Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that have a love for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless." A competition to see who can come up with the best lexophiles is held every year in an undisclosed location. This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.
When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
The batteries were given out free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a dead giveaway.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.
Police were summoned to a day care centre where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.
A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.
Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
And the cream of the twisted crop:
Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.
Rotarian Gordon Curran introduced our two guest speakers - Peter Collins and Damian White - both former Warrnambool Standard employees who together have 69 years of news paper experience. Retired journalist Peter Collins spoke about the changes he had witnessed within the Warrnambool community and the city during his 43 years of working at the Warrnambool Standard. It was a career that gave him the privilege of reporting and printing daily news in the unfolding chapters of the region's history - some beautiful - some ugly. Technology has led a huge change in personal and mass communication, bringing fantastic benefits along with some sinister side effects. When Peter started at the Standard they had typewriters, two phones for five reporters, two sub-editors and one photographer, one camera and a dark room. There has never before been a generation as is now which can find answers to almost any question on the internet, whereas not so many years ago you had to trawl through books or find someone who knew the answer. Peter described many of the changes Warrnambool has experienced over the years but went on to say that we still have a wonderful region with great assets, caring communities and successes known world wide including the Melbourne Cup winner and Odd Ball. Publish without fear for favour was the motto by which Peter Collins worked as a journalist.