Milton Kiang introduced our guest speaker, Vindy Teja who he met 10 years ago at a BNI event and have been friends since. Vindy is a graduate of The University of British Columbia and Western Law School, and following her call to the B.C. Bar, she discovered her coaching passion as Career Development Director at Western Law School, where she also wrote a comprehensive legal career resource manual.
Now, life often throws us unique challenges, and Vindy has most definitely had her share of ups and downs. This included personal and career challenges, and having to deal with often debilitating self-doubts that resulted in a personal journey of deconstructing what happiness really meant for her
Vindy gave thanks for the invitation to speak. Handout received with questions – for your reference and to use during the talk.
A few years ago, Vindy adopted the title of the talk as a personal philosophy. All of us have most likely had the experience of being denied change from vending machines. Change is inevitable. The proof is not only everywhere in Vindy’s own life, but everywhere around us.
Some change is really difficult to navigate, some have lost their significance. Life is characterized by a lot of change. Understand that.
Within the space of 4 years, Vindy lost her father, endured multiple fertility treatments, lost 2nd baby during pregnancy, and divorced (not amicably). Having always been the goody two shoes, following all the rules and expecting things to go as planned, she had to find a way to focus quickly while in the throes of all the adversity she was experiencing to continue to thrive and ultimately succeed.
#1 lesson, change is inevitable
Accepting this was a process, but liberating. Understanding that not if, but when & where change will occur, and how to prepare. This helped to deal with her grief. She leaned on those who loved and cared for her. She sought out resources, helped to process emotions and identify the areas that needed fixing. Reinforced her values. Definitely emerged more determined and strong individual.
#2 Change is like a muscle
The more you exercise it, the stronger it gets. Inevitably you will find that you can become more and more comfortable with changes as they came along. The unexpected bonus Vindy found was a better sense of humour. After the crying is done, laughter takes over. With time comes perspective, with perspective comes an ability to see the lighter side of things.
#3 Change is a chance to grow
Look for the opportunities and the beauty that lay within change. Rather than Why Me, adopt Try Me, or What’s Here For Me approach. While in the midst of the struggle, realize that circumstances can leave you stronger, wiser, and more loving. Get to a point to be able to look back and recognize the opportunities that have been presented to you.
Find ways to share learning. Vindy found opportunities for a new endeavor as a professional coach, try to shift people’s thinking. Her YOLO: Essential Life Hacks for Happiness book became another tool and vehicle to share solutions with people. You only live once, make the most of it.
In the midst of covid and black-lives matter she has gone back to hacks. Happiness hacks. Mindset happiness hacks:
- QTIP (quit taking it personally)
- THINK, true, helpful, insiring, necessary, kind?
- GIVING BACK by helping others we help ourselves
Happiness is not about smiling 24/7. Not about avoiding problems, insecurities, doubts – those will always come. It’s about knowing how to handle it. This can lead to experiencing a type of emotional freedom and spiritual release that enable opportunities to improve life and level of happiness.
Many are struggling with all the changes that are occurring now – a lot is about authenticity, be honest with your kids, with yourself. In the case of our youth, don’t jump to solutions, listen carefully to them first. We all need to be heard.
In closing, look for new ideas that come with change. Ideas that will empower you to find your happiness, feed it, maintain it.
The focus of Vindy’s book,
YOLO: Essential Life Hacks for Happiness, is to break down the puzzle of happiness into smaller parts. Mindful living and self development. Originated because of a health scare, written for her daughter. Guide for anyone going through transition.
CLICK HERE to access via Amazon
