A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”
The woman below replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You’re between 59 and 60 degrees north latitude and between 107 and 108 degrees west longitude.”
“You must be an engineer,” said the balloonist.
“I am,” replied the woman, “How did you know?”
“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I’ve no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help at all. If anything, you’ve delayed my trip.”
The woman below responded, “You must be a politician”
“I am,” replied the balloonist, “but how did you know?”
“Well,” said the woman, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you’ve no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems.
The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my fault.”
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There is a new dog in the house. Lexi, she’s an 8 week-old German Shepherd,
I bought Lexi as a surprise for my wife but it turns out she is allergic to dogs so we are now looking to find her a new home.
She is 55 years old, an attractive and caring woman who drives, is a great cook and keeps a clean house.
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We were minding the grandchildren when the four-year-old strolled into the kitchen casually asking for some alcohol! Trying not to smirk, I explained that it was only for adults.
“But Mummy gives it to me and I know you have some in your cupboard,” he insisted.
Intrigued, I asked him to show me what he wanted.
He pointed to the cordial!
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A man with a wooden leg wanted to buy fire insurance for his leg. The first actuary quoted an annual premium of $500, estimating that the leg would burn once in 20 years and the value of the leg is $5,000. The second actuary quoted an annual premium of $50. When the second actuary was asked how he arrived at such a small figure, he replied, "This situation is right here in the fire schedule rating table.
The object is a wooden structure with an upper sprinkler, isn't it?"
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