Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous. Winston Churchill loved them.
1. Where there's a will - I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you…but it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until they speak.
4. If I agreed with you…we'd both be wrong!
5. We never really grow up…we just learn how to behave in public.
6. War does not determine who is right…it only determines who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a dessert.
8. To steal words from one person is plagiarism, to steal from many is "research".
9. In filling out an application, where it said "in case of accident notify", I wrote "a doctor".
10. I didn't say it was your fault…I just said I was blaming you.
11. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need one to skydive twice.
12. I used to de indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.
13. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
14. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
15. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to fine one now.
