PRESIDENTS REPORT | DIRECTOR & OTHER REPORTS | SPEAKER | JOKES
Dear fellow Rotarians
Well our guest speaker at Tuesday's dinner meeting did not let us down and gave us an enlightening insight to the Capalaba Book Fest and further has offered us a quantity of books for our book sale which is only about 6 weeks away. All help is needed now until after the Book Sale as if we get it right this could be a good flagship project year on year.
On Wednesday I attended at the hub with 2 fellow Rotarians and a helper where we sorted, priced and boxed books. There is still a fair way to go with this effort and there will be a working bee at the Hub tomorrow Saturday morning. So if members if you can attend please do so. The start time is 9am to 12 noon.
A great full thanks to those who attended the car boot sale last Sunday morning. Our best ever with some 90 cars. A fantastic result for raising funds to book back into our local community. There are two more calendar positions for roster so please check the dates and time and offer to assist as these sales are likely to be like last Sunday.
The festive season is well and truly with us and next Tuesday is our Christmas party at Crown. So if you haven't booked in then please do so. Our Social director Kevin and his merry helpers have a fantastic night planned with yummy food, Christmas gifts for the ladies plus live music and dancing. Let's join together to celebrate Christmas and enjoy fellowship and friendship. If you have family members, friends or potential members please feel free to invite the. Just advise numbers.
Many thanks to treasurer Neil for organizing to order the Rotary Christmas cakes and distribution to members. I should have ordered more!!
Until next Tuesday
Yours in Rotary
DIRECTOR & OTHER REPORTS
Finance Report - Neil Jones
Sausage Sizzle (3 Dec)
Sausage Sizzle (4 Dec)
Boot Sale (6 Dec)
The Rotary Foundation member EREY Contributions $172 (Cumulative $1,678)
TOPIC: "BOOKS AT BARGAIN PRICES" by Rotarian Bev Allop on the Capalaba Book Sales
Active Rotarian from Capalaba Rotary Club Bev Allsop, out lined her Club`s conduct of their" Bi-Annual Book Fest" in May and October. Chairman of arrangements for our Club`s "Book Fest" in early next year, P.P. Chris introduced Bev , who freely advised of the methods used by her Club. Bev has been her Club`s Book Fest Co-ordinator for 12 years.
The points she raised---How her Club runs their Book Sales. There has to be an over-all Book Co-ordinator supervising the programme. They conduct the Book Sale twice annually. Their Club seeks additional labour from out-side their Club for set-up (e.g. Army Cadets, RotarActs, Probus Club, Redlands Rotary Club). The operation is a weekly Club Service job.
It is desirable to use the same sales venue each time for the sale. Councils use this sales outlet for their surplus replaced inventory. Some books remain unsold. Children`s titles & activity books & Dr.Seusse sell very well. They leave some books predominately on their shelves. Titles have to be in categories. Table’s with signs.
The public provide excellent community support--through book swaps. People bring titles and make swaps. They are open for trading 3 days weekly. The project is on-going. Popular Authors are grouped especially---say 40 titles, or so. Prepare a schedule prior to Sale Day.
Advertising promotions in all media is important. 80% of customers become aware of their sale, through Street Signage. Allocating tasks before the sale date is important. They use 2 supervisors. Their sale commences after lunch on Friday--continues through Saturday and Sunday. Refreshments are available. Tea & Coffee, a Sausage Sizzle & cold drinks.
Pricing - All hard backs are $2.00 each. Paper Backs are $1.00 each. "Books at Bargain Prices" is their theme.
I figured that at age seven it was inevitable for my son to begin having doubts about Santa Claus.
Sure enough, one day he said, "Mom, I know something about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy."
Taking a deep breath, I asked him, "What is that?"
He replied, "They're all nocturnal."
"A dog in Seattle is making news after commuters noticed it had been riding the bus to a local park all by itself. Everyone says the dog is amazing, while the dog said, panicking, 'I gotta find that blind guy. I'm in a lot of trouble if I don't find him."
"A new study found that people with a lot of phobias are more likely to have health problems. Or as those people put it, 'I was afraid of that.'" -Jimmy Fallon
The doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her
life finally retired. At her next check-up, the new Doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her.
As the doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realized Grandma had a prescription for birth control pills.
"Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL Pills?’’
"Yes, they help me sleep at night."
"Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in these that that could possibly help you sleep!"
She reached out and patted the young Doctor's knee...."Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old Granddaughter drinks. and believe me, it definitely helps me sleep at night."
It is a Friday Funnies tradition to include The Office Christmas Party each year, Diane sent it in.
FROM: Pauline, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 21st October 2015
RE: Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 21st, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...please feel free to sing along.
And don't be surprised if the MD shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1.00p.m. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $20.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! The MD will make a special announcement at the Party.
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.
We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our 'Holiday Party'. The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table...you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, 'AA Only', you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!! How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody? Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the Union Officials feel that $20.00 is too much money and Management believe $20.00 is a little cheap. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets, Gays are allowed to sit with each other, L*sbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men's table too. To the person asking permission to cross dress - no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics; the restaurant cannot supply 'No Sugar' desserts. Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!
Vegetarians… I've had it with you people !!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the 'grill of death', as you so quaintly put it, you'll get your f,,,,,, salad bar, including organic tomatoes, But you know tomatoes have feelings too, They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing the scream right NOW !!
I hope you all have a rotten holiday, drink drive and die.
FROM: John Benson.( Acting Human Resources Director )
TO: All Employees
DATE: 28th October 2015
RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline a speedy recovery, and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, the Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead, give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full pay.
A teddy bear is working on a building site. He goes for a tea break and when he returns he notices his pick has been stolen. The bear is angry and reports the theft to the foreman.
The foreman grins at the bear and says "Oh, I forgot to tell you, today's the day the teddy bears have their pick nicked."
An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, "Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated ...38 revolver so you will always remember me."
"But grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"
"You lissina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos."
"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man.
"Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'Times up!' "?
Q. How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus weighed 7lbs 6ozs at birth?
A. Because they had Away in a manger
Q: What athlete is warmest in winter?
A: A long jumper!
Q: What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk?
A: Jingle Smells!
Q: What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?
A: A pineapple!
Q: What do Santa's elves learn in school?
A: The Elfabet.
Q: What do snowmen wear on their heads?
A: Ice caps!
Q: What sort of ball doesn't bounce?
A: A snowball!
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