It’s time for a new definition of too-sick-to-work, says Deirdre Macken.

For a moment it looked like the soldier-on ethos was dead. To turn up at work with a cough, sniffle or a lassitude that couldn’t be explained by last night’s shindig was akin to turning up with an AK-37. So, you get tested and stay home safe in knowledge that no one will want to see you until you can sing an aria without coughing.

But the technology that enabled a country of office workers to remain productive from afar is evolving into one that will keep a country of office workers in the loop even if they’re on the couch, in bed or, indeed, on the hospital ward.

The sick day is finished. If you have a laptop, smart phone and video app, you can clock on for work and attend every meeting, even if you’re the only one on screen.

One click and the commute is done.

It’s time for a new definition of too-sick-to-work. But what is it and can we come up with new protocols that will enable you to sicken in peace? Firstly, the common cold won’t keep you from slogging on.

But, if you’re Zooming in sick, you should dial down the touch-up slide. Everyone has suspected you’ve been using that Touch Up My Appearance app for some time.

So, turn the slide down, turn the lights up, slump a little, sigh a lot and you’ll convince them you’re not fit to sit around the table.

Flu sufferers might get more sympathy but you’re not getting out of the meetings. They’ll just ask you to use the mute button for the hacking coughs.

Broken limbs will also not be a reason for missing work. Your boss will just comment how handy it is that you can hobble onto your couch for the OH&S seminar.

A broken hand might pose problems but your HR department will solve that by sending you an ergonomic mouse.

Two broken hands might be a deal breaker but, then, you don’t want to contemplate life with two broken hands for long.

Of course, there are always sick kids to keep you away from work. But hang on. Schools are now set up for online learning and they’re not unplugging any time soon. They have recorded lessons ready to go, some will live stream and Google Classroom is ready to go anytime.

There is now an industry called edtech and that means your kids are never going to Fortnite a sick day away.

Women’s problems. That one always shut them up but they’re less sensitive these days. Two pain killers, a hot water bottle sent out by HR and not too much information and you’re ready to roll.

Back pain. No problem. Lie down and prop the laptop on your knees. You’ll look like you have four chins with the camera at that angle but don’t be tempted to stare at the ceiling, especially when the boss is talking.

It’s a struggle to find any illness that will prevent you from working. Eye problems will put a spanner in the works but Zoom has pirate patches and aerospace goggles ready to go.

Hearing difficulties can be overcome with that accessibility app. If you can’t speak, they’ll still expect your digital presence and an occasional thumbs up.

In hospital?  The nurse can bring you the laptop, tuck your gown in tight and tell the patient in the next bed to stop moaning because you’ve got work to do. Of course, if there’s an incubator, IV drip, heart monitor and weeping relatives surrounding you on the video call, the boss might let you off — or tell you to click on the virtual background button.