The Lahaina Story by Ross Johnson

Hush, children... this will be short because your poor editor's back hurts and he's going to rest.  Well, what a surprise... the chairs were more or less full today, and it was for a good reason: as soon as I learn it, I promise to pass it on.

 

 

 

  The phantom greeter was in attendance again today, but to his credit, President Paul started the festivities off at precisely 1215 hrs, as noted by Ross Johnson's accurate wrist watch (yes, friends, Ross has a wrist watch... where has he been?)  It fell to young Bill Marlow to lead the Pledge and when Bill charged forward with a hearty "I...", it turned into a cakewalk.

 

 

  Songleader for Life Gary Spainhower did a creditable job leading the chorus as usual and since there were no guests or visitors, we went directly to the slide where we get to contemplate self-improvement.  Today's special had something to do with eating something, and propriety does not allow your editorial staff to recount it here.  Good start.

 

 

As is our practice of late, we jumped right into announcements and here they are:

 

 

 

A note of explanation/exhortation requested by Club Leadership regarding Rotarians at Work Day this Friday: (Let's try to help out Mike and the Club by going out and helping to maintain and safeguard our Mather wetlands.)

 

Once the announcing was complete, we finally  got to dive into a delicious meal: the chateaubriand we had in the back row was exquisite.  The front row appeared to like their spaghetti as well.

 

 

Next up was Sarge at Arms Chase Armer, capably assisted by bagboy Mike Passof and they managed to raise some serious coin; Takehara's were flying all over the room.  Leading off was the standard pins and badges test, which was failed by none other than Pat Orelli and President Paul (are you as shocked as me?)  The Sarge his very own self then chipped in some drachmas for missing a buttload of meetings and then the happy dollars began to flow. 

 

 

Your poor reporter paid for a recent trip to Kansas City and the recent relocation of his office; Ross Johnson paid for his sojourn in Hawaii (making up at the Lahaina Sunrise Club, which serves mai-tai's for breakfast, I hear).   It turns out that Steve Forseth's grandson is part of the best youth jazz band in the nation and was recognized for their music, and of course Steve was recognized for bringing his wallet to the meeting.   Brud Dufficy had apparently gotten a CD of Steve's grandson's music and lost it, so he paid.  Ray then admitted that he had been married for 26 or 27 years and Kelly is celebrating their second honeymoon in Mexico as Ray strives, I guess, to pay for it.  Good fences make good neighbors.

 

 

  Gary Spainhower's fourth daughter getting engaged to be married caused Gary to inadvertently pull his wallet out.  Congrats, Gary.  Perhaps one of the bigger surprises of the day came when Clarence announced that he is about to become a great grandfather for the first time.  Since Clarence is only 46, it suggests that the Parkins are fast movers.  Well, he said he was 46...  The few remaining folk in the crowd who had not self-confessed were treated to a traditional Cinco de Mayo quiz.  As you will recall, Cinco de Mayo is the huge holiday that celebrates the invention of Miracle Whip, or somesuch.  Quiet returned to the room and the Sarge then retired to his seat.  Good job.

 

 

 

Our guest speaker was our very own Ross Johnson, who noted that this month is Youth Services Month, and his talk was devoted to talking about the variety of things we do in support of community youth.  Here's the list: 1. 4th of July Parade gives Rotarians a chance to eat stale straw and wave the flag; 2. the annual Dictionary Project hands out over 500 dictionaries every year to R.C. 3rd graders;

 

 

3. B Street Theater Fantasy Festival teaches 4th graders how to structure and write plays; 4. we support the District Human Trafficking project; 5. the Food Locker; 6. the Speech Contest; 7. Kids' Day in the Park (our Rotary Community Corps effort); 8. Scholarships; 9. Rotary Youth Leadership Awards (RYLA); 10. Easter Egg Hunt at Hagan Park.  It was a good review and someone in the audience noted that we're doing more today with fewer members than 20 years ago and still carrying out effective youth programs.  Nicely done, Ross.

 

With that, the Prez forced Ross to sign a book and as the bell rang out, the room cleared faster than Big Daddy Don Garlits at the NHRA Winternationals.  Google it.