Have you explored the rich world of Rotary Media information? April is magazine month and may be just the time to find in the RI web site links to "The Rotarian", "Rotary World" and details of the 27 regional magazines published for Rotarians all around the world.
An application for membership in the Rotary Club of Warrnambool has been received from Isobel Siebel with the proposed classification of Social Services. Isobel Siebel manages the provision of support services to disabled and aged clients at Lyndoch Living, Warrnambool. If no objections are received within seven days the induction of Isobel Siebel will proceed at a time convenient to all concerned.
President John Hunt welcomed everyone to the meeting especially club guests, Jakob Stennet, Jessie Sheppard, Isobel Siebel, visiting Rotarian Lois O'Meara and of course our one and only exchange student Fabio.
Birthday Cake was cut by Alan Bowes, and we all wished him a very Happy Birthday.
Duncan Stalker
Duncan received two letters to pass onto Fabio. One was an article in the Age about Miss Universe Australia, who mentioned Fabio in the article and the other was a photo from an admirer.
John Reid is at St John's Hospital in room 4. If you would like to see John, now would be good as he can have visitors.
Ron Rauert - visited his daughter in Newcastle and the wineries in in the Hunter Valley and bought back a bottle of Woolambine wine to auction. Keith auctioned off the bottle to Roy for $30.
Roy Slater - promoted a fundraising dinner for Inner Wheel, on Friday 9 May. $50 per person for 2 courses. They are fundraising for Core Blood research and the guest speaker will be Professor Graeme Jenkins. RSVP by 2 May to Margy Brown (see attached flyer).
Fabio's "Another Brick in the Wall" fundraiser went really well. He raised $685.00 and thanked all Club members for their generosity and support. Rotarians Trevor Williams and Ian Sharman were the raffle winners.
Vocational Services - Gordon Curran advised that on 15 May the Deakin and TAFE awards of $1,000 will be given to a second or third year student who is progressing steadily in their course. Other considerations for the award are involvement in community service and financial difficulties which may prevent them continuing with their studies.
The Science & Engineering Challenge is set for Tuesday 17 June at Sherwood Park. Eight schools will be involved and it is run to encourage year 10 students to think about science and engineering as a career option in years 11 and 12. Students work in teams trying to solve engineering problems. The cost of running the day is $6000 and the equipment comes from the University of Newcastle.
The RYLA dinner will be held on Thursday 17 April at Kangaroobie. Dinner starts at 6:30 pm and cost is around $20.00. If anyone is interested in attending, they need to contact Rachel on 0438 079 736 by 12 April or the Rotary Club of Camperdown by 16 April.
150 Year Framlingham Aboriginal Reserve Anniversary Celebrations - 3-4 volunteers are needed to assist with parking. Please contact Anne Adams if you can assist. Times 10:00 am till 1:00 pm and 1:00 pm till 4:00 pm.
Centurion Contributions - Richard Hawker asks that all Centurions (those who have voluntarily agreed to donate $100 annually) make their contribution for this year to Rotary’s own charity, the Rotary Foundation, and suggested that other members might like to consider starting to contribute to Rotary Foundation which assists in so many great projects.
Oxfam Walk Against Want - volunteer walkers and sponsors are invited to attend the Oxfam Walk from the Woollen Mills west along the new bike and walking path beside the Merri on Sunday April 13. Contact John Nisbet for more information.
NO ROTARY MEETING ON TUESDAY 29 APRIL as there will be a combined club's breakfast meeting on 1 May at the Mid City Hotel from 6:50 am until 8:30 am. See flyer below.
SUNDAY 4 MAY DISTRICT ASSEMBLY AT STAWELL
A bus has been arranged for our club. All club members are encouraged to come along and enjoy some fellowship and get updates on what's happening in Rotary. Please let President Elect Marie Bennett know if you can come at next week's meeting.
Terry O'Neill introduced our two nominees to RYLA. The RYLA program covers leadership skills and issues, public speaking and communication skills, goal setting and motivation, development of self-confidence and self-esteem and also provides career guidance. It is a great opportunity for young adults to take part in what many past participants describe as a life changing experience.
Jessie Sheppard, 24, is employed and sponsored by South West Credit. David Brown and his team at South West Credit have been great supporters of RYLA with number of staff taking part in the program. Jessie was in hospitality and is excited about her career change into finance and is grateful for the opportunity to participate in RYLA.
Jakob Stennet, 18, attended the first International Young Carers Congress in Vancouver a couple of years ago. He and other young carers spoke about everyday issues they encountered in caring for a family member. He is doing year 12 this year, and works at Aquazone as a life guard and gym instructor. He enjoys sports in his free time and thanked Rotary for the opportunity to attend the program.
Effervescent Bath Capsules: 10 parts of tartaric acid, 9 parts of sodium bicarbonate, 6 parts of rice flower. Can be used as a powder or compressed into capsule or tablet form. Mix with alcohol to dampen before compressing.
Hand Lotion: Dissolve by heat 1 drachm boric acid and 6 drachms glycerine. Let it cool, then mix with 6 drachms of lanolin and 1 oz of petrolatum. Add perfume as desired.
How do recorders keep their faces straight in court?
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court,... word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you sh***ing me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left? **************************** Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says
'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer up and placed it in front of the monitor,
but the computer still says it can't find it. **************************** Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11. **************************** Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: ! ! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. **************************** Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars. **************************** Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer… **************************** Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer,
but every time I move the mouse, it disappears. **************************** Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first email.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it? **************************** A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the
cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.' **************************** Tech support: 'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: 'P'.... on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT, THE OFFICE IS FULL OF YOUNG FEMALES!
Rotarians: 33 = 67.35%
President John Hunt welcomed everyone to the meeting especially club guests, Jakob Stennet, Jessie Sheppard, Isobel Siebel, visiting Rotarian Lois O'Meara and of course our one and only exchange student Fabio.
Terry O'Neill introduced our two nominees to RYLA. The RYLA program covers leadership skills and issues, public speaking and communication skills, goal setting and motivation, development of self-confidence and self-esteem and also provides career guidance. It is a great opportunity for young adults to take part in what many past participants describe as a life changing experience.
Effervescent Bath Capsules: 10 parts of tartaric acid, 9 parts of sodium bicarbonate, 6 parts of rice flower. Can be used as a powder or compressed into capsule or tablet form. Mix with alcohol to dampen before compressing.