JEST JOKIN
Posted by Roy Slater
A policeman in Sydney, Australia pulled over a driver who had been weaving in and out of the traffic.
He approached the car window and said "Sir I need you to blow into this breathalyser".
The man reaches into his pocket and produces a doctor's note.
On it was written: "This man suffers from chronic asthma. Do not make him perform any action that may leave him short of breath".
The policeman said "Okay then, I need you to come and give a blood sample"
The man produced another letter.
This one said: "This man is a haemophiliac. Please do not cause him to bleed in any way".
So the officer said: "Right, I need a urine sample then".
The man produces a third letter from his pocket.
It read: "This man plays Cricket for England, please don't take the piss out of him"
He approached the car window and said "Sir I need you to blow into this breathalyser".
The man reaches into his pocket and produces a doctor's note.
On it was written: "This man suffers from chronic asthma. Do not make him perform any action that may leave him short of breath".
The policeman said "Okay then, I need you to come and give a blood sample"
The man produced another letter.
This one said: "This man is a haemophiliac. Please do not cause him to bleed in any way".
So the officer said: "Right, I need a urine sample then".
The man produces a third letter from his pocket.
It read: "This man plays Cricket for England, please don't take the piss out of him"
Another one:
A man touring Vienna was studying old headstones in a cemetery. He stopped when he heard music at the headstone of Beethoven. He identified it as his 9th Symphony but was surprised that it was playing backwards. As he lingered he heard the 7th Symphony also played backwards. He located the groundsman and together they listened to the 5th Symphony. When asked for an explanation, the groundsman replied, “He’s just decomposing.”