I was listening to the ABC during the week and the topic was water beds which were very popular in the 70’s and 80’s. My favourite caller was the guy who called in, he was a big water bed fan, but told of what I thought was a very amusing episode. One of his mates put a few eels inside the water bed. So that night as he tried to get off to sleep he kept feeling bumps inside the bed, and to his horror when he pulled back the sheets he saw the eels.
We took our ageing cat Bertie to the vet for a check up and we mentioned that he was becoming a bit deaf and was there a test that vets do to check hearing. She looked at us and in a measured professional tone said… “Yes, we do have a test for testing a cat’s hearing. You wait until the cat is asleep, then you get two saucepan lids from the kitchen and crash them together. If the cat doesn’t wake up he is deaf.”
I was expecting something a little more scientific.
On another ABC program the topic of the day was goning into the wrong house or car by accident and what happened. A fellow called in recounting that he went to funeral to pay his respects. He signed the visitors book and mingled with the other mourners. After a little while he realised he was at the wrong funeral so he slipped out at an appropriate time.
A week later he had a call from a solicitor asking him for some personal details. He asked why and was told that the solicitor was processing the will. He said he didn’t know the person and his attendance was a mistake. The solicitor said it didn’t matter, the deceased had put in his will that anyone who attended his funeral would be left $10,000!
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I need to re-home a dog. It's a small terrier, and tends to bark a lot.
If you're interested, let me know and I'll jump over next door's fence and get it for you.
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I warned my husband that it was going to be a very hot day but he was determined to get the lawn mown while I bought the groceries. On my return home, I noticed the mower standing alone in the back yard with a short strip of mown grass behind it. On the handle hung a taped sheet of paper with ‘to be continued...’ written on it!
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The class was being given a course in first aid. The question was asked, "What would you do if you had a younger sibling who swallowed the house key?" After a pause, little Maury answered, "I'd climb through the window!"
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I told my boss I needed a pay rise, I said that 3 other companies were after me. He said: “which ones?"
I replied: “the electricity, gas and the water".
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