It was a cold rainy dark night, Mark was walking in the cemetery when three young women caught up to him.
They said " Oh thank goodness you are here, so tall, strong and handsome. We have had a girl's night out and are in flimsy clothes, drenched and cold. We decided to take a shortcut but are very scared so are happy to see you. After about fifteen minutes they came to the main road at the other end of the cemetery.
The girls said it was a comfort and all thanked Mark for being there for them. Mark said, " Yes I know how you feel. I used to be scared too when I was Alive."
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While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'
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A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out 'What have you got there, dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'
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A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room.
When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'
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Going to bed the other night, I noticed people in my shed stealing things. I phoned the police but was told no one was in the area to help. They said they would send someone over as soon as possible. I hung up.
A minute later I rang again. "Hello," I said, "I called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. You don't have to hurry now because I've shot them."
Within minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, plus helicopters and an armed response unit. They caught the burglars red-handed,
One of the officers said: "I thought you said you'd shot them."
To which I replied: "I thought you said there was no one available."
.jpg "President Stephen Bellamy")
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