Abraham wandered into Sam’s pawnshop and placed A leather coat on the counter. “How much will you give me for this jacket?”
Cam checked it over. “$20, and that’s the best”
“But that jacket is worth $100.”
Sam was adamant. “$20 or nothing.”
“Are you sure that’s all it’s worth?” pressed Abe “Positive”
“Okay,” said Abe. “Here’s your $20. The jacket was hanging in your doorway and I was wondering how much it was worth.”
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A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown, say, “That’s not it”, and put it down again.
This went on for some time until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the Army.
The soldier picked it up, smiled, and said: “That’s it.”
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Guy: 'Doctor, my girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the condom never broke. How is it possible?'
Doctor: 'Let me tell you a story. There was once a hunter who always carried a gun wherever he went. One day he took his umbrella instead of his gun and went out. A lion suddenly jumped in front of him. In order to scare the lion, the hunter used the umbrella like a gun, and shot the lion and killed it!'
Guy: 'Nonsense! Someone else must have shot the lion.'
Doctor: 'Good! You understood the story. Next patient, please.'
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Celibacy can be a choice in life; or a condition imposed by circumstances.
While attending a Marriage Weekend, my wife and I listened to the instructor declare, 'It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.'
He then addressed the men, 'Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?'
I leaned over, touched my wife's hand gently and whispered, 'White Wings Self-Raising Flour, isn’t it?'
And thus began my life of celibacy.
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