Was that a feeling of angst that greeted our august president for the start of his first August meeting? I think not! Joy emanated from every corner of the room as the recently crowned King Kimball drum rolled his way to the opening bell. Shortly came the quote from Steven Tyler of Aerosmith and their song "Dream On" ("The past is gone, it went by like dusk to dawn" and so on....), followed by Dave Coleman's invocation and the singing of the national anthem (sung in our traditional musically-challenged manner,  which brings to mind the more well-known chorus from the aforementioned "Dream On": "Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears", heavy on the tears.  And so we were off and running, thanks to Duncan Cook's setup, Steve Enquist's collection of $307 at the Paul Harris desk, and Rod Ladd's photography/ticket sales/money collection as Sgt at Arms. Guests: Don Monroe from Tacoma #8. Guests of Rotarians: Riley Guerrero (James Guerrero), Mary Horn (Greg Horn), Jeanette Adkins (Ron Adkins), Chris Easter from Chase Bank (Eric Quinn) and Brian from Columbia Bank (Melissa Missall). The Sunshine Report from John Forkenbrock told of Bob Gee's second brain surgery, which went well, and he is home recuperating.
Vocational Talk: John Forkenbrock followed up the Sunshine Report with the 2+ minutes weekly vocational talk. John was born 12/25/40 at St. Joseph's Hospital in Tacoma, attended St. Leo's, Bellarmine, and UPS. He retired at age 69. But it didn't take. "I flunked retirement." After a lifetime in the funeral industry, John is now a consultant for Mountain View. Welcome to John, a new member to Lakewood Rotary, after several years at Clover Park Rotary.
World Affairs Seminar: Riley Guerrero (James and Susan's daughter) was selected by our club to go to Wisconsin for the World Affairs Seminar this past June. The subject was energy distribution in the world, especially as it related to third world countries. She heard eleven impressive keynote speakers during the week, and met with a group who put together a presentation for the rest of the students. They especially keyed on the desire of less-than-reputable entities to keep the third world dependent on oil and coal, as opposed to sustainable energies. The topic was interesting, and Riley was fabulously impressive. Wow! As James was my architect, I feel that I can share in his daughter's wonderfulness. I'm beaming.
Next was the musical interlude, featuring the Scandinavian All Star Orchestra and Choir, consisting of maestro John Magnuson on the ukulele and lead vocal, Greg Rediske on the melodeon and little else, Chris Kimball on the drums, and Rick Selden in the peanut gallery. Our recent Past President Dave Coleman was front and center, as the following was dedicated to him:
The immortal words of "Da Dang Past President Lament" by Ole Magnuson and Paul Anka
It's a pretty sad lament,
As Lakewood Rotary Past President,
No vun remembers vhetter you came or vent,
Cuz yew don't matter anymore.
Who vus dat guy yust left da place?
Did anybody reckinze his face?
Did somevun yust slam da door?
("Ay tank Ay knew him vunce before")
But he don't matter anymore.
Tings shure change here pretty fast.
Vun day yer somebody but you don't last,
Yer used to bein' a big shot.
An' now yer really ain't so hot.
Yew ain't nuttin' anymore.
Git over yourself, dat's fer dadgum shure.
Dey all say hello and den goodbye,
Den turn and ask, "Who vuz dat guy?"
But (all togedder now) Yew ain't nuttin' anymore.
To hear it in all its glory, copy and paste the following:  https://youtu.be/a0ukdv7Hcmg
Ole Magnuson and Paul Anka in the same sentence. You don't see that every day. And in the "Did you know?" department: Paul Anka wrote "It Doesn't Matter Anymore" for Buddy Holly, who recorded it shortly before The Day The Music Died. After Buddy's death, Anka donated all royalties from the songwriting to Holly's widow. (This new version should give a real shot in the arm to those royalties, one would think!)                        
Dave Covey has joined the Educator of the Month committee, but we still need members for the Vocational Committee and the Publicity Committee (and a piano player!).
Our most recent RI President was asked if there was a "silver bullet" to boost Rotary membership.   "Engagement. I quit my Rotary club because I didn't have anything to do. Then they asked me to chair a committee. I thought it was an important role, and I stayed. The key is to give people the opportunity to contribute."
New members and old members: If someone doesn't ask you, volunteer. Ideally, you'll be approached and asked. But if not, walk on up to President Chris and say, "I want to do something!" You'll be glad you did.
Next Step Ron Adkins announced a desire to have more people for the Next Step mentoring committee, where Rotarians (and/or spouses) are assigned a high school student for two years of college preparation help. Everything is all charted out: no experience or knowledge needed! No financial aid advice, just follow the bouncing ball to help a student get through the maze of the college application process. Two years, 1 hour per week. Come to an information meeting and get a free lunch!  Email Ron for more information: ronald@nventure.com  This program is the work of Mike and Wendy McGowan, and their successes through this program are legendary.
Fines: Vaughn Hoffman provided a book of Rotary prayers to Chris, and it turns out Chris' prayers were answered right away! Rick Selden paid $40 for daughter Gayle's selection for the "40 Under 40" award (outstanding business people in Pierce County under 40 years of age), and $20 for a great trip to Santa Barbara and other California coast locations. Bill Allen and Larry Saunders are on Chris' radar, and interest is compounding. Daily. Chris is a financial planner after all. Bud Montgomery was there, and delivered a jar of Albacore tuna to Chris, and $20, for having caught 8 tuna, 22-30 lbs each. Mary Covelli Johnson gave an IOU for a 5th grandchild, Chelsea May. Greg Horn paid an unknown sum for his beautiful wife Mary's weight loss and increasing beauty (that would be "beautiful" to "even MORE beautiful!"). Gordy Quick gave (no prodding necessary!) $20 to honor Rick and Gayle Selden's service, but mostly Gayle's. Andrew Neiditz is marrying off a daughter at Alderbrook next weekend, $50. And Eric Quinn noted that Chris Kimball was featured on the cover of a law magazine, so Chris paid $$$.
Program: Chris got to introduce his son as a speaker to Lakewood Rotary: how fun was that! Before graduating from Northwest University in Kirkland, David was Communications Chair for the school. At one event, he was approached by someone from Microsoft, and the rest, as they say, is history. David now travels around the world singing the praises of Windows 10. Previously, Microsoft had been accused of not being innovative enough, and also for too much change. Huh? But that's all different now, with 10. The start menu is traditional AND touch, your choice. The speed doubles Windows 7. And all devices (phone, tablet, PC, and TV (Xbox) have the same experience. Take a picture on your phone, and thanks to One Drive, it will be on your PC or tablet almost immediately. Windows 10 is faster, uses less battery power, and less memory for the same tasks. "Cortana" is the Windows version of "Siri" ("only better!").  And 10 is free: for the first time, Windows looks upon this as a service, not a product. If you want to add more storage or another extra, that will cost. But not the original download, which will be supported for at least 10 years. A lifetime in computer speak. It works on Apple devices, too. Great presentation: Chris, your wife Vicki did marvelous work!
Drawing: Rick Selden drew #8397, and attempted to get his fine back and more ($390), but failed miserably. $5.00, or less than 10% of his fine.
Courage Classic
There is no Rotarian head for us to guess the identity of this week; instead, and more importantly, we must give kudos to numerous Rotarians for their efforts at the Courage Classic this year. Members of the Rotary Clubs of Lakewood, Clover Park and South Tacoma successfully served 350 Courage Classic riders on Monday, August 3, 2015.  The Lakewood team consisted of Duncan Cook, Phil & Judy Eng, Chuck Hellar, Chris Kimball, Bud Montgomery, Terry Roarke and Richard Simmons.  The fun began the previous Friday as Chuck, Terry, Duncan and Richard loaded equipment from Lakewood’s storage locker.  Richard has been the “main man” for over 20 years, taking charge of the refrigerator and generator that are critical to being able to serve root beer floats at the rest stop.  Phil Eng did most of the purchasing on Saturday.  On Sunday afternoon the entire team met at the rest stop on Highway 2, just west of Leavenworth, to set up the site and to pack trail mix bags. Also participating in the set-up were Helen McGovern-Pilant and her husband George (Clover Park) and Judy Jones, her friend Esther and their two sons (Tacoma South).  For their Saturday labors, the team was rewarded with a barbeque dinner in Leavenworth.  Later that night, Tacoma 8 hosted a beer garden for all riders and support personnel. Sunday morning, the fun began at 6:30am.  Bike racks arrived and had to be assembled.  Fruit was cut and bagels were garnished with PB&J.  Chris and Ellie Carr (Clover Park) joined the team that morning.  Chris with his catering background was able to successfully supervise the “other Chris” (Kimball) in mixing the Gatorade.  The first riders arrived a bit later than usual due to strong headwinds.  Kara Faubion arrived with about 10 massage therapy students who gave the riders some much needed massages.  Judy Jones’ son ran a hula-hoop contest with riders vying for special tee shirts.  All of the riders had passed through by 10:30am and the team started packing up for the day. A good time was had by all.  2016 will be the 25th anniversary of the Courage Classic and everyone is looking forward to another fun event next year!
And so it was that many years ago, in the time known as  "BB" (Before Bonnie), Ole was quite the ladies man up there in good ol' Ballard.  One day, he got out of bed and went to the kitchen. There, on the refrigerator, was a note from his girlfriend at the time. She wrote, "It's not working. I can't take it anymore. I'm going to my mom's place."
Dumbfounded, Ole opened the refrigerator. The light came on. The beer was cold.....What the heck was she talking about?!?!