Internationally acclaimed author and speaker Dana Caspersen spoke to St. Johnsbury Rotarians about Conflict Resolution, during the Club’s weekly meeting Sept. 16. Caspersen is the author of “Changing the Conversation: The 17 Principles of Conflict Resolution,” a book geared toward changing lives. She described methods that can be used to turn conflicts into opportunities for growth.
Growing up, Caspersen developed a robust personality and was always curious. For 40 years, she was a dancer and performed in the theatre; then she decided to switch careers, earning a Master’s in Conflict Studies and Mediation at the Woodbury Institute of Champlain College in Vermont. She became a teacher and life coach, working with people on conflict and ways to deal with it.
Caspersen stated, “We’re all practicing conflict constantly – what do we really want to practice?” She said that “conflict can be terrible, or it can help us find out about others … We always have a choice on how we handle conflict.”
She said that in today’s society, there is a lot of polarization. She wants to get rid of conflict and encouraged Rotarians to be willing to step in and see what “we can do together … The most important thing in conflict is discovering what other people need.”
During a time of conflict with someone, the natural response is to attack and counter attack. This methodology is common – no matter where we are; at home, on the street, etc. She said that this type of behavior can be changed; “our approach to conflict is something we learn.”
Caspersen said, “We need to listen to what people are saying, even if they’re saying it really badly … We are not doomed to repeat destructive habits … Conflict can clarify what matters to us, and what matters to others.” She added, “We need to learn ‘not to hear the attack,’ but to develop a curiosity” about what is being said in a time of conflict.
As stated on her website, one of her principles is, “you can’t change how other people act in a conflict, and often you can’t change your situation. But you can change what you do. We have all been in circumstances of conflict when we failed to ‘think through’ the problem; we lashed out; we were rash; and we emerged from the experience with regret. The circumstance may have been in your work, family, or civic life. All areas of our lives can be enhanced by knowing how to ‘change the conversation.’”
Caspersen’s Changing the Conversation has been called “an invaluable handbook [to] teach you how to transform your mind-set and move beyond the destructive cycle of attack and counterattack … to create dialogue and find lasting solutions.”
Caspersen says, of the services she offers, “My clients include teachers, executives, parents, artists, small business owners, social service groups, international dance companies, arts collectives, schools, at-risk youth, municipalities and universities.
In collaboration with communities, governments and foundations in the U.S., Europe and the UK, I have designed and directed multiple large scale action dialogues on challenging topics ranging from immigration to violence. These events integrate simple physical action as an instrument to enable engaging and powerful exchange between participants.”
She concluded her presentation to the Rotarians with encouragement, stating this is “a call to strengthen our minds; how we think … Understand what is important; what does someone need … Try to do things that are positive.”
Caspersen lives part time in Kirby with her husband, William Forsythe. For more information about Dana Caspersen, go to
https://danacaspersen.com/.
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