Why should you never trust stairs?
They’re always up to something.
Why did the bullet end up losing his job?
He got fired.
How do you measure a snake?
In inches—they don’t have feet.
What does a house wear?
Address!
Why are toilets always so good at poker?
They always get a flush.
You heard the rumor going around about butter?
Never mind, I shouldn’t spread it.
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
How does NASA organize a party?
They planet.