I am writing this Tack but I have no idea whether anyone will ever see it due to technical difficulties which may render it impossible for any of you to ever see it so I might as well write it like I am talking to myself.
Joe called the meeting to order. Huh, every week he tells us what week number it is like he can’t wait to get done. That seems inherently inconsistent with his assertions that the job is not that hard and everyone should run for President. While it is not the hardest thing anyone will ever do you can actually work hard at the job if you want to.
Lucie Kay did the four way test. My God did she join Rotary last week? It’s not that hard and she was reading it. I swear she had to sound out each number. Oh, I forgot, English is her second language.
Joe Bassett did the prayer. Man is he good at that or what? It’s almost like he has been doing it his whole life.
Conrad introduced visiting Rotarians and guests including Joe Boyle who must have 200% attendance.
Presidential Announcements: President Joe reminded us that we will be doing a hands on project with the Kiwanis Club on May 11 at a time and place to be announced. Jackson indicated the project will take about 2 hours and we are putting together 10,000 meals. Let me see if I can do the math (can you tell I was not really listening?). If 25 Rotarians show up (doubtful) and 25 Kiwanis show up we will have 50 people. That means we each will need to put together 200 meals in two hours or one meal every 36 seconds. I hope we have the Barber foods assembly line to work on.
Jackson was able to confirm the Elks Lodge on Ocean Park Rd., Saco for Saturday, May 11 from 9-12:30 or so for the meal packing project. The actual meal packing will start around 10 and it takes about 2 hours or less to finish 10,000 meals!
They have tables there, so It should be relatively easy to set up.
I hope you can all make it.
I got to live auction Sabine’s book bag and David Howard’s (ask Heather McLean who he is but don’t ask Heather G) book. Doing a live auction at our club is like doing a live auction at a funeral home. It’s like trying to sell ice cubes to Eskimos who don’t drink. No one bids and no one wants to make eye contact. Well the bag and book sold for $1,000, not bad. If you believe that I have a bridge to auction off next week.
Joe acknowledged that parking continues to be a problem and suggested that perhaps someone might want to find another place for us to meet. I suspect we will just have to put up with the parking issues which will be compounded by the new apartments being built. Urban planning at its best.
Sargent at Arms:
Matt Simmons took to the podium with his copious notes related to fines. I don’t have any idea how he finds the time to prepare like that before every meeting (sarcasm, yes) and I can’t imagine how he has exceeded his budget. Has he been getting the Red Ribbon money? I guess we are all happier than we have been in the past so he gets a lot of happy dollars each week. Some examples include:
- Matt being over budget (I want an audit)
- Dr. Joe being our visitor with the best attendance (Christ, he has better attendance than 80% of the people actually in our club)
- Sara Brouillard announced that she and her husband are expecting a baby boy. Not sure why Sara is not listed on our website these days.
- Peggy Bean gave a happy dollar for going to the COT and indicated that there were not that many Rotarians there. We were supposed to meet that the COT today, but the meeting was postponed so there shouldn’t have been any Rotarians there. What is she talking about? Oh, Peggy was talking about our meeting at the Biddeford Middle School which probably looks a lot like the COT absent the garage doors, a house in progress and a bunch of tools.
- Ken Farley announced that his daughter was accepted at Bishops University in Lenoxville, Quebec from which my two sons graduated. That’s very cool.
- I announced that Heather McLean was in a TV ad for our bank and got paid a little stipend which she donated to the club. Nice touch Heather.
- Julie V. apologized for not being able to get the Tack out to everyone which means most of you probably won’t be able to read this anyway so why am I typing?
- Steve Morin will break his attendance streak when he goes on vacation next week to Texas. I can see Steve at a dude ranch watching the tumble weeds roll by.
- Karen Chasse gave a shout out to Sarah Neault’s Instagram page. I received a candy gram once.
Matt then fined Roland for parking on top of Lucie. She did look tired and a bit run down. He also fined Lucie for putting sugar in Roland’s pants. Those two should get a room. Finally (and I mean finally) he fined Denis for saluting the full parking lot on March 6 by indicating that the parking lot was number one if you know what I mean.
While sitting here I happened to notice the banner hanging from the podium, “Be The Inspiration”. Damn, that’s a lot of pressure. I can see being AN inspiration but to be THE inspiration is a tall order. What the hell was the RI president thinking? Well, I guess he is the RI President so maybe he is THE inspiration. I will settle for being inspired every now and then and call it good.
