Meet  Walter Barnes 
   

All golfers should live so long  as to become this kind of old man! 

Toward the end of the Sunday  service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?" 

80% held up their hands.

The  Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one man,  Walter Barnes. 

"Mr. Barnes, are you not willing  to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any," he replied  gruffly. 

"Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight," he replied.

The  congregation stood up and clapped their hands. 

"Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?"

The old golfer tottered down the  aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned around, faced the congregation,  and said simply, "I outlived all those assholes" - and he returned to  his seat.