Minutes of December 4, 2017
At 07:15 Club President Bob Guerette first welcomed back Gordon Donley (from open heart surgery less than a week ago) and Gordon’s daughter and designated driver, Greta Woodruff, and guest speaker Mary Hanley from New Hope for Women to our meeting. After calling the meeting to order he led us in the Pledge of Allegiance and then called upon Ron McLaughlin for the invocation. Ron recognized God’s hand in the remarkable return of Gordon and all of the good work done by Rotarians worldwide.
Prez. Bob then thanked Greta for getting up early to drive Gordon to the meeting and further commented on Gordon’s remarkable recovery
Under Announcements we had the following:
Our “Build” day for Habitat is Saturday, December 9. The time is 9:30 to 3:30 but even a half day effort would be appreciated. Bob G will provide lunch. Bring your own drinks.
Our next “Fill the Backpacks” for Mid Coast Hunger Prevention is 5:30, Tuesday, December 12.
Bell ringing for Salvation Army at Wal-Mart is Saturday, December 16.
Ron McLaughlin reminded members that next Monday, December 11, is the last opportunity to contribute to our support for a needy family Christmas.
Prez. Bob reminded us of the informal social for members and spouses / significant others to be held at Flight Deck Brewery on Brunswick Landing 5 – 6 PM Thursday, December 14)
Prez. Bob called upon Russ Andrews for Happy / Sad dollars. Russ, who at prior meetings had commented on watching deer go by rather than shoot them told of two fellow hunters giving him venison from their kills. His freezer is now well stocked. Bob Guerette, and subsequently many others, had happy dollars for Gordon’s speedy recovery. Bob Davis had a happy dollar for guest speaker Mary Hanley. Bill Brillant had a happy dollar for getting his 12’ tall tree up without incident. Bob Beaumont had a happy dollar for Tom C. dutifully writing the minutes. Gordon had a happy $5 for Prez. Bob visiting him in the hospital and for his successful surgery and ability to return to the meetings so quickly. Daughter Greta chimed in with a happy dollar for dad Gordon as well. Gordon had a presidential question regarding which president made the first phone call – James Garfield.
Bob Davis than introduced guest speaker Mary Hanley, Executive Director of New Hope for Women serving Lincoln, Sagadahoc, Knox and Waldo Counties. She relayed that New Hope for Women was originally organized in 1981 to serve women physically abused in domestic relationships. She relayed how it actually had been legal for men to beat their wives during the early days of our country. Mary explained that while the origins of the program was to serve only women physically abused it now encompasses men and children as well as women (with women still comprising about 90% of those served) and includes non-physical emotional abuse as well as visible physical abuse. The term “controlling partner” is now used to describe all abusers in domestic relationships as it recognizes that emotional abuse can be just about as severe as physical abuse, often leading to suicide of the victims. Domestic relationships include dating and live in partners as well as marriage as the key element is an extreme, unhealthy, controlling relationship between two people. The program is state wide with 8 chapters around the state encompassing all the counties in the state. Mary gave examples of controlling behavior and signs to watch for among couples that we interact with. She also explained the various services offered including:
24-hour crisis hotline and in-office counseling
Legal services and court advocacy
Support groups providing a safe, non-judgmental, environment to discuss common relational issues.
Safe homes providing short term emergency shelter for those partners fearing imminent physical harm
Community education (including Mary’s presentation to us).
Youth education and advocacy services.
Mary also pointed out that unhealthy controlling relationships occur across all socio-economic groups and that the controlling partner will make (but not carry out) virtually any promise or apology to keep the abused partner under their control. Controlling partners also frequently isolate the other partner from other family and friends to minimize their ability to receive contrasting advice, make them guilty about all stressful aspects of the relationship, and other approaches to reduce the self esteem of their partner. Mary also downplayed the effectiveness of protective orders from the courts, making the point that the accused partner receives a copy of the specific complaint which often leads to physical violence against the partner seeking protection. She said that making and carrying out a move to a safe location, unknown to the other partner is much more effective in reducing violence.
Again a very interesting, informative program, thanks Bob
I hope to see you tomorrow at the Habitat build day and on Monday when our speaker will be from Mid Coast hospital speaking on youth mental health first aid programs.
Prez. Bob’s thought for the day: “Behave as if everything you do matters” Gloria Steinham
Submitted:
Tom