Just a little update on the situation with my brother because some of you have been pretty concerned. He took going to jail pretty hard, he's refusing all food, he's spitting and screaming at everyone, is threatening violence at anyone who comes near him.
and is refusing to wear clothes.
As a family we're pretty united in our decision not to play Monopoly with him anymore.
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A female bridge professional graciously agreed to donate her services
for a charity event. Her partner was nice enough, but it would be fair to
say that bridge was not his game. Late in the evening, he excused himself
and headed for the men's room. The hostess asked the pro how they were
doing. "My partner is a charming gentleman, but to be perfectly honest,
this is the first time all night I know what he has in his hand!"
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A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.
After catching his breath he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
"No," he replied, "arthritis.
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Two married women are having coffee and discussing their love life when one says, "Have you ever tried playing doctor?"
Her friend says, "No. What's it like?"
She replies, "It's amazing. Me and husband were playing for about 6 hours."
Her friend, shocked says, "6 hours!? How the hell did you manage that long?"
"I just left him in the waiting room for 5 and a half hours."
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Some one liners
Polynesia: memory loss in parrots.
Oh Lord, give me patience...and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
To err is human, to moo bovine.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
