Caller: 'Hi, can you connect me with Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.'
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of your user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.'
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Years ago I worked in the yard of a home improvement business. One day a man walked up to me and asked where the 2x4's were. I replied "How long do you want them?" "Well I am building a house, so I'll need them for a long time!"
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Halfway through a romantic dinner at a nice, cozy restaurant, my husband smiled and said, "You look so beautiful under these lights."
I was falling in love all over again when he added, "We gotta get some of these lights!"
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I heard about a young man who joined a silent order of monks. They could only speak two words once very 10 years. After the first ten years, the young monk came to the abbot and said, "Lousy food."
Ten years later, he said, " Lumpy bed."
And finally, after 30 years, he said, "I quit."
The abbot replied, "I'm not surprised. You've done nothing but bitch and moan ever since you got here."
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Two married men are in a pub discussing their love life when one says, "Have you ever tried playing doctor?"
His buddy says, "No. What's it like?"
The man replies, "It's amazing. Me and my wife were playing for about 10 hours."
His buddy, shocked says, "10 hours!? How the hell did you manage that long?"
"I just left her in the waiting room for 9 and a half hours."
.jpg "President Ian Mc Kay & wife Sherril")
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