1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his girth from too much pi.

 He married a girl called Di-ameter. Her father was not pleased and went off on a tangent. But they had a lovely wedding where there were some beautiful chords played on the organ.

2. I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
 
3. She was only a whiskey-maker, but he loved her still.
 
4. A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it  was a weapon of math disruption.
 
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
 
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for  littering.
 
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
 
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
 
9. A hole has been found in the nudist - camp wall. The police  are  looking into it.
 
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
 
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to  the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
 
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
 
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said: 'Keep off the  Grass.'
 
15. The  midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium  at large.
 
16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
 
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
 
18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your  count that votes.
 
19 . When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
 
20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
 
21. A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an aeroplane. The  stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, only one carrion  allowed per passenger.

 
22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and  says , 'Dam!'
  
23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in  the craft.  Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't  have your kayak and heat it too.
 
24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The  other says , 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
 
25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root - canal? His goal: transcending dental medication.

26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope  that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Did 26 make you laugh?

Today is apparently National Pun Day.