouble, right?
  The thought for the day came from former congressman John Doolittle, who was once apparently quoted as saying, "I never saw an election I didn't enjoy fixing..." or words to a similar effect.  In short order, we introduced our two guests for the day, Faith Duncan and her husband Tyler.  More on Faith later...
Nuclear physicists call this a critical mass...
Suddenly, inexplicably, the Prez kept right on going, moving right into his favorite topic: announcements.  Frankly, your poor reporter could make neither heads nor tails of them and so encourages the kind reader to refer to last week's bulletin to get the full force and effect.  Then, lickety-split, we headed into the weekly drawing and today it was Jerry Smuts whose number was called and Jerry did not disappoint when he pulled out a white golf ball and left the $97 pot wanting.  (I never win, but I guess I could improve my odds by at least buying a ticket...)
Brud delivers the table blessing...
At this point the Prez called for the Sarge, PP Sean Twilla to come up and do some damage,but the PP procrastinated in order to call Faith Duncan up to the front of the room to present her with one of the two $1000 scholarships the Club presented to Kinney High students earlier this year.  Faith, who is attending American River College is pursuing a degree in sign language and she reassured the Club that our money is well spent on her education.  Nicely said.
Clarence and member-in-waiting Tom Blinn
  Then as fast as a Lamborghini, the Sarge suddenly started reaming his friends in the audience, aided by bagman President Brett.  President Brett was the first to contribute for an error your humble reporter didn't catch and then Ray Wyatt caught the Sarge's notice for wearing his grown-up clothes to the meeting  and apparently interrupting the President, so he chipped in too.  PDG Clarence was next on the 'Oh crap' list for being a felony interrupter as well.  Surprisingly, the Sarge himself then threw in some of his own hard-earned money just for being able to be Sarge (and ream his friends.)   Jerry Smuts was next, crowing about his annual Oregon trip and for the fact that his daughter had sold something (propriety prevents me from speculating as to what it was she was selling...)  Brud donated just because we had a guest speaker who was going to talk about distilling alcohol and naturally Bob McBee wasn't far behind..  Chapman paid for the dismal record of his Fighting Illini football team, at the same time calling into question the quality of Marshall Middle School's football opponents.  Ross Johnson was still rejoicing over Army's win over Air Force and he paid.  Navin Naik was next on the hit parade and he paid for simply being happy (I'd pay for that too, Navin...)  Merlin was ever so proud of his son for winning a trip to Holland and fattened the pot for it.  "General Principles" was the excuse for Bob Adam throwing a few bucks in.  The Sarge put on his humanitarian hat and went to some non-fine questions.  Treasurer Tracy was first and didn't even know the year Rutherford B. Hayes (his friends all called him 'Ruth' for short) was inaugurated as President of the United States!!!  What has become of our public school system?  Finally (and not a moment too soon) Pat Orelli missed the date of the inaugural edition of the London Gazette by only about 250 years and that was that...
Guest speaker Greg Baughman, Gold River Distillery
Our guest speaker for the day was Greg Baughman, who founded, back in 2013, the Gold River Distillery right here in Rancho Cordiva.  Greg gave a very engaging talk about how he began the enterprise and alluded to the plethora of regulations that control the distillery industry.  Introduced by Brud Dufficy, Greg talked about the different ways that alcohol is produced and even brought some bottles of his firm's product for examination.  
Merlin realizes too late that there is a cap on the bottle... dammit
The reams of state and federal regulations would seem to intimidate a lesser man, but Greg's Gold River Distillery has been growing since inception and we wish him all the best.  A well done presentation, at the end, the Prez gave him the book and the room cleared as if Catherine O'Leary's cow had just entered the restaurant.
Let's Talk Alcohol... 2017-11-07 08:00:00Z 0
Well, here's the main way...
Any excuse to dress up...
Well, it was an unusual meeting to say the least, but then that's what makes Rotary so engaging.  As Forrest Gump once famously stated, "You never know what you're gonna get..."  The meeting started off innocuously enough with Bob McBee doing greeter duties from his chair at the back of the room and when President Brett got everyone organized and reading from the same sheet of music, we heard Pat Orelli recite the 4 Way Test from memory, a remarkable feat given the state of Pat's memory, and then PP Sean Twilla led the Pledge, followed by chorus master Gary Spainhower leading the song.  Not long after that, we heard the Prez recite some obscure quote from author Stephen King, who once apparently opined that it was better to be rich and weird than poor and normal (or something along those lines... I don't 'zackly remember...)
Marvelene checks in with our beauty school dropout...
We had a visitor today: Tom Blinn, who up until recently was a member of the Sacramento Rotary Club but has retired and lives in Rancho Cordova and is looking for a new Rotary home.  Welcome Tom; we hope you'll come back and see us.
Tom obviously isn't afraid of making enemies as he draws the lucky ticket...
We smartly moved on into announcements and there were the usual ones with a new one or two mixed in:
  1. Don't forget to spend your Christmas dollars at Smile.Amazon.com
  2. Interested in International projects? Go to the forum  on November 4 at Faith Presbyterian church from 9:00 to noon and hear all about them.
  3. Our Thanksgiving Food Locker project is on November 20 all morning and we can use some help with handing out food... please come and lend a hand
  4. We're tending bar at the R.C. City Hall Holiday Party on December 1 and need bartenders; a signup will be going around
  5. (New one) Dec 10 is Rotary Night at the Kings at the new arena downtown.  This could be a fun event; you should go.
About this time, treasurer Tracy circulated around the room and asked visitor Tom Blinn if he'd draw the ticket for the lucky drawing contestant and sure enough he drew Sharon Ewing's number, and since there was only one white and one orange ball remaining, as one might expect, Sharon got the orange one and a grand prize of $257!
Lucky Sharon holds up an acceptable number of fingers...
  Way to go Sharon!  (We all agreed that it was a damn shame that Clarence was the Sarge today and so one can only imagine the 'social' impact of the following fining session)
With the pot disposed of, it was time for the Sarge and today it was PDG Clarence aided in the endeavor by bagman Ross Johnson.  The Sarge began by nicking President Brett for forgetting the scheduled Foundation presentation and the Prez paid.  So Clarence invited PPPP Paul Schubert up to the front of the room and presented him with his Paul Harris +5 pin.  Well done, Paul!  Pin infractions? This time it was President Brett and Ross MacCarty who got the nod, even though Paul Schubert was sitting right there.
The bagman commiserates with the usual drawing winner... 
  Secretary Sharon was invited to chip in some of her winnings to the Club and a C-note to the Rotary Foundation, a fine which she obviously paid under duress.  Your poor reporter got hammered for the dismal record of his hometown Chicago Bears as well as his alma mater, the University of Illinois.  Suddenly, surprise of surprises, the Sarge ponied up some cash for his vaunted Herd from Marshall Middle School who lost a game the previous weekend (probably not enough pocket money to bail out their key players...) (Heard the joke about the 'Herd"?... they like playing on natural turf so that their cheerleaders have a place to graze...)
The Sarge, hard at work ripping off his friends
Tracy, looking tres chic, paid for her holiday attire and finally the Sarge backed into the 'Happy Dollars' part of the session, a concept as foreign to him as paying his taxes.  Marvelene chipped in on the two year anniversary of her pancreatic cancer surgery and got a big round of applause.  Way to go, MarveleneRay actually threw in for failing to win the weekly drawing for the first time in recorded memory.  Bagman Ross Johnson contributed for being proud of the recent Explorers event he took part in, and then Gary Spainhower mentioned that he was going to Palm Beach next week and paid in advance!  Penultimately Paul Schubert paid after reflecting on his 49ers spotless record this year and the whole shebang wrapped up when PP Sean added $100 bill to go to the Foundation (the Rotary one, not the Club one...) and that was that...  
This is the part where things took a turn, so to speak... In the apparent absence of a real guest speaker, the Prez introduced the Club to a game of "News Conference' or something like that.  At the President Brett's request, Ross MacCarty was asked to leave the room while the members decided on a recent news story that we could imagine Ross being involved in.  That story turned out to be the one where the two lady sailors got stranded in mid-Pacific and weren't rescued for several months: we imagined that Ross was on the boat with them.  When he was brought back into the room, Ross was asked a bunch of questions by the audience about his non-existent experience and he had to figure out what the news event was.  At long last, he sorted it out.  Fun game.
Mr Community Corps
Last on the day's' agenda, Ross Johnson got up and talked about some recent and upcoming events and invited us all to get involved.  As head of the Rotary Community Corps effort , he talked about the recent Explorers event last Thursday at Walnutwood School and then moved on to this Thursday's State of the City presentation at City Hall where a surprise announcement will be made.  Stay tuned.  November 4 will see a veterans' event at the VA facility at Mather and we're encouraged to go, by way of thanking our veterans for risking so much for us.  See the flyer below.  There's something going on at Village Green Park on November 26, but I didn't catch all of it, but I think it involves the Ross Johnson Jazz Band, so you should go.
That was almost it until PPPPPPPPPPPPP Brud stood up and gave us an update on both the B Street Theater project as well as the Dictionary project.  And that was it, and the room cleared as if the IRS had just shown up.  

If you're interested in the folks representing your Club at last weekend's Foundation Dinner, here's some pics:
PDGs always show up at these things because of all the brown-nosing that goes on...
There's always a lot of PPPPs there because of all the ... well, you get it....
Lucky Number 7...
Sharon chats while Clarence works on the ol' eyelid trick...

How Can You Tell If It's Halloween? John Chapman 2017-10-31 07:00:00Z 0
Yessir, it was an interesting meeting.  I believe, however, it would have gone a lot faster if the Prez had adopted my suggestion to quit showing the slides at the beginning of the meeting that misidentify all the key folks: song leader, pledge master, etc...  The odds of everyone showing up to do their assigned duties is so remote as to make Super Lotto look like a sure thing...
The big hitters start to roll in... (is that a pocket protector?)
  Nevertheless, it was interesting, with the traveler Jerry Smuts being replaced by Clarence Parkins as Greeter.  Nice job, Clarence. As the Prez shifted into high gear, it was Ross Johnson who got to read the 4 Way Test, and Ross even added an item or two.  When PP Sean Twilla failed to materialize, it fell to Ray Wyatt to lead the Pledge and he did a bang-up job if it.  In the absence of Gary Spainhower, Chase Armer led us in the song and did it so well that the assembly voted him 'Songleader for Life.'
A roomful of old people preparing to Pledge...
The quote for the day was from Rotarian Estes Snedecor, the great grandfather of Brant Snedeker, the golfer.  Great grandpa Estes was quoted as saying something to the tune of, "Never up, never in..." which was later adopted by the National Basketball Association.
Neil with guest speaker Heather Schelske and Jenny Ta
Thus the meeting got underway and a series of delightful conversations ensued, interrupted only when President Brett felt the need to kill off any fun anyone might be having at his Rotary meeting.  As one has come to expect, it was announcements first and since no one could see the screen, here's a few of 'em:
1. Don't forget to use Smile.Amazon.Com when buying stuff online if you want Amazon to start giving back some of your purchase to our Club Foundation.
2. Today is World Polio Day (more on that)
3. Saturday night is the Foundation Dinner at the Citrus Heights Community Center
4. There is an International Project Forum in January for those who have an interest in making the world a better place.
5. Our annual Thanksgiving Food Locker volunteer day is November 20 at St John Vianney (more info to follow)
6. We're bartending the City's Holiday Party and the date has been changed to December 1, and we'll need bartenders and helpers, so prepare for a call from our project chair who will be named by President Brett at a later date
7. Yes there was more, including a few by Ross Johnson, but your poor reporter's pencil broke a lead about this time.... sorry
This is what you call a past president's confab...albeit in two syllable words or less...
With the conclusion of the prelims, it was time for the weekly Ray Wyatt fund drive.  Sadly Ray intimated that the pot, which had grown to $238 was still not big enough, so he allowed Pat Orelli's ticket to be called and Pat did not disappoint, pulling one of only two white balls left in the can.  Hard cheese, Pat.
Ray digs in as Pat does his taxes...
Up next was the Sarge, portrayed convincingly by none other than PPP Chapman.  The big guy opened up with pin and badge infractions and in Paul Schubert's absence he was able to spot Neil Orchard sans pin.  When the Sarge tried to get Neil to chip in a little extra for his upcoming trip to .... dare I say it?... Hawaii, Neil demurred.  PDG Clarence shucked off a few tacklers and threw some bucks in for Marshall's win last weekend over a hoity toity girls' academy in New Jersey and Chapman felt the need to atone for his Fighting Illini loss to the Golden Gophers of the University of Minnesota, a pain partially assuaged by his beloved Chicago Bears win over the Carolina Panthers on Sunday.  Mike Passof apparently forgot that today was World Polio Day and chipped in a few bucks.  (Editor's Note: all the Sarge proceeds for the day went to Polio Plus, the Rotary drive to eliminate polio around the world.)  Bob McBee stood up and complained that he had received no whine for his and Diane's anniversary at the last fining session hosted by PDG Clarence, but at least we got Bob's whine...  Brud threw in some happy $ and Chase contributed, expressing his pride in the quality of the song at the beginning of the meeting. There were some others, but the reporter's pencil broke again.... yeah, that's the ticket...
This looks like trouble...
At this point, President Brett asked Neil Orchard to come up and introduce our guest speaker for the day, Heather Schelske, who is the director of the Neil Orchard Senior Center over on Routier Road.  Neil gave a brief yet pungent introduction and Heather got up to tell us about all the activities at the Center.  The Center sponsors over 30 different programs, ranging from travel trips to meals on wheels to HICAP counseling for those who need help sorting out Medicare and Medi-Cal benefits.  At an annual membership cost of $2 (yes, you read that right.... but they'll bill you weekly if necessary) members have access to the full range of Center activities.
Heather Schelske
  The Rotary Club has supported the Senior Center for a number of years, including tree planting in the Rotary Grove at the Center in memory of past Rotarians.  It was a most interesting talk and engendered  a lot of questions, which is the hallmark of an engaged audience.  Well done, Heather.  With that, the Prez handed her the book and the room cleared as if it was the ballroom on the Titanic.
The obligatory book signing
Good food.  Good meeting.  
The Neil Orchard Senior Center?!?!? John Chapman 2017-10-24 07:00:00Z 0
A rolling stone gathers no attendees, and we once again changed venues, this time to our more-or-less permanent home at the Old Spaghetti Factory in the Nimbus Winery complex.  Although Ray Wyatt was the scheduled greeter, it fell to Clarence Parkins to pick up the duty in Ray's absence and Clarence outdid himself by recognizing at least 45% of the club members who entered the room.  President Brett, fresh from his fatherly duties, opened the meeting by asking Paul Schubert to read the 4-Way Test and Paul once again demonstrated the value of a good remedial reading course.  Then the Prez went looking for Jerry Smuts to lead the Pledge, but naturally Jerry was in Oregon, so  it left Brud to fill the gap and nice gap-filling job he did.  Gary Spainhower was next up leading the song and Gary did his usual terrific job of it.  Once we sat through some quote by Muhammad Ali (I think it was "I am the greatest!" or perhaps it was "Float like a life raft, sting like a jellyfish" or something akin to that.... as I remember)
Rotary Security Staff
With that, we all sat down to a bowl of minestrone soup (mmmmm... good) and some pleasant conversation with our table mates.  Before long the entrees appeared, served up by the fabulous Mo and the serious masticating began in earnest.
Fabulous Mo
 As always, next up were announcements and they were the usual ones, but there was a new one we need to keep in mind: we have volunteered to bartend the City of Rancho Cordova Christmas Party on December 9th and will need to stock and man a bar for the attendees.  This can be a nice fundraiser for us, since we get to keep the proceeds and we'll be looking for volunteers to help out in the near future.
PPPP Paul Schubert wondering if his bread comes with water
In addition, there is an International Project Forum coming up on Nov 4 for those interested in getting involved in this worthwhile area of Rotary.  November 20 we are participating in the Thanksgiving Food Locker food distribution.  Regarding the Napa fire, PDG Bob Deering is accepting cash donations written out to the District 5180 Foundation, so if you're inclined to provide your neighbors with some much needed assistance, that is a terrific way to go.  Finally, Ross Johnson mentioned that the Ross Johnson Jazz Band is playing this Saturday at 4:00 P.M. at a location that escaped your reporter (Hey! I had a mouthful of soup!!!)  Check with Ross for the location.
The front table...

Not the front table
With that, it was time for the weekly disappointment and this week it was Mike Passof's turn to embarrass himself by pulling.... yes... wait for it... another white ball from the pot, thereby enabling the $210 jackpot to grow even further for next week.  See Chase Armer for an explanation of compound interest, which unfortunately doesn't apply to our weekly drawing... rats...
Mike's anguish clearly in evidence...
Well, sir, in every life a few surprises pop up from time to time and today's surprise was that our Sarge would be the recently absent PP Sean Twilla, a job he has had his eye on since PDG Clarence once fined him for his felony record.  Truth be told the past Prez did a creditable job, yanking quite a few happy bucks from the crowd before nailing Bob McBee on the potential Yankees/Dodgers World Series and then Ross Johnson for his recent trip to Lake Tahoe, and Mike Passof for his recent fishing trip where Mike mentioned he didn't even have to clean all the fish he caught.  Clarence and Sharon both got mentioned for Sharon's blatant wearing of a green Marshall t-shirt and Marshall's recent football victory over a nearby preschool.  Paul Schubert crowed about his company's saving the day for someone in the recent Napa fires and then Navin Naik crowed about his Mexican cruise and then Merlin Mauk crowed about his house in Napa surviving the fires (I should have probably left that out because there is every possibility that Doreen does not know of such a house.)  
The Sarge throws his own money into the pot!!!
Chase Amer's relatives' house survived the fires and then Ross Johnson was noticed for wearing the wrong 'Ross' badge.  Brett paid for multiple infractions of the Rotary Code of Conduct ( I will only reveal my service number, I will not reveal any classified information, etc...) and then Sean paid for his multiple trips (including Vegas the day after the shooting) and then a general fine was levied against Gary Spainhower's end of the front table just 'cuz... and that was it.  Easy peasy, lemon squeezie...
Suddenly quiet descended on the room as President Brett stepped back up to the podium and introduced our guest speaker, Rebecca Graulich, who heads up the Rancho Cordova Respite Club.  The Respite Club is a resource for locals who are caring for elderly family members who are suffering from dementia and her program allows caregivers to bring their charges into the Respite Club to spend the day while the caregiver is able to get some 'me' time away from the demands of providing care to their parent or spouse or other family member.
Rebecca Graulich
  It is a terrific program and Rebecca has spoken to us before.  She mentioned that statistically the top three caregivers are (in order): spouses, then daughters, then daughters-in-law and she threw out some fairly dramatic figures on the prevalence of dementia in California and in the Sacramento region in particular.  She is obviously very knowledgeable and focused on her mission of providing an avenue for caregivers to get some relief.
Would you buy a used car from anyone at this table?
Sign here, please...
  An excellent talk, Rebecca got the book at the end and the room scattered like ping pong balls in a tornado.  Good meeting.
Gettin' the Hang of It John Chapman 2017-10-18 07:00:00Z 0
Where to start... well, let's begin at the beginning and see where it leads us.  For the Governor's visit, we moved back to our old haunts at City Hall (yes, dear reader, we're back at the Spaghetti Factory next week.)
Power hitters before the meeting: PDGs Barry and Clarence and DG Sandy
  President Brett had taken a day off from fatherly duties and led the traditional bored meeting before the real meeting and when the real meeting began, we almost had our designated greeter, Ray Wyatt, at the door. 
Brud warms up our AG Ray Ward
Paul Schubert was tasked with reading the 4 Way Test from the slide, a job he has perfected since completing that remedial reading course he signed up for last summer.  Well done.  Jerry Smuts was the designated pledge leader but was not in attendance, so the job went to Ross MacCarty, who did a fine job.  Song leader?  Gary Spainhower had not yet made his appearance, so President Brett called on Ray Wyatt's dulcet tones to lead us in God Bless America and Ray once again excelled at his assignment.
The Club Secretary is Italian?
  The quote for the day came from Babe Ruth, who once apparently said, "When you come to a fork in the road, take it..."  (Yogi stole it from him...)
With the conclusion of the preliminaries, the Club and its guests sat down to a fine repast of roast chicken and baked beans, with salad and trimmings, including 'punkin pie' with whipped cream. 
Mass quantities on the eve of consumption...
Another terrific meal by Dave and Jan
Roast chicken and fixin's
Naturally, any president worth his stripes can't allow amicable conversation go on too long and so Brett got up after a few minutes and threw up.... some announcements on the screen, including the one where he reminds everyone that we have the District Governor visiting today (duh...)  See the pic to suss out any announcements you may be interested in.  
Read 'em and weep...
Of course, following said announcements it was time for the weekly drawing and this week's pot almost went to Bob Adam, whose number was drawn by DG Sandy.  Sadly for Bob, the $193 continued on its merry way, waiting for Ray Wyatt to show up at a future meeting and stake his claim.
Wait for it...
 Oh crap...
Under the heading of "I Love It When a Plan Comes Together", we were treated to surprise Sarge Ross Johnson, aided by bagman Paul Schubert, who lightened more than a few wallets today.  (I understand that Ross was just as surprised as anyone in the room.)  Paul was the first to get nicked when, surprise of surprises, he had been out in public without his Rotary pin!  Sergeant Ross chipped in when he related that his son and his unit had deployed to Afghanistan.  We all join Ross in wishing him Godspeed.  Next Clarence was identified as a proud alumnus of Marshall University whose football team had to overcome a lot of CTE to triumph this past weekend over a team from a local car repair chain.  The Sarge then adeptly noted that both Ross MacCarty and Marvelene Weier were late to the meeting, and always the gentleman, Ross paid for half of Marvelene's fine.  What a .... guy...  Brud was next on the hit parade, noting that one of his daughters who lives in Napa had one of her houses burn in the recent fires in that area of the state.  It turns out that Neil Orchard graduated from elementary/high/reform school 60 years ago and had recently attended his class reunion.  Next Bob Adam volunteered that he had attended a reunion of his medical school class over in Sonoma (and probably not a day too soon, given the recent events there.) 
Merlin pays the piper...
Merlin was next to donate, followed by Steve Forseth who recently had the initial 50% of his scheduled cataract surgeries.  Ray Wyatt paid for uncharacteristically losing the weekly drawing, and the bleeding finally stopped when PDG Clarence decided to embarrass his friend from the Midwest about the recent sad showings of some athletic teams from that vicinity.  Since cheapo Clarence was only throwing in a buck, his former friend made up the difference by letting fly a ten spot,and that was it...
In a last minute effort to steal minutes from the District governor, Chapman stood up and made some kind of big deal about a banner that Beler had presented the week before , and then before you knew it, President Brett got up to introduce our Assistant Governor (AG for the uninitiated) Ray Ward who arose to introduce District Governor Sandy Sava from the Rotary Club of Sacramento Breakfast. 
AG (and DGN) Ray Ward
Accompanying Sandy today was PDG Barry Kalar from the Rotary Club of West Sacramento.  Sandy opened her presentation with a brief reminiscence about how her car had a tree fall on it the last time she attended our Club and she pleaded with us to leave the dang thing alone this time.  She also related how she had been contacted by RI this morning and asked what kind of help they might provide in addressing the needs of the victims of the Napa/Sonoma country fires this past week.  She will be letting us know what we can do to help our friends who are in need as soon as the picture clarifies itself.
DG Sandy Sava with a blank slide
She opened her talk with a recap of RI President Ian Risely's three part goal for Rotary this year: 1. Plant a tree, 2. Promote Peace, and 3. Increase the number of women in Rotary.  She also told us about this year's District theme: 'Reflect back, Embrace the Future.'   After introducing Rotary's new branding (the new gold wheel), she surprised more than a few of us by outing PDG Clarence, whose birthday was today (anyone who can guess Clarence's age within 10 years gets  prominent mention in some publication... somewhere...)
Now everyone knows...
  DG Sandy then looked back into Rotary history, noting the upheavals in Rotary character that seem to occur about every 30 years, including the addition of women to Rotary membership rolls back in the late 80's as well as the recent initiatives to develop a more flexible posture in the Clubs in terms of hard and fast requirements: attendance, meeting frequency, meeting type, etc.  Finally she hyped the upcoming District Conference, which is going to be held at the Hyatt Regency at Incline Village from May 11 - 13.  This was one of the better DG tallk this reporter has had the privilege to hear.  At the end, it was up to President Brett to ask DG Sandy to sign the book and then he announced that the Club would be making a $100 donation to the Rotary Foundation in her name.
Traditional PR shot...
With that, the meeting came to a skidding halt as Club members headed for the door as if Attila the Hun had just showed up in the parking lot.

First, we are back at Spaghetti Factory next week.  Don't go to City Hall!

Next, we've been invited to a social event at the Fort Rock Brewing Company by our sister Club, the Rancho Cordova Sunrise Rotary Club.  It's next Wednesday; see the flyer.  This can be a good recruiting tool for us, so if you can go and even bring a guest, that would be terrific.  Best bet: contact President Brett.

Finally. last week's bulletin had a quiz question in it, the correct answer to which could earn the first responder a $10 Starbucks card.  The quiz question was, "According to the 1991-92 Club directory, how members were there in the Rancho Cordova Rotary Club?"  The contest is still on; the 3 or 4 responses received were off by more than a few members.
We Had a Busy Day Today 2017-10-10 07:00:00Z 0
Dear Reader,
  This epistle will be exceedingly short since your poor reporter wasn't smart enough to take pictures and notes while at the same time running the meeting.  Before we begin, it is appropriate to note why we were not graced with the presence of our President Brett today.  It turns out that the Prez became a Dad for the second time last Thursday, Sept 28th, when the Schreiners welcomed the newest member of their family, young baby Lincoln, into the world.  Mom and baby are doing fine, thank you very much, but little Linc was so eager to start exploring the world that he emerged about 2 months early, nevertheless weighing 6 lbs 8 oz and stretching the tape at 19.5 inches!  That being said, he needs considerable out-of-the -womb 'training' and will be hospitalized for at least a few weeks.  With Mom and Dad taking turns with him, that brought us to the sorry state of having PPP Chapman run the dang meeting (again.)  Our congratulations to the Schreiners...:-)
Well, the meeting started off on time, more or less and was opened with the PPP asking Navin Naik to lead off with the first part of the 4 Way Test, followed by Neil Orchard, Bob McBee and Ross Johnson all four of whom did a bang-up job of it.  The pretend Prez thanked Navin for standing in for our scheduled greeter (who is nameless) and then asked Ray Wyatt to lead the Pledge, a task to which Ray took like a cat to a roomful of rocking chairs, pausing to pull up a picture of an actual flag on his iPhone so it would be legal.  The PPP asked Merlin to do his usual magnificent job of leading the song and the meeting was off to a good, if imperfect, start.
  Our one guest for the day was former member and treasurer, Beler Watts, who had returned from the wilds of Arizona to go slumming with his old pals.  Beler later complained that his 4 rounds of golf every week were eating into his retirement lifestyle, a problem that I suspect a few of us would like to have.  With that, everyone sat down to consume mass quantities.
A short Rotarian and a tall Rotarian play tug of war with a torn banner...
PPP Chapman interrupted the festivities only when it became apparent that no one else would and led off with the usual announcements.  Here are the important ones:
1. Next week is DG Sandy Sava's annual visit to our Club and we need every available Rotarian to be there.  She will sit in on the board meeting at 11:00 and then attend the lunch meeting and speak to the Club.  Come out if you can.
2. Tied to announcement #1 above, we will be meeting at Rancho Cordova City Hall next Tuesday in order to facilitate the board/Club meeting without too much driving in between...
3. The District 5180 Foundation Dinner is still going to be held on Saturday, October 28 at the Citrus Heights Community Center starting at 6:00 P.M.  We have filled one table already and there is room for more; if you can go and haven't signed up, contact Clarence.
There was more but it got lost in the shuffle since the Club reporter was not taking notes.  So sue me.
Next we held the weekly drawing and since Ray Wyatt was in the crowd, everyone held their breath, expecting the worst.  When Chase Armer's number was called, we all breathed a collective sigh of relief, since everyone knows that when Ray is there, no one but him is ever going to pull the orange ball out of the can.  Sadly for Chase, his $177 payday was at least postponed if not vaporized.
Since we had to have a Sarge, it fell to PDG Clarence to pillage his fellow Rotarians and he did it with relish (if not mustard and ketchup).  I forget all the fines, although I think we all delighted when the lone Chicago fan in the Club threw in a Takehara for the disappointing showing of his hometown Bears.
We had no guest speaker (where is that Blue Team when you need them?), so we went into a survey conducted by Clarence as to what dishes on the Spaghetti Factory menu our members would like to see on our weekly menu cards.  If you didn't get to register a preference, an email to Clarence will allow your voice to be heard.  About this time, the PPP invited the PPP Treasurer to come forward and present the Club with the banner from a Club he attends from time to time at his new home in Arizona.  Yes, folks, he lives in Arizona on purpose...  The pic above proves it... In any event, that wrapped up the meeting and members scattered like there was a gathering of IRS auditors in the next room...
Quiz Question
If you're still reading, here is a question, the correct answer to which will earn the first correct responder a $10 Starbucks card:
In the 1991-1992 Club roster (as noted in the handbook), how many active members did the Rancho Cordova Rotary Club have?
Only one response per member allowed and guesses are (obviously) permitted.  Email your answer to PPP Chapman.
Club Prez Celebrates New Son John Chapman 2017-10-03 07:00:00Z 0
Posted on Sep 26, 2017
What a departure ('radical', one might say) from our usual venue.
"Say, Marge, isn't that the Old Spaghetti Factory?"
As advertised, the Club met today at the Old Spaghetti Factory in the Nimbus Winery complex and enjoyed a nice and varied lunch as Club members evaluated the location for future weekly Club meetings.  Since there was no audiovisual support other than microphone, the meeting was somewhat 'bare' by our usual standards, but nevertheless it presented an option that the Club has not explored for some time.  More on that later.
Pick a color, any color...
For $50, pick out the parole officer and the parolee...
Because he recognized that a number of Rotarians are directionally challenged, the greeter, PPP Chapman, met most by the front door and led them back to the back room where the meeting would take place.  Upon entering the room, Rotarians were asked to select their lunch from a 3-option menu, and pick up a corresponding colored tag so that the server could deliver the correct dish.  As folks circulated and moved toward their seats, our server, Mo, came around and took drink orders.  And with that, the meeting took off like Forrest Gump running for the University of Alabama. 
God Bless America
President opened the festivities and asked Bob McBee to lead the Pledge, followed by choirmaster Gary Spainhower conducting God Bless America.  Since we had no slides, the Prez asked if anyone could recite the 4-Way Test from memory and Navin Naik jumped to the challenge and got it all right!  With the introduction of breakfast club member Dru Torvend and visiting  honorary member Pat Murphy, everyone sat down and waited... for the first course of soup or salad to arrive.  (Lesson #1: start the first course early and have it in place at meeting start.)  
Honorary member Pat Murphy
Lunch progressed with diners enjoying either a reuben sandwich, or a salad, or mizithra cheese and brown butter pasta.  Finally, about 12:30, the Prez got up and made some announcements which your reporter was not quick enough to record, but one of them was for the District Foundation Dinner coming up in October and some other stuff too...  For instance, in two weeks District Governor Sandy Sava will be visiting the Club on her annual inspection tour and it is of paramount importance that we have as many members as possible show up for that meeting.  At this point, visitor Dru Torvend from the Sunrise Club invited all of us to a social hour his Club is sponsoring at the Fort Rock Brewing Company right across the hall from the Spaghetti Factory in the Nimbus Winery.  I  lost the date in all the hubbub, but will get it for the interested reader.
Sunrise Club beer specialist Dru Torvend
  Following announcements it was time for the weekly golf ball drawing and this time, Gary Spainhower's number was called and Gary 'took one for the team' and snatched a white ball from the can.  Don't recall the prize, but at this point, as Hilary would say, "What difference does it make?"
"Winning is habit.  Unfortunately, so is losing." - Vince Lombardi
Apparent to all concerned, there was another luncheon going on on the other side of the curtain room divider and it pretty much drowned out much of the rest of the talking at our meeting.  Nevertheless, never one to leave a microphone standing alone, Sergeant Clarence strode to the front of the room and began a fundraising campaign the likes of which this reporter hasn't seen since the Payola scandal that rocked the radio world back in the late 70's...  Having located only Navin with a pin infraction the previous week, the Sarge then turned his attention to the 'happy' dollars haunting the room.  First up was PPP and greeter Chapman who was proud of his Chicago Bears the previous weekend and he chipped in a Takehara to kickstart the collection effort.  Gary Spainhower threw in some moolah and the Sarge promptly abandoned the podium on the basis of the noise level being too high... (I want my Takehara back...)  With that, the Prez resumed his post at stage center and introduced.... Clarence... who retraced his steps and presented the recommendation of the board to consider changing venues from our ancestral home, City Hall, to the Old Spaghetti Factory.  He laid out the pluses and minuses and there ensued a lively discussion about the factors that bore on the subject. 
The big guy either sargerizing or 'splaining...
Pardon my sticking my big nose into the debate, but here is more or less what I gathered from the various discussions that erupted around the room, in 'pro and con' format:
  Financial: The Club pays the City $50 every time we use the meeting room in City Hall (45 meetings a year X $50 = $2250/yr).  In addition, the Club pays our caterers, Dave and Jan, for a minimum of 20 meals a week (and they are undoubtedly not making anything off us) and we are getting an average of about 15 eaters per week.  The Club pays $13.25 each for the average 5 empty places which represents an additional cost of  $2980 (5 empty seats X $13.25 X 45 weeks = $2980)  Taken together, the cost to the Club is just over $5000 per year.  At the Spaghetti Factory, there is no room charge and no minimum and meals price out at almost exactly what we pay West Coast Events.
  Menu:  At City Hall, each meeting has one entree, with fixin's and bottled water.  At Spaghetti Factory each week will feature 3 different entrees, with fixin's and a choice of soft drinks, iced tea or water and it is a served meal rather than a buffet.  As we saw today, members pick the colored slip representing the dish they want, put it at their seat and they get what they want.
  Ambiance: Could be going out on a limb here, but the Spaghetti Factory seems like a nicer venue for our meetings.  City Hall is nice, but institutional; Spaghetti Factory is more user-friendly and could be used for other events, such as Charter Night.
  Financial: There will be some start-up costs; we will need to purchase a tabletop projector and screen to support audiovisual presentations.  We will need to purchase a few stands if we want to keep hanging banners for the meeting, since we cannot hook them on the walls.  There is no 'buyout' required at City Hall; we are week to week for that room we've been using. 
  Location: the Spaghetti Factory is about 5 minutes farther down Hwy 50 than City Hall, depending on which way you're traveling.  For a few it's closer; for a few, not.  
  Noise level: It was quite loud today, with that other group next door.  We have been assured by management that this should be an extremely rare occurrence and we should ordinarily have sole possession of the back of the restaurant, since it is normally closed off for lunch traffic.   
In any event, once the talking died down, Gary Spainhower offered a motion to try out the Spaghetti Factory for 4 months to see how it works out with the proviso that we can always make a different decision if it doesn't.  Seconded by Ross Johnson, the motion went to a vote and carried by a tally of 7 to 6.  With that, Clarence sat down, President Brett reclaimed the podium and pretty much closed the meeting.  The room emptied faster than Usain Bolt on the final leg of the 4 X 100 relay.  Next week's meeting: same place, same time.
Hey! How Did We Get Here? John Chapman 2017-09-26 07:00:00Z 0
Brevity is the soul of wit, so I'll be brief:
Brud, Mike, and Mike's real friend, Don
Greeter: PDG Clarence Parkins (standing in for Mike Passof)
Pledge Leader: PPP Chapman (barely adequate)
God Bless America: Bob McBee (in spite of claiming a sore throat) - nice job
Reading of the 4-Way Test: Dr. Bob Adam (literacy is so important)
Thought for the Day: Something (again) by Aristotle about teaching...
... and the highlight of the day: stand-in Prez for the Day: PPP Chapman (you think you were disappointed?)
Visiting Rotarian Scott Lillibridge with our greeter
In any event, the meeting got off to a more or less normal start with the introduction of Scott Lillibridge, a visiting Rotarian from the new blended Rotary Club of Rocklin Roseville Loomis Sunrise (and there might be a 'Basin' in there somewhere as well) or somesuch.  Good guy.
Secretary Sharon contemplates life at the top...
The meal, as always, was excellent, with pasta and chicken with salad and trimmings and was attended by the fabulous duo of Dave & Jan.
Dave and fabulous Jan
After a suitable interval, the has-been got up and introduced the announcements, the highlights being a reminder about the Foundation Dinner coming up (we have a few seats left.... get your bid in sooner rather than later) and the one not appearing on the PowerPoint: we are having lunch next week at the Spaghetti Factory on Hazel in the Nimbus Winery complex.  DO NOT COME TO CITY HALL NEXT WEEK UNLESS YOU'RE APPLYING FOR A PASSPORT!  If you can make it to the meeting next week, do try to, since we'll be evaluating the restaurant as a potential venue for our Club going forward and we want and need your input on the decision to move or not.
Co-conspirators abound...
With that, it was time for the weekly drawing and this time Bob McBee's number was called by our guest Scott.  Strange that they were sitting next to each other.... hmmmm...  In any event, 'twas all for naught as Bob managed to pull one of those damned white balls from the can, thereby losing his chance to score a $147 payday.  There wasn't a member who didn't feel bad for Bob.... wait, I meant there wasn't member who didn't appreciate Bob taking one for the team.  
"Winning isn't everything; it's the only thing!" - Vince Lombardi
With that, the has-been turned over control of the meeting temporarily to the Sarge for the Day, PDG Clarence, who got to his feet and started some fundraising.   In cahoots with Treasurer Tracy, he began by lambasting an anonymous Rotarian for leaving his drawing ticket at the sign-in table.  When he discovered it was Brud, the Sarge confessed to being about to claim that ticket as the winner if it had been drawn, so no fine was imposed.  There being no pin infractions during the week, the Sarge turned to Happy Dollars and he got a bunch: Chapman threw in a Takehara for 1. his Chicago Bears losing last weekend, 2. his Fighting Illini losing last weekend, and finally 3. Marshall winning last weekend.  Neil Orchard threw in for a nice trip to Lake Almenor,which included a drunken party aboard a party boat on the lake.  Our visitor, Scott Lillibridge, chipped in for his San Diego State Aztecs whomping the Stanford Cardinal over the weekend and then Brud leaped into the fray and commented on the quality of the Club bulletin.  Thank you, Brud.  I could never figure out which member was actually reading it.... it's Brud.
Picture of a Hoosier about to be had...
 Ross MacCarty reveled in the fact that he had been invited to Marvelene Weier's place for Oktoberfest and chipped in.  Ross Johnson then paid for his recent Maui trip.  Suddenly, Mike Passof pissed off just about everyone in the Club by noting that he finally got to sit with one of his real friends, our guest speaker.  He was followed by Clarence who mentioned his alma mater's recent football win over a small orphanage in central Georgia.  About this time, Bob McBee, no doubt feeling the guilt, paid for the fine white golf ball he had scored in the drawing.  Jerry Smuts, not to be denied, threw in for his Hoosiers recent athletic success.  This strains credibility, but Clarence then asked Treasurer Sharon Ewing the whereabouts of Marvelene's new badge and apparently wasn't satisfied with the answer (it's in the mail) so there was more $ for the treasury.  Tracy McLinn paid for her daughter Kim's recent out of the park home run in a recent game, followed by Merlin Mauk pondering the wisdom of going into medicine, when his granddaughter just got hired by Facebook to the tune of $188K per year.  Sorry about your crappy life choices, Merlin.  Finally, the Sarge embarrassed our guest, Scott, by asking the time-honored question about the best Club in the District.  To his credit, Scott gave one of the best answers to this question that this reporter has ever heard, but he paid anyway, and suddenly the hemorrhaging stopped.
Mike introduces Don
Finally, we got to hear our guest speaker and if you were wondering about the propriety of his topic, I can only report that Don Neufeld has a woodie and he even talked about it.  He was introduced by friend and co-conspirator, Mike Passof.  His 1946 Chevrolet woodie was in sad shape when he purchased it from his brother some years ago and decided to restore it.  
Guest speaker Don Neufeld
Steps in the process...
His talk, illustrated by a PowerPoint showing the work he undertook, followed the restoration from start to finish.  This is clearly not a project for the faint of heart as it was expensive and time-consuming.  At the conclusion, he invited the Club out to the parking lot where he unveiled a most remarkable vehicle.  It was obviously a testimony to a lot of grit and determination, particularly given that the vehicle fell on his head at one point in the restoration.  
Nicely done.  Don got to sign the book and the room cleared as if the room was on fire.  In spite of the replacement Prez, 'twas a good meeting. 
Another Almost Perfect Meeting John Chapman 2017-09-19 07:00:00Z 0
Today's meeting: almost perfect.... more on that later.  It all started off with the White team providing the Greeter in the person of Mike Passof, who excelled at his task.
A Greeter and his President...
 The Prez opened the meeting and started right off by finding out if Ross MacCarty could read... the 4-Way Test, another task completed with relish.  Chapman was asked to lead the Pledge and due to his extensive military service, the big guy did not disappoint.  He was followed by Bob McBee leading us in God Bless America and the meeting was off to an almost perfect start... more on that later.  The quote for the day was by Aristotle who said something about education... like, "Those who can't, teach..." although Ari's sentiment may been in another vein entirely.
 In any event, it was off to the lunchtime races and hamburgers were the delectable entrees for the day, prepared by master chef Dave Maestas.
Can you read 'em?  I can't read 'em...
Next on the agenda was the announcing.  You can read most of them here, but the one that did not appear, but was announced orally or verbally by President Brett was that we are going to be meeting in two weeks at the Spaghetti Factory for our lunch.  The purpose of this excursion is to see if it might be a suitable venue for us.  At that meeting we'll be discussing the pros and cons of moving our meeting and evaluating the ambiance, food and service.  
Name the Rotarian... go ahead, I dare ya...
The next item was kind of last-minute, since the winner of last week's inaugural football pool was none other than PP Sean Twilla and he showed up so late that several Rotarians thought he had shown up early for next week's meeting.  Nevertheless, always the gentleman, Clarence presented him with his $30 pool prize, which Sean promptly stuffed in his right shoe.  
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you...
The next thing you know, it was Clarence again striding to the rostrum to propose to the Club that we once again support the enactment that we supported last year, which would allow for a third class of Rotary member, an Associate Membership, which would result in reduced dues and attendance requirements for younger members under the age of 35.  After some discussion, the Club unanimously voted in favor of the enactment, which will wend its way upward through the hierarchy, hopefully ending up at the RI Council on Legislation, which will hopefully get it right this time around.
"Show me a good loser and I'll show you a loser." - Vince Lombardi
The traditional Ray Wyatt drawing took place next and it was President Brett's ticket that got called.  When he found out that the prize was $135, he got all nervous and fidgety and managed to yank a white ball from the can.  Way to go, buddy.
The room eagerly waits to see what comes out of the Sarge's mouth...
Next up was the Sarge and this time it was Chapman (again) who is apparently tag-teaming the event this month with fellow team member Clarence.  In his ruthless, humorless style,aided by bagman Mike Passof,  the big guy opened the proceedings by checking how many times PPPP Paul Schubert had been sans pin during his absence and it was a lot, so Paul dug deep for some moolah.  Then going for the happy dollars, the Sarge opened it up to self-confession and so PP Sean threw in for his final year as a youth soccer coach (although a number of members think his restraining order finally caught up with him...)  Gary Spainhower volunteered that he had taken a road trip on his Harley to the coast a while back a la the 'Wild Hogs."  Tracy contributed to the effort in honor of her daughter's 15th birthday which was today.  By Rotary standards, Tracy is an exemplary parent : you're a good parent if your child survives to 15...  Ross MacCarty threw in a fine-less announcement that his alter ego, Ross Johnson, had called him to report attending some Rotary meetings in Hawaii (Now there's a Rotarian for ya...)  There being only a few bucks in the pot, the Sarge then turned his steely eye towards Tom Redmon who had just returned from a couple of weeks on Maui and Tom threw in a Takehara ($20 bill for the uninitiated...)  There then followed a quiz the likes of which hadn't been seen Ingemar Johanssen flattened Floyd Patterson.  How may cars were destroyed in Houston by Hurricane Harvey?  Mike Passof was close enough (1 in 7!)  How many legal ports of entry are there on the U.S./Mexico border?  Bob McBee didn't know there were 52...  The highest paid NFL player in history?   Matthew Stafford of the Lions ($27 Mil a year for 5 years!)  Remember the 'almost perfect meeting?  Well, the White team had assembled all the pieces for this groundbreaking event only to be foiled by President Brett starting the meeting a minute late, so he paid and we wait...  Maybe next week.  And suddenly, like Hurricane Irma, it was all over...
Speaking of tag teams, Pravin and Navin talk about Indian history
At this point, the Prez invited Navin Naik to come up and introduce his guest speaker and the topic for the afternoons presentation.  Joining Navin onstage was Mr. Pravin Shelat and he and Navin proceeded to deliver a very interesting talk about a historic Indian figure, Chanakya, who lived 2400 years ago and in many ways was the father of modern India.  This remarkable man, a contemporary of Aristotle's, codified much, if not all, of India's laws and wrote on a myriad of topics, including economics, politics, social values, etc.  Arguably a brilliant man, he is rumored to be the inventor of modern chess, which he modeled after observing how wars were carried out.  A highly informative talk; at it's end, Pravin got the book and the room emptied like a bottle of scotch at Ross MacCarty's place. 
The Prez practices his legerdemain at the meeting (That's what we hope he's doing...)
Almost A Perfect Meeting John Chapman 2017-09-12 07:00:00Z 0
I want you all to know how your poor reporter suffers for his craft: having completed the weekly newsletter last night, it suddenly up and disappeared from view, never to return, even though it had been saved several times.  Yeeesh...  This second effort may be a trifle more compact than the original...  
The weekly meeting of the brain trust...
In any event, the White team gofer pretended to be the greeter and was seen almost greeting a few Rotarians.  The meeting got underway with the Prez asking PP Sean to read... the 4 Way Test and the PP did a fine job of it.  Next was PDG Clarence Parkins leading us in the Pledge, a job at which he clearly excels due to his extensive military history.
"Hey, Neil, how's your singing voice?"
 Mike Passof was scheduled to lead the song, but in his absence, Neil Orchard was cornered and did the dirty deed.  Nicely done, I might add.  Among a few guests was Pat Murphy who would later become an important part of the days program.
"Hey, how did he get in here?"
 With that, everyone sat down and began masticating in public to a fine lunch of shredded beef sandwiches and salad and fruit and dessert and water...  Nice job by Chef Dave.
Ever see a Club Prez who didn't love announcing stuff?
Since a Rotary meeting isn't legal unless someone reads some announcements, that was next on the agenda, with the Prez asking members to sign up for the District Foundation dinner on October 28 at the Citrus Heights Community Center.  There are a few seats left and it is something you should experience, particularly if you have never gone.
With the conclusion of the announcing, it was time for the highlight of the day: we got to induct a new member, Marvelene Weier, a retired realtor who lives in far off Elk Grove and who was sponsored by none other than our own Pat Murphy.
The pinning...
 President Brett gave us some background on Marvelene and then asked Pat to pin on her very own Rotary pin.  The Prez then followed up by clipping on her beginner's badge and then gave the stage to Marvelene, who remarked on her background and her hopes in joining our august Club.  Well done and well said.
Then, as is our custom, a drawing broke out and in Ray Wyatt's absence, it was Clarence's turn to have his ticket drawn.  In a bold attempt to screw his fellow cartel partner out of his fair share, the PDG pulled a white ball, thus foregoing the $120 that had accumulated in the drawing till.  Crap...
Vince Lombardi once was quoted as saying, "Show me a good loser and I'll show you a loser."  Get it?
Well, no sooner had Clarence pulled the wrong ball out of the can than it was time for him to go forth and fine his friends and acquaintances, a task he was born to.  Here's the fines:
Pinless: President Brett (see me for the story)
Birthday: Bob McBee, serenaded by the Club chorus led by PPP Chapman
Thank you to Pat Murphy: Brud Dufficy
School is back in session: Tracy McLinn
New Car: Sharon Ewing
Chicago Bears spotless regular season record: Chapman
Return of the football pool: Merlin Mauk
Marshall University all-time low felony record attributed to football team: Clarence
Hawaai trip: PP Sean Twilla
Pregnant daughter: Pat Murphy
Messed up the 'best Club in the District' question: guest speaker Bill Wittich
Happy to be here: Marvelene (even though she was fine-free for the day)
And that was it.
Not one to give up the microphone easliy, Clarence stayed on his feet to introduce our guest speaker for the day, Dr. Bill Wittich from the Laguna Elk Grove Rotary, who came to talk to us today about membership - recruiting and retention.
Dr. Bill Wittich
 He cited some fairly dire stats about the drop in Rotary membership in North America and noted that the average age of Rotarians in our country is 57.  Calling for us to look to a younger (40's) demographic, he talked about the viability of Clubs who aren't bringing in energetic young folks with enthusiasm and ideas.  Not an easy talk to listen to, but it is important and we needed to hear it and your board of directors would like for each of us to take the responsibility of finding new members seriously.
Pick a book, any book...
 At the conclusion of Bill's talk, he got the book and room cleared like a bunch of conservatives an an Antifa rally.  
New Member Onboarded! John Chapman 2017-09-06 07:00:00Z 0
A red letter day for the Rancho Cordova Rotary, yessir.  It all started off innocuously enough, with Chapman almost greeting several of the attendees.  
The weekly meeting of the brain trust
Soon lunch was served and it was very good, with do-it-yourself chipped beef sandwiches, salad and little cakes, presented by our very own Chef Dave.  The Prez called the meeting to order and asked PP Sean if he could read.... the 4 Way Test, which Sean handled with aplomb.  
What's he doing here?
Clarence was tasked with starting the Pledge and the first fly in the ointment arrived when Mike Passof was a no-show but was capably replaced by Neil Orchard who nailed God Bless America.  Guests, we had a few, the one of note at the moment was Pat Murphy, a former member who became part and parcel of the events that were to follow.
Meeting of the minds... so to speak
With a table full of delicious food available, Rotarians began masticating with abandon (in public, no less) and it seemed almost too short a time before the Prez called the assemblage to order.
Read 'em and weep...
 First on the agenda were the inevitable announcements (DON'T FORGET TO SIGN UP FOR FOUNDATION DINNER ON OCTOBER 28!!! DO IT!!!)  And then suddenly it was time for the highlight of the meeting:  President Brett asked Marvelene Weier to come to the front of the room along with her sponsor, Pat Murphy, and performed a very nice induction.
The pinning
 At the conclusion, Pat pinned Marvelene and the Prez slapped a 'starter' Rotary badge on her.  Marvelene reflected on her history, in particular her interest in community service organizations and then sat down to wild applause.  Welcome to the Rancho Cordova Rotary, Marvelene.
Next came the weekly drawing and this time it was PDG Clarence's ticket that was called and true to Marshall University tradition, he promptly flubbed the follow-through, negating his chance at the $120 payoff he would have split with his cohort PPP Chapman.  
Having palmed the orange ball, Tracy seems almost jubilant...
With that debacle out of the way, the PDG regained the stage  and took over as Sarge for the day.  Fines, there were a few... it turned out that our very own president did not have his pin on (even though he came in with one) so he paid.  When the Sarge noted that it was Bob McBee's birthday month, he asked the lone Chicago Bears fan in the crowd to lead the song, and it followed it's usual discordant path to completion.  Brud forked over a few bucks to thank Pat Murphy for being our go-to B Street chair.  Tracy handed over some moolah for school being back in session ( I guess this means no more trips to East Bejeezus for softball tournaments for a while, eh, Tracy?) and then Sharon confessed to getting a new car and paid (it's a nice one...).  
The Sarge's motto: "I'm not happy unless you're not happy..."
Your poor editor paid for the spotless regular season record currently enjoyed by his hometown Chicago Bears  and then Merlin Mauk applauded the return of the weekly football pool, which has become a fairly significant part of his disposable income .  The Sarge himself said something nice about the Marshall U.  debate team and then Sean, feeling the heat, fessed up to a nice trip to Maui and paid.  Pat Murphy, in a surprise move, stood up and boasted about her recently married daughter now being pregnant and so she chipped in.  Our guest speaker, Bill Wittich from the Laguna Sunrise Rotary failed the traditional  'best club in the district' question, but before he could pony up the dough, the Prez threw in for him.  What a guy...  Finally, Marvelene, even though she was advised she was fine-free for the day, insisted on throwing some cash into the pot and suddenly, that was it.  
Clarence remained standing because his role was changing and the next item on the agenda was the introduction of our guest speaker, Dr. Bill Wittich from the Laguna Elk Grove Rotary Club.  
Dr Bill Wittich
Bill's topic, as it often is, was membership, both recruiting and retention.  He cited some fairly dire statistics about Rotary in North American and went on to discuss how to turn around the trend  in declining club membership rolls.  Did you know that the average age of Rotarians in North America is 57?  He emphasized how it is all of our jobs to be looking for potential members for our Club.  It was not a 'happy talk' but it brought a very large issue to our attention and it is your board's hope that each of us will take the message to heart and begin asking acquaintances to come to Rotary.  Good talk and it concluded with the Prez offering Bill a choice of books to give away to our public library.
Pick a book, any book...
  With that, Rotarians scattered like conservatives at an Antifa rally.  Good meeting.
NEXT WEEK'S SPEAKERS: Mr. Pravin Shelat and Navin Naik, speaking on India's most revered legendary figure, Chanakya
It Seemed Like a Normal Meeting... John Chapman 2017-09-05 07:00:00Z 0
This will be short, because I'm tired and still have to put my underpants away...  Okay, now that we've set the tone, let's talk specifics:
The Club forms up...
Greeter: Ross Johnson
Pledge: Bob McBee
God Bless America:  Merlin Mauk passed off to Gary Spainhower (nice job, Gary)
Thought for the Day: Something about not giving a hoot by Andy Warhol
Weekly Reading of the 4-Way Test: Chapman (mostly correct... about 75%... his mind has a definite tendency to wander...)
Good food by Dave and Jan: enchiladas w/refried beans and cake and salad... very nice
Craig Stevenson from South Sac
Kumaraswamy (Siva) Sivakumaran from West Sacramento
Announcements: have a gander, but don't forget the most important: this Saturday is 'Cards for a Cause' Texas Hold 'Em and we need players!!!  Round up some friends and come on over; I promise you it will be fun.
Read 'em and weep...
Unscheduled announcement by PDG Clarence:  We have reserved a table for 8 for the Foundation Dinner, this year to be held at Citrus Heights City Hall on October 28.  Cost is $65 per person but this is the one big event in our Rotary District every year that highlights our Club and the great job we've done in supporting the Rotary Foundation.  A signup is going around and you should seriously consider going to this event.  Every Rancho Cordova Rotarian who signs up and goes will get either a free car wash from PDG Clarence or a hearty handshake from an as yet un-named big shot.
The drawing turned out to be a new experience for many of us: President Brett had his number drawn by our visitor Siva and even though it wasn't his first rodeo, he still managed to yank a white ball, forgoing the $24 grand prize.  This writer wonders if it may be appropriate to rename the weekly event in honor of the Prez and retire Ray Wyatt from the pressure-filled cauldron that is the weekly drawing.
The Sarge today was none other than Ross Johnson, even though Ross MacCarty's name was on the slide ("Crap, there goes another perfect meeting...")  When the Sarge found out that our guest from West Sac, Siva Kumaraswamy was a lawyer from West Virginia, he naturally turned his attention to our other West Virginian, PDG Clarence, who got nicked for the concidence.  Next on the docket was President Brett, who paid just on general principles, as best I could figure out.  I think everyone was then surprised to learn that Brud's daughter is a bench presser and so Brud paid.  The Sarge his very own self then chipped in for the current national ranking of #1 enjoyed by his Alabama football team; it's true college football fans, Alabama hasn't lost a game this year...(Sheeezzzz...)  Chapman paid for his Chicago Bears (I think) and then Ross MacCarty and Gary Spainhower got tagged for talking during the meeting.  Bob Adam forked over some cash for a recent trip to Marysville (really?)  Suddenly Navin jumped into the fray and volunteered that he was coming back to talk again in Sept, so he paid.  Neil is looking forward to the poker tournament and so chipped in some early money.  The conversation then took a strange turn and we got involved in a discussion of pickle popsicles and the guilty party was none other than Treasurer Tracy McLinn who coontributed.  Finally, Pat Orelli threw down some coin to celebrate not wearing his Rotary pin and also the success of wife Carol's recent back surgery.  And that, as they say, was that...
Guest speaker for the day was none other than the ever popular Ross MacCarty who delivered a riveting discussion of the mortgage business.  He delved into the recent history and wild swings in mortgage lending policy and how some very smart people were able to take advantage of the shift in regulation and make a buttload of money doing it.
 He talked about the problem facing the high income/low asset couples who are trying to qualify for a mortgage these days and showed how we got to this state of affairs.  For those of us who don't have much of an understanding of how mortgages work, this was a most enlightening explanation.  After a few questions from audience at the end, the meeting broke up and reformed on the stairwell to have the annual Club picture taken by guest Craig Stevenson.  Lookin' good, folks.  Good meeting.
NEXT WEEK ON THE AGENDA:  Next week's speaker is going to be Shelly Blanchard, the Grand Exalted High Poobah of the Cordova Community Council,
Next week
whose topic will be "Making Rancho Cordova Great Again."  Do not miss it. 
If You Don't Like Mortgages, Turn Your Head Away... John Chapman 2017-08-22 07:00:00Z 0
As meetings go, this wasn't the worst... in fact it finished well into the top half.  The perfect meeting continued to elude us, but we were off to a good start  with Brud Dufficy warmly greeting members and guests alike at the door.  It was only when the nominated Merlin Mauk didn't show up for the Pledge, that the duty was handed off to Conrade Mayer, who, in spite of the short notice, did a fine job of it.  Ross Johnson was the named song leader and he was, coincidentally, the actual song leader.  Nice job.  The quote of the day was from the famed theologian, Rabindranath Tagore who apparently said something about service.  Well said, Rabi (as his friends call him.)  Neil Orchard was selected at random (or simply found himself in the President's field of view) to read the 4-Way Test from the screen, and except for the occasional slip of the tongue, he did a mighty fine job.
Overeaters Anonymous
Then it was on to victuals presented by our favorite team of Jan & Dave and it was pork tenderloin with trimmings and a nice salad that tasted delicious.  
Jan and Dave
Announcement, yes there were a few:
     1. Don't forget to use Smile.Amazon.com for your purchases
     2. Don't forget the Foundation Seminar in Citrus Heights this Saturday
     3. Don't forget to come out for our Cards for a Cause Texas Hold 'Em fundraiser on the 26th right here in City Hall.  Tracy has tickets
     4. Don't forget the District Picnic the following day at Discovery Park for only $7 a pop
     5. Don't forget that on the 29th we will be graced by the presence of the Grand Exalted High Poobah of the Community Council, Shelley Blanchard who will talk to us about the Council (we are members, in case you didn't know)
The President having lunch with all of his friends...
About this time there was a brief kerfuffle when the President presented Neil Orchard with his own stapler, which Neil had thoughtfully (read inadvertently) donated to B&J Body Shop following the 4th of July parade prep.
Neil and his trusty stapler...
Following that presentation, PP Sean was called forward and presented with his Past President's badge to augment the Past President's pin he received at Demotion.  Yes, friends, it's official: Sean is a has-been.
"Here's your badge.  You're now officially a has-been."
Next came the weekly drawing and since Mike Passof had ripped off the Club the previous week, the prize re-started at $12.  Most would consider this a yawner, but when Marvelelne Weier picked Bob Adam's number from the basket, there was a palpably exciting mood circulating the room.  Bob managed to snag a white ball and the Club blood pressure returned to normal.
Marvelene draws a ticket from Tracy...
...and Bob hoses it up...
Ross MacCarty had been selected (read 'railroaded') by the regular Sarge Ross Johnson to stand in as Sarge today and even on short notice it became apparent why the guy gets called on so often.  Rising to the challenge and the podium, Sergeant Ross started off with pin and badge infractions and managed to snare Ray Wyatt and PP Sean in his net.  Next, he went back to Ray and complimented him on his 'new' hat for a coupla bucks and just as Ray was about to put away his wallet,the Sarge then nicked him for being late to the meeting.  Whew... A guy can't even break wind anymore without someone making a federal case out of it.
The Sarge puts on his game face...
 The Sarge then tried to catch Gary Spainhower unawares, but Gary had just purchased a handful of Cards for a Cause tickets and made the case that he was fine-free and it stood up.  Mike Passof was then accused of repairing a Rotarian's car, but claimed ignorance (a time-honored defense amongst Rotarians) and was let off the hook.  Navin threw in a few shillings for something your reporter couldn't quite make out and then Ross Johnson contributed for his grandson, Jay, playing lacrosse at St John Vianney and having hormones.  Finally, President Brett threw down some pesos for some transgression which wasn't discernible from the back pews and that was it.  Game over.
With that, we got to the meat of the meeting, our guest speaker, Navin Naik, whose topic was India, his birthplace.  Since arriving in the United States back in the 70's Navin has made 10 trips back to his native country and wanted to talk to the Club about the people, culture and heritage of India.    The largest democracy in the world, India is represented by over 20 dialects.
Guest speaker Navin Naik
 This diverse culture predominantly practices Hinduism, but unlike a number of other eastern cultures, it does not ask it's adherents to adopt a common theology in terms of religious practice and beliefs.  There are a multitude of Hindu sects and each is considered as  representative of the faith as any other.  All in all, it was a very enlightening  presentation and we all went away with a deeper understanding and appreciation of the Indian way of life.  Well done, Navin.
Action shot of the President almost presenting the speaker with the traditional library book
With that, the president released everyone on their own recognizance and Rotarians cleared the room as if the Hindenberg had just entered City Hall airspace.  Good meeting.
Rotarian Ross MacCarty will be speaking next week on a topic your reporter was unable to unearth, but is likely to be interesting nevertheless.
Who Doesn't Like Pork Tenderloin? John Chapman 2017-08-15 07:00:00Z 0
Well, as perfect meetings go, this was a close one.  Navin was advertised as the Greeter and he actually showed up, as did our Pledge leader, Ross Johnson.  Then things began to slip a trifle when Ross MacCarty didn't show up to lead the song, but he was capably replaced by Mike Passof who got the words right and everything.  The quote of the day was from that famous American, Dolly Parton, who once said, "Some people think I'm a dumb blonde, but they're dead wrong.  I'm not dumb and I'm not a blonde."  Well said, sister.
If you value your life, stand aside...
Lunch today was a delectable combination of potato salad and ham sandwiches, made to order.  Throw in a coupla trimmin's and you've got yourself a meal.  The mastication derby progressed as usual and suddenly it was time for some announcements.  If you were asleep, can't read or were not in attendance, here they are for your edification:
1. Don't forget to buy your crap from Smile.Amazon.com.  The Club foundation gets .5% of everything you buy in the form of... well, some form.
2. If you're going to IPOTS (Interact Presidents and Officers Training) don't forget August 12.
The Prez shows the 4-Way Test
3. District Foundation Seminar is on August 19 at the Citrus Heights Community Center from 9:00 to noon.  You should go.
4. August 26 marks 'Cards for a Cause', our Texas Hold 'Em fundraiser.  A Smuts ($50) gets you a seat at a table and the opportunity to walk away rich (figuratively).  It turns out that President Brett has tickets, as does Melody at Community Council.  You should go.
Is there anyone who doesn't feel good coming through the door to Rotary?  Anyone?
5. The following day, Aug 27 is the District picnic at Discovery Park for a nominal $7 entry fee.  You can go.
6. Not zackly an announcement, Ross Johnson produced a copy of the Gold River Herald Tribune (or whatever) that showed an ongoing project at the Hagan Park Petting Zoo and mentioned our Club's involvement in getting it and donating it to the park.
"No white hair?  Go sit somewhere else!"
7. Even less of an announcement, next up was PDG Clarence who touted the RI Benefactor program.  About half the Club are already benefactors; you don't want people calling you a wimp for not being one, do you?  See Clarence.
That was it for announcements and preliminaries, so it was on to the weekly Ray Wyatt Memorial Drawing.  One of our two guest speakers, Aaron Scarborough from Cordova High drew Mike Passof's number and wouldn't you know it, Mike made off with the $93 pot!  This reporter overheard a couple of disgruntled members talking about seeing Mike in the parking lot after the meeting.
Aaron reads Mike's number...
Oh crap... I mean 'Congratulations, Mike'...
 I'd hate to think what a couple of gruntled members might have said about it.  I understand that having your gruntle removed is not only painful, but embarrassing. 
With that little disappointment out of the way, it was time for the weekly Sarge's Session, highlighted by our own lovable Ross Johnson, who mercilessly made Merlin Mauk pay for both a birthday and an anniversary this month.  Merlin fessed up to turning 89 and celebrating 64 years of wedded bliss.  Wow.  
Ross, the Merciless, plunders at will...
Ross paid for Sandy's recent baking championship victories in the... uhhhh... baking division.  Pat Orelli remarked on his wife Carole's recently successful back surgery, and then Clarence contributed for his phone running amok during the meeting.  Mike Passof, who is now officially entered in the Mother Teresa  look-alike contest, donated just about all of his winnings to the Club Foundation and also paid for his recent trip to New Yawk.
The Over-the-Hill Gang talking medication...
 Navin went to Mt Shasta and Jerry Smuts' godson is being honored by admission to the R.C. Lancers Hall of Fame for his golfing exploits while in school here.  Grandpa Jerry took full credit for his superlative game.  Conrade then forked over some kind of change in anticipation of school starting up again in a few days.  Finally President Brett chipped in to the pot for his phone blowing up at work.  Not to be outdone, as he was regaining his seat, Ross mentioned that the Ross Johnson Jazz Band is playing at Carmichael Park on August 27.  You should go.
Last but not least on the weekly agenda was the introduction of two CHS students, Paris Bana and Aaron Scarborough, who recently attended RYLA up in Portola.  Introduced by Conrade Mayer, Paris opened the presentation by describing the the trusting relationships she had developed with people she hardly knew and told how it changed her entire outlook on life and relationships.  
Paris Bana, CHS Interact
Aaron Scarborough, Mentees at Cordova High (MACH)
Next up, Aaron spoke about the challenges encountered at RYLA and how surprised he was at the enthusiasm and commitment shown by the counselors at the camp.  In this humble writer's opinion, RYLA is one of the best things our Club does for the youth of our community and I am amazed that there are Clubs in our District who don't participate by sending kids to this marvelous camp.  In any event, that wrapped up a mighty fine meeting and everyone headed for the door as if the North Koreans had picked out City Hall as an aiming point. 
We Still Have the 4-Way Test... John Chapman 2017-08-08 07:00:00Z 0
Apologies to you faithful readers who have missed the last few issues of the bulletin.  There is a very good reason: we didn't print one.
The miscreants gather...
 Your intrepid reporter is back at long last from a summer vacation and has only now buckled down to the task of recording the events of our beloved Rotary Club.  Under the leadership of our new President, Brett Schreiner, the meeting got off to a rollicking start with Steve Forseth greeting, Ray Wyatt pledging and Chapman singing (if that's what you call it...)  We settled down to a nice repast of chicken salad with trimmings and were only rudely interrupted when PDG Clarence waltzed to the front of the room in a most cavalier fashion and began embarrassing Chapman with the presentation of his Rotary Foundation Major Donor Award.
This is what you call your big presentation...
 Later, in a pensive moment, the big guy was heard to remark, "Jeez, all you do is throw $85 a month their way and the next thing you know, you're more or less a big shot."  This reporter falls on the 'less' side of the argument.  Anyway, nicely done.
  Next we had some announcements, but needing a new prescription, your reporter didn't catch all of them.  With the conclusion of the announcing, it was time for the weekly Ray Wyatt drawing and this time it was Dr. Bob Adam whose number was drawn and Bob in that patriotic manner he has, left the $65 to grow another week so that Ray can have a fair chance at it.
This is referred to as "Going for it..."
This is referred to as, "Hey, look!  Bob's got a white ball!"...
  Naturally in our traditional meeting format, it was time for the Sarge and this week did not disappoint.  PDG Clarence got up and began the session by asking about pin and badge infractions and it was none other than President Brett who had to cough up a few drachmas for the offense.
The Club's power elite observe from the balcony...
 When Clarence noted that it was Steve Forseth's birthday month, Steve paid extra to avoid the song.  (Way to go Steve; we were not in good tune today)  Next it was Pat Orelli donating to cover his recent Hawaiian vacation, followed by Treasurer Tracy McLinn noting that she was headed to Tennessee (yes, on purpose) for a baseball tournament featuring her daughter and her team.  Good luck, Mom.  
Even Merlin was paying attention...
Hard to imagine that a Sergeant would fine a guy who he had just recognized for donating 10 big ones to the Rotary Foundation, but Clarence never met a wallet he didn't want to see the inside of, so naturally he zoomed in on Chapman for a recent trip out of town where he was busy opening up an orphanage and finding a cure for cancer.  Yeeeesh...  
New President at work under the watchful eye of the 'has been"
Finally, Navin chipped into the pot for missing a recent board meeting (is that 'board' or 'bored'?)  and it turned out that Brett had given him the wrong time or date or place or...  In any event, that was it; game over.
  As the room breathed a collective sigh of relief, the Prez revealed that our guest speaker had not shown up, so he looked in PP Sean's direction and said, "How about it?"  
Sporting his new facial tattoo, the Past Prez delivered a good talk...
Still feeling guilty about the big haul he had received at Demotion, the PP responded in the affirmative and delivered a terrific talk on the state of water in the State of California.  After revealing how he come to the water business, he went on to talk about how the various water districts coordinate water delivery, how the state has mandated water meters for everyone, and even delved into the topic of fluoridation.  It was a very informative talk and no one left early.  Nicely done.  Good meeting. 
We've Got the 4-Way Test! 2017-07-26 07:00:00Z 0
It was the best of times, it was the... well, let's just leave it at that.  On Saturday at the home of Clarence Parkins, the Club gathered around the Club President and ate a fine pot luck as the Prez was ridden out of town on the proverbial rail, tar and feathers flying.  
Our gracious host...
The event was highlighted by some fine victuals provided by the attendees.  Neil Orchard had barbecued his excellent chicken piccata and the buffet was overloaded with good-tasting stuff.  Adult beverages were in evidence, primarily because  spouses and significant others were in attendance and that brought the 'adult ratio' into the acceptable range.  Ladies, you may note with some alarm that we're not allowed this sort of beverage when we're on our own on Tuesdays due the history of fights breaking out and furniture being damaged.  The past Prez called the meeting to order and spent a few brief minutes recounting some of the records set by the Club this past year (52 weeks without a meeting starting on time is one that comes too mind...), but then introduced a special song written by Beth Walter for the occasion, which the Prez was required to sing out loud before the meeting could proceed.  
The Club's think tank debates the merits of high vs low heat...
At the conclusion of the singing, the past Prez handed Sean a special gift basket which was also provided by Beth Walter, which had a number of items sure to help the Prez perform his family duties.  At that point, the Past Prez suddenly lapsed into a rare serious moment when he actually complimented President Sean for his courage in undertaking the job and his dedication to making the Club successful.
People enjoying themselves (#1)
Interesting conversations abounded
Scene from the dining room

The head of the buffet
This signaled the beginning of the giveaway phase of the event.  First off, the Past Prez invited President in Waiting Brett Schreiner to the front to accept the Club President's pin.  This was quickly followed by asking President Sean to return to the floor and get his Past President's pin and his plaque.  At this point, our newest has-been invited the various members of his board to come up and take home a nice memento of their service to the Club.  The pictures tell the story better than this poor writer.   
Brett gets pinned
Sean gets pinned
What a swell plaque
Board member Attaboy #1
#4 and the passing of the torch
It's Not Over Until the Fat Lady (or Sean) Sings... 2017-06-26 07:00:00Z 0
Believe it or not, there were not one, not two, but three Rotary meetings today and I'm going to tell you a little about each one, but just the interesting stuff...  First on the day's calendar was the 11:00 A.M. meeting of the Club Foundation Board.  The dull stuff was mostly the recap of the year's events and how the Foundation made us all look good, funding scholarships, baby food for needy families, B Street Theater workshops and a few other notable projects.  This includes the new Hometown Hero Grant program, which saw us present the Sac Valley Live Steamers with a check for $3500 a short while ago to help fund a badly needed tractor for their organization.
Foundation Board Members all staying awake simultaneously
 With the receipt of $7500 from the Rancho Cordova Community Golf Classic, the Foundation will hold total assets in the neighborhood of $130,000.  If you've not been to a Club Foundation board meeting, I encourage you to go to one.  They occur quarterly and are normally held on a Tuesday morning/afternoon at City Hall prior to or following the regular weekly Rotary meeting.  Chase Armer got re-elected to another 3-year term as Foundation President and Brud Dufficy is the Secretary and Paul Schubert is Treasurer.  Various and sundry other past presidents, etc are members and at this meeting Tom Redmon became a de facto board member, due to his new status as President Elect of the Rotary Club in a few weeks.

Well, so much for meeting #1; it was on to the penultimate meeting for our very own President Sean and he did not disappoint.  Ray Wyatt was the scheduled greeter, but Bob Adam graciously took his place and did a fine job.  Brett was scheduled to lead the Pledge and Brett did a fine job.  Ross Johnson, who is away seeing his son Mark whip his combat aviation brigade into shape couldn't lead the song as he was scheduled, so Brett stepped forward once again into the breach and did a fine job.
Notice how some board members never even left their seat?
 Fine jobs all around.  Lunch turned out to be a very tasty chicken and rice dish with salad and fruit and chocolate chip cookies and your reporter was observed going back for seconds...  Nuff said...
Delicious grub...
If you want another view of this group, look in the dictionary under 'cabal'...
You know what comes next... yes, announcements.  With only one meeting left on his watch, the President managed to fill the screen with stuff.  First was a reminder about Demotion, which will be at Clarence Parkins' house on Saturday, June 24 and is a potluck that will run from about 1:00 P.M. to about 4:00 P.M.  Chapman is nailing down the guest list and agenda.  July 3 will be the day/afternoon that we decorate the Club float for the 4th of July Parade and that decoration will take place in the traditional location, B&J Body Shop, courtesy of Mike Passof.  A signup is going around.  August 26 will see us co-hosting our next Texas Hold 'Em with Community Council and the Cordova Lancers Leaders & Legends.  We need everyone to be involved in this fundraiser in some capacity.
That was about it for announcing, but the Prez shocked everyone by holding up the giant $7500 check presented to the Club Foundation by Julie Belka, our take from the recent charity golf tournament she instigated.
If you've never seen this much money, here's what $7500 looks like...
With that, it was time for the drawing and with Ray Wyatt absent, spirits soared.  Tracy McLinn pulled the number and it belonged to Paul Schubert and the rascal managed to yank the orange ball from the can, thereby garnering a $110 payday.  Needless to say, there was great excitement rippling around the room, accompanied by comments such as, "Is he still a member?" and "True happiness doesn't come from money, but it's a close neighbor..."
Digging, digging...
"Eureka!  I'm rich!  Rich, I tell you!!!"
With the regular Sarge absent, President Sean asked if anyone wanted to step up.... you know... volunteer... to come up and piss off their fellow members.  Failing in this, he fell back on a time-honored tactic: he auctioned off the prize package that Chase Armer and his team won at the golf tournament, which included some moderately nice crap.  The fierce bidding war that ensued saw Paul Schubert, still feeling guilty about his win in the drawing, outbidding Conrade Mayer at the $45 level to take home the bacon, I mean moderately nice crap.
Today would be the last Club Assembly of the Rotary year and we spent the bulk of it recapping our successes and failures during the year.  Chapman opened the bidding by confessing that his goal for membership came up short on execution.  Club Secretary Tracy summarized our membership at 27, with two to drop off at the year end due to the loss of Anthony Chacon and more recently Melody Mayer, who we are very sad to see leave the Club.  Pat Orelli summarized our financial situation as being somewhat better than Somalia's and then Brud got up as Services chair and hit the high points on our fundraisers and projects.  Tom Redmon recapped Public Relations with some recommendations for next year  and he was followed by PE Brett Schreiner talking about some changes in Club operation going forward, not the least of which is that the teams will be responsible for speakers during their months in charge, a practice we employed with some success some years back.  There was considerable discussion on a number of topics, including attendance, and the meeting finally ran down about 1:45.  Good, informative meeting.

Finally, following the lunch meeting, the old and new melded Club boards met to look at last year and then hear from President-Elect Brett on his plans for the coming Rotary year.
"I'm excited, Pat, how about you?"
 Here's the new lineup for next year:
President - Brett Schreiner
Treasurer - Tracy McLinn
Secretary - Sharon Ewing
Membership Chair - Sean Twilla
Club Administration - Tom Redmon
Projects/Service Chair - Open
Public Relations - Paul Schubert
Youth & Vocational Chair - Conrade Mayer
Foundation Chair - Clarence Parkins
Apparently Tom's deodorant wore out before his welcome...
Brett said his focus for next year is going to be on three main areas: Fun, Membership and Identity and he described his vision for our Club  in very optimistic tones.  Should be a good year...
Busy Rotary Day 2017-06-13 07:00:00Z 0
We gathered, as we are wont to do, at venerable City Hall for victuals and fellowship and, surprise of surprises, our guest speaker was a very knowledgeable lady who talked about the NFL!  More on that later.  
"So there I was at 30,000 feet with a knife to my throat..."
The prelims:  Greeter was scheduled to be Chapman and he was actually observed handing out a badge or two to a few members for a while.  Ross MacCarty was scheduled to lead the Pledge, but Brett Schreiner got to do it because Ross wasn't here.  God Bless America was supposed to go to Bob McBee, but Bob, also a no-show, must have delegated the task to Conrade Mayer who did a pretty good job at it.
Who isn't totally delighted when Pat Murphy comes to a meeting?
 We had one technical guest, Pat Murphy, who had invited prospective member, Marvelene Weier to the meeting and Marvelene arrived after the meeting had begun.
"We don't talk anymore..."
Grub was some delicious roast beef and several folks were observed making sandwiches out of it.  Yum.  
Food always tastes better if you think it's not coming...
Then as we have gotten into the habit, we got to enjoy some announcements, but here are the important ones:  1. Demotion is on the 24th at 1:00 P.M. at Clarence Parkins' place in Gold River.  A signup went around but some folks haven't responded to the RSVP yet, and since it's going to be a potluck, we'd ask attendees to bring a dish.  Contact Chapman if you need guidance.  2. August 26 marks the date of our next Texas Hold 'Em tournament, called 'Cards for a Cause' and we are partnering with Community Council on this.  Don't miss it!  If you're not going to play, how about volunteering to come and work the event.
Since the announcing began to fade shortly due to the short tenure of the current administration, we turned to the weekly Ray Wyatt Memorial Ball Drawing and Disappointment Sweepstakes.  Even though Ray was in the crowd, it was Conrade Mayer who finally looked at his ticket and claimed the right to embarrass himself by pulling one of those dratted white balls from the can, a task at which Conrade excelled today, to the consternation of everyone except Ray.  I'm sure the $98 will multiply for next weeks event.
"You know where I think you should stick this ball?"
Wrapping up the foreplay, it was time for Sergeant Ross Johnson to come up and extract some hard-earned moolah from the throng.  The technique he used is one of the oldest in the books: he asked questions about WWII, a topic that probably held dear memories for some of our senior members.  (I wasn't talking about you, Merlin...)  The following folks failed to answer even one question about the conflict: Brud Dufficy, Chapman, Gary Spainhower, Paul Schubert, Tom Redmon, Bob Adam (or were you a WWI guy, Bob?), Chase Armer Conrade Mayer, and finally Sean Twilla who didn't know that WWII smelled like vomit.  Then some members remarked on their pride: Tracy McLinn for her eldest son graduating from Sac State; Sergeant Ross was proud to remind us that his son, Mark, is about to take command of the Army's 3rd Combat Aviation Brigade; Ray Wyatt paid for his wife, Kelly (Let me be clear: I don't think Ray actually paid for Kelly in that sense... I believe she did something memorable, which your reporter will not speculate on in this venue...); Sean admitted to being pinless the day prior, but not being ratted out by Paul and finally our friend and former member, Pat Murphy just threw in some happy $.  Good show.
In the dictionary, under 'confab', there's this picture... (Editor's note: pay no attention to the lady in red; she's 'embarrassment free' for the day)
Next and last on the agenda was our guest speaker and the weekly flailing at the audiovisual system.  She was a delightful lady, Dr. Kristine Setting Clark, whose background in athletics and her connection to NoCal professional athletics made her a unique observer of the state of sports in the 'old days' and today.  She has written several books on such diverse topics as the U.S.F. 1951 football team and the adversity they had to overcome in becoming probably the
Dr. Kristine Setting Clark
best, yet unheard of, college football team in the country.  As a result of an encounter with an ex-member of the Oakland Raiders, she has written a book entitled 'Cheating is Encouraged: the Story of the Oakland Raiders'.
While President Sean took remedial A/V classes during her talk, she regaled the crowd with anecdotes about the 'take any advantage' mentality of the pro game back in the 50's, 60's and 70's.  It was very informative if you follow football and at the end, she and her husband Mark brought a few books for sale.  Good talk, good meeting. the Prez handed her a book for the library and the room then cleared as if Arianna Grande was on her way in.
Good grub, good speaker
'Twas a Good Day for a Meeting... 2017-06-06 07:00:00Z 0
Dear Reader,
  This will be a trifle longer than your 'normal' bulletin because we have a lot to cover.  First item on the agenda: Demotion.  It's going to be on June 24th at Clarence Parkins' house in Gold River and the gala will commence at 1:00 P.M.  It's gonna be a potluck, with members bringing side dishes and the Club providing the barbecue and beverages.  So far, here's who's signed up and what they have volunteered to bring with them:
NameVegetable DishSaladDessert
Adam (2)X  
Chapman (2) X 
Dufficy (2) X 
M.G. Mayer   
Johnson (2)  X
MacCarty (1)   
Mauk (2)   
Mayer (1 or 2)   
Orchard (2)   
Orelli (?)X  
Parkins (2)   
Redmon (2)   
Twilla (6)  X
As you can see, the food offerings are, at the moment, better suited to dieters, but if you can come to this momentous event, contact the chairperson, Big John, to let him know how many of you will be coming.  If you can bring a dish, let him know as well.  Your author apologizes for the  funky looking table above...  This newsletter software is ... cranky...

Enough for topic #1; next is coverage of our recent victory at B Street Theater, which took place last Saturday.  Here are the pics:
B Street Theater: If you  haven't been, you should go...
Proud moms and dads and teachers watching their children's plays
Even Rotarians showed up...
The acting company in full plumage
Who'll be the first to name the chow hound?
Councilwoman Linda Budge gets some well-deserved praise...
...as do the prancing twins from Golden State Water...
Recognition and thanks go our donors, and...
... the two Rotarians who put this project together and made it so successful.
Thanks go to our sponsors, and in particular to project heads Brud Dufficy and Pat Murphy who have made a huge contribution to the education of an under-served
cohort of our population.  You guys make Rotary look good.

Oh yeah, we had a meeting today.  It was a more-or-less normal meeting with not many things going right, but the food was good and the speaker was very interesting.  There being no visible greeter at the door, we all thanked our lucky stars that we didn't have any guests other than our guest speaker and her boss.  When it was time for the Pledge, Conrade Mayer stepped in for the absent Steve Forseth and got us going.  Just as it was time for God Bless America, the songleader, Tom Redmon, appeared at the door and charged right into an almost tolerable version.
Singing is not our forte, nor is looking good...
"All together now...."
"Hey, I've got an idea...let's announce some stuff..."
Lunch today was some tasty DIY sandwiches, brought to us by the fabulous Jan.  Conversation started and, of course, was totally disrupted when the Prez went after some of his favorite announcements.  One timely one: Kinney H.S. Graduation Night is tomorrow (May 24) at Mitchell Middle School and as many of you as possible are encouraged to attend.  Ross Johnson mentioned that on Memorial Day next Monday, there will be a Veterans' ceremony at Mather at 10:00 A.M.  Go if you can.  We're dark next week, due to Veterans' Day.  Finally, we have scheduled our fall (sort of) Texas Hold 'Em poker tournament for August 26 in City Hall and we're partnering with some other organizations, so be sure to get out there and sell tickets ($50 ea) to all the poker players you know.  The theme is Cards for a Cause.
Your reporter got tired at this point and quit listening, so the next thing he recalls is that there was the weekly Ray Wyatt Charitable White Golf Ball Drawing and this week it fell to your erstwhile reporter to bump up the pot for Ray who stated that it's not worth his while to take the money until it's well up in the 3 figures.
With that, it was the time for final appearance of Sergeant Chapman for the year and so the big guy walked up to the front of the room and made everyone nervous.  No pin or badge infractions and things were looking bleak in Mudville.  Could the mighty Casey strike out?  Luckily, Tom Redmon and Ray Wyatt (two lawyers... go figure...) were late to the meeting and so started the avalanche of money into the pot.  Ross Johnson had borrowed a Jackson from one of his foursome at the Cordova Golf Tournament a few weeks before and had conveniently forgotten about it; the bad news was that he had borrowed it from the Sarge...  The Prez was called on the carpet for starting the meeting late and for covering up the Rotary wheel on his meeting slides.  Shame, shame... when are we gonna get rid of the guy? (Yes, June 24... see above)  Tom Redmon apparently threw in more moolah for a friend of his winning the hole-in-one Mercedes at a charity golf tournament recently (I've never known anyone win on one of those deals...)    Neil paid for granddaughter Amber and her baseball team going to the NCAA final tournament,and then Ray paid for being proud of Brud for giving up sugar, which Brud apparently donates to the Twilla children.  Tom also noted that his 2 year old granddaughter is about to no longer be the youngest in the family.  Congrats, Tom.  Ross Johnson, not to be outdone, leaped to his feet and forked over even more lucre in honor of his grandson being a first-rate lacrosse player.  (Is lacrosse that sport where you have to chug a beer before advancing to the next base?)  Finally, Conrade raided his wallet remarking something about Mike Passof, which went unheard by your reporter.  That was it: game over.
Guest speaker Wendy Kadon
At that moment, the Prez regained the rostrum and introduced our guest speaker, Wendy Kadon, from Sierra Donor Services.  Wendy was accompanied by her boss, Chris Donhost, who spoke at our Club the previous week on the Sacramento Valley Live Steamers.  Today, Wendy's topic was organ and tissue donation and how it is handled.  She cited some amazing statistics: there are about 120,000 people in the U.S. on a waiting list for organs to be donated; over 20,000 are in California.
The Prez promoting full frontal nudity
 She delved into the process that donor services follows, noting that if you have the red dot on your driver's license, that is a binding legal document and even if your heirs object, donor services will many times take badly needed organs and/or tissues.  She talked about the requirement that a donor be brain dead before a donation can even be considered, which means about 80% of our membership is safe for the moment.  Very interesting talk.  At the end, the Prez sold her a book and warned everyone to clear out before something very bad happened...  Good meeting.
The First of Several Parts... John Chapman 2017-05-23 07:00:00Z 0
As meetings go, it wasn't a bad one... In fact, it was pretty interesting, with a special presentation and an interesting speaker on an interesting topic.  Patience, dear reader, we'll get to all that.  As is our tradition, we had a first team greeter today: none other than Past President Jerry Smuts, who apparently got everyone's badge correct.
Finally.... a professional greeter...
 When President Sean started the meeting, it was Past President Steve Forseth who led us in a fine recital of the Pledge, and he was followed closely by "Songleader for Life" President Elect Brett Schreiner, who may have botched his lifetime appointment with today's rendition.
Would you buy a used car from this man?
That was it for the prelims, except for the weekly quote which had something to do with either full frontal nudity or trying harder... I don't remember which.  
The brain trust gathers
Lunch was a delicious pasta dish with chicken in a tasty sauce, with salad and dessert and fluids and Rotarians were observed consuming mass quantities.  Good grub.  Then there were.... wait for it... announcements.  
If you can read 'em, you can have 'em...
  They are posted on the accompanying pic, and when the discussion of demotion came up, PP Chapman told everyone that it was going to be a potluck, with the Club providing the barbecued tri-tip and chicken and members each bringing in either a vegetable, salad or dessert dish for the affair.  A signup will be circulated, but do note that it is a family affair at Clarence's and will run from about 1:00 P.M. to about 5:00 P.M. on June 24 .
Hometown Hero Grant goes to Ken Willes of the Live Steamers
 Once the Prez had run through the usual announcements, it fell to Past President Brud Dufficy to introduce the winners of the Club Foundation's Hometown Hero Challenge, which is a competitive grant sponsored by our foundation to a worthy local cause and this inaugural year, it was the Sacramento Valley Live Steamers who garnered top honors and the $2500 check that came with it.  Brud presented the check to WW II Air Corps veteran Ken Willes, who has been a mainstay in the Live Steamers.  Ken was awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross for his service and we were honored to have him among us for the day.  
Pat's disappointment is... palpable...
Next came the weekly scam... I mean drawing... and our guest for the day, Ken Willes, drew Brett's ticket number from the pot, but Brett failed to pull the orange ball and so let the $84 slip through his fingers.  At Ray Wyatt's table, several members overheard Ray mumbling, "Still not big enough..."
With that, it was time for the world's tallest Sergeant at Arms of a Rotary Club in the Sacramento area, east of the capitol and adjacent to Highway 50.   Chapman got up and, aided by bagman Brett Schreiner,  right off the bat nailed Past President Pat Orelli for a pin infraction (easy money.)  Next Brud admitted to spending some time in Vegas attending a convention at the new Christian Science Reading Room there.  I didn't catch the back story, but Navin paid for his grandson getting lucky, but before we could embarrass him further, Steve Forseth crowed bout his daughter completing her Master's Degree in Mathematics!  Way to go.  The Sarge then unmercifully turned his attention to Past President Dr Merlin Mauk, who was almost on time for the meeting.  When questioned, Jerry Smuts admitted that his grandson is graduating from school down in..... in... California, yeah that's the ticket.  The Sarge himself chipped in a Jackson for a very minor faux pas, allowing his phone to ring and then conversing with this wife during the meeting.  There being no further volunteers, the Sarge then moved on to a quiz about the Titanic.  Luckily, Steve Forseth knew the exact date that she sunk and it must have been a miracle that Past President Gary Spainhower knew how many people died in the tragedy.  Sadly for Mike Passof, he was unable to list the names of the lost, so he got to contribute.
"Does this make my hips look too big?"
 Finally, Past President Neil Orchard was quizzed on the definition of 'sologamy', and when Neil had no clue, Gary revealed that sologamy is when a woman marries herself, a concept which may catch on, although a few minor issues may crop up.  Finally, President Sean paid for missing the new Clarksburg Rotary Charter Night last week, sending his personal assistant, Brett, in his place.  That was it.  Game over.
It was time for our guest speaker and it was Rotarian Chris Donhost from Vacaville who got up and presented a very engaging talk on the Live Steamers at Hagan Park.  
Chris gets the book and the boot...
He gave some of their background and spoke of their events and the restoration they undertook in bringing back an old dilapidated railroad car.  It was very interesting and a number of Club members stayed afterward to chat with Chris and Ken about the organization, in spite of the Prez's warning that there was either a tornado or a woman of ill repute headed our way.  Good meeting.
What? Only a Month and a Half to Go? 2017-05-16 07:00:00Z 0
Staff Photographer: Tracy McLinn
Well, the meeting started off just about like every other meeting: Neil Orchard, recently returned from his investigation into the delights of Amsterdam was our greeter and man, did he have a smile on his face...  When the Prez started things moving, it was Jerry Smuts who admirably stood in for missing Pledge leader Steve Forseth and then PE Brett Schreiner blasted off into God Bless America with an abandon that this reporter hasn't seen since sailors from the 7th Fleet had liberty in Hong Kong.  Nicely done.
With the prelims under our belt, it was time to sit down and nosh on some mighty fine boneless spare ribs (I think) and salad, presented by Chef Dave.  Very tasty.  Nobody likes ruining a perfectly good conversation like our President and he launched into the weekly listing of stuff coming up.  See the pic.
We're gonna need another screen...
 A couple of more or less 'importanter' ones: don't forget to use smile.amazon.com when ordering your crap from Amazon and we can get some money back.  Don't worry, they only send us the money, not the names of the adult books you just ordered.  Tomorrow night the new Clarksburg Rotary opens its doors for the first time, and although we didn't get to it at the bored meeting after lunch, we need to be sure President Sean goes with a C-note on him to donate to said Club.  The other big deal coming up is the donor recognition event at B St Theater on May 20 at 10:00 A.M.  This is where we show our sponsors that we love them for chipping in a grand in support of a school in R.C.  If you can make it, please make the effort.
Annah draws Navin's ticket and...
...Navin flubs the follow-through...
The weekly rape of the Rotary treasury took place with Ray Wyatt in the room and reliable witnesses state that Ray muttered under his breath, "Still not big enough..." and so Navin's ticket was called and naturally Navin got a nice white ball for his effort, missing out on the $70 payout.  Hard cheese, Navin... just remember that ultimately we're all just Ray's pawns...
Well, it was time for Sergeant Snively Whiplash to step up to the podium and he did so smartly.  Aided by baglady Tracy McLinn, he first off asked for pin infractions and managed to snare two culprits: Tom Redmon and PE Brett Schreiner, whose nickname is now officially "Easy Money."  We did get to celebrate Ray Wyatt's birthday and anniversary all at the same time and Ray plunked down a Merlin for the occasion.  Way to go, Ray.  Some positive news: Navin's wife, Pratima, now collects Social Security so Navin pitched in some serious money.
Serious money
 Bob Adam chipped in for his sister-in-law's visit after he failed to note that the Chicago Cubs and New York Yankees had set an all-time record for the longest inter-league baseball game over the weekend (18 innings before a decision.)   About this time the Sarge noted the Prez skulking around the back of the room and so naturally took him to task for not repping the Club at last week's District Conference (even though he had a reasonable excuse.)
Sergeant Snively Whiplash
 Finally Chase Armer ponied up some serious dough in celebration of his new car, a 1957 Studebaker he swears he's going to work on when he has time.  That was it; game over.
Next up was PE Brett who introduced our guest speaker Annah Rulon who works with Brett at Republic Services where she is the grand exalted high poobah of recycling.  Annah delivered a very informative and interesting talk on the new law affecting recycling procedures that is hitting California businesses even as we speak.  Grab your socks; it's a new world out there.
Brett confirms that the remedial reading class paid off...
Annah gets her book...
 She presented the material in a very entertaining way and when she concluded, President Sean gave her a book to sign over to the library and then urged everyone to get out.

Recent Event: The Rancho Cordova Golf Tournament last Saturday where the Cordova Rotary had both their A and B teams competing.  See the pics
Cordova Rotary A Team
Team Captain Paul asks, "Where is the nearest chiropractor?"
Big hitter Chase who just knocked the ball past his feet...
Cordova Rotary B Team...
... with their cheerleader, who smiled when Ross asked if he could 'adjust her outfit'...
Interesting.... Very Interesting... 2017-05-09 07:00:00Z 0
Hi, Kids...  This will, of necessity, be brief, since your reporter left his notes at the office.  On the positive side, it will be chock full of brevity...  Greeter was supposed to be someone, but in their absence, it was Brud Dufficy who stepped up and  greeted a Rotarian or two at the door.
Setup volunteer...  Kudos, Navin
 The Pledge was supposed to be led by Jerry Smuts, but in his absence, Chase Armer did a fine job by leading off with, "I pledge..."  Brett Schreiner was scheduled to be the song leader and he actually showed up (!) and led a fine rendition of Proud Mary or somesuch.  Nice work.
Management inaction ( I meant 'in action')
No guests or visiting Rotarians, so were left with a quote for the week by the famous philosopher, Yoda, who once opined, "There is no 'try', there is only 'do or do not."  Words to take home, my friends.
Who doesn't like fajitas?  Maybe some commie...
Lunch was  delicious chicken fajitas with salad and trimmings.  Marvelous.
"I can't read that...  Hey, Mabel, can you read that?"
The usual announcements broke into the pleasant conversations that had developed and your reporter didn't hear much new, even though there was a lot of talking.  One important one concerned the meeting next Thursday, May 11, in the afternoon at Kinney High.  If you can go, go.  We will be interviewing candidates for the two Club Foundation scholarships and you can be a part.
The brain trust coalesces...
Right after that, we swung into action for the weekly debacle usually featuring Ray Wyatt pillaging the Club coffers, but in the absence of Ray today it was Ross Johnson who got to draw the white ball, preserving the $58 jackpot until Ray is able to come to a meeting and collect.
"Honest, when I was younger, I'm pretty sure it was this big..."
A big disappointment to all was next when PP Chapman got up to wreak his unique, yet kind, brand of havoc upon the congregation.  He started off with mentioning that the Prez had pretty much fouled up the meeting and was badgeless and pinless, as was PE Brett and even Gary Spainhower got noticed for being late to the badge box...  The big guy then shifted to  birthdays, which included Ross MacCarty and.... and.... And then it was on to anniversaries which featured several Rotarians, including Pat Orelli, Gary Spainhower and ... and... And then it was on to Brett Schreiner who almost paid for having Republic Services ad material at the meeting (it turned out to be a jar gripper.... go figure)  As he occasionally does, the Sarge then asked all Rotarians to stand up and those who hadn't recently used their old Army Colonel eagles to pin on his son were allowed to sit down, which left Ross Johnson standing alone.  Congratulations to Mark, Ross, I know you must be very proud of him.
Southern branding lady
That wrapped up the Sarge's session, which was mercifully brief, due to the low meeting turnout (12 Rotarians) and so we moved on to the program which consisted of a Rotary video which I believe our Prez scored in some back alley.  It was a decent presentation by a Rotary woman from somewhere south who spoke on branding.  I'm sure if you'd like to review it, the Prez would loan it out to you.  At that the meeting closed like a snapping turtle grabbing a minnow.

Here are some scenes from the Saturday marathon at South Sunrise Park at the river.
Pretty spot
Rotary volunteers and family
Gettin' organized
Wait for it
Clarence and Sharon man the beer table...
We had our own band...
Runners galore
Just When Hope Fades, the Meeting Comes Together... 2017-05-02 07:00:00Z 0
Again.... from memory.  President Sean was home sick (no, not homesick...) and so it fell to PP Chap to lead the miscreants on another noontime adventure through City Hall.  Luckily all of the appointed duties were filled by the right folks: Brett Schreiner greeted visitors and members alike and when the meeting started more or less on time, the fake Prez thanked Merlin Mauk for leading (not taking) the Pledge and Gary Spainhower for a rousing round of God Bless America.  Good start.
The security was tight around the buffet... 
Suddenly folks sat down to eat some fine roast chicken over noodles and salad prepared by our chef Dave.  After a decent interval, fake Prez got up with announcements and headlined them with the news of the memorial service for Dan Skoglund.  Dan's visitation will be Wednesday (tomorrow) night from 5:00 P.M. to 7 P.M. at East Lawn at 4300 Folsom Blvd, and the memorial service will be held at Sun River Church on Thursday, the 27th at 10:00 A.M. with a reception following at City Hall. I encourage all of Dan's old friends to come out and pay their respects. 
Clarence consults the 'rainbow woman'...
Second timely announcement concerned our Rotarians at Work project which will take place this Saturday from 7:00 A.M. to approximately 9:30 A.M. at Sunrise Park South, which is on the southwest side of Sunrise Blvd and the River.  Call President Sean (preferably after 11:00 P.M.) for details.  We need a good turnout for this project, so come out if you can, even if you never saw the signup.
Yup, sheriff's back in town...
'Rainbow woman' shadows our medical staff...
The rest of the announcements were nothing you haven't heard before, but if you really, really want them, you are encouraged to call President Sean (preferably after 11:00 P.M.) for details.  It then came time for the weekly rape of the Club Treasury and this week it was Tom Redmon's number that was called by the fake Prez.  Tom looked ready for some retribution, but he nevertheless managed to yank a white ball from the can, preserving the $47 for the next time Ray Wyatt returns to claim his prize.
Tom, we're all just as heartbroken as you are...
At this juncture, the fake Prez called upon PDG Clarence to come forward and screw his friends out of their hard-earned money.  Clarence very kindly asked for happy dollars right off the bat and a number of Rotarians chipped in rather than trying to answer some tricky Rotary questions.  The few who opted for the quiz instead were treated to such tricky questions as, "Who is our district Governor?"  Sheeeezzzz......
In any event, once the bloodletting was over, fake Prez Chap introduced our guest speaker, Dr. Gerred Popejoy, a Rotarian from Foothill Highlands and the founder and CEO of Nordic Walking Nations, who presented a very interesting talk on exercise an protocol he calls Nordic Walking in which one uses a type of ski pole to not only aid in walking but to strengthen the walker's upper core.
Dennis Maloney and Dr. Gerred Popejoy
 He was accompanied by Dennis Maloney who demonstrated the use of the poles.  A number of members hung around after the meeting to try them out.  At any rate, at the conclusion of his talk, Gerred was presented by a book on the Viet Nam War to sign over to the library by the fake Prez and the room emptied faster than a trash bin on collection day.
We all hope that President Sean kicks the bug he's got and returns to his leadership role quickly.  (Said he got it off a door knob...)
When I Feel Like Exercising, I Always Lie Down for a While 2017-04-25 07:00:00Z 0
Dear Reader,
  This will be delightfully short, inasmuch as the fake president was transported back to his glory days, and forgot to not only bring his camera, but also in all the excitement (as Clint Eastwood once famously remarked) he neglected to take notes.  So you will see on these pages a recap of our weekend at Hagan Park and some notes on our meeting.
We started off with Greeter Brett Schreiner being called into an important meeting, so PDG Clarence graciously stepped in as Greeter and did a fine job on such short notice with only a minimal amount of re-training.  PP Chapman opened the meeting more or less on time and asked someone to step up to lead the Pledge  (game over, memory's shot)  and then luckily fake Treasurer Jerry Smuts was able to rescue us in the absence of designated song leader Gary Spainhower.  Nice job, Jerry.
We all sat to chew on some marvelous Mexican enchiladas with trimmings and then we had some announcements, you know, just the usual ones.  When it came time to pick a winner in the weekly drawing, ex-Rotaract president, Sondra Wildman, drew Clarence's number, but with so many balls to fondle, the PDG got  disequilibrated and pulled out a white one, much to the dismay of his pool member who was counting in his share of the $39 to help pay off some student loans.
Next, it was on to the Sarge's session, manned very capably by PDG Clarence who asked for a few happy fines before asking a few embarrassing questions about Rotary (like, "Who's our District Governor?) and that was that.
The big guy got up and introduced our guest speaker and her two guests.  Elaine Whitefeather had spoken to us before about violence prevention for children and she outlined a project she is spearheading to buy a Rancho Cordova church to house the effort.  She is a dynamic speaker and in spite of the low turnout at the meeting she delivered.  Nicely done.  In the absence of a key to open the lectern, the fake pres apologized to the speaker for being book-less and thanked her and her two cohorts, Laurie Martinelli and Colleen Robertson, both of whom work in the area of domestic violence.  No sooner did the big guy adjourn the meeting than several Rotarians sprained their ankles in making for the door.

Saturday, April 15, we helped out at the annual Easter Egg Hunt at Hagan Park.  We has a good turnout and here are some pics.
Rotarians and Interactors prepare for battle...
The inspector showed up...
Management in action... (not 'inaction')
What can I say?
Every effective organization needs first-rate management...
Neil prepares to go head to head with Bob in the weekly pocket pool playoffs...
The Prez brought coffee and donuts
"Head for the hills!!!!"
Where's the Beef, You Ask? 2017-04-18 07:00:00Z 0
Well, my friends, a couple of things to note: 1. we had a nicely packed house today and 2. this is going to be brief because your reporter is tired and wants to go to bed.
Head down and workin'...
CAUTION!  Greeter at work...
Interact Chair and Past President and former District Interact High Poobah Conrack Mimer
Navin enters of his own accord...
It began with Clarence, the designated greeter, appointing Neil Orchard to take over greeter duties, but when it came time for the absent Steve Forseth to lead the Pledge, it was Clarence who finally had to take part in the meeting.  Following the Pledge, it fell to chorus master Gary Spainhower to get us going on God Bless America, a skill which Gary mastered years ago and today he did not disappoint.
Enough with the song, I wanna eat...
Hoagies went like hotcakes
Lunch today was a very appetizing hoagie and let me tell you, it was delicious.  Naturally, ever eager to get to the announcements President (never met one he didn't fall in love with) Sean showed us what appears on the next picture.
If this looks familiar.... well, it should...
 Before he could complete the announcing/bloviating, PPP Paul mentioned that the entries are in for the Club Foundation Hometown Hero Grants and the Foundation Board (and you know who you are)  needs to vote on their favorite proposals.  Brud Dufficy then stood up and received the warm regard of a grateful Club President for all the great work he did on the B Street Theater project.  Brud took great pains to highlight the work that Pat Murphy did in bringing the effort to fruition.  The performances are taking place now and you should go see one.
Thankfully, that wrapped up the announcing and so it was on to the drawing.
With a few exceptions, everyone seems bummed by Neil's loss...
 Replacing Pat Orelli as treasurer, Jerry Smuts asked Dave Maestas to draw the winning ticket and it was Neil Orchard who got and blew his chance at the newly re-funded pot, worth, by this author's estimate, to be about $3.75.  Hard cheese, Neil.  Hang in there.  Your ship will come in.  Tippecanoe and Tyler too.
Then it was up to Sergeant Clarence and his baglady, Pfc Tracy to collect donations from the congregation.  Before beginning the weekly pillage, the Sarge asked PP Chapman to come forward and receive the banners presented to the Club for it's fine performance last year in supporting  the Rotary Foundation Annual Giving program: the 100% Sustaining Paul Harris Fellow Club and the $100/100% average donation banners.  Kudos go to Pat Braziel and Clarence for shepherding this important RI project for our Club last year and to all of our members for stepping up to the plate.
Banner City
 Starting off with happy fines, he did manage to stop off long enough to nail Ross Johnson, Tom Redmon and Mike Passof for pin infractions.  Suddenly everyone was 'happy' and Paul paid for his new puppy.  Neil paid for an upcoming trip to the very same Amsterdam that had entertained PPP Paul just a few weeks before.  There was a certain amount of hilarity over Neil's upcoming trip, funded on several occasions by Tom Redmon throwing in a comment or two.  Stay steady, Neil.  Ross paid for his looming trip to his 'other' Rotary Club, the Lahaina Sunrise Rotary in our 50th state.   There were a few more, but your poor reporter lost much of it in the general hubbub.
Well, just as everyone was wondering who our guest speaker was going to be, President Sean, reflecting on the recent loss of our speaker chair, Anthony Chacon, presented us with a TED talk about polio eradication efforts and it was terrific.  Well done with lots of figures and mentions of Rotary.
Picture of a video played in a dark room...
 No sooner did the film end than the meeting came crashing to a conclusion.  Good one and a good turnout. 
What's Better... a full house or a flush? 2017-04-11 07:00:00Z 0
Dear Reader, this will be blessedly short because your poor editor managed to delete the entire first page story before hitting the save button and it took the better part of 20 minutes to write the danged thing.  So here we go in hyper speed.  Dangit, it was well done, too...  Anyway, here's the particulars:
Guess who's not paying attention...
Greeter: PDG Clarence (only missed his sponsor at the door, costing him big $ during Sarge's session)
Pledge: Since he messed up Greeter duties, PDG Clarence led the Pledge
God Bless America: Luckily our only professional, Gary Spainhower stepped up and did a fine job of getting us through the song.  Well done.
Fine looking repast
No guests, so it soon was Rotarians happily masticating away (in public, no less) on a fine lunch of hamburgers with all the trimmin's , baked beans, fruit, chips and H2O.
Our chef and her hanger-on
For announcements, see the pic.  
Announcements.... yep
Next was the weekly drawing and I suppose it was inevitable; after a month of having only two balls in the can, when it became Ross Johnson's turn at the prize, he reached in and without hesitation yanked out an orange ball, a tribute, no doubt, to his work in many an Army field hospital.  Enriched by a grandiose $261, the big guy tried to leave the meeting, but was stopped at the door by an angry mob.
Public Enemy #1
Well, it was on to the Sarge and it was PDG Clarence today, aided by bagman Neil Orchard.  Before commencing the wallet lightening, the Sarge took a few moments to recognize Gary Spainhower and the Paul Harris award + 6 (!) that Gary had earned and was apparently presented in a broom closet in a derelict gas station in Galt in the dead of night in late November during a thunderstorm by our Prez.  No matter, nice work, Gary.  You've helped a lot of people with your generosity.  The Sarge tossed out some happy horse _ _ _ _ about happy dollars and then proceeded to nail PP Chapman for his lack of a badge!  What is up with that?  By then, the happy bug must have bitten a few because Paul Schubert volunteered some dollars for his recent vacation to Europe, where he commented on the marvelous hospitality of the denizens of Amsterdam.  Good call, Paul.  Brud then chipped in for his granddaughter attending U.C. Davis, his old alma mater.  Now that they have electricity, she should have an easier time of it than he did.  Mike Passof paid for being out in public with two nameless Rotarians at lunch the previous week without his pin and Clarence and I are grateful for his silence on the topic (and quit talking about my mother...)  Gary Spainhower spent some serious time in L.A. with Tony Robbins and paid for the pleasure and then Ross chipped in for the North Carolina win in the NCAA tournament and then his conscience got the better of him and he threw in a Sustaining Paul Harris contribution as well.  Clarence threw in a few bucks for apparently winning a pantload of money on the tournament.  Finally, Neil fessed up to wearing a borrowed pin from an anonymous Rotarian (likely named Paul Schubert) and that was that.
Clearly a man well adapted to his work...
Our president then regained the podium and just started introducing our guest speaker, who turned out to be none other than our own Tom Redmon.  Now I know a number of those in the audience were dismayed to find out that we were going to hear about the law business, but Tom delivered a most engaging talk on the nature of law practices, weaving some personal stories into his narrative.  I would relate a few of them here, but was told that I would almost certainly face a lawsuit if I were to do so.  It was, frankly, one of the best classification talks we've had in the longest time.  For some reason, the Prez went against tradition (you know the one where he stiffs the guest speaker and holds back the book) and he presented Tom with the book and promptly declared the meeting to be an unlawful assembly and so Rotarians scattered like a fart in a hurricane.  Good meeting.   
Tom gets the hook and the book...
Did Anyone Know There is a Lawyer in the Club? 2017-04-04 07:00:00Z 0
Curtain call, you ask?  Read on, dear reader.  Meeting prelims were the usual: Neil Orchard stood in for Merlin Mauk as Greeter and did a fine job representing the Mauk family.  
Merlin's replacement greets a big cheese at the door...
Navin was drafted to lead the Pledge and was followed swiftly by Jerry Smuts leading a pretty good version of God Bless America.  The President's Quote for the Day was authored by some guy named Einstein; I believe his first name was Frank.
From the formless void, a meeting takes shape...
 Guests; we had a few: Clarence's friend and protege' Sharon Ewing, Rotaractor Kyle MacLachlan and Craig Stevenson from South Sac Rotary were all in attendance.
Announcements... cast upon the waters...
 The usual announcements were cast upon the waters and then it was time for our Foundation Chair Clarence to give one of his periodic pep talks about contributing to the Foundation and today he focused on becoming a Benefactor, an easy step for most of us due to the nature of the gift coming after we're room temp.
You only have to be awake when walking to the podium...
 Then, just as we expected Clarence to retake his seat, he steadfastly refused to give ground and even called Jerry Smuts forward to receive his 4th Paul Harris Fellowship!  
Way to go, Jerry!  Paul Harris + 4!!!
Way to go, Jerry!!!  You have made a difference in the lives of a lot of people around the world that you will never meet.
No sooner had Clarence and Jerry reseated themselves than Kyle came up to announce a Rotaract project taking place this weekend in which Rotaract is looking for volunteers to help out in a job fair sort of setting.  Hopefully we'll get more on that in the next day or two and see if any of our members can help out our Rotaract Club at Sac State.
Traditionally, we would have done the weekly Ray Wyatt retirement fund drawing, but Treasurer Pat Orelli had a surprise up his sleeve.  You guessed it; the Club had amassed enough wealth to draw for one of our periodic Paul Harris Sustaining  memberships.  Imagine the dismay around the room when Pat asked our guest speaker, Ashley Slovak, to draw a name from the envelope and she read out the name of John Chapman!!!!!!!  When asked about the unbelievable coincidence that Ashley was sitting next to him, Chapman replied, "We're just friends ..."  Well, at that point it was time for the real drawing and this time it was President Sean whose ticket got punched by the selfsame Ashley and with only one white ball remaining in the can, the Prez' chances of walking off with a pantload of moolah (read that any way you want...) was very high.  However, in the tradition of a large number of people not named Ray Wyatt, the Prez found himself wanting.... again.  Tough break, big boy.... we feel your pain.
The President feels the Pain...
As is traditional, the Sarge was up next and Ross Johnson did not disappoint.  Focusing on happy dollars, he first asked if Chapman was happy about his Sustaining Paul Harris, to which the big guy replied, "We're just friends..."  
Sergeant Ross enjoys his work...
Sean got the hook for winning a fine white golf ball and was followed by Ray Wyatt and Pat Orelli who both found themselves sans pins.  The Sarge paid for the exciting North Carolina win and then Rotaractor Kyle chipped in for getting a 100 on a school essay.  Way to go Kyle; that education will pay off.... eventually.  Jerry Smuts paid for being proud of his 4th Paul Harris Fellowship, but the surprise of the day was produced by Anthony Chacon who told us all that he is relocating to El Paso (yes, on purpose...) and taking a job there with a company he used to work for.
Anthony at his last meeting...sad
 While this sounds like a step up for him, I think I can speak for all of us and say that our Rotary Club will be diminished by his departure.  We wish you well in whatever you end up doing, Anthony, and you will always have a warm welcome should you return to Sacramento.
By this time it was time for our guest speaker, Ashley Slovak, who is the outreach coordinator for an organization called Soldiers Project.  Her organization provides free counselling to current and former military members from all branches of service who have served since 9/11.  

Ashley Slovak.... we're just friends...
She went into some detail on how they recruit counselors to provide pro bono counseling to vets suffering from PTSD, traumatic brain injury and even military sexual trauma.  She is currently a one-woman band in the Sacramento area and is obviously dedicated to helping our vets.  Nicely done.  As is our newest tradition, President Sean stiffed her on the book and adjourned the meeting, which resulted in a room-clearing that made the San Francisco earthquake look like dancing around the Maypole.
Anthony's Curtain Call 2017-03-28 07:00:00Z 0
Yes it's true the meeting didn't start until almost 12:20,m but at least the PP showed up in time to say, "...and liberty and justice for all."  Nothing gets a good meeting going like a little comedy relief.  
Billy Clyde checks in...
At the door today was PE Brett Schreiner greeting folks and it fell to Brud Dufficy to lead the Pledge (a task at which Brud excels, by the way...) and then when the Prez tried throwing his PP under yon bus to lead the song, the big guy deftly sidestepped the obvious trap and nominated his friend Gary Spainhower to carry the water.  Nicely done, Gary, I owe ya...
Folks had gravitated toward the trough and found to their delight that it was a marvelous beef stew served up by Dave Maestas.
Chef de Cuisine Dave
 Excellente, as we are wont to say in our native espanol.  During the intros we were delighted to meet Shaunte Bhatti, an associate of our own Club Secretary, Tracy McLinn.
Guest Speaker Gina and guest Shaunte sit with our felons
 Unfortunately for Shaunte, she ended up sitting with the Prez and the Prez Elect.  Hopefully she'll be able to overlook this travesty if she contemplates joining us again.  There were the usual announcements, which were capped by the PP announcing the Demotion event for the 27th of June, but he was immediately put in his place by the Prez saying that it would actually be held on the 24th.   Just when you thought you were in charge of something... The casual reader should probably check this space periodically to see how the tussle ends up.
Merlin's enthusiasm is infectious, yes?
Next up was the traditional weekly screwing of a Rotarian not named Ray Wyatt and this time it was Charter Member Merlin Mauk whose dreams for the future were dashed when he managed to pull the only remaining white ball from the can, forfeiting his $214 payday.  Tough luck, Merlin, my friend.
Next on the agenda, as usual, was the Sarge and guess who it was this week...  You got it, Sergeant Ross Johnson got up and nailed just about everyone in the room, including the City Hall projectionist...  
Gomer stopped by during his annual frog gigging vacation...
Paul Schubert and Brett Schreiner paid for their birthdays and then Paul Schubert and Sean paid for this being Rotary's Water & Sanitation month.  Shortly after that, Paul left the meeting... hmmm...  Ross remarked on the intense sorrow he felt upon the departure of his grandson and he kicked in a buttload of money.  Ray paid for being glad Merlin was the week's 'screwee' in the drawing, since it is really Ray's to give away if he so feels.  Steve Forseth got the knock for wearing what can only be described as Technicolor socks. (is 'Garish' capitalized?)  Mel threw in for some transgression and the PP noted that the Chicago Bears have not lost a game yet this year.  Neil kicked in for granddaughter Amber playing ball in Turlock.  (Turlock.... really?)
With that, the fining was complete and President Sean did his usual fine job of giving a brief introduction of our guest speaker, Gina Stassi-Vanacore, Director of Communications for Healthcare Navigator.  
Gina Stassi Vanacore, Healthcare Navigator
Gina proceeded to enlighten us on her organization's  mission.  Their focus is on providing patient support in the area of insurance usage and doctor referrals.  Their success has resulted in a reduction of over 50% in Emergency Room visits by patients who have tended to go there for more than just emergency treatment.  Very well done.  At the conclusion of her remarks as she was bolting for the door, President Sean tackled her in time to ask her to sign the traditional speaker's book and pretty much wrapped up the weekly festivities.  Low turnout, but good meeting.   Keep reading...

We are publishing two prospective members this week for induction into our fine Club:
     1. Sharon Ewing, retired UCD administrator, has been proposed by PDG Clarence Parkins
     2. Shaunte Bhatti, from Golden Pond, has been proposed by Tracy McLinn
If any member has an objection to either of these two prospective members joining the Rancho Cordova Rotary, you have until March 17 to register your objection with the Club Secretary.

So what? I Started the Meeting Late... 2017-03-07 08:00:00Z 0
Good meeting, well attended.  We had a pretty full house for our annual speech contest today and the students didn't disappoint.  But hang on; we'll get to that in a minute.  Although PE Brett Schreiner was scheduled to be greeter, it was PP Chapman who stepped in to hand out badges in the PE's absence.  Nice job, big guy.
The Club committee on quantum theory is in session...
 The Pledge was duly led by Bob McBeeee at Prez Sean's behest and when he tried to pin songleading duties on Chapman, the big boy, undoubtedly suffering from extreme greeting fatigue, passed the duty on to Gary Spainhower who did his usual sterling job of getting us all off on key.
Bob salivating...
After the usual uncomfortable standing around moment while the Prez misquoted the Buddha, everyone sat down to begin noshing away on a fine Dave and Jan lunch of roast chicken, rice, salad and trimmings.  Very enjoyable.  As we sat down, we almost accidentally introduced the grandmother of one of our speech contestants and then PDG Clarence did manage to show off his friend Sharon Ewing whose presence lent a significant element of class to the whole enterprise...  Welcome, Sharon; we hope you'll come back to visit again, even if it's with Clarence.
"Hang on, honey, I'm almost finished playing Asteroids..."
With the speech contest looming, Prez Sean jumped right into running the meeting as if he was Donald Trump signing proclamations.  First up to the podium was PDG Clarence who, after a very nice lead-in, presented the 2016-17 Club Paul Harris Fellow to Club Secretary Tracy McLinn, and from this reporters perspective, it was very well deserved.  Congratulations, Tracy.   
Tracy practicing for her Paul Harris moment...
Lastly before the speechifying began was the weekly drawing and Faith and Begorrah, 'twas Sharon Ewing whose ticket was pulled.  In deference to Ray Wyatt who was not in attendance, Sharon went for a white ball and succeeded.  Nicely done, Sharon; I assure you we were all disappointed at the outcome...
With those preliminaries out of the way, Prez Sean invited Neil Orchard to come up and introduce the rules for the Speech Contest and then Neil went on to introduce contestant #1.  The topic, as always, was an awkward one and difficult to wrap one's arms around: "Serving Mankind."  Each of the contestants did a fine job of distilling an amorphous topic into a meaningful presentation, each attacking it from a slightly different angle.  All four did a superb job in this reporter's opinion.  At the end, the prizes went to:
4th Place - Lin He (only one year in the U.S.!) - $50 award
3rd Place - Chris Capps (a senior looking for a degree in accounting) - $50 award
2nd Place - Johnny Garcia (a senior looking toward a career in business) - $100 award
1st Place - Yulia Khandrylea (the third senior in the competition who gave an emotional, fully memorized speech... outstanding) - $250 award
Neil, Lin, Chris, Johnny, Yulia and Anthony
An event like this year's Speech Contest requires not just talented speakers, it takes a Rotarian to organize and shepherd the process along until the speakers are among us and ready to deliver their presentations and the kudos for this task go to Anthony Chacon who organized the effort from the get-go and produced as many qualified, eloquent speakers as we have seen in recent years.  Anthony, my thanks to you for the terrific job you did in putting this together.  Well done.
With that and apparently needing the money, Prez Sean invited Sergeant Ross Johnson to lighten everyone's wallets, a task to which Ross takes like a dung beetle to a herd of water buffalo.  Most of what transpired during the fining session has passed into the fog of history, but the one outstanding collection occurred when Brud Dufficy fessed up to his India trip and paid a fine of an estimated $1 per mile traveled.  Nice going, Brud and welcome home.  After a few thank you's, President Sean turned the membership loose on an unsuspecting public...  Very good meeting.
Be Polite; There are Kids Here 2017-02-28 08:00:00Z 0
Crab Feed!  The words bring a rush of excitement to the hearts of Rotarians everywhere.  No comments here on the 'Feed, but some kudos to go out to the organizers:  Melody G Mayer is the backbone of this event; without her we all collapse like a 50 lb sack of wet Jello.  Mel, I cannot tell you enough what you have meant to us.  Beth Walter, Dessert Queen (and yes, I got screwed again this year...), thank you for stepping up to help shoulder the load again.  A spectacular array of desserts...  Paul Schubert, who did the delicate dance to coordinate the affair.  Getting everyone together to pitch in their specialty at the correct time... clearly an art you have mastered.  The big ticket sellers this year: the Mayers who moved over 40 tickets and Dan Skoglund, who did likewise.  Dan also did the seating chart for us, as he has done for a number of years.  A note to those of you who know Dan: he is in hospital awaiting a repair job on his hip.  You might give him a thought (or a card) while he's at Sutter.  Thanks to all of you who participated in this year's event.
It was a different format than we're used to: Linda Condon from St John handled all the food ordering, prep and cleanup, so all we had to do was pretty much show up and it looks like we sold almost 370 tickets.  Final results should be ready before too long.  Now a few photos in commemoration:
Mel on the run...
A young couple obviously on a first date...
Oops, looks like the thrill is gone...
Big hitter from the City...
Bartending... share your life story...
These folks are having entirely too much fun...
More fun...
"Miss Crabby, can I have some butter?"
People yakkin'...
Rotarians!  Don't forget, we're dark on the 21st, returning to City Hall on the 28th.
Crabs, crabs everywhere and not a drop to drink... 2017-02-20 08:00:00Z 0
Well, sir, we were this close to starting the meeting on time (again), but once President Sean got the bit in his teeth, he stopped off at the dentist and then it was off to the races.  Opening the meeting, the Prez thanked scheduled greeter Ray Wyatt's alter ego, P.E. Brett Shreiner (P.E. = President  Elect to the uninformed), who capably stood in for the absent Ray.  Then it was on to everyone's favorite Rotarian, the big guy, to lead the Pledge and then ... uhhhh... Brett led us in the song.  Well done.  Soon Rotarians and their guest were consuming mass quantities of victuals, which consisted of pork chops, mashed potatoes, green beans and salad.  Kudos to Dave and Jan for another marvelous repast.
Undated announcement pic...
We all know that the Prez never saw an announcement he didn't fall in love with, and today was no exception, with the list growing even longer in spite of the fact that the Rotary year is growing shorter.  The big one (the elephant in the room, so to speak) was our upcoming Crab Feed in under two weeks and so Mel and Chapman and others had a lot to say about it.  One important announcement for those on the setup committee:  setup will begin at 9:00 A.M. on the day of the feed, February 18; you'll want to be there in plenty of time.  Our format is somewhat different this year, what with the Rotary Club not engaged in any kitchen activities so we'll need to be flexible as the event unfolds.
"Here's the deal on the Crab Feed..."
'Twasn't long after that the traditional weekly drawing was held and since Ray was in the room for this one, everyone just assumed he'd take home the moolah.  However, when Bob Adam's ticket was called by our guest speaker, we all realized that Bob didn't have a snowball's chance in hell of actually pulling the orange ball and carting off the $173 pot.  Hard cheese, Bob... keep plugging away at it... keep believing... keep your nose to the grindstone and eventually you'll see Ray walk off with all the money.
Bob's used to sticking his hand where it doesn't belong...                                                  Alas and alack...
Since it was the Orange Team's turn to set up the meeting, Orange Team captain, Ross Johnson was Sarge for the month and he almost skipped to the front of the room to begin exacting vengeance.  Aided by bagman Steve Forseth, Ross almost began with happy fines, but digressed momentarily to nail Ray for not showing up to be the scheduled greeter.  Then the happy fines began to flow: Tom Redmon threw in some happy bucks for getting to go to a relative's funeral (?), then Clarence admitted to being a guest speaker at Pre-PETS (which was attended by P.E. Brett Shreiner.)  Paul Schubert and Bob Adam threw in for no particular reason, when out of the blue, Neil Orchard confessed to a Vegas trip where he witnessed his granddaughter April play in her first collegiate softball tournament, which her team won 5 - 0.  Way to go April!  Steve Forseth related a very amusing roofing story and paid and then the Sarge himself threw in for getting a cell call from his son.  Ross MacCarty added to the pile of filthy lucre for something having to do with Hillary Clinton and then Melody got nailed (don't read that too literally...) for having her phone erupt during the meeting.  The big guy chipped in for some undefined transgression and that was pretty much it.  Game over. 
Author Kris Calvin
Then, following a long and hallowed Club tradition, the Prez got up and introduced a volunteer introducer, Chapman, who proceeded to ... uhhh... introduce our guest speaker, Kris Calvin, from Davis.  Kris is bipedal... no! wait! she's ambidextrous....hmmm, that's not it either... well, she wears two hats (she's two-headed, that must be it...): she is a writer whose first novel was published recently to rave reviews and she is also the CEO of the California chapter of the American Academy of Pediatrics.
"Hmmm... I thought I had a book here somewhere..."
 In a most engaging presentation, she expounded on the art of advocacy, highlighting a number of tips we can all use when advocating for a cause.  At the end, she delved into her personal journey into the creative world, having never really thought of herself as a creative person.  Her admonishment to 'just do it' was the reason she was able to break out of a conventional thinking mind frame.  In an unprecedented gesture, Kris offered a signed copy of her book to every Rotarian who donated $10 to the Club and a number of folks took her up on the offer.  Very well done, Kris.
Kris appreciates not letting the Prez introduce her...
At the conclusion of her remarks, President Sean got up and apologized for not having a book for her to sign and that was about it as Rotarians abandoned the room as if a 10 kiloton warhead was about to detonate in the next room.  Good meeting.
Almost on Time.... Again 2017-02-07 08:00:00Z 0
Who doesn't enjoy a good ol' birthday party with cake and ice cream and everything?  This reporter, for one, enjoyed the festivities immensely and was observed by a few actually smiling from time to time.  Enough suspense; let's get on with it.  We met Saturday night at City Hall to celebrate 58 years of service to our community and we had some special guests too.  President Sean banged on the gavel (if he had actually had one...) more or less on time and we opened with the Pledge but this reporter doesn't recall the song.   Nevertheless, we all sat down and then had to stand up again and  introduce the various guests that were scattered amongst the crowd.   The delicious dinner was prepared as usual by Chefs Dave and Jan
Sean and his Dad...
At the bottom of this newsletter you can see pictures of our distinguished guests.  President Sean had planned a pretty full evening, so we skipped a few of the usual events: the weekly drawing and the Sarge (whew...), but the first presentation was none other than our Cordova High Interact Club, giving us a very complete picture via Powerpoint of their Club and its activities.  In doing so, four members of the Club accompanied Interact Adviser Conrade Mayer to the dinner (in spite of Conrade's restraining order.... hmmm...)  A very engaging presentation, it was clear to everyone in the room that Interact at Cordova has a high energy group and some very strong leadership.  Well done.
Two of our four Interacters
...and two makes four...
The next presentation was due to be Rotaract, but the audiovisual system turned balky and so while it was being repaired, Rotary Community Corps chief Sherry Briggs got up and gave us an update on the comings and goings of our Community Corps group.  This group of approximately 30 volunteers goes out into the community at various community events and provides translational services to those whose English is still a work in progress and the Corps has made its presence felt in such venues as the  food basket program, the Christmas tree lighting, iFest, etc.  We couldn't be prouder of this group of non-Rotarian volunteers who freely give their time to improve their community.
Sherry Briggs and her 'escort'...
No stranger to our Club, Sondra Wildman, president of the Sac State Rotaract Club , accompanied by two fellow members, then gave us an update on their activities, only interrupted once by a very untimely comment by a Rotarian who doesn't have the common sense to keep his mouth shut when he has the chance...  Although the Rotarians in the room get regular updates on Rotaract from Sondra, I suspect that most of our other guests had no idea the quality of the leadership and the effort that Rotaract puts into our community.  Again a very enlightening presentation well delivered. 
Sondra Wildman, President Sac State Rotaract
Well, just as were were about to begin saying our goodbyes, President Sean surprised everyone by asking PDG Clarence Parkins to the front of the room to give us a brief oral history of our Rotary Club.  Most of us know that Clarence never met a microphone he didn't like and so he proceeded to enlighten us all on the beginnings of Rotary back in Chicago in 1905 and then spent 5 minutes summarizing each year of Rotary history leading up to today.  Actually, if you've ever heard Clarence talk about Rotary and his Club, you know that he is one of the most committed Rotarians you'll ever meet and his talk was very well received in spite of the late hour.
"What?  He's only up to 1943???"
That just about wrapped things up when President Sean announced ha had one more item to cover.  In following the lead of President Trump, President Twilla has signed an executive order naming our very own Club Secretary, Tracy McLinn, as the Club Paul Harris Fellow for 2017.  Although Tracy was not in attendance, she received a rousing round of applause for what she has brought to the Rancho Cordova Rotary Club.  This was one very well-deserved award.
A special award went to a special person...
With that, President Sean thanked everyone, particularly our guests, for coming and  released us all on our own recognizance.  A fun meeting; we should do them ore often. 
The 'Drunk for Lunch Bunch' gets together for dinner...
At least the guys thought something was funny...
"I'm a little teapot, short and stout..."
"What, no drawing?!?!?  Well this was a waste of money..."
Spot the criminal for $5...
It Was a Cold and Stormy Night... 2017-01-29 08:00:00Z 0
Before we begin, here is an
Our Crab Feed... it's coming up on February 18 and here's what you need to know:
1. All Rotarians are asked to donate one Silent Auction or Raffle item to be sold/given away on the night of the Feed.  Melody can tell you if your selected item meets community decency standards.  (No blow-up dolls, marital aids, or methamphetamines will be acceptable...)
2. If you cannot come up with a suitable item, you are encouraged to donate $50 to the cause, to help defray operating cost.
3. If you're really stuck, one of the items being given away is a wine refrigerator and you may donate suitable wine for that giveaway (Ripple, Boone's Farm and the like are not considered suitable wines for the delicate palates of our sophisticated patrons...)
4. We will be having our traditional  dessert raffle and you may donate to that as well.
5. One of the ways we make this a successful fundraiser is to sell ads in the Crab Feed Program.  Encourage people you know who might like a little more 'visibility' in our community to place an ad in the printed program (again, see Mel for details and pricing)
Well, the meeting.... what is there to say: yes a few of the critical players failed to show, but the boss kept things moving and before you knew it, we were all back to real life.  Mike Passof once again stepped up and did a creditable job greeting folks, but then a wrench was thrown in the works: Neil Orchard was scheduled to lead the Pledge, but in his absence President-elect Brett Shreiner leaped forward and did the job almost flawlessly (Brett, it actually begins with "I pledge...", not "I take this woman to be my lawfully...")
Time to get under the bus, Neil...
and then in the absence of Anthony Chacon, Ross Johnson led the Club in one of the most unusual renditions of God Bless America that this reporter has witnessed...
...you might see Anthony down there...
We took that moment to break with tradition and introduced our guest speakers, apparently because they were Rotarians: Greg Roeszler from the Rancho Cordova Sunrise Club and Chip Schumacher of the Passport Club.  We were glad to have them.  Well, lunch looked so good that the mastication derby began almost immediately and we were treated to a nice meal of salad and pulled pork sliders, courtesy of Dave and Jan.  Yum...
Chip Schumacher, Passport Rotary Club
Anyone who has ever been to our Club, and I mean back to the 60's, knows that President Sean loves announcements and today he even sucked in a couple of unsuspecting and unwilling accomplices.  First was Chapman with a membership moment, encouraging all of our members to be thinking about someone they can bring to our Rotary for a look-see.  Then Pat Orelli threw down the challenge to pay semiannual dues for those who have dallied.  Dues are due.  
Yes, kids, announcements are interesting...
Then the usual events popped up on the screen and the one that drew the most attention was for Charter Night, which is this coming Saturday night at City Hall in the North room, next to our usual meeting room.  If you haven't already, be sure to RSVP to President Sean ASAP because we have to contract for a number of dinners and in order to do that, we need to know how many people are coming, n'cest-ce pas?
That pretty much wrapped up the effluvia, so it was on to the weekly disappointment and true to the title, the drawing was a disappointment... at least to Dr.Bob Adam who yanked a white golf ball from the can, thereby blowing his big chance at fame and riches... okay it was $161; sue me.
About that time, the prez pulled one out of his .... uhh...hat... and asked PP Chapman to come up and replace the scheduled Ross Macarty as Sarge.  Pondering his options, the big guy wondered if anyone could replace Ross MacCarty, but then decided to give it the old college try.  What could possibly go wrong, eh?  Quickly composing himself,the stand-in strode hesitatingly forward and opened by fining himself for inadvertently taking his badge home with him last week,ostensibly to have it dry-cleaned (anyone buying that?)  Suddenly a few badge/pin infractions joined the fray, including Anthony, Melody Granger-Mayer and Bob McBee who confessed to a badge infraction even as the Sarge noted that he had no pin on either.  Hilarity all around...  
"Please don't fine me... please don't fine me..."
Mike Passof threw in for feeling guilty apparently that he hadn't had time to stab the kindly ol' Sarge in the back for the badge infraction.  Then it was on to Ross Johnson who admitted to playing the saxophone, clearly not only a breach of protocol, but also a misdemeanor in many circles.  Finally, Tom Redmon offered to pay an unspecified amount if President Sean would shave his beard, a la Samson, I suppose.  Sean defended his beard, noting that his wife was quite happy not being able to see his face, and since we all saw the logic in that, we couldn't fault him.  That was pretty much it for the Sarge, since he had all of about 15 seconds to prepare.
At this point, President Sean continued in the Club tradition of delivering a non-introduction to an old friend of our Club, Coach Greg Roeszler, who is the founder and CEO of Playmakers, an activity-based educational program for underprivileged kids that is designed to develop leadership and academic skills through an interactive program that currently serves 5 schools in the Rancho Cordova area.  
Coach Greg
Greg contrasted the learning advancement of poorer kids with kids from middle income families and the dynamic was startling.  The program engages college and pro athletes, predominantly football players to act as role models for the young kids in our elementary schools.  Thus far, his results have been nothing short of phenomenal and this update brought home how programs like this are critically important to the successful advancement of economically challenged kids.  Well done.
Coach Greg and the book...
At this juncture, President Sean asked Greg to sign a book without a pen and cleared the room by telling everyone that their cars were on fire out in the parking lot.  Interesting meeting.   
Two members of crack delivery team Chapman hold an impromptu pocket pool match before handing out dictionaries...
Playmakers... Who Knew? 2017-01-24 08:00:00Z 0
This will, of needs, be brief, my children, due to an early commitment tomorrow and your kind hearted editor waiting too long to begin...  Well, the meeting began as usual, with greeter Mike Passof manning the door (see attached impressive photo of a committed greeter...)  
"Welcome, I'm a member of the PGA... the Professional Greeters of America"
Madam Secretary in an unguarded moment...
Then it was... uhhh... Bob McBee (?) reciting the Pledge, followed inevitably by our new songmaster for life, Colin Kapernick.... wait!  I meant Tom Redmon, who was unable to rouse the same level of enthusiasm as in his rookie season last week.  Nevertheless the job got done and it was down to masticating a lovely lunch of salad and other stuff prepared by our Chef and his lady, Dave and Jan.
Lunch is served...
 Good lunch.
As one might imagine, with a president who lives for his weekly announcements, President Sean did not disappoint and rather than try to keep up with the flow, this week, the announcements are reiterated on the attached slide.  
Announcements.... read 'em and weep...
A couple of things to note: Charter Night is on the 28th this month and it is going to be a special event at City Hall, with activities focused on our Club's glorious history.  It is our 58th birthday and I'm hopeful that everyone will be able to attend.  Second, our biggest event of the year is almost upon us and since it funds just about every thing we do in the community and internationally, it is extremely important that we sell as many tickets as possible to make our Crab Feed a success.  I know your Club can count on you.
Well, no sooner were the announcements history than we turned to funding the Ray Wyatt Charitable Foundation.  Unfortunately, Ray was not in attendance, so it fell to Jerry Smuts to pick the correct ball from the can and that's exactly what he did, pulling a lonely white sphere from said can, no doubt to Ray's delight, the $149 pot extending for yet another week.
Hope springs eternal...
"Oh crap..."
Sergeant Ross MacCarty was next on the scene and he proceeded to clear a wide swath, nailing Merlin Mauk for no badge, Mike Passof for no pin and likewise our very own PDG Clarence (you can fool all of the people some of the time...)  Treasurer Pat Orelli paid for his phone erupting during the meeting and Anthony got hit for being just a trifle late (is that fair?).  Then, totally out of character, the Sarge himself threw in a few bucks in celebration of his 17 years in our fair Rotary Club  (nice job, Ross...)
Here's a man who loves his job...
 The Prez was criticized for starting the meeting late and then attention was turned on Brud Dufficy, who is apparently headed for India later this month.  At this juncture, Brud was reassured by Navin who told him of the Indian tradition that if you die on the banks of the Ganges, you go immediately to heaven, so Brud's got that going for him (which is nice...)  Chapman got hit for general purposes and then it was revealed that Navin is heading back his native India for a two month visit and leaving shortly.  
The brain trust... not a dark hair in sight...
That pretty much put the kibosh on any further bloodletting, so the Sarge sat down as Anthony Chacon was invited to the front to introduce our guest speaker, Alice Sauro, who is the (relatively) new Executive Director of the Sacramento Philharmonic Orchestra and the Sacramento Opera.  Alice gave us her history in music pointing her toward a career in management and she went on to describe what the Philharmonic is up to these days and the problems that they confront as they try to get re-established in the community.
Anthony on the intro...
Alice, a Sacramento Rotarian, gets the book and the traditional bill of goods
 'Twas a most engaging presentation and at the end of it, she got to sign a book.  Wasn't too long after that the Prez sent everyone packing, 'cept for his board which was entertained for an additional hour in the monthly bored meeting.  If you want the details, see the Prez or one of those people...  Good meeting. 
"How do ya get out of this chicken outfit?"
What if I die on the banks of the Ganges? 2017-01-17 08:00:00Z 0
Well, my friend, let me tell you a story.  It's not neat and clean and it doesn't have a happy ending, but it tells of a Rotary Club that came back from the dead  (okay, three dark weeks... so sue me...) and found it's pulse was thready...  Yes, my friend, it was the story of a Club meeting that was ("Fred, how do you spell 'disjointed'?")  Okay, maybe the bit about the unhappy ending was a trifle dramatic, but it was interesting... Here is the tale...
First of all, the meeting started only a few minutes late, due, understandably to President Sean helping to search for the meeting supplies (raffle tickets, change can, coffee pot, etc), but once we were started we began gaining speed, hindered only by the empty lunch table.  
Aaaarrrrggghhh.... where's my lunch???
The Prez thanked Mike Passof for almost being a terrific greeter,and then it was on to Anthony Chacon leading the Pledge, followed closely by former Metropolitan Opera baritone Tom Redmon belting out God Bless America with abandon.  So good was Tom's role as concertmaster that he was named Song Leader for Life, a title sought by many Rotarians over the years.
Guests, we had 'em: Sondra Wildman and Kyle MacLachlan from Rotaract were there, as were our friends Sam Anderson and his beautiful bride Pat Braziel.  Happy to have all of them.  
Debbie and her old man...
Predictably late, Clarence came in the door attended by his lovely daughter Debbie, who is in town for just a few days.  Welcome to all of our guests today.
Sam and Pat
As you might imagine, once the food trough was loaded, Rotarians began circling the back of the room like they'd spotted a new Krispy Kreme.  Lunch was good, featuring salad, rice, enchiladas and cookies prepared by master chefs Dave and Jan.  Naturally announcements had to be made and they may be summarized somewhere in this epistle in a photo taken by the crack Club photog.  (Just checked: they're not available... try to remember...)
"Do not wake me up ever again in the middle of one of these meetings!!!"
 An 'other' announcement was made by Brud, reminding us of the B Street Theater project, which will be going to performance in the next several months.  If you haven't gone to one of the participating schools to see this, you must go... it is a hoot.  
Some folks are born announcers...
The second 'other' announcement was by Sondra Wildman, president of the Sac State Rotaract, who gave us a report on the doings of the Club, including their community service hours, their projects and their fundraising.

Rotaract Grand Exalted High Poobah Sandra
 This is one impressive group of people and we are proud of what they have been able to accomplish particularly in light of the fact that they're all full-time students with class loads, etc.
Yep, there was a drawing, and even though there were only 4 balls left in the can, the $134 went wanting (again) as Sondra pulled Navin's ticket number and Navin managed to snag once again a white ball.  Hard cheese, Navin, at least a lot of people felt bad about it ... (okay, maybe that's overstating it a bit...)
The Sarge in his formative years as Navin mourns the drawing result
Next on the agenda was Ross MacCarty as Sarge, but since he was not in attendance, our other Ross picked up the slack and began lightening wallets...  Ross was most capably assisted by Dr. Bob Adam, but since your earnest reporter was hiding under his table, much of the Sargerly proceedings may go unreported here.  Pat Orelli paid for getting fired from his accounting firm; Chapman paid for a trip to Hawaii and his birthday; Jerry Smuts paid for helping out with dictionary deliveries, as did Bob McBee; Clarence paid for his traditional trip to Vegas for Christmas!?!?!?!
The Sarge after being fired by the Prez...
Well, that wrapped up the prelims and so it was on to our guest speaker, Rod Malloy, or so we thought.  Anthony's introduction of Rod was lengthened somewhat when our crack team of computer nerds was unable to get his presentation up and running, so Rod, obviously a polished presenter, started anyway and when our Rotarian team ultimately succeeded, he proceeded to tell (and show) us about his passion and work in the area of ecology based community service.  He spoke of a number of programs his organization, Breathe California, is running to help us live better with clean lungs.  
Guest speaker Rod Malloy
His organization goes down to grade school level to teach conservation and is an offshoot of the American Lung Association.  Well done and well received.  At the close, he got a firm handshake from the Prez who closed out the meeting by reminding us about the
City Hall rule about no fist fighting in the parking lot.  Good meeting. 
Sam and Pat after the meeting
They're Baaaaack... 2017-01-10 08:00:00Z 0
Well, it was an unusual meeting, to say the least.  The President was out sick (and reportedly had a note from either his mother or his doctor) and he threw PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP Ross Johnson under the bus to lead the last meeting before our three week holiday break.  Ross picked up the beat as if he had been President before (oh, that's right, he was...) and ably assisted by his fellow Club members, he did a creditable job.  
"Welcome to Rotary.  Would you like to buy a car?"
We were warmly greeted at the door by Steve Forseth and Pat Orelli (who only wants your money) and Tracy McLinn and so when stand-in President Ross opened the meeting with a verbal "Ding" ( we couldn't figure out how to open the podium to get the bell at first...) everyone rose and Ross asked .... Steve Forseth.... to lead the Pledge ( a task at which Steve excels...) and then for the lack of Gary Spainhower to lead the song, President for a Day Ross bestowed the honor on.... Steve Forseth.  I'm pretty sure that, without Steve, the Club would totally fall apart.
The Italian symbol for "Go away!" or words to that effect...
Anyway, that knocked out the preliminaries and we all sat down to eat a very good lunch of steak and chicken with refried beans and salad.  As you might imagine, the crowd became restless when the announcements appeared and they were pretty much what you expected, but were amplified by Brud Dufficy who chipped in with updates on the dictionary project and the B Street Theater play writing workshops.  Even the big guy got in a few licks, telling everyone about the rules surrounding Crab Feed tickets which he had passed out to everyone in the room.  Well, just when you thought it was time for the Sergeant, President Ross asked Jerry Smuts to get up and lead us in a few old Rotary songs, a tradition we thankfully discarded years ago.
Some people know how to lead a song...
 Well, Jerry got the crowd all fired up and we sang "R-O-T-A-R-Y" (that spells Ro-tareee...) and then followed up with a not ready for prime time version of "Smile" (and the world smiles with you...)  Luckily for us our guest speaker's first language was not English.
Shortly after the embarrassment concluded, Pat Orelli announced that there was $121 in the pot and then Tracy McLinn managed to pull Tom Redmon's number from the can.  Even at this unheard-of early stage, Tom narrowed his gaze, focused his thoughts, clenched his teeth and boldly reached into the can and pulled out.... the ORANGE BALL! (Oh crap...)  Way to go, Tom, I'm sure you deserved it in some apocalyptic way...
Pat is delighted at Tom's good fortune...
With that, it was time for Chapman to rise and shine as the Sarge for the last regular meeting of the year.  Assisted by Bag Lieutenant Mike Passof, the Sarge started off by noting that the two birthday boys missing from the previous week were none other than Pat Orelli and Tom Redmon, both of whom contributed to the pot.  Ray Wyatt was recalcitrant to talk about his wanderings only noting that he had been gone for a while.  Pat Orelli, on the other hand, gloried in his recent vacation and got to chip in as well.  Well, paint me red and call me a strawberry, but when the Sarge asked Tom Redmon if he had any plans for his winnings in the drawing, Tom said (in public, mind you) he wanted to contribute all of his winnings to the big Christmas party at Ross and Sandy Johnson's house on Friday.  What a guy; I now formally take back all that stuff I said about Tom.  Well, the Sarge had clearly run out of steam, so he asked if anyone had any happy bucks to throw in the pot and a number of folks did: Ross Johnson paid for the big Army win over Navy the previous weekend and a few others celebrated recent happy events, and that was pretty much it...
You mean Club Presidents wear business attire?...
President Ross got up and then made speaker chair Anthony Chacon get up and introduce our speaker, Indu Shahi from Nepal.  Indu talked about the devastating earthquake that struck Nepal in April of 2015.
Guest speaker and Rotary Scholar Indu Shahi
 He showed pictures of the damage and threw out some staggering statistics: approximately 10,000 people were killed and over 25,000 injured in the main quake and then the large aftershocks that followed.  The pictures of destroyed houses and the recovery effort to locate the living and the dead just wrenched at your heart.  It was a very moving presentation and at the end, Ross gave Indu the traditional library book, which happened to be about earthquakes, for donation to the library.
The book
 Good meeting.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all you Rancho Cordova Rotarians from the editor and staff of your weekly bulletin.  See you Friday night at Ross and Sandy Johnson's place...:-)
Before the meeting
Speaker chair Anthony introduces Indu
Brud reminds Club of the dictionary labeling party on the 21st at B&J
When the President's Away, the Members Will Play... 2016-12-13 08:00:00Z 0
Wouldn't you know it: the year is halfway over and we started a meeting on time.  It's time for the Presidential Medal of Freedom for President Sean or an equivalent award... perhaps two weeks in Galt...
I thought conspiracies were illegal...
 In any event, we were all warmly greeted at the door by none other than PDG Clarence Parkins, who only had to check the membership roster twice to make sure everyone got the right badge.  Well done, my friend.  As noted above, the Prez got us off to a precisely timed start by asking Chase Armer to lead the Pledge, followed by Brett Shreiner stepping in for Gary Spainhower to lead the song.  Well done by both gentlemen.  After the usual stumbling around and some reference to Albert Einstein (or is it Norman Einstein?), the Prez loudly and proudly declared it to be disease prevention month, which turned out to be an incredible coincidence, given the prez' medical history.
"Merlin.... stop talking!!!  You make my head hurt!!!"
  Nevertheless, it was off to the mastication derby and we were treated to some very nice split pea soup and salad, with trimmings and stuff.  Good lunch.  As has become our habit, shortly after the feeding began, we were treated to the traditional plethora of announcements (see the picture and see if you can sort them out.)  
"Yep, these are my announcements..."
The first announcer was PP Paul who is our Crab Feed Chair, who circulated a signup for some committee heads to round out the Crab Feed staffing.
Apostle Paul: "Let us pray..."
 This year it's going to be different, with some additional menu items and with less work involved due to the Club outsourcing the food ordering and food prep to Linda Condon at St Johns.  Hurray... no dish washing!!!  Prez read a note from our recent guests from the library expressing their appreciation for our support of their programs.
2nd Runner up - Tracy McLinn Look-alike   
 1st Runner up   
Of note, there is going to be a giant lull in Rotary activity at the end of the month, with us going dark on Dec 20th, 27th and Jan 3.  You can show up anyway, but you might want to bring a sack lunch with you.  That was about it for the announcing, so it was on to the weekly Ray Wyatt drawing (in Ray's absence, uh oh...) 'Twas Bob McBee whose ticket was pulled by our guest speaker, Courtney Blake, but sadly (for Bob anyway) he only managed to lighten the can to the tune of one white ball.
"Dagnabit!" (or words to that effect...)
 Better luck next time, Robert...
About that time, it became clear that the immediate PP was going to play 'Sarge for a Day' when he strode recklessly to the podium, dang near knocking over the Prez in the process.  The big guy started off by naming Chase Armer as his bag deputy for the day and then immediately turning on Ross Johnson and Anthony Chacon for their tardiness.  Most Sergeants might have stopped there, but not Chapman... he went on to pick out Navin Naik and Jerry Smuts for their birthdays and Brud Dufficy for his wedding anniversary.  Congratulations, boys.  In the spirit of the event, he then fell on his sword and nicked himself a Jackson for the recent success of his hometown Chicago Bears and then asked all the northern California residents to chip in a  buck if they were ashamed of the 49ers or proud of the Raiders, a request which fell on a number of deaf ears.
Everyone who loves the Sarge, raise your hand!
 There were some happy dollars before Prez Elect Brett chipped in for a pin infraction.  Melody volunteered that she's apparently a terrible driver and then Ross J got mad at someone, when all of a sudden Bob Adam piped in that he had been to Cirque du Soleil at the Golden 1 Center.  Conrade mourned the recent passing of everyone's favorite.... uhhh.... errrr... singer(?) Van Williams and the fining concluded with President Sean chipping in for not being fined (?!?!?)
With the preliminaries thus being disposed of, it was on to our guest speaker, Courtney Blake, senior manager for inside sales at Golden 1 Center.
Try to pick out the happy one here...
 Anthony did a fine job of introducing Courtney, mentioning that she is the senior manager of inside sales at Golden 1 Center.  Courtney opened by showing a brief ad video highlighting the Center and then she got down to describing the features that are available to ticket holders and the numerous types of events that can be hosted there.  Golden 1 is the only LEED certified athletic arena in the world today, with the capacity to generate 100% of its electricity need.  The arena is totally wired, with smart phone access to many services and products.  It was a delightful presentation and I suspect it motivated a number of us to go down and take in an event or two.
"Sign this, baby and I'll give you an empty coffee cup..."
With that, President Sean got up, gave Courtney a coffee mug and a few kind words and then flushed the room like he had a proctology appointment.  Good meeting.
The Classical On-Time Start 2016-12-06 08:00:00Z 0
Someone famous once said, "Into every life a little rain must fall..."  I believe it was the same guy who invented Club Assembly.  Luckily the meeting started late so it limited the punishment, but to be truthful about the whole affair, it was well run and timely, since our Crab Feed is coming up in just a few months and we need to get a head start on putting on our biggest fundraiser of the Rotary year.  To start off, we were warmly greeted by Jerry Smuts' greeter stand-in, Navin Naik, since Jerry was pulling duty as Treasurer wannabe at the door in Pat Orelli's absence.  
Greetee Steve and greeter Navin
Apparently consorting with convicted felons isn't a thing anymore
"You're kidding, right?  You never heard of Pajaro Dunes?!?!?!?"
Good job, door crew...:-)   At the President's request Merlin Mauk got us started off on the Pledge.  President Sean then asked Neil Orchard to lead the song, a job Neil takes to like Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell stuck in an elevator together, and then after the usual awkward standing moment and a quote from Teddy Roosevelt (something along the lines of , "Who's your daddy?") we were all allowed to sit and have conversations and victuals.  The lovely Jan provided us with chicken and pasta, accompanied by salad, rolls, drinks and the oh so delicious chocolate chip cookies.
Raise your hand if you'd buy a used car from this man...
Naturally this pleasant state of affairs couldn't last, and sure enough the prez stepped into the void and threw down some announcements.  Here's the gist of several of them:
     1. Along with a number of other volunteer groups, a bunch of our guys stepped up to the plate, so to speak, and helped out with the Thanksgiving food distribution project at the Cordova Food Locker on the 21st.
We're from the IRS and we're here to help...
 Thanks go out to Ross Johnson and all the folks who showed up to help.
     2. Christmas tree lighting ceremony went off on a somewhat muddy pitch on the 27th and we had folks there as well. 
     3. December 16 is going to see the Club Christmas party at the Johnsons.  IMPORTANT SAFETY NOTE: Don't forget to RSVP to said Johnsons so they know how many to prepare for.  Rumor is you can bring your own wine to the affair.
     4. December 19 is the Christmas Food Basket project over at the Cordova Food Locker and again we're all invited to go help out.
     5. Jan 3 John Germ (that's Mr President to you neophytes) will be speaking in San Jose.  You're all invited to go.
     6. Jan 28 is going to be the date of our annual Charter Night celebration (58 years in business in R.C.... woo hoo!!!)  Location details to follow...
     7. February 18 is our 23rd Annual Crab Feed and it is going to require all of us to pitch in and help out in one capacity or another.
     8. In an unscheduled announcement, Brud Dufficy highlighted the state of the dictionaries (they're not here yet, but have been paid for , so they could arrive any time. Be ready and be flexible.)
     9. B Street Theater play writing workshops in the schools are in progress.  This is a hoot: if you can attend one of the workshops and just observe, you'll see the energy that the actors bring to the project and to the kids.
Well, that seemed to wrap up the announcing so we went directly to the weekly drawing and since Ray was not in attendance, it was a foregone conclusion that whoever got their name picked would go home no richer than when they arrived.  Well it was Bob McBee whose number got punched and sadly (for Bob anyway) the $96 survived to fight another day.  Hard cheese, Robert.
Next Sgt Ross came up, again replacing Sgt Beth,and began by nailing the lates: President Sean's meeting start, Chase, Mel and the Sarge himself.  Chase garnered some extra attention for the Food Locker project and then the Sarge noted that he had received a $1000 donation from the daughter of one of our Rotarians, Paul Schubert.  Paul's daughter, Misty, surprised a lot of people by her very generous gift to the food locker.  One might surmise that Paul and Donna raised her right...:-)  Next Neil paid for a trip to the Pajaro Dunes where the Orchards celebrated Thanksgiving.
That was it for the Sarge, so the President smoothly transitioned to the meat of our Club Assembly: talking about our upcoming Crab Feed.  After a brief membership report by Secretary Tracy (27 and holding... for the moment)
"Watch it , pal, or I'll give you the back of my hand!"
and an abbreviated treasurer's report (in Pat Orelli's absence) and a delightfully delivered membership recruiting report by our Past President, it was on to the meat of the assembly.  First on the agenda was a discussion led by Crab Feed Chair, Paul Schubert on whether we should outsource the kitchen to St John's and have Linda Condon do all the food ordering and preparation (and kitchen cleanup.) 
Crab Feed?  I'm all ears...
After lively discussion, the Club voted to go ahead with it.  Next item was pricing and again after some spirited discussion, it was voted on and decided to raise the ticket price from last year's $45 to $50 this year.  Tom Redmon said he would get on the Grapevine to see about getting ad space for the event, and finally chairman Paul mentioned that not all committee chairs had been filled yet, so come ready to next week's meeting prepared to sign up for your work detail of choice.
We were already over our allotted time, so when the prez adjourned the meeting, the room cleared as if Typhoid Mary had just arrived.  Good meeting.  
Almost started on time... 2016-11-29 08:00:00Z 0
Has it occurred to anyone other than your journalist that you never see President Sean and Donald Trump at the same time?  Just sayin'... In any event, we were warmly greeted at the door by Jerry Smuts' stand-in, Navin Naik, as Jerry stood by and observed.  Nicely done, Jer...
"Like my new ring?"
 Dr Merlin Mauk got the call to lead the Pledge, a job he takes to like a fly to a horse barn.  Then our musical director, Dr. Bob Adam got the call (again) to lead us in song and as the late great Vince Lombardi once said, "We may play like hell in the beginning, but we finish strong!"  Among our Rotary visitors today was Craig Stevenson from South Sacramento, who admitted to being an attorney, a somewhat risky move in our Club if you don't want to sit alone.  Also in attendance was Rotaract President Sondra Wildmon, who delivered part of the program later in the meeting.
"I am the President!"
Lunch was Dave Maestas' famous meat loaf with mashed taters and salad, followed by apple pie and it was delicious.
Chow hound central...
 As one has come to expect, we had more announcements than Carter ever had Little Liver Pills.  Here's a few:
  1. Nov 21 - Thanksgiving Food Basket at the Cordova Food Locker - volunteers needed - sign up with Brud  
  2. Nov 22 - We're dark (i.e. no meeting that week - if you show up anyway, it's going to get expensive...)
  3. Nov 27 - Christmas Tree Lighting at Village Green Park
  4. Dec 16 - Christmas Party at the Johnson's
  5. Jan 28 - Club Charter Night at a location TBD (that makes 57 years in business in Rancho Cordova)
  6. Feb 18 - Crab Feed at St John Vianney - start lining up your ticket sales
Call it what you want; I call it a cabal...
  Next up was the weekly payday for Ray Wyatt, but apparently the $80 pot wasn't large enough for Ray to bother with, so it turned out to be Jerry Smuts who pulled the white ball, just to build some momentum for Ray when it gets up around  $500 or so.  Tough luck, Jerry.  
Another lost opportunity, but Ray will thank you for it, Jerry
About that time,the Prez got up to introduce Ross Johnson as the stand-in Sarge for Beth, but Ross had vacated the room, so Sondra Wildmon got up and brought us up to speed on what Rotaract at Sac State has been up to, and it's been a lot, from working with United Way on an urban garden (they rounded up 82 volunteers!), marketing Rotaract to the students on campus and adopting a polling station as a fund raiser.  Well done, Sondra and Rotaract.
This just screams "Conspiracy to defraud!"
Well, the Sarge suddenly reappeared and it was off to the races.  1. Ray admitted to being elected to the Rules Committee of the Senior Legislature; 2. Navin paid for a 'big event' which he was reticent to share; 3. Chase Armer's son Trevor  took his dad to the cleaners during a recent soccer game, where Trevor blocked 17 goal attempts (at $1 per save); nice going, Chase;  4. the big guy paid for a successful election; 5. Bob Adam paid for his grandson's recent success in woodworking; 6. Clarence crowed about Marshall's big win over the weekend against the Eskaton Warriors from St Petersburg; 7. Sean paid for being a Cowboys fan (Jerry Jones to his young grandson, "Bobby, what do you want for your birthday?"  Bobby, "Grampa, I want a Mickey Mouse outfit!"  Jerry, "Sorry, Bobby, I already own the Cowboys..."); 8. Sgt Ross fessed up to blowing it out his ... eye, when he oversped his horn during a recent concert and it turned a nasty red...; 9. Ross MacCarty threw in $4 for some unspecified violations, well... unspecified until Sgt Ross reminded him of a Community Corps faux pas; 10 . Merlin paid for a family reunion; 11. and then Tracy paid for her joy at finding out there is no meeting next week.
Former prison guard delights in 'punishment'...
 12. Tom Redmon chipped in in sympathy for Tracy having to sit next to Pat Orelli during meetings and it then turned out that she likes it over there... (so she's the one...); 13. Brett Shreiner chipped in for being happy generally (don't ask); 14. Pat Orelli threw down some bucks for being outed by the ever popular "Accounting Today" magazine which said that if you follow the Rotary 4-Way Test, you can be arrested for not using GAAP; 15. President Sean bled a little for Golden State Water's press coverage of a Thanksgiving turkey giveaway; 16. Brud paid for his personal hero becoming President-Elect and that was about it.
We were scheduled to hear (and see) Courtney Blake from the Sacramento Kings (their new point guard?), but she failed to materialize, so the President, well known for his flexibility in such situations, invited his predecessor to come up and deliver the first of two classification talks.  Well, the big guy did just that,reminiscing about his trials and tribulations in the service of his country and his transition to the financial business at the close of his military career.  It was pretty dull stuff, but it was last-minute.  At the conclusion of his remarks, Ross MacCarty got up and regaled the crowd with a report on our Rotary Community Corps program.  Well done.  Neither speaker got any kind of remuneration in the form of, say, a coffee mug, but they were happy to participate as are all true Rotarians.  With that, the room cleared as if Two Ton Baker had just broken wind.
You call this a board?!?!?!?
There was a board meeting after the Club meeting and some highlights emerged:
  1. According to Secretary Tracy, we are holding steady at 27 members 
  2. According to Membership Chair Chapman, we are trying to expand our social media presence as a way to attract folks to our Club.  We currently have a prospective member waiting in the wings to join (more details after she's published)
  3. Tom Redmon and Brett Shreiner are going to confab to optimize our Facebook page (if you know anything about Facebook, I'm sure they'd love your assistance)
  4. Treasurer Pat says it's a good thing the Crab Feed is coming up because the Club treasury can stand some replenishing.  Also, Pat recommended we move our bank account to a closer location now that Linda Aseltine, our personal banker, has retired
  5.  Club Admin Chief Brett Shreiner is going to coordinate speakers with Anthony and Bob McBee going forward
  6. Community /Service Chair Brud says the B Street Theater project is in full swing, as is the Dictionary project (dictionaries by Thanksgiving?... perhaps)
  7. International Service Chair Navin Naik updated us on the water filter project in his native India (it's very close) and also volunteered to be our new Club Scholarship Chair.
  8. Foundation Chair Clarence expressed his pleasure at the Club's donations thus far to the Rotary Foundation.  With a goal of $6750, we have already collected $5150!  Kudos to you Rotarians out there who are confirming your commitment to improving our world.  
By this time, it appeared that a number of board members were suffering from 'flat butt syndrome', so when Clarence moved for adjournment, the 'ayes' were not only unanimous, but loud...  Good meeting. 
What Happens with No Speaker? Someone's Falling Under the Bus... 2016-11-15 08:00:00Z 0
Dear reader, your humble journalist takes this opportunity to apologize for leaving you bulletin-less for the past two weeks as he has been out of pocket... abroad if you will, but has now returned to the comforting embrace of our fine Rotary Club.  Thank you for your forbearance.  Today's meeting started off as many do, with Jerry Smuts standing in for the real greeter, Paul Schubert, yet no one was disturbed by the fact, because at least Jerry actually knows the names of all the Club members.
This just isn't right...
Almost everyone enjoys a good announcement...
The Bob & Mike Show returns to the airwaves...
 We had 18 in attendance today, a fine showing for a Club of 27 members.  As the crowd began gathering foodstuffs from the serving table, President Sean introduced Paul Schubert to lead the Pledge (well done, Paul) and then Bob Adam led a somewhat eclectic version of God Bless America.  A few awkward moments later (no PowerPoint) after mentioning Mother Teresa in some context, the Prez let everyone sit down, and soon the attendees were consuming a nice chicken and fettuccine entree with trimmings prepared by our master chef Dave Maestas.  Again, nicely done.
Chef Dave
We all know that our President never met an announcement he didn't like, so he threw a boatload at us before too long and a few of the more pertinent ones are listed here:
1.  We're dark on November 22 as we prepare for Thanksgiving
2. Nov 27 - Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony in Village Green Park from 5:00 P.M. to 9:00 P.M., accompanied by the Ross Johnson sextet
3. February 18 - Crab Feed at St John Vianney
4. January 28 - Charter Night at a locale to be determined 
5. December 16 - Club Christmas Party at a locale to be determined
6. November 21 - Thanksgiving Food Basket Program at the Cordova Food Locker
President on his way to the Annual Announcement Association meeting 
Even the casual reader will notice that the events enumerated above are not in the logical chronological order, but that's the way they came off the slide, so remember the Club motto, "When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping..."  In any event, that more or less wrapped up the announcing,  so it was on to the weekly disappointment.  Today it was PDG Clarence's turn to have his ticket drawn, and the senior gentleman still managed to pull a white ball from the can.
Former basketball star goes above the rim...
 After the ball drawing, Treasurer Pat Orelli then conducted a drawing for a Sustaining Paul Harris Fellow contribution to the Rotary Foundation, funded by the money collected in our change can and it was Dr. Merlin Mauk whose name got picked.
"Ho hum, another Sustaining Paul Harris...  I'd rather have another cookie..."
 I ask you, kind reader, where is the justice?
Next on the agenda was, as usual, the Sergeant at Arms portion, normally conducted by Sgt Beth Walter, but Beth demurred (apparently) and 'twas Ross Johnson who moved purposely and forthrightly to the podium to extract his pound of flesh, so to speak.
When is Beth due back?
 I didn't get all the fines, but I did see Clarence pay for the dismal record of his Marshall U. football team, followed by Brud Dufficy being fined for a t-shirt he apparently wore at a food locker event.  Neil soon followed with a contribution for a trip to SoCal and his cataract surgery.  The big guy got nicked for a trip to Kansas City and the recent victory of his beloved Chicago Cubs.  President Elect Brett Shreiner paid for the recent win of his Oakland Raiders and then he did the most extraordinary thing: he donated all of his $500 winnings from our recent Texas Hold'em tournament to the Club's coffers.  This writer cannot remember a donation of this size from any member in recent (30 years) history.
Tie guy wows sandal man
 With a generous heart like his, I think our Club is going to be in good hands.  Thank you, Brett.  Hard act to follow, but Ross MacCarty made a stab at it by throwing $1.87 into the pot for missing a Rotary Community Corps meeting and that pretty much was the end of it.
Once the Sarge had taken his seat, the President got up and introduced our two guest speakers from the Rancho Cordova Public Library, Jill Stockinger and Daphne Gill.  
Daphne Gill and Jill Stockinger from our library
Jill began by describing how the library is funded (property taxes) and how it fits into the Sacramento Public Library system (it's one of 28.)  She did a fine job of describing the "Read for the Win" summer reading program for kids, an outreach that includes a number of activities.  "Discover and Go" is another library-based program that allows members to sign up for tickets to cultural events and museum visits.  "Read and Feed" is a program that has children tending a garden at the library, growing food and learning horticulture.  In addition, a number of the audience were surprised to learn that you can also check out audio books at the library as well as eBooks.  A very informative presentation by two very nice ladies.
Check presentation to two lovely ladies
 At the end, the President gave each of them a Club coffee mug and then presented them with a Club check for $250 as a donation to the library.  As the Pres was about to shut the whole thing down, PP Ross Johnson sprang to his feet to enlighten the Club on the $2750 the Club raised for Polio Plus on the day that DG Barbara Tracy visited the Club several meetings ago.
With that, the room cleared as if the County Flatulence Fair has just opened in the next room.  Good meeting.  Game over.
The Dewey Decimal System Strikes Again! 2016-11-08 08:00:00Z 0
If you were a Rotarian and if you had ascended to the 'executive level' in our Club, you were treated to a lot of Rotary today.  Here's the gist of it:
Meeting #1  President Sean hosted our regular monthly Club board meeting, with District Governor (DG) Barbara Tracy and her husband Jim both in attendance.  President Sean would have started the meeting on time, but he apparently had low tire pressure or something similar.  As is our custom at bored meetings, Club Secretary Tracy gave an update on our current membership (27) and then Club Treasurer Pat Orelli threw the Prez under the bus for not understanding our budget.
Club Secretary takes notes as Projects Director snoozes
 The Prez replied, "I can explain it to you, I can't understand it for you."   The net: it's a good thing our Crab Feed is coming up.  PP Chapman then stumbled through a brief membership committee report, which drew comment from a number of people around the table, at which point Chapman offered to resign and suddenly everyone liked him again.
Tom observes Pat nodding off
 Tom Redmon reported on our PR effort, including a nice piece in the City newsletter highlighting our Club.  Brud Dufficy gave a very comprehensive report on our projects this year, including a brief description of our water purification project in India.  Well done. 
District Governor with her Designated Driver
DG Barbara then talked about some of the changes in Rotary that have been appearing in recent years and emphasized some areas of interest she has, and of course urged all of us to attend District Conference in Santa Clara in May.  More on that in the Meeting #2 description.  Bored meeting concluded mere minutes before the Club meeting was due to begin and the bored all headed across the hall.
Meeting #2  Well, other than the pressure of making sure everyone used utensils while eating lunch, President Sean ran the meeting as if he had been doing it for months...  Starting off at the door was Bob McBee as greeter, and then when it came time to start (again almost on time) it was Ross MacCarty who got us off to a flying start by reciting the Pledge from memory.  PP Chapman then proceeded to lead one of the best renditions of God Bless America that this reporter has ever heard in our Club... okay, not up to the standard of a Gary Spainhower God Bless America... but pretty darn good, if you ask me.
The Club President 'assumes the position'...
Granny buttons up Miss Layla
 While everyone was still standing some guests were introduced: Angela Spease, past president of the Laguna Elk Grove Rotary, First Man (?) Jim Tracy from the Rotary Club of South Sacramento and this reporters favorite visitor, Layla, Beth Walter's granddaughter.  
Thankfully, that concluded the prelims and we all got down to the serious business of eating a delicious lunch prepared by West Coast Events Chief and Chef, David Maestas, consisting of salad, stuffed mushrooms (yum!~), mashed potatoes, and roast pork (although Beth got Layla to eat it by telling her it was chicken... what a grandma...)  
Rotarians prepare to consume mass quantities
As is our custom, once conversations got interesting the Prez jumped up and squashed the whole thing by launching into ... you guessed it... announcements.  I should note here that a number of them were actually important and bear repeating here:
     1. The Halloween Hold 'Em tournament is going to be on the 29th and we will be forever grateful for anyone who can come to either play or work.  See/call Melody
     2. Our Crab Feed is coming up in February (the 'zact date escapes me at the moment), so start thinking about the people you want to invite.  For more info, see/call Melody
"I can't help it; I love announcing stuff..."
Once the announcing was complete, it was time for the Ray Wyatt weekly Club Rip-Off.  Unfortunately for Ray, this week is 'twas Navin Naik whose number was called and then Navin, being the charitable soul he is, went for and got a white ball, thereby passing up a big payday worth $30!  An item that your reporter inadvertently glossed over last week when Brett Shreiner won the pool for $208: Brett turned right around and donated the entire amount to the Rotary Foundation!  That is a remarkable act of charity and if you do the new math on his net gift to the fight against polio, it totals up to a staggering $1506!  That's a lot of kids saved from a life of disability.  Thank you, Brett.
As surely as Lewis followed Martin, Sgt Ross followed the drawing and all of the day's receipts went to the Rotary Foundation toward Polio Plus.  Ross used the simple expedient of asking everyone in the room how much they wanted to donate and so of course, no one wanted to look like a schmuck, so the donations began climbing.  Luckily for Tom Redmon, he was the first of the Sarge's victims and threw down $102.  Following Tom, most folks added a buck or two in order to make Tom feel bad: Ray Wyatt chipped in $103 when asked and Chase Armer checked with a Sustaining Paul Harris C-note, plus $20 for his birthday.  Way to go, Chase.  
Ross leans on the podium and his friends
President Sean did his Paul Harris Sustaining contribution; Navin chipped in $101; just about everybody made the leap.  Even Beth, our world traveler, paid for trips to Europe, New York and Philadelphia... yeeeeesh...   In all, the Sarge estimated he had garnered about $1500, which results in a win for Polio Plus of over $11,000.  I hope all our Club members feel good about this result. 
  Well, with the conclusion of the bloodletting, it was up to President Sean to move on to our guest speaker.  Manfully, he rose to his feet and marched to room front and center and began making up stuff about Barbara when he was interrupted by our visitor, Angela Spease, who had come to the meeting specifically to introduce the District Governor.  Nice try, Mr President.  Angela, who many of you will remember, is the better half of the Spease family; her hubby, former Rancho Rotarian Kevin is in a tight race for Mayor of Elk Grove and we wish him all the best.
The next First Lady of Elk Grove
 Once the introduction was complete, Barbara stood and immediately introduced her husband, Jim, who now holds the tile of the "DG's Detail Man."  
District Governor Barbara Tracy
  Barbara's talk touched on a number of current issues in Rotary, including introducing us via PowerPoint to RI President John Germ and our Zone Rep and RI Board Member Brad Howard from the Oakland Sunrise Club.  She mentioned that the District motto for this year is "Feel the Power of Rotary." and then went on to describe five (5) goals or areas of focus for Rotary and the District this year.  In short, here is the list
     1. Expand each Rotarians' vision and experience
     2. With regard to Polio Plus, "Let's get the job done"
     3. With regard to our nationally declining membership, we should emphasize attraction, engagement and retention
     4. Celebrate the Foundation; this year is the 100th anniversary of the beginning of the Rotary Foundation
     5. Celebrate the Family of Rotary
Space prevents a fuller discussion of the points above, but it was well delivered and gave us an insight into the workings of our organization at the national/global level.  Well done.  The only fly in the ointment occurred when Barbara launched the brief video on the upcoming District Conference in Santa Clara from May 5 to 7 at a hotel near Levi Stadium.  While the Prez promptly (or not) fixed the audiovisual glitch, the DG's Detail Man filled the gap by announcing a zany photo contest, open presumably to any District Rotarian.  Just submit a zany photo of a Rotary event to compete for some swell prizes.  Also Jim asked for volunteers to help flesh out the Sergeant at Arms committee for the District Conference.  Once back on track, we watched a clever video promoting the conference.  Lots of activities will be available and we hope as many Rancho Rotarians as possible will attend.  This concluded the meeting and President Sean urged us to get out in case there might be an earthquake.  Very good and enlightening meeting.
Meeting #3   Just when you thought it was safe to vacate the premises, we were reminded that the Club Foundation Board was meeting and it gathered at one of the back tables in the meeting room.  For those of you who don't follow your Club's foundation, here are some current facts:
     1. Chase Armer is the president, Brud Dufficy is the Secretary and Paul Schubert is the Treasurer.
     2. The Board consists of 9 members, many of whom are specified (not elected) and one member who is not even a Rotarian
     3. The Club Foundation currently has a net worth of approximately $107,000, which is used primarily to support Club community activities, pay scholarships, provide baby food to the Cordova Food Locker, etc.
Your reporter had to leave the meeting early and cannot report on the actual happenings, but on the agenda was a discussion of funding the B Street Theater literacy project and some other current topics.  For more information on how our foundation interacts with the Club, see Chase or Brud or any board member.
And that's all the news there is. 
The Governor Arrives 2016-10-18 07:00:00Z 0
People have accused Donald Trump of 'shading' the truth, but you haven't seen shading until you hear the Club President claim the meeting is starting on time when the clock at the door (visible to all concerned) shows us as two minutes late.  I believe Mr Twilla has his sights set on higher office...  Just sayin'...  
Two Club members having a preliminary chat...
In any event, after the usual preliminary chats between members, the meeting took off, with Brett Schreiner handing out badges at the door, capably monitored by team captain Ross Johnson.
"Jeez, I can't believe they made me pay for my badge..."
Greeter and associate
 When we arose to do the Pledge, it was the PP who did the honors and then Ray Wyatt stepped up to the imaginary mic and belted out God Bless America with abandon.  With that done, there was the usual awkward moment while we scanned the room for visiting Rotarians and guests, but other than our guest speakers, there  were none.
Even our guest speakers are amused by his outfit...
Almost immediately, people began eating a delicious lunch of enchiladas, rice  and salad prepared by our caterer Dave, who was conspicuously alone today.  Of course a good meal can only take you so far and the Prez was up to the task of interrupting some interesting conversations when he got up to throw some announcements our way.
Announcements, we got 'em... 
At the end of the screened announcements, Prez asked PP to get up and talk membership, so the big guy spent a few minutes at the lectern pleading with his fellow Rotarians to round up some friends, associates, neighbors, or recently released felons and bring them to our meetings.  He reminded everyone that there are incentives for the folks who bring guests to our Tuesday lunches.  At the end of his harangue, Brud Dufficy stood up and talked about the B Street Theater project, which is going swimmingly under Brud's insightful leadership and after questioning, Brud also told us that dictionaries have not even been priced yet this year for our dictionary project, but he did mention that we are now covering 10 R.C. schools and providing roughly 560 dictionaries.  Well done, Brudley.
Melody talks about Texas Hold 'Em
With just about all the announcing a guy can take, we turned to the weekly 'rape of the treasury', where normally Ray Wyatt gets additional funds to throw in his 401k.  This week, however, it was Brett Schreiner who threw a monkey wrench into Ray's plans,and Brett managed to yank the orange ball for a $208 payday!!!  Next week will start over with $25 in the pot (I think).  
Excedrin headache #437
Of course, once you have the drawing, next you have to have the Sarge and it was our friend, Ross Johnson, who took to the stage for a relatively quiet fining session.  Ross started off by noting that some anniversary folks and birthday kids were absent, and then he threw a few shekels in the pot because he was so sad that his kids had left town.  You'll get over it, Ross... give it time.  Bob McBee was apparently due some anniversary wine and didn't get it and then it was noted that Bob is the guy in charge of bringing the wine to the meeting so that turned out to be fineable faux pas.  
Let's face it; the man loves his job...
Tom Redmon had just returned from 2 weeks (?!?!?!?!) in Hawaii where apparently he and Dorothy had an amazing time, but he got nicked for forgetting his Rotary pin as I understand it.  Whatever happened to our old 'dollar a mile' rule for vacations?  It turns out that our President is a Cowboys fan (if you knew that last year, would you have voted for him?)  Brett very charitably returned some of his drawing proceeds, and then Curt Haven, who we haven't seen in a bit told us about catching a 9 foot marlin while vacationing in Mexico recently.  Way to go,Curt.  The has-been paid for a disappointing weekend: Illinois lost, the Bears lost and the Cubs lost on Monday night... it's tough to hold your head up when events transpire against you like this...
Would you buy a used car from this man?
 Clarence threw in a few since the Marshall Thundering Herd lost to ... I think it was Tapioca Tech.  To heap further indignity on the PP, PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP Steve Forseth mentioned that he is a Giants fan.  Pat Orelli admitted to his phone ringing during last week's meeting and paid.  The Sarge then turned his attention to Drs Mauk and Adam and apparently fined them on general principles and Ray even threw in $2 for something and that was it...   Game over...
  Never one to waste words on any kind of flowery or informative introductions, the Prez regained the floor and asked our guest speakers, Amanda Norton and Meghan Huber to come up and tell us about what's going on in R.C. with regard to economic development.  Amanda and Meghan work with Curt in the Economic Development office for the city and they gave an extremely informative and interesting talk on the demographic trends in Rancho and then extrapolated that to what they see coming down the road, so to speak.  I think some of the information surprised a number of those in the audience, but their message was crystal-clear: Rancho Cordova is a major player in employment opportunity, and in a number of industries, including high tech, and the city is doing all it can to facilitate business growth here.  A very engaging talk by two very knowledgeable and obviously competent speakers.
Meghan Huber and Amanda Norton
When it was over, the Prez gave them a book on diabetes to sign and the room cleared so quickly you'd have thought the Empire had struck back...  Good meeting.
Don't leave yet!!!  PDG Clarence has asked me to update you on the status of our Sustaining Paul Harris Fellows.  Here is a current list:
Chase Armer
Anthony Chacon
John Chapman
Steve Forseth
Bob McBee
Neil Orchard
Clarence Parkins
Mike Passof
Gary Spainhower
Beth Walter
Ray Wyatt
This is a big deal, and it is one of the ways that our Club distinguishes itself amongst the riff-raff that are the other Clubs in our District.  If you can, please make an effort to support your Club and Rotary by writing out a check for any amount and getting it to Clarence.
It Was Like a Regular Meeting But With More Attractive People 2016-10-11 07:00:00Z 0
Yes, my children, it's true.  When the appointed Greeter in the form of the has-been, failed to show on time, President Sean decided to start the meeting late in order to avoid embarrassing the big guy.  If you're buying that, I've got some Florida land I'd like to show you.  
Rotarians talking before the bell...
In any event, folks were standing around and talking amongst themselves when they were rudely interrupted by a president who thought it was more important to start almost on time than for people to enjoy themselves at a Rotary meeting.  How do you feel about that?  First up, President Sean almost thanked Chapman for almost doing his assigned greeter duties and then it was on to the pledge led by one of Ross Johnson's minions who will remain nameless here.  And then another accomplice led the song and just as everyone was about to sit down and enjoy their lunch, the Prez kept everyone on their feet as an attempt was made to introduce our guests.  Among them was Sondra Wildman, president of the Rotaract (check the spelling) Club at Sac State, who was introduced by faculty sponsor Steve Forseth.  Sondra, we were delighted to have you join us; please come back whenever you can.
Sondra Wildman, President of CSUS Rotaract
 Ross Johnson then introduced a number of Rotary Community Corps members who had come to  hear our guest speaker... more on that later.  In any event, finally we were allowed to sit and eat and then mere moments later, the Prez banged the gong and the meeting was off to a start.  First there were the usual announcements, but sadly your reporter's pen had a mild hernia and had to be retired for a short spell.
Announcements?  Are you kidding?  Of course we have announcements...
 It (the pen) was returned to duty as Sondra Wildman told us about an upcoming event that Rotaract is supporting and she invited all Rotarians to come out on Friday to lend a hand.  The details are sketchy, but the reader may contact President Sean or Steve Forseth to get the gist of it.  About that time, PDG Clarence stood up and spoke (that's multi-tasking, folks...) about the upcoming Foundation seminar to be held this Saturday at that church on Florin Road that's been used before for Rotary events.  Call Clarence if you're anyone but the Club Prez or Prez-Elect, who I am sure are planning on going anyway.  
  It was during this rough time frame that Clarence came up to the podium and invited Ross Johnson to join him for the presentation of a Paul Harris Fellow to Ross' mom, who passed away not too long ago.  Ross was proud of her and we are proud of Ross for recognizing everything she did for him.
Clarence and Ross with Ross' mom's Paul Harris
Well, with the end of the announcing it was time for the weekly Ray Wyatt funding debacle, but this time to everyone's surprise it was none other than Navin Naik whose ticket was punched by our guest Sondra.  With over $200 at stake, Navin must have been understandably nervous with only one white and one orange ball left in the can, and being the humanitarian he is, he went for the white ball and scored, leaving the pot to grow for another week.  There was an audible moan from the crowd who were pulling for a Navin victory, if only to keep us from having Ray pay off his mortgage early on the backs of his fellow Rotarians.
The loser and his ticket...
Well, as surely as night follows day, the Sarge follows the drawing and for his introductory session as Sarge for the month of October, Ross Johnson strode purposefully and quickly to the rostrum.  To be honest with you, much of what happened at that point is a trifle cloudy since your reporter failed to take notes for the lack of writing paper.  Soooo.. from memory... the two Rosses got into a urinating contest about something regarding World Polio Day (October 24, as we all know... right?), and so Sergeant Ross asked Bob Adam to help civilian Ross out of his predicament.  At that point, Bob fell under the bus and so the Sarge turned to Merlin Mauk for some help, but to no avail.  Finally someone volunteered the correct answer and it was on to happy fines.  Bob McBee was recognized for his anniversary (51 years!) and there were some birthday folks (sorry, memory circuits are fried).  Chapman paid for a Bears win and again threw down a Jackson to hear Clarence recount the Marshall Herd's recent contest.  President Sean was nailed for a plethora of transgressions and he was last seen filling out a wage garnishment form with his company.  Ray Wyatt chipped in for an interesting thing that happened, which was.... uhhhh... errrr... ahem... cough...  The Sarge pitched in some of his own hard-earned dough because he is still overjoyed at having family staying with him and Sandy.  There was more, but the writer is enjoying a gin and tonic at the moment, and the details have become a bit fuzzy...
With the termination of the Sarge's session, it was now up to .... the Sarge to introduce our guest speaker for the day, Sheri Briggs, who is the president of the Rancho Cordova Rotary Community Corps.  A coincidence I'm sure, but Sheri also works for Ross in real life in his accounting practice.  Sheri introduced the Corps members who had accompanied her to the meeting and then launched into an interesting description of what Community Corps does in Rancho Cordova.  It focuses the efforts of its volunteer members primarily on providing translation services for community members for whom English is a second language.
Rare photo of Rotarians paying attention...
 The Corps can be seen at just about every community event there is in Rancho, such as Kids Day at the Park, where they have handed out wrist bands to parents to put on their kids at the event so that lost parents can be reunited with their children.  They also provide translation services at various events such as iFest, for folks who don't know how to interact with local agencies, such as SMUD, the City, the school system,. etc. 
Sheri Briggs, President of the Rancho Cordova Rotary Community Corps
It was a most interesting presentation and following it a few Corps members spoke about the positive impact it has had not only on the community, but also on the Corps members themselves.  Nicely done, Sheri and thank you and your members for everything you do.  At the completion of her talk as she was preparing to sit down, in a total surprise move, Sheri was asked to remain at the front of the room and up waltzed PDG Clarence who said a few words before presenting her with a Paul Harris Fellow!  Way to go, Sheri!
Sheri and an unidentified Rotarian admire her Paul Harris
 That wrapped things up, and as is our custom, the room cleared as if a new strip club had just opened across the street. 
Elite members of the Community Corps
Meeting Delayed as Greeter Almost Fails to Show 2016-10-04 07:00:00Z 0
President Sean, for all his good intentions, managed to pass on the meeting today and it fell to his predecessor, the Big Guy, to salvage the wreckage.  Rumor has it that the Prez was still winging his way back from the Presidential debate on the east coast where he lent Donald Trump some presidential wisdom, but this can't be verified at this time.  It was a bit of an unusual meeting due to the late arrival of Dave and Jan, so the meeting started with no victuals in sight.  With his typical on-time start, the has-been thanked Mike Passof for a great job of saying hello to people.   Up to this point, members were observed actually chatting with each other.
Members chatting with each other...
Moving on to the opening ceremony, Big J asked Mike Passof to lead the Pledge, which he did in fine fashion.  Next, Beth Walter's name flashed upon the screen to lead the song, so naturally, uhhhh...  Mike Passof stepped up and began singing and a bunch of his closest friends jumped in to help him out.  It is apparent to this writer that Mike is destined for greatness in this Rotary Club, what with the extensive experience he's accumulated shaking, talking and singing...  just sayin'...
Chase checking to see if his IQ or his SAT scores have changed...
About this time, Dave and Jan arrived and set out a scrumptious lunch featuring seafood linguini and salad and a bunch of trimmings.  People began charging the food line as we introduced our one visiting Rotarian, Chris Clark, Past President of the Rancho Cordova Sunrise Rotary.  Chris' function, as best we can figure out, was to provide personal security to our guest speaker, Robert Sanger, for whom Chris works.  Welcome to Chris.  Anyway, pretty soon everybody was happily masticating away.
Neil seems incredulous as Bob checks for a hernia
After a short but poignant break from official duties while everyone consumed mass quantities, the stand-in opened the meeting with a review of a bunch of announcements, the most important of which were the following reminders:
1. Oct 8 -  Foundation seminar at Faith Presbyterian Church on Florin Road - see Clarence for details and to sign up to go.  This is a terrific opportunity to learn about the Rotary Foundation and all the good it does.
2. Oct 22 - District Foundation Dinner at the Red Lion Inn on Leisure Lane.  We always have a great showing at this event; be sure to sign up next week when the Prez will probably remember to bring a sign-up
There were probably a few more announcements, but your poor reporter ran out of ink at that precise moment.  Yeah, that's the ticket...
This man likes Obamacare...
Well, sir, once the announcing was over, it was time for the weekly ritual of giving Ray Wyatt money, but Ray was strangely not in attendance, so our guest speaker drew Jerry Smuts' ticket from the can.  $191 was the prize and there was one white and one orange ball in the can.  One can imagine how disappointed the room was when Jerry managed to yank the solitary white ball from said can.  Hard cheese, my friend.  Better luck next time.  Your day will come.  Stay positive.  Remember the Alamo...
Looks like those student loans will have to wait another year...
Have you ever noticed that when things start to go bad,, they seem to cluster up and go in a rush?  Bad enough that God Bless America girl was absent from her job, but the designated Irish Sarge also failed to show, so in his absence the other Ross stepped up to the mike and performed sergeantly duties.  Strange as it may seem, Sergeant Johnson managed to extract some coin from everyone in the room... amazing.  Bob McBee had a birthday and had been gone and paid and refused the song.  Likewise Neil Orchard had been out of town, but no birthday to this writer's knowledge.  Jerry Smuts felt honor-bound to pay for his swell new white golf ball.  Chapman paid $5 for the Bears humiliating defeat at Dallas over the weekend and then chipped another $5 just to hear Clarence recap Marshall's second place finish in a gridiron athletic contest over the same weekend.  There was more, but sadly the Club reporter broke the lead in his pencil at the critical moment.
The wrong Ross covers for the absent Ross...
Now that everyone's wallet was a little lighter, it was time for our guest speaker.  The stand-in got up and introduced Robert Sanger, Executive Director of the Folsom Cordova Community Partnership, who gave a very enlightening talk on the mission and activities of the Partnership in helping to shape the successful upbringing of the youth in our community.  I think many of us were amazed at the breadth of programs that Community Partnership brings to the table, including family crisis intervention, emergency housing, nutrition programs, on the job training programs, a diaper bank (really?), parenting programs and a lot more.
Robert Sanger, Folsom Cordova Community Partnership
 He raced over the functions they perform and during the Q & A, we found out that they're able to support this incredible effort on a staff of only 45 folks.  A very impressive presentation on a very impressive organization.  At the end, the tall one got up, thanked Robert, gave him a coffee mug, and had him sign the traditional book.  As the meeting was adjourned, the room cleared like Patton's Fifth Army had just steamrolled the building.  Good meeting.
The President's Missing! 2016-09-27 07:00:00Z 0
Well, sir, it was a pretty good meeting with a pretty good turnout and pretty good food and a pretty good speaker.  If you ask this writer, I'd say it was a pretty good meeting.  It led off with President Sean kissing Neil's tookus for the fine job Neil did greeting almost everybody that entered the room.
                               Neil greets Tom at the door
                         Tom is still smiling moments later
Anyway, we then got on to the business of starting the motor and it was Clarence who remembered to say, "I pledge..." and the next thing you know, everyone joined in to help him along.  T'was then time for the house tenor, Conrade Mayer to lead us in God Bless America and he did a great job.. well, okay, a pretty danged good job... strike that, it was an above average job.  Okay, let's give him the benefit of the doubt; it was really good for a change.
  About that time, your writer entered the food line and didn't hear a thing for almost 10 minutes, so if you heard anything interesting after GBA, let me know and we'll add it next week.  We were lucky to have Beth and her granddaughter Layla with us today, so the usual scatological material was nowhere in evidence.  After a fine lunch of cold cut sandwiches and pasta presented by head chef Dave Maestas, the Prez got into the announcing business and again, this writer may have inadvertently nodded off for just a few precious seconds.
After that, old Doc Chapman got up and began to outline an aggressive membership recruitment effort that the Club is going to launch shortly.  This is Rotary Membership Month and so we're going to focus initially on attracting new members to our Club and the geezer promised that next week, co-chair Gary Spainhower is going to announce some incentives for members to bring in eligible guests.  More to follow, but the key message is this: if our members don't bring guests that are willing to become engaged in community service, we will continue to shrink and some point our viability may become questionable.  Our plea to our members is this: bring a guest, a neighbor, a friend, a business owner or operator you know; you won't regret it.
It wasn't long after this brief diatribe by the big fella that we had another unfortunate incident with the weekly drawing, which drew comparisons to the Clinton Foundation, when Beth's Layla chose Beth's ticket in the drawing.  The subsequent heat was so overwhelming that Layla quickly bailed out on granny and picked a white ball for the effort.  Not sure what the prize was...  Layla, honey, you are always welcome at our Rotary Club...:-) 
                  Less than half the room is comatose...
As one might imagine there was an overwhelming urge for most of us to clear the room when it was announced that Clarence was Sarge for the month.  The fining began with standard 'Paul Pin Infraction' and continued on with the ex-pres noting that his badge wasn't correct, for which he paid a handsome sawbuck.  Moving on to birthdays and anniversaries, perhaps the highlight was Merlin 'double-dipping' so to speak with one of each.  When prodded, he admitted to his 88th birthday, but couldn't recall which anniversary.  It was then reported that Tracy McLinn also is a double-dipper this month, but no one had the nerve to ask her how old she was.  Chapman got caught having forgotten his anniversary and Ross Johnson also paid for his 47th anniversary to his bride Sandy, who he reportedly married in a foxhole in a foreign country that rhymes with Nyet Ham...(I believe that's Russian for "We don't have any ham.")
Tom Redmon celebrated the departure of his family with some semi-serious bucks and then the Sarge nailed Gary Spainhower for plugging his business by having the Chamber of Commerce hold a ribbon-cutting at his new office on Olson Drive.  The Sarge came down hard on Prez Sean for not having learned the acronyms IPOTS and ROTS... shame, shame... where is this Club headed?  Good/fun Sarge's session...
With that, the President arose and introduced our guest speaker and partner in our upcoming community service project, Dennis Lamantia.  Dennis is the president and long-time member of the Rancho Cordova Little League and gave an excellent overview of Little League operations and history and then he talked about our partnership in rehabbing one or more of the ball fields that Little League uses.
                     Dennis Lamantia, Little League President
       Conrade grills Dennis after his excellent presentation while Clarence does cataract surgery
 This is going to be a great project for our Club.  After his talk, Dennis took questions and comments and before you knew it, the meeting evaporated like Tanqueray gin on a hot sidewalk.  Don't ask me how I know that...
Good meeting.
Gettin' Into the Swing of Things... 2016-08-02 07:00:00Z 0
Posted by John Chapman
Well, lightly attended, but a good meeting with a very engaging speaker.  More on that later.  The Big Guy got us off to a slightly late start (maybe 15 seconds, but nevertheless...) and he opened by almost thanking Red Team Captain Ray Wyatt who almost showed up on time to perform greeter duties.  It was then on to the pledge, which was admirably led by our own Dr. Merlin Mauk, and then Ray took the bit in this teeth and led us in the song... Well done, all.  The quote for the day had something to do with Christmas and the spirit of charity we all feel in our hearts at this time of year.  The Prez offered his raffle tickets to anyone who could guess that the author of the quote was none other than our old friend, Washington Irving.  No one successfully claimed the prize...
Mastication then broke out and was only momentarily interrupted by Clarence Parkins' guest, Linda Sweet, being introduced by Clarence.  Linda is the past-Prez of the Big Valley Credit Union, and we forgave her for being a friend of Clarence's.  There were the usual announcements, but a few are worth repeating:
1. The dictionaries have been delayed apparently, so we are currently planning to hold the labeling party at B&J on Friday, the 11th at 2:00 P.M. in the same place as last year.  Team captains may need to adjust their delivery schedules to allow some extra time to get the books to their schools.
2. The Club Christmas party is on for Frasinetti's on the 16th, with a complimentary wine tasting beginning at 5:30 and then a fine buffet dinner at 6:30.  This will be our regular meeting for next week,so don't come to City Hall on Tuesday.  Contact Pat Braziel to be sure you're signed up and bring a wrapped Christmas present (Spending limit: $10) for a gift exchange that night.
3. On Monday, the 21st, we'll be at the Food Locker again at 8:00 A.M., this time helping hand out Christmas food to the people who need it in Rancho Cordova.  If you feel like Christmas is that time of year when you look out for your fellow man and lend a hand, this event is for you.  Please make an effort to come help us make the holidays happier for the less fortunate in our community.
4. We're dark for the rest of December ('cept for the dinner at Frasinetti's), so mark your calendars to return to City Hall on Tuesday, January 5, for our next 'regular' meeting.  
Following the announcements, we found out that we had collected enough money in the change can to pull another Sustaining Paul Harris out of the hat and everyone was just delighted when Clarence's name was pulled.  Perhaps 'delighted' is overstating things a bit; perhaps 'aghast' would be a better word, but it's too late for tears.  Congratulations, Clarence.
It then came time for the Sergeant(ess) Pat Braziel to step forward and wreak her unique brand of havoc on everyone's wallet/purse.  A few birthdays (Thank goodness Navin demurred on singing the birthday song) and a few anniversaries later, the Club was back in the chips.  A number of folks voluntarily threw in money for one imagined transgression or another, and before long, after a short Christmas quiz, we had collected a whole shirtful of moolah.  Well done, you charitable donors...:-)
With that, the Prez got up to introduce Ray Wyatt, who got up to introduce our guest speaker, Carolynn Washington from HICAP, who gave a very interesting talk on Medicare.  Since over half the room was already enrolled, she kept everyone's attention and talked about how it's very important for us to review our Medicare coverage every year, to assess the changes that have been made to this important benefit.  Apparently, changes to Medicare happen every day, so if your benefits subsequently change, you may need to change your supplementary coverage.  Carolynn handed out a card with her office's information on it in the event we need either counseling or advocacy in Medicare matters.  Important stuff.  Once Carolynn finished, the Prez sprinted to the podium, gave her the book and the cup, and called it quits.  Good meeting.
We Know Who's Naughty and Nice... John Chapman 2015-09-06 07:00:00Z 0
6-30-15 Newsletter Sam Anderson 2015-07-01 07:00:00Z 0
President Pauls Demotion Sam Anderson 2015-06-19 07:00:00Z 0
Posted by Sam Anderson on Jun 05, 2015
We met today at the Rancho Cordova City Hall.
Pat Orelli greeted us on the way in while Beth Walter made our wallets, purses and check books lighter and Jerry Foote recorded who attended.
President Paul Schubert called the meeting to order and asked Joe Scheimer to lead us in the Salute to the Flag of our County and the singing of God Bless America.
Lunch today was provided by Jan and Rosa who was substituting for Dave.  It consisted of bread and butter, fresh green salad, pasta pomadoro, steamed vegetables, chicken and sweet fresh watermelon for desert.
The Thought for the Day was provided by Mother Teresa, “If you judge people, you have not time to love them.”
We had no guests today but we did have one visiting Rotarian.  Oh, maybe not a visitor, just a member who has been missing for a while, Conrade Mayer.  Good to see you back.
PDG Clarence Parkins reported on the District 5180 2013/14 budget status.  Seems that PDG Bill Short did such a great job of managing his year, he ended with a surplus and refunded that surplus to the clubs in the District.  Our share was $361.00.  Good Job and Thank you PDG Bill.
PDG Clarence mentioned the fact that we had received a letter of thanks from Brenda Hagan, daughter of our late member Dayo Hagan.
Conrade Mayer let us know that Interact at Cordova High is recovering and on the upswing.  There are new leaders being put in place at the school and things are looking up.
PDG Clarence Parkins, as our Foundation Chair, took the floor to present a Paul Harris Fellowship to John ChapmanJohn, both a Past President and our Incoming President, is now a Paul Harris Fellow + 8.  Congratulations and thank you John!!!
PDG Clarence then reported that there have been only 26 new cases of polio, reported worldwide this year.  This figure is ½ of the number of cases reported last year.  Good Job Rotary!!!
Pat Braziel reminded everyone that this coming Sunday, 6-6-15, is Rotary Day at the Rivercats.  Some generous contributions, by our local Rotarians, will provide the opportunity for 11 Cordova High Interacts students and 16 needy children from the Sacramento Children’s Receiving Home to see a River Cats baseball game.  Good Job all of you who purchased those tickets for needy kids and Interactors!!!
John Chapman distributed some letters from local students at Cordova Meadows school, thanking us for our support in their participation with B Street Theater. It is nice to know that what we do is appreciated.  John also expressed appreciation for the recent joint Board Meeting (President Paul’s Board and Incoming President John’s Board).  We should have a good passing of the baton again this year.
Navin Naik had his ticket drawn and the crowd cheered as he drew a white golf ball and the pot grew.
Yours truly advanced to the microphone to extract some funding from the group so that we can continue the good work that we have been doing for many years. 
Bagman Joe Scheimer assisted and was immediately recognized for something.  Since I wasn’t taking note, I can’t remember what it was for, but he contributed, so thank you Joe.
Melody Mayer “almost” contributed for her Birthday on 6-10.  See below.
The following folks contributed for their June Anniversary Dates:
6-5      Chase Armer and Karen – 11 years
6-8      Joe Scheimer and Marie – 41 years
6-18    Dr. Bob Adam and Dona – 55 years
6-25    Pat Orelli and Carole – 49 years
6-25    Jerry Smutz and Barbara - $100.00 for 60 years
Congratulations to all of you!!!!
Jerry Foote paid for a trip to Oklahoma City and being caught up in their flash floods.
Conrade Mayer was recognized for being in attendance and for, well, being Conrade Mayer.  Once again, welcome back.  He volunteered that he is going to RYLA Camp again this year for a week.  Good Job Conrade.
Beth Walter was asked, as a regular contributor, if she wanted to throw in some cash into the coffers and she volunteered some “Happy Bucks” for relinquishing the Treasurer’s job and for the fact that her job and in arranging the Demotion Party for President Paul is almost over.
Pat Orelli paid for becoming our Treasurer and for his Anniversary.
Pat Murphy volunteered that her grandson just celebrated his 6th birthday with her homemade spaghetti and she had some cash left over after buying him presents.
Make Passof talked about his son’s high school graduation and coughed up some cash.
Joe Scheimer contributed $100.00 to Polio Plus for a trip to Las Vegas.  He must have won big time.  Thank you, Joe!!!
Melody Mayer was recognized her trip to Las Vegas but begged off paying saying that the trip broke her bank.  She promised to pay up next week.
Shawn Twilla paid for “relaxing”.  Congratulations Shawn.
Neil Orchard was proud of his grandson graduating from the 8th in Redding where he and Rosalie were headed after the meeting.
PDG Sam Anderson and Pat Braziel regaled (he did the talking) the group with their trip to Gothenburg, Nebraska, as the RI President’s Rep, to the District 5630 Conference.  Pat then reminded PDG Sam that had rambled on too long so they threw a Taka Hara into the pot.
Our speaker today was none other than our very own Dr. Merlin Mauk, he of the white hair and charter member status in the Rotary Club of Rancho Cordova.  Dr. Mauk took a trip to Cuba arranged by the California Auto Museum where the good Doctor contributes many hours.  Using Power Point, he showed us what Cubs looks like today.
It seems that there are many “mature” cars in Cuba and Merlin showed us pictures of some of them.  It also seems that most of our membership, yours truly included, took mild offense at the suggestion that these vehicles could be considered “mature”.
Dr. Mauk commented on the “fantastic food” that they enjoyed.  There was lobster to the point that the good doctor finally asked for some lamb.  On the other hand, the food available to the general population was not so great.  There was an overall shortage of food with rice, beans and chicken being the dish of the majority.
One of the most asked questions of Dr. Mauk upon his return was whether or not he was afraid at any time.  His general feeling was not one of fear but one of amusement.  When it was announced that President Obama had lifted the US embargo on Cuba, there were major celebrations.  One of the most remarkable celebrations was a group from Venezuela who marched and sang through the hotel where Merlin was staying.  He mentioned how customs was very good in both Havana and in Miami.
He said that there were no “classes” on Cuban planes.  Although there were only 2 seats in each row in the front of the plane, there were not referred to as “first class”.  He also said that the President of the airline was at the gate taking tickets.  No further comment needed.
In Cuba, the government owns all of the alcohol, tobacco and coffee.  If you are going to profit from a business in Cuba, that is the way to go.
80% of the populations of Cuba do not have cars.  As a result, the cars on road are very crowded.
He visited a cigar factory where all of the workers were female.  While they are rolling cigars, another lady reads to them, all day.  For that, they make $41.00 a week and 4 free cigars.  The cigars that they make sell from $1.00 to as much as $43.00 a piece.
Thank you, Dr.Mauk for a very interesting and informative presentation.
President Paul asked Dr. Mauk to sign a book to be donated to a local library.
There being no further business, the meeting was adjourned.
The following members of the Rotary Club of Rancho Cordova have become Sustaining Paul Harris Fellows in The Rotary Foundation this year and are hereby recognized for their contribution.
Dr. Bob Adam
Sam Anderson
Chase Armer
Rick Blakeman
Pat Braziel
John Chapman
Brud Dufficy
Jerry Foote
Steve Forseth
Dennis Frierson
Ted Gaebler
Curt Haven
Ross Johnson
Dev Khangura
Merlin Mauk
Conrade Mayer
Melody Mayer
Tracy McLinn
Bob McBee
Ross McCarty
Pat Murphy
Naik Navin
Neil Orchard
Pat Orelli
Clarence Parkins
Mike Passof
Tom Redmon
Joe Scheimer
Brett Schriener
Paul Schubert
Jerry Smuts
Gary Spainhower
Sean Twilla
Beth Walter
Beler Watts
Ray Wyatt
Congratulations to all of the above.  Please join this group as soon as you can.  You can go online to Rotary International and use your credit card or you can contact PDG and Foundation Chair Clarence Parkins who will take your cash, check, credit card.  With a VISA card and about $87.00 a month, you too can become a Paul Harris Sustaining Member.
Do it now and you will feel better about yourself and everything else in your life.
In ancient Greece, tossing an apple to a girl was a traditional proposal of marriage. Catching it meant she accepted.
6-2-15 Newsletter Sam Anderson 2015-06-05 07:00:00Z 0
5-19-15 Newsletter Sam Anderson 2015-05-20 07:00:00Z 0
5-12-15 Newsletter Sam Anderson 2015-05-16 07:00:00Z 0
5-12-15 Newsletter Sam Anderson 2015-05-16 07:00:00Z 0
We met today at the Rancho Cordova City Hall.
Beth Walter and Jerry Foote collected for lunch and kept track of who was in attendance.
PDG Clarence Parkins was our Greeter.
The meeting was called to order by President Paul Schubert.
PDG Sam Anderson led us in the salute to the flag of our Country. 
Pat Braziel broke the long standing tradition of singing God Bless America by leading us in “My Country, 'Tis of Thee", also known as "America".  FYI this is an American patriotic song, whose lyrics were written by Samuel Francis Smith.  The melody used is the same as that of the national anthem of the United Kingdom, "God Save the Queen", arranged by Thomas Arne. The song served as one of the de facto national anthems of the United States (along with songs like "Hail, Columbia" before the adoption of "The Star-Spangled Banner" as the official anthem in 1931).  Isn’t the internet wonderful!
Mother Teresa provided our thought for the day, “Spread Love everywhere you go.  Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.”
We had neither Visiting Rotarians nor Guests.  What is up with that?
Dave and Jan offered us Garden Salad, Sautéed Carrots and Zucchini, Rigatoni, Grilled Chicken Breasts, French bread, Butter, Cookies for dessert and Lemonade as our lunch.
May 7 – How to Use Club Runner Seminar
May 9 – Rotarians At Work – River Bend Park - B Street Sponsors Recognition.  Make both if you can!
May 16 - 5 in 1 Seminar at Marriott at UC Med Center and I-Fest in Rancho Cordova
May 26 – Dark – Do Not Show Up for the Meeting                                                                                
June 7 – 2015 Rotary Day at the River Cats                                                                                            
June13 – Demotion – Be there or be square!!!!!
The Rotary Club of Rancho Cordova won the “Governor’s Award” at the District Conference for meeting or exceeding all District Goals during the current Rotary year.   Yea Team!!!!!!!
Jerry Foote announced that he has new Rotary pins with magnetic backs (ain’t technology great) for only $4.00.
Dr. Merlin Mauk drew a white golf ball and the crowd cheered as the pot grew.
PDG Clarence Parkins was The Sarge.  He needed two bagmen, Ross Johnson and Steve Forseth to collect his blood money.
Mike Passof, Ross Johnson, Tom Redmon and President Paul Schubert all paid for being improperly dressed in public, or not wearing a Rotary pin while out and about.
Melody Mayer and Bob MacBee contributed for taking their badges home with them.
PDG Sam Anderson and Joe Scheimer shelled out for having birthdays, which is a whole lot better than not having one.
Gary Spainhower, Sean Twilla and Brett Schreiner all contributed, very happily I might add, for their anniversaries.
Brett coughed up a whole Taka Hara for being late and having the above mentioned anniversary.
Ross Johnson volunteered that he was fined while making up in Maui, bragged about RCC and Kids Day and paid accordingly.
President Paul paid as his son is not out of the hospital.
John Chapman and Pat Murphy both volunteered “Happy Bucks” because they were happy.  There must be something going on there but I will not follow up.
Neil Orchard contributed to honor the passing of Dayo Hagan and will follow up with information on the Celebration of Dayo’s Life.
Beth Walter actually played golf locally instead of gallivanting off to some exotic course.  She paid.
Joe Scheimer let us know that Dev Khangura is recovering in the hospital after having surgery that included that included the insertion of a stint.  Get well soon Dev!!!
Navin Naik introduced our speaker for today, Elaine Mayumi Whitefeather, Executive Director of A Community for Peace who, in turn, introduced Gloria Martinelli, Chief Operating Officer of Foundation for Peaceful Communities. 
Ms Whitefeather kicked off her presentation by letting us know that she was a survivor of child, teen and adult domestic violence.  She then proceeded to tell of the need and what is being done to create, develop and establish the organization she heads.  First, 1 in 3 women are the victim of domestic violence.  1 in 4 men suffer the same fate.
Domestic violence is not a marital issue; it is an issue of power and control.
Domestic violence was not criminalized until 1983.
Some local 2008-2014 statistics for the timeframe for just her organization:
16,021 Crisis Line calls                  356 Shelter Guests                            4,967 Shelter Bed Nights
3,133 Walk-Ins                              2,228 Legal Services                          3,488 Counseling Groups
Her future plans are based on the model established by the very successful Delancy Street operation in San Francisco.  With motto of “Don’t do it for me, teach me how to do it for myself”, she is submitting a business plan and a request to establish a facility in Rancho Cordova. 
Ms Whitefield signed a book to be donated to the Rancho Cordova Library.
There being no further business the meeting was adjourned.
The following members of the Rotary Club of Rancho Cordova have become Sustaining Paul Harris Fellows in The Rotary Foundation this year and are hereby recognized for their contribution.
Dr. Bob Adam
Sam Anderson
Chase Armer
Pat Braziel
John Chapman
Brud Dufficy
Jerry Foote
Steve Forseth
Dennis Frierson
Ted Gaebler
Curt Haven
Ross Johnson
Dev Khangura
Merlin Mauk
Melody Mayer
Tracy McLinn
Bob McBee
Ross McCarty
Pat Murphy
Naik Navin
Neil Orchard
Pat Orelli
Clarence Parkins
Mike Passof
Tom Redmon
Joe Scheimer
Paul Schubert
Jerry Smuts
Gary Spainhower
Sean Twilla
Beth Walter
Beler Watts
Ray Wyatt
Congratulations to all of the above.  Please join this group as soon as you can.  You can go online to Rotary International and use your credit card or you can contact PDG Clarence Parkins who will take your cash, check, credit card.  With a VISA card and about $87.00 a month, you too can become a Paul Harris Sustaining Member.
Do it now and you will feel better about yourself and everything else in your life.
Due to earth's gravity it is impossible for mountains to be higher than 15,000 meters.
5-5-15 Newsletter 2015-05-07 00:00:00Z 0
Posted by Brud Dufficy

Doubletree at Rohnert Park

Come join us at the 2015 District 5180 Conference April 24-26, 2015 at the Schulz Museum.  
Keynote speakers will include Kitty O'Neal and Brian Shul. 
In addition there will be a Golf Outing, wine tasting . . . and much more!


5180 DISTRICT CONFERENCE at Rohnert Park on April 24-26, 2015 Brud Dufficy 2015-04-24 00:00:00Z 0
District Conference at Rohnert Park on April 24-26, 2015 Brud Dufficy 2015-04-24 00:00:00Z 0
Copy of 3-31-15 Newsletter 2015-04-01 00:00:00Z 0
Rancho Rotary Crab Feed February 21- St John Vianney Brud Dufficy 2015-02-21 00:00:00Z 0
Rancho Cordova Charter/Foundation Night- January 30 Brud Dufficy 2015-01-30 00:00:00Z 0
Christmas Party 2015-01-09 00:00:00Z 0
Dictionary Distribution Project Brud Dufficy 2015-01-09 00:00:00Z 0
Posted by Kevin Spease on Mar 19, 2013

You can... eradicate polio, promote peace, feed hungry and help children do better in school... With us, you can do ANYTHING!

You can... Kevin Spease 2013-03-20 00:00:00Z 0
Interact: The future of Rotary... Kevin Spease 2013-03-19 00:00:00Z 0
We're THIS close to changing the world Kevin Spease 2013-03-18 00:00:00Z 0
2013 Rotary Crab Feed Melody Granger-Mayer 2013-02-16 00:00:00Z 0
Posted by Joe Scheimer on Jul 03, 2012
Are you interested in giving back to your community and being involved in the world's best non-profit organization?  We have a great group of forty Rotarians that would love to meet and host you at one of our Tuesday luncheons.  We have a lot of projects planned for Rotary's new year, both in our community and world-wide.
Interested in Rotary? Joe Scheimer 2012-07-04 00:00:00Z 0
Welcome to the Rancho Cordova Rotary Club's new website! Joseph Scheimer 2012-07-04 00:00:00Z 0
Posted by Brud Dufficy



Our International Services Chairman (Joe Scheimer) is on the ball-
 we helped sponsor this !!!


Hi all,

I have the most incredible news to share with you all.  The Bangladesh Tube Well project, MG #75964, has been completed and as the email below from Sara Mercer, RI, states, it is being forwarded for closure.

This was a huge endeavor and I want you to know that Amerul Islam, Barisal Rotary Club in Bangladesh, has done a tremendous job completing all the requirements.  After all the tube wells were installed, platforms built, arsenic testing completed, plaques installed, etc. there were still a number of reports, letters, etc. that were required to close out the MG.  Amerul did an outstanding job and I would like to give a special thanks to him for all his efforts.

MG #75964 was originally meant to be a 3 year project but Amerul completed the installation of the tube wells by the end of 2 years and he also came in under-budget.  He requested approval from RI to do another 2 tube wells in order to use the remaining funds.  All in all, he is such an incredible project manager that he exceeded all projections of time and money.  

Because of this wonderful partnership, Ralph is currently writing a new application for a Global Grant to once again do more tube wells to provide virtually arsenic-free water to 10,000 people in Bangladesh.  

Such wonderful teamwork by all of you and congratulations for a job well done, Amerul!  And I want to thank all of you that helped sponsor.  Please thank your clubs for their support for a wonderful, successful conclusion to a matching grant. 

Your friend, 
Kathy Clemens
Rotary Club of Roseville, Ca. 




The Bangladesh Tube Well project Brud Dufficy 0
Rancho Partnership in SAVE THE RAIN GLOBAL GRANT Brud Dufficy 0
Posted by Kevin Spease
We've started a Facebook page!  You'll find photos of our members in action - doing things we are passionate about: helping to improve literacy, reduce hunger and much more in Rancho Cordova and across the globe.  Check it out and... be sure to "Like" us.
Follow us on Facebook Kevin Spease 0
Posted by Joseph Scheimer
ClubRunner secures all your private information using the latest security technologies. Hosted in a world class data centre with redundant power, Internet backbones and 24/7 security and monitoring, you can rest assured that your club data is safe and protected. Your members' contact information is secured behind unique logins and passwords. Access to information is also restricted, for example, a member can only view the list of members, but can modify his or her own personal information.

Data on the server is protected by TCP/IP filtering, firewall and anti-virus software that protect against any unauthorized intrusion. Backups of data are made daily and stored off-site.

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