Our June 5, 2019 meeting began with President Joe celebrating that he only has 3 meetings left and then insisting that it really has been fun. I always regret when fun things are about to come to an end instead of celebrating their impending termination. Speaking of celebrating, I only have to write the Tack for 3 more weeks at which time I am sure President Elect, Fausto, has someone lined up to take my place. I am gladly counting the weeks.
Joe switched things up a little and had Joe B. lead us in the invocation after the Pledge of Allegiance. Joe started with such a long dramatic pause I turned around to start CPR and then realized he was just looking for a little divine guidance. Jim Labelle followed with his attempt at leading us in the Four Way Test which went fine as long as no one stood in front of the numbers. Apparently, Jim has not yet memorized First through Fourth.
Our President Elect, Fausto, again appeared and introduced James Audiffred’s guests, David and Chris Dilly who apparently invented Bud Light. Actually, you may recall that David Dilly is a climatologist of some acclaim who spoke to our club about his opinion that we are not experiencing man aided climate change, but instead we are in a very long climate cycle that the earth has seen before. By analogy, Jackie Bradley Jr. is not in a batting slump, he is in a poor batting cycle that he should come out of in about 1,000 years.
Announcements were limited. President Joe let us know that the Board of Directors approved Paul Deschambault changing to the Rule of 85 status. That either means that Paul is claiming he is 85 years old or be feels like he is 85 years out or he is a combination of 65 years old and he has been in the club for at least 20 years. James Audiffred claims he has qualified for the Rule of 105.
Jim McAllister won the 50/50 drawing and quietly gave the money to Jim Godbout as our Sergeant at Arms bagman. I am sure you were as shocked as I was to notice that Jim M. did something quietly.
Matt Simmons was apparently kidnapped while substitute teaching and glued naked to the Noble High School’s flag pole. He has since been covered up and they are hoping the combination of the sun and rain will dissolve the Superglue. In the meantime, our newly designated Sergeant at Arms, Heether, Hester, Harriot or Henrietta MacLean, not to be confused with Mclean, McLean, Mayor McCheese or Mack the Knife, took the podium to find out who was happy. For the second week in a row people took pity on Heather M. and at least feigned happiness, including:
- James Audiffred gave $5.00 happy dollars because his son’s wife had a baby on his son’s birthday (follow that if you can) and he was happy to have the inventors of Bud Light with him as guests.
- Dr. Joe got a personal invite to the cliquey table.
- Chris Dilly was happy to be here because it was too hot in Florida to which David Dilly immediately responded claiming it was a cyclical pattern in Florida and not global warming caused by greenhouse gases. It must be fun to watch the weather in their house.
- Joe B. was in New Bedford, Mass. for one of his granddaughter’s graduations.
- Jim Godbout was happy that he had the opportunity to speak to 250 current high school students at a USM conference about making good choices in life. Of course, he also put a pitch in for the trades while USM’s enrollment is declining. See if he’ll be invited back.
- Carl was happy to honor the brave military personnel who lost their lives during D Day 75 years ago.
- Jeremy Ray was happy that he won Heather M’s sail cloth bag in absentia on Foundation Day and he was going to bring it back because he heard others were disappointed in not getting it but his wife heard he won it so it was gone. Heather M. came to the rescue and gave another identical bag (I thought it was a one of a kind) to Sabine.
- Sabine’s gave a sad dollar on her father’s birthday as her Dad passed away last year, but his gift to her enabled her to purchase a property about which she was happy.
- Ray Demers gave 6 happy dollars for being in the Club 6 years and for his retirement from the police force after 35 years.
The fabulous Ms. Heather M. then fined Jackson for missing a meeting. If we reverted to that old practice we would never have to do another fundraiser. She fined President Joe for no belt. Again, if we fined him each week for that wardrobe malfunction we would be way ahead financially. She also fined President Joe for the company name “Precision Screw”. I am not sure why. She was too afraid to fine Denis Elie, but she did not hesitate to fine me for my fine wardrobe or the fact that I have spelled her name incorrectly for weeks. I promise you that will end in 3 weeks.
Brian Dallaire then announced that we were $168.00 short of our $7,000 annual foundation goal. Who the heck gave $2.00? In any event Fausto agreed to contribute the rest to get to our goal and then others starting throwing money at Brian. Did I mention he was dancing on a chair? So far, 60% of the club has donated to the foundation. Heather Gendron (did I spell that right?) in the true spirit of Rotary, apparently channeling Paul Deschambault, suggested we cheat and put in a dollar for everyone else. Now I know why bankers have a bad reputation and she doesn’t even work at a credit union. If you have not given and you would like to legitimately give to get us up to 100% participation you can give on line or you can give your contribution to Brian “Bubbles” Dallaire.
Otherwise, it was a so-called open meeting which is what a lame duck president calls a meeting when he doesn’t give a damn anymore. I do want to make one last pitch to have as many members attend the next two meetings as possible. I realize I may be just beating my fingers against my keyboard but please try to attend the June 12 and 19 meetings. On June 12 we will have Past President’s Day when we get to thank our past presidents for creating the huge coattails of a great club that President Joe got to ride on. On June 19 our club gets to thank both people in and outside our club for their good work in helping our communities and people in need by honoring them with our annual awards. At the same time President Joe gets to give out his club awards. Please, please try and make both of those meetings if you can.
Three weeks to go but who’s counting?
