Sergeant Russ, opened the meeting with a toast to The Queen following which he alerted members that today, the 19th July is the 100th anniversary of the Battle of Fromelles. The Australian 5th Division suffered 5,533 casualties in 24 hours making this the bloodiest day in our military history.

 

President Bruce welcomed 38 Rotarians and guests and especially welcomed our eight book stall volunteers who were guests of the club.

 

Graham Sivyer proposed a toast to all volunteers in our community.

 

Past Treasurer Neil Jones delivered his final financial report to the club - a concise report for the full year ended 30 June 2016. Highlights were:

-Funds carried forward to 2016/2017 $17,243 (includes $4,410 committed to Sister Clubs Global Grant)

-77 sausage sizzles for the year raised $33,060 net or $429 per sizzle

-24 Car Boot Sales for the year  raised $13,793 or $575 per event

-Our first Bo0ok Fair resulted in sales of $21,884 and a net income of $5,347

-Carrara Market Book Stall operated over 21 weekends with total sales $9,006. Based on average sales of $429 and rental of $170 weekly profit is $259

-Vehicle costs $3,235 down from $3,764 previous year

-Hub operating costs $5,347 partially offset by income $728

-Scooter Project total expenditure $14,482 partially offset by income $1,275

-Total community and charitable contributions (including member contributions to The Rotary Foundation) for the year $48,472

 

Members can feel justifiably proud of the achievements of your club in 2015/2016.

 

President Bruce reported that the Gold Coast Police Officer of the Year Awards had been successfully launched today with attendance of channel 9 and various radio stations.  Bruce also advised that awards chair Ray Milton was recovering well from his recent heart issues and would be back at Rotary within a few weeks.  On Ray's behalf, Neil Jones distributed award posters to members for display in public areas where ever possible.  Further posters are available from Ray Milton on request.

 

Sergeant Russ fined all and sundry with the exception of the Book Stall volunteers. Pauline won the raffle and then made a clean sweep by winning heads & tails.

 

President Bruce introduced guest speaker Paul Hammond from GOLDOC.

 

Paul began by highlighting that the 21st Commonwealth Games (4-15 April 2018) would be the fifth held in Australia and showed a short introductory video presented by Kurt Fearnley titled "Share the Dream"

 

Key points from Paul's presentation:

 

GOLDOC is the statutory body charged with presenting the games and currently employs 300 people which will increase to 1500 by games time.

Paul has been part of the team for 18 months and leads the accommodation team which is part of the Venue & Operations Group.

Apart from the Games Village which will house 6,600 athlets and team officials, Paul and his team are responsible for co-ordinating all other official and visitor accommodation for the Games.

 

The Commonwealth Games began in Hamilton, Canada in 1930 and has an integrated para-sports program within the main program.

6,600 athletes and team officials from 71 countries representing one third of the world population will compete in 18 sports and 7 para sports at 18 venues. 268 gold medals and 38 para gold medals will be decided over 12 days of competition.

 

Prior to the Games, the Queen's Baton Relay will progress from London through all 71 competing nations and throughout Australia arriving at Carrara Stadium for the opening ceremony on 4 April 2018.

 

The Games logo/branding features a swimmer, gymnast and hurdler and the mascot is "BOROBI" the unstoppable koala. BOROBI is the local aboriginal dialect for koala. 

 

15,000 volunteers will be required and the estimated economic impact of the Games is $2 billion.

 

1.5m tickets will be offered for sale. The release schedule is not yet finalised but usually begins about 12 months out from the event.  

 

Paul fielded numerous questions. President Bruce proposed a vote of thanks and presented our usual glass memento to Paul before closing the meeting.

 

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Firstly, some bad puns…
1. A will is a dead giveaway.
2. A backward poet writes inverse.
3. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.
4. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
5. If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
6. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.
7. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
8. You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
9. He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
10. A calendar’s days are numbered.
11. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
12. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
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A physician, an engineer, and a politician were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions. Each one of them thought they had this in the bag.
The physician said, "Remember, on the sixth day God took a rib from Adam and fashioned Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession."
The engineer replied, "But, before that, God created the heavens and earth from chaos and confusion, and thus he was the first engineer. Therefore, engineering is an older profession than medicine."
Then, the politician spoke up. "Yes yes, this is all well and true." he said.
"But who do you think created all of the chaos and confusion?"
--------------------------------------------

A man who had been stranded on a desert island for 10 years all alone sees an unusual speck on the horizon. “It’s certainly not a ship,” he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer he rules out the possibility of a small boat, then even a raft.
Suddenly emerging from the surf walking towards him comes a drop-dead gorgeous woman wearing a wetsuit and scuba gear. She approaches the stunned guy and asks, “How long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?”
“Ten years,” he says.
She reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a packet of fresh cigarettes. He takes a long drag and says, “Man oh man. This is good.”
She then asks him, “How long has it been since you had a sip of bourbon?”
Trembling, he replies “Ten years.”
She reaches over, unzips the waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and gives it to him. He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says, “This is absolutely fantastic.”
Then she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wetsuit, looks at the man seductively and asks, “And how long has it been since you’ve played around?”
The guy, with tears in his eyes, replies, “Oh my God. Don’t tell me you’ve got golf clubs in there.”
--------------------------------------------

*-- HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN --*
Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her,
stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her,
hold her, spend money on her, wine and dine her, buy things
for her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her, support
her, go to the ends of the earth for her....
*-- HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN --*
Show up n*ked, with beer....
--------------------------------------------

Paddy and Mick are waiting at a bus stop when a lorry containing rolls of turf passes by.
Mick says ''Dats what i'm a goin do when i win de lottery''
Paddy says ''Whats dat Mick?''
Mick replies '' Have me lawn sent away to be cut!
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Two friends meet in the street. The one man looked rather forlorn and down in the mouth. The other man asked, "Hey, how come you look like the whole world caved in?"
The sad fellow said, "Let me tell you. Three weeks ago, an uncle died and left me ten thousand dollars."
"I'm sorry to hear about the death, but a bit of good luck for you, eh?"
"Hold on, I'm just getting started. Two weeks ago, a cousin I never knew kicked the bucket and left me twenty thousand, free and clear."
"Well, you can't be disappointed with that!"
"Yep. But, last week my grandfather passed away. I inherited almost one hundred thousand dollars."
"Incredible... so how come you look so glum?"
"Well, this week...nothing!"
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Q: What was the gangsters last words?
A: Who put that violin in my violin case!

Q: What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?
A: Wet feet.

Q: What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?
A: A piano.

Q: What do you call a pig that does karate?
A: A pork chop.

Q: How do you make a hot dog stand?
A: Steal its chair.