Weekly Smile!

The difference between in-laws and outlaws? 

Outlaws are wanted.

Alcohol is a perfect solvent: 

It dissolves marriages, families and careers.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. 

A tax is a fine for doing well.

Archeologist: someone whose career lies in ruins.

An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: 

The older she gets, the more interested he becomes in her.

There are two kinds of people who don't say much: 

Those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.

They say that alcohol kills slowly. 

So what? Who's in a hurry ?

Alcohol and calculus don't mix. 

Never drink and derive