A young recruit in the German Coast Guard is shown the ropes in the emergency centre by his supervisor and then left on his own while his supervisor takes a break. The radio crackles and an English voice comes over saying "Hello, mayday, mayday, we are sinking. Are you there? We are sinking."
The young recruit remembers what to do and clicks the button on the microphone. Being short on conversational English, he responds to the call for help saying "Hello, hello, zis is ze German Coast Guard. Vat are you sinking about?"
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In medieval England, it was the custom for the heir to the throne to wear a fancy ruffled collar known as a ruff. One particular prince wore an exceptionally fancy ruff known as a dandy ruff, which blocked his vision so that he kept tripping and falling.
This proves that dandy ruffs causes falling heirs.
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Some women are gathered and the subject of conversation turns to s*x and then birth control. The first woman says "We're Catholic so we can't use it."
The next woman says "I am too but we use the rhythm method."
The third woman says "We use the bucket and saucer method."
"What the heck is the bucket and saucer method?", the others ask.
"Well, I'm five foot eleven... and my husband is five foot two. We make love standing up with him standing on a bucket, and when his eyes get big as saucers I kick the bucket out from under him."
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A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry. Finally, he went to a marriage counselor. The counselor asked, "Please describe your two loves."
"Well, one is a great poet."
"And the other?"
"The other makes delicious pancakes."
"I see. So, you can't decide whether to marry for batter or for verse."
.jpg "President Ian Mc Kay & wife Sherril")
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