Posted by Kimberly Peterson on Jan 18, 2018
Have you ever watched your child struggle?
Learning math?
Learning to play a musical instrument?
Getting a school project done?
Learning to get along and accept all people that cross their path?
Trying out for a sports team?
What I found is you never stop watching them struggle, but as they become adults and they learn the skill of communication, you understand better why they struggle.
My oldest son (already 29 years old) has been struggling. From the sidelines my family is always watching (Paul, Serah and Silas). He set a goal...not a family goal, not a financial goal, not a professional goal (he’s a dean of students at a “tough” middle school in the Kent School district). The goal he set was to be one of the strongest men in the world. Seriously, look at me! Do these genetics reflect strong anything? (This is where you should be nice to me!).
He has worked (and I mean worked) very hard to attain this goal. 3 to 4 hours in the gym 5 to 6 Days a week. Food is monitored and calculated based on the workout program. Always, always reaching for the goal. If you have not attended a strong man competition it is definitely something you should put on your bucket list. It is not just about physical strength but endurance, mental, grit and determination. This kid has it and wants that goal.
A few months ago while working out at “Dungeon Fitness” in Bremerton, Saul experienced an injury.  While lifting some ridiculous amount of weight he described the incident as: "I saw a person in my peripheral vision, and I thought they kicked my knee out while I had the weights extended above my head.  My knee gave out and there was a serious pain." The diagnosis:  lots of damage to his knee.  Brace it, don’t walk on it, don’t go to the gym, rest it, schedule surgery. 
Surgery happened and instructions were similar.  Taking the gym out of his life was not an option.  Saul continued to go to the gym to work on his upper body while allowing the knee to heal.  This is tough for someone that has a goal to be the strongest man. 
In comes Mom….because I see him struggling.  Just step away from the gym and give your knee time to heal.  Solid Mom advice, right?  The response I received was from a grown man, not my child.  “I have a hole right here (pointing to his heart).  To fill that hole I work out.  It’s what I do.”  This really made me step back and think about the hole. 
I think we all have that hole.  I think we all try to fill it.  Some of us do it by:
          Success in your work
          Success in your bank account
          Success in your children
          Success in your relationships
          Success in home ownership
This made me look at my hole.  Do I have a hole?  How do I fill my hole?   What did I discover?  I fill my hole by volunteering.  It’s like a drug and it is what makes me feel WHOLE.   If someone asked me to stop volunteering how would I fill my hole?  
Editor's Note: Pictured below is Kim at an all day work party on a Saturday, putting together hygiene kits for Days for Girls and Side by Side South Africa.
I would just ask that you take a moment to think about your “Hole” and how you are filling it.  As a parent you watch your kid struggle but sometimes you have to accept the struggle so they can fill the hole.