Teacher : Can anyone make up a sentence with the word " Pistol " in it.
Sophie : " My Daddy is a soldier, he has a suit of blue,
he has a sword and bayonet, he has a pistol too.
Teacher : Very good Sophie.
Johnny : " Miss my father isn't a soldier, he doesn't have a suit of blue he draws his dole at half past nine, then he's on the P*ss till Two"
---------------------------------------
"Doc, I can't stop singing 'What's New Pussycat?'
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well, 'It's Not Unusual.'"
---------------------------------------
Two mischievous old grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home when an old man walked by.
One of the old grandmas yelled out: “We bet we can tell exactly how old you are.”
“There is no way you could guess that, you old fools,” the old man replied.
The other old grandma said: “Sure we can! Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact age.”
Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn’t do it, he dropped his drawers.
The grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times.
Then they both piped up and said: “You’re 87 years old!”
Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked: “How in the world did you guess?”
Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, the two old ladies happily yelled in unison: “We were at your birthday party yesterday!”
---------------------------------------
A blonde was selling her car so thought to take it into the garage for some maintenance...
So the guy gives her car an oil change, checks everything out and tunes it up. He then tells her, 'hey I also rolled back the odometer to 50,000 so it might be easier for you to sell the car'.
A few months later the blonde drives the car back into the garage and asks for an oil change... so the guy says i thought you were selling the car?
The blonde says, 'are you kidding? it's only got 50,000 miles on it now!'
.jpg "President Stephen Bellamy")
.jpg)
.jpg)
