How much stress are you feeling right now? Did you buy all the presents? Get them shipped to out of town family in time? Remember the handmade crafts? The holiday letter with news about the family? The perfect picture? The perfect experience for the children or grandchildren? They grow up so fast, and you only have this ONE chance to make things perfect, right? To make this the BEST HOLIDAY EVER!

 

Oh boy! Deep breath. As Princess Elsa would tell you, it's time to LET IT GO.

 

I think I spent most of the year talking with you about what we can do for others, but you (yes, YOU, dear reader) are worthy of light and love this season. And the truth is that if you're trying to do it all and BE it all, then you're not taking care of yourself the way that you deserve. 

 

I was on the phone late last night with a friend who broke down (on social media, no less) over everything that was keeping her from enjoying a moment of peace or joy on Christmas. I offered (not seriously) to knee-cap her difficult clients, and suggested that she move her "Christmas" to Saturday.

 

Treating yourself with kindness this holiday does not mean you can't buy present or write cards. I'm asking only that you let go of the superficial and the unimportant and the unreasonable expectation of perfection and let yourself acknowledge that you only can do what you can do, and no more. The moments that will matter between now and the end of the year will be those moments you spend with the people you love or who are depending on you for comfort. (Yes, some of those people may be clients. Family lawyers and mental health professionals especially know how hard the holidays can be.) 

 

And please take time to remember and comfort the brokenhearted this season. The holidays can be so difficult for those who have lost a family member this year and face their first, or another, season without that loved one. Until you're there yourself, you'll never know how comforting a phone call or a note can be.

 

Let your light shine, and let your love grow big enough to encompass even yourself. I'll see you at the community service meeting at 11:00 a.m. and the party at 12:15 p.m. today. Or if that's too much, then don't worry about it, and I'll see you in the new year on January 10, 2020. (And with that, I'm going to let go of the unreasonable expectation that this column will ever be perfect, hit send, and move on.)