What's the difference between Soccer and AFL?
In Soccer, players will do almost anything to convince the referee that they are injured. In AFL, they'll do almost anything to prove that they are NOT injured...
 
When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.  Jonathan Swift, Anglo-Irish Satirist, 1667 – 1745
 
An Englishman, Frenchman, Italian and German sit at the rear in a Stand-up Comedy club. The comedian yells out "Can you see me there at the back?"
They answered
"Yes! Oui! Si! Ja!"