JEST JOKIN

Some slightly "socially incorrect" statements which might make you smile.

 

Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on Friday this year". Mick said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th then."

My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.

Since the snow came all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.

Just received my water bill which was $300. That's a lot. Oxfam can supply a whole African village for just $4 a month: time to change supplier I think.

Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.

A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt ….. Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche...

Just a reminder to those who stole electrical goods in last year's riots....Your one year manufacturer's warranty runs out soon.

Two Indian junkies accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine. …. Both in hospital...one's in a korma.. The other's got a dodgy tikka!

Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.