JEST JOKIN

Tech support:   What kind of computer do you have?
Customer:    A white one...
Tech support:    Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer:    Your left or my left?
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Customer:   Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.   Every time I try, it says

'Can't find printer'.  I've even lifted the printer up and placed it in front of the monitor,

but the computer still says it can't find it.
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Tech support:   What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer:   A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support:   Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: ! !   OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer:  Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
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Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support:   Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure.  I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support:   Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer…
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Customer:    I have a huge problem.  A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer,

but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
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Tech support:   How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first email.
Tech support:   OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?
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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.  The man sitting in the

cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'
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Tech support: 'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time.  That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.  Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech  support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: 'P'.... on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT, THE OFFICE IS FULL OF YOUNG FEMALES!