JEST JOKIN'

 
COMPLETE AND FINISHED
No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between these two words.
In a recent  linguistic competition held in London, England, and attended by the best in the world, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese man from Bachelors Adventure, was the clear winner with a standing ovation which lasted over 5 minutes.
 
The final question was: How do you explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand. Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED.
 
Here is his astute answer .... when you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE. When you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED. And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!
 
He won a trip to travel the world in style and a case of 25 year old Eldorado Rum.
 
Ever notice how a 4-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults ?
 
Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit, with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my bedroom about 2 a.m., I found my two children in bed with my wife, Karey, apparently scared by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleep in the guest bedroom that night.
The next day, I talked to the children and explained that it was OK to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad, but when I was expected home, please don't sleep with Mom that night.
 
They said OK.
 
After my next trip several weeks later, Karey and the children picked me up in the terminal at the appointed time. Since the plane was late, everyone had come into the terminal to wait for my plane's arrival, along with hundreds of other folks waiting for their arriving passengers.
 
As I entered the waiting area, my son saw me, and came running shouting, "Hi, Dad! I've got some good news!"
 
As I waved back, I said loudly, "What's the good news?"
 
Alex shouted, "Nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this time!"
 
The airport became very quiet, as everyone in the waiting area looked at Alex, then turned to me, and then searched the rest of the area to see if they could figure out exactly who his Mom was.