Thank you to Steve Whisenhunt for inspiring us today and leading us in the Pledge of Allegiance.

Our club has a very long heritage of nonsectarian invocations.  My invocation is from a long-forgotten Rotary prayer page.

"Creator and sustainer of all that is or ever will be, accept our thanks for this day and all its blessings.  We ask that you guide and direct our Club, its leaders and our actions.  Grant that each of us may feel our responsibility to Rotary, to our community, to our country and indeed to all countries and peoples.  Bless our fellowship today and bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies, in your service.  Amen."

 

GUESTS

 

Hunter Ferry, Rotary Scholar at CSU.  Jacob Chakowski, Rotary Scholar at Mines and Hunter's friend, Peter Decherman.

 

Assistant District Governor Ken Hope.

 

SERGEANT AT ARMS

When I went in to see my doctor earlier this week for an annual check up, I thought I was feeling really good.  After doing the usual poking and prodding, the doc left the room and came back with several vials of pills.  “Here,” he said, “Take the green pill with two big glasses of water when you get up in the morning. An hour later, take the white pill with another glass of water. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Mid afternoon, take the orange pill with plenty of water, and repeat that at dinner. Then, just before going to bed, take the red pill with several big glasses of water.”  I was stunned.  “My god, doc,” I said, “what on earth is wrong with me?”  “Relax.” he said “You’re just dehydrated.”

 

Did you hear the watermelon joke?  Probably just as well… It's pitiful.

 

My friend Gene invited me over last Sunday to watch baseball, and before the game started, he served lunch.  I noticed the plate my hamburger was on had what appeared to be a film-like covering.  Despite my better intentions, I wasn’t very subtle.  “Gene, are these plates clean?”  I blurted out.  Glancing at the dishwasher, he said “They’re as clean as Dawn can get them.”  I felt somewhat reassured until I noticed my salad bowl had little black specks all around the edge.  Again subtlety failed me.  “Gene, are you sure these bowls are clean?” “Just as clean as Dawn can get them.”  So we finished lunch and settled in to watch the game.  Now I was beginning to feel a little queasy, and I normally have trouble sitting still for baseball anyway, so I excused myself and headed for the door.  Gene’s big German shepherd was lying in front of the door, and as I approached, he stared up at me and started growling.  “Gene,” I said, “Your dog won’t let me out.”  Without looking up from the TV, Gene called out: “Hey, Dawn! Come here, girl.”

 

Why is the letter T like an island?  Because it’s always in the middle of water!

 

Jim was telling me that last week one night his grandson stayed overnight with him.  Since the boy was really keyed up, excited for the sleepover at Granpa’s, it took a while to get him settled, but Jim finally took him upstairs, tucked him in, turned out the light, and returned to reading his book in the family room.   Shortly after the quiet was shattered with “Granpa! Can you get me a glass of water?” Jim replied, “No, just go to sleep.”  A minute later, his grandson called again, “Granpa! I’m really thirsty.  Can you get me a glass of water?” Starting to get a little exasperated, Jim responded, “No. I told you to go to sleep. And if I hear one more peep out of you, I may have to come up there and spank you.”  The deafening silence lasted less than thirty seconds. “Granpa! When you come up to spank me, can you bring me a glass or water?”

 

Jeff Stottler just got back from two weeks in Ireland.

 

Phil Krug went on a family trip and reunion to Indiana and Ohio.

 

Martha Diss Sundby, Jim MacDermott, Gus Achey and Bud Laber handed out back packs for the Southwest Improvement Council, one of the community groups our club supports.

 

Chris Weir was out playing golf when he realized his twins were turning six: wow! Time flies.  He was also at the Real Estate Impact Breakfast put on by the South Metro Denver Chamber of Commerce.

 

Gus Achey thanked everyone for helping with the Southwest Improvement Council back to school event.

 

Ken Hope was looking forward to attending the City of Centennial Celebration Under the Stars, hosted by his Rotary Club.

 

David McKinley said his kids were headed off to Honolulu.

 

Mike Hitchcock mentioned that our own Rocky Rauchenstein is turning a young 94.

 

Paul Bauer mentioned that Larry Zimmer will be her in two weeks and he will match the funds raised during Sergeant at Arms.