Q. What do you call a billionaire driving around in a working class suburb?
A. Lost!
Q. Why is a judge like a remedial speech therapist?
A. They both worry that certain men won't be able to cope with a long sentence.
A new partner at an expensive law firm was known for bragging and attempting to outdo anyone's else's stories.
At a dinner to entertain a potentially lucrative client, all progressed smoothly while the guest of honour held the floor.
He described the new swimming pool being installed in his inner city home - 15 metres long, black slate, landscaped surrounds and spa.
As he paused for a drink, the lawyer lurched in, "Oh, they're great of course, but you should be looking at a pool larger than 15 metres. The pool that I installed last year is 30 metres long".
As he spoke his boss looked at him with a glare and mouthed the word, FIRED!
The lawyer then continued "... and ten centimetres deep!"
A five year old boy went out into the garden and said to his father, "Dad, what does sex mean?"
"What does what mean?" the father asked.
"Sex", said the young lad.
The father stuttered, "Why ... why do you want to know?"
The youngster looked at his dad and said, "Because Mum told me to tell you that lunch would be ready in a couple of them!"
