LEXOPHILIA - WHO ON EARTH DREAMS THESE UP? • What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. • I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx. • All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on. • I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. • Velcro - what a rip off! • Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last. CHILDBIRTH AT 65 A story concerning Ray Carrington (indirectly, sort of) With all the new technology regarding fertility, a 65-year-old friend of mine was recently able to give birth. When she was discharged from hospital and went home, I went to visit her. “Can I see your new baby?” I asked. “Not yet”, she said, “I'll make some coffee first and then we can visit the new little man for a while.” After about half an hour had passed, I asked her, “Do you think I might be able to see your baby soon?” “No, not just yet”, she said. After a while, I asked her again, “Do you reckon I might be able to see your baby?” “No, not yet”, replied my friend. I was starting to get a bit impatient, so I asked, “Well, when do you think I can see your baby?” “When he cries.” she told me. “When he cries – why do I need to wait until he cries?” I said to her. “I have to wait until he cries, because I have forgotten where I put him”. |