It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving 
gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held
it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers?" "That's 
right," the boy said, "but how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she 
said. The next pupil was the sweet shop owner's daughter. The teacher held 
her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box
of sweets?" "That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just 
another wild 
guess," said the teacher. The next gift was from the son of the liquor store
owner. The teacher held the package overhead, and noticed that it was 
leaking. She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and then touched 
it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with some 
excitement. The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the 
leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, 
with more excitement. The teacher took one more taste before declaring,
"I give up, what is it?" With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy." 
Speaking of Animals...
Elk Sex...
Two Norwegians are drinking in a bar.
One says, "Did you know that Elks have sex five to ten times a day?"
"Aww, shit!" says his friend, "and I just joined the Knights of Columbus!"