Local Essay Winner Femi presents at District Conference

STRESS REDUCER

By Femi Tunde-Oladepo

Life nowadays seems to be getting busier and busier by the second. People are constantly in a rush to get somewhere or are trying to complete their tasks at a faster rate. Many do not even have time to consider the consequences of their meal choices on their personal health let alone the way their actions are affecting others. This, in my opinion, is especially present among a large number of youth. With the amount of emotional, social and educational pressure that seems to surround us, it is no surprise that we are not always the kindest. Does it not seem a world of a lot easier to continue rushing through the day than to have to pause and think critically before we act? Yes, life does present situations where it appears to be easier to lie, to be unfair, to not care and   disregard the negative effects our actions may have, but it does not mean an attempt should not be made to try to better ourselves. Though many high school students may  not realize it, there are little things we do each day that, if the reasoning method of Four-Way Test were applied, could result in positive outcomes for all.

Saying what is true can be extremely difficult. Telling a little white lie or “not exactly revealing the truth” makes lying look effortless when compared to professing the truth. Lies, whether big or small, are not honest expressions. Not doing your homework is not the same as forgetting it at home or completing it while the teacher comes around to check it.  It can be so embarrassing and disappointing when you have to have to say “I did not finish it” to a teacher. I remember being extremely worried as I walked into one of my class’s last year. I had been instantly washed in dread when I saw the other students pulling out pink sheets for our projects. These sheets, which our teacher has specifically said to bring to class, were especially needed on that very day. There was no way I was going to be able to evade the situation; I needed the handout to complete the assignment. It took a lot of courage but I finally was able to walk up to my instructor and tell her I had completely forgotten it at home. To my surprise, she told me that she appreciated my honesty and photocopied me another paper.  It was a lot more encouraging to re-discover that honesty does not always lead to punishment. In fact, being sincere in situations such as homework checks and projects and papers is actually less stressful than spinning a complicated web of lies.

Probably as tough as or tougher than continuously telling the truth is attempting to do what is fair. Again, school distributes many situations when not thinking about others is perceived as the shortcut. I have done this with my friends and have never really thought much about the person standing behind me: cutting in the cafeteria line.  This most likely has a bigger impact than I think. My desire for food definitely does not exceed anyone else’s so why should I be jumping ahead in the line?  So I can get my food just a little bit earlier than everyone else?  In the moment, walking in front of someone who has been waiting in line does not give an impression that anything is wrong. It is essentially no big deal. However, even though the person behind you is not complaining, they are probably a little upset. Especially on days when there is a pizza lunch, having someone move ahead of you can be the difference between getting none or only one slice. It is hard to think about it in that way until it happens to you. I know I get furious when an individual takes my position in a line yet sometimes I forget to recollect that memory when I repeat the scene. If we were able to empathize with others more often, maybe we would be able to adopt fairer actions.

With bullying being the immense issue that it is, you would think that people would be putting their best effort forward in order to try and create a safer high school community. Unfortunately, the goodwill of others is not always on the mind- including mine. I would love to blame it on the “girl” gene in me but alas gossiping is a way I, and many other girls, add fuel to fire. Saying awful things about someone is just that-awful. But sometimes the damage is hard to see, especially in moments when surrounded by a group of friends who are all doing the same thing.  I have seen the harm that bad-mouthing can do. It can completely destroy relationships and can emotionally puncture the subject of the topic.   If the student population were to refrain from spreading untruths, it could allow for more friendships to prosper.

We live in a world that, in a way, encourages vanity. Ads are placed just about everywhere, from our electronic devices to the bus stations, pushing us to spend and acquire more. Every so often, we can get seriously tangled up in ourselves, our processions and our emotions. We can spend so much time trying to satisfy our own needs that we do not think of the residual wave of effects.  Take for instance, the downloading of songs without purchasing them.  Countless within and outside the high school community do it. Why? It is simply because music is what we want. Just because “everyone is doing it” does not make it any more right or any less harmful to others. If our thoughts were extended beyond the personal benefits and out to the bigger picture then perhaps our actions would be different. Yes, it is true, we get free music but how does this assist the industry? How does this properly support our favourite artists? It is clear that stealing someone’s music is in no way going to benefit them.

Outlined were just a small number of the everyday behaviours I find that my peers and I do not seem to think about; some of these habits have become natural, like reflexes. In addition, there does not appear to be enough minutes or seconds in the day to consistently do what is right.  However, if a conscious effort was made to think before acting, I believe the school environment would be a happier one.  If students were to take five seconds out of their time to ask themselves about the honesty, fairness and overall effect of their proposed action, I sense that better decisions would be made. It would start in the classroom and extend into the community. I suggest that a quick examination of the questions in the Four Way test paired with a walk in someone else’s shoes is the root to a more content and stress free high school life.