The "Hunkered Down" Spoke - May 8, 2020 (May 08, 2020)

Give DeKalb County 2020 Results

Posted on May 08, 2020

According to https://www.givedekalbcounty.org/, 2,646 donors raised $1,113,813 for 113 organizations during the May 7, 2020 event!

The top ten amounts raised were:

1. DeKalb County Community Gardens - $53,009.16 (273 donors)

2. Hope Haven of DeKalb County, Inc - $51,382.00 (236 donors)

3. Family Service Agency - $40,780.00 (74 donors)

4. Safe Passage - $34,132.00 (241 donors)

5. Tails Humane Society - $32,789.00 (231 donors)

6. Voluntary Action Center - $29,335.00 (181 donors)

7. Oaken Acres Wildlife Center - $27,870.00 (144 donors)

8. Tanzania Development Support - $26,365.00 (58 donors)

9. Preservation of Egyptian Theatre, Inc. - $22,980.00 (131 donors)

10. Ellwood House Association - $22,705.00 (85 donors)

For comparison, 1,901 donors raised $751,050 for 104 organizations during last year's event.

The COVID-19 Psychic Travel Calculator

Posted by Shared by Paul Callighan

Instructions:

Choose a number between 1 and 9
Multiply by 3
Add 3
Multiply by 3 again
Take each digit of this number and add them together
Match this number to the "Destination" list below:

1. Singapore

2. Spain

3. India

4. Thailand

5. Malaysia

6. Indonesia

7. Brazil

8. England

9. Stay at Home

10. Australia

11. Cambodia

12. Vietnam

13. Japan

14. South Korea

15. Canada

16. Mexico

Editor's Spoiler Alert - You will always be told to stay at home.

Puns for Educated Minds

Posted by Shared by Bob Brown

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey-maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:'Keep off the Grass.'

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

19 When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

21. A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says, 'Are you sure? The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

This Week in History

Posted by Paul Callighan

May 5, 1862 – Mexican troops under General Ignacio Zaragoza, outnumbered three to one, defeat the invading forces of Napoleon III in the battle of Pueblo which forever after is celebrated as a national holiday; Cinco de Mayo (Fifth of May).

May 5, 1961 – Alan Shepard becomes the first American in Space. His Freedom 7 spacecraft traveled in space for 15 minutes and 28 seconds. In a subsequent flight in 1971 he would become the fifth person to walk on the moon.

May 6, 1937 – The German airship Hindenburg bursts into flames and crashes while mooring at Lakehurst, New Jersey killing 36 of the 97 passengers and crew and effectively ending commercial airship travel.

May 8, 1945 – German Field Marshall Wilhelm Keitel signs the unconditional surrender of all German fighting forces ending World War II in Europe.

Sign Seen at Golf Club in Scotland

Posted by Shared by Bob Brown

1. Back straight, knees bent, feet a shoulder width apart.

2. Form a loose grip.

3. Keep your head down!

4. Avoid a quick back swing.

5. Stay out of the water.

6. Try not to hit anyone.

7. If you are taking too long, let others go ahead of you.

8. Don't stand directly in front of others.

9. Quiet please...while others are preparing.

10. Don't take extra strokes.

Well done....now, flush the urinal, wash your hands, go outside, and tee off.

Famous Birthdays

Posted by Paul Callighan

May 5, 1818 – Karl Marx, author of the Communist Manifesto

May 6, 1856 – Psychoanalysis founder Sigmund Freud

May 6, 1856 – American Arctic explorer Rear Admiral Robert E. Peary

May 8, 1884 – 33rd President of the United States Harry S. Truman

Member Birthdays

Riley Oncken

September 1

Steven Kuhn

September 3

Larry Sill

September 10

Ray Dembinski

September 13

Join Date

Sejal Patel

September 2, 2015

5 years

Michael DeVito

September 6, 2017

3 years

Patrick Solar

September 9, 1998

22 years

Ahmed Kamel

September 11, 2005

15 years

Robert Daniel

September 27, 2018

2 years