Father Carl Beekman of the Church of Saint Mary did not grow up thinking he would become a priest.  But as he explained during his classification speech to the Club on June 17, a series of events led him down that path.  Father Beekman spent his childhood in Bedford, Indiana (limestone capital of the world), and grew up as a Methodist in a working-class family as the eldest of five children.  He credits his upbringing with developing a strong work ethic.  Although not the most serious student, his father wanted to steer him to West Point for his education.  Instead, Father Beekman enlisted in the Marines where he learned the skills to “improvise, adapt, and overcome.”  Following his military service, he joined a close friend and ended up in Louisiana to attend college.  The friend’s father offered him the chance to manage a health care holding company and he started on the path of becoming a successful entrepreneur.  But his life began to change.  His close friend suddenly died from leukemia, he acknowledged he was having problems adjusting to life after the military, a girlfriend broke off what he thought was a serious relationship, and then, while buying items at a gas station convenience store, he was approached by a woman who began pointing at him and loudly saying “you’re a priest….you’re a priest.”  Having converted to Catholicism, he approached his own priest who helped him realize he had a calling to the priesthood.  He went to Seminary in Maryland and then requested assignment to the Rockford Diocese to be with other friends from Seminary and knowing he would want their support.  He was assigned to the Saint Mary Parish in Sycamore in 2018.
 
Father Beekman says the COVID-19 pandemic has forced him to adapt to new ways of ministering.  Admitting a discomfort at public speaking, he still found it unusual to be preaching to an empty church for virtual services.  He says it did help him focus on spirituality in his messages (and he also made them shorter).  He noted how hard the current situation has been for those suffering from mental distress, loss of a loved one, and loss of face to face contact.  He pointed out the families of neighboring Kindred Hospital patients who can only see their loved ones through the windows of the building.  He said many are looking forward to the reopening of the church building through the next phases of COVID-19 recovery.             

 

Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous. (Winston Churchill loved them.)   Also closely considered puns!

 

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.... but it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up.... we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency, notify...." I answered, "a doctor."

11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

June 14, 1922 – Warren G. Harding becomes the first U. S. President to broadcast a message over the radio.  The event was the dedication of the Francis Scott Key Memorial in Baltimore.
 
June 15, 1215 – King John set his seal to the Magna Carta guaranteeing certain rights of liberty.  It becomes the foundation of modern democracies around the world.
 
June 18, 1815 – On the fields of Waterloo in central Belgium, 72,000 French troops led by Napoleon suffer a crushing military defeat from a combined army of 113,000 British, Dutch, Belgian, and Prussian troops.
 
June 19, 1865 (Juneteenth Day) –  In Galveston, Texas, Union General Gordan Granger enters the city and reads General Order #3 from President Abraham Lincoln granting emancipation to 256,000 enslaved Texans.

June 14, 1906 – Photojournalist Margaret Bourke-White was born in New York City.  She becomes one of four original staff photographers of LIFE Magazine in 1936 and later the first woman to be an accredited war correspondent during World War II.
 
June 16, 1890 – Film comedian Stan Laurel of Laurel and Hardy fame is born in Ulverston, England.
 
June 19, 1902 – Baseball “Iron Horse”  Lou Gehrig is born in New York City.  He played in 2,130 consecutive games and seven World Series for the Yankees only to die at age 37 from the degenerative muscle disease that bears his name.
 
June 20, 1924 – American military hero and movie actor Audie Murphy is born in Kingston, Texas.  He was the most decorated American soldier of World War II.