WEEKLY LAUGHS
A few one-liners:
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.
My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline. She hit the ceiling.
A book fell on my head the other day. I only have my shelf to blame though.
Communist jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets them.
Geology rocks, but geography is where it's at.
The man who invented Velcro has died. RIP.
A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks, "Is this stool taken?"
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Q: What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
A: Rough! Rough!
Q: What did Neptune say to Saturn?
A: Give me a ring sometime!
Q: What stays in the corner and travels all over the world?
A: A stamp.
Q: Why did they have a funeral for the frog?
A: Because he croaked.
Q: Why did the ox lose his job on the farm?
A: Because he couldn't take a yoke.
Q: Why should you not trust the ocean?
A: Because there is something fishy about it.
Q: What did one flag say to the other flag?
A: Nothing. It just waved!
Selected Australian Trivia
31. In Australia, sheep out number people 2.5 to 1 (in 2020).
32. Australia was the second country in the world to give women the right to vote in 1902.
33. Per capita, Australians spend more money on gambling than any other nation, with over 80 percent of Australian adults engaging in gambling of some kind.
34. Canberra was selected as the capital because Sydney and Melbourne could not stop arguing which city should be the capital.
35. Australia is home to the longest fence in the world, the Dingo Fence. Originally built to keep dingos away from fertile land, the fence is now 5,614 km long.
36. The Australian dollar is considered to be the best designed currency in the world – it’s waterproof, made of polymer and notoriously hard to counterfeit.
37. Australia is the only continent covered by a single country.
38. The world’s oldest fossil was discovered in Australia – 3.4 billion years old.
39. Australia has around 600 varieties of eucalypt trees.
40. Australia was one of the founding members of the United Nations.
