Rotarian/club responses to recent droughts, bushfires, COVID-19 disasters:
provided funds and/or in-kind support to clubs/districts in affected areas
Rotary engaged by others such as Red Cross, Salvation Army, government
First responses through The Rotary Foundation have been difficult because:
District Grants - limited by the timing of the one-off district block grant
Global Grant – slow approval, challenging criteria
Recent changes:
District Grants
Districts can repurpose approved 2019-20 grants for COVID-19
COVID-19 expenses since 15 March eligible for 2020-21 district grants
Global Grants - US$30,000 -$400,000
Much faster approval process (85 approved since Mar 15 = US$6.8M)
Waived 30% international partner requirement for COVID-19 grants
Waived competitive bidding requirement for COVID-19 grant costs
Allowing food as a minor component for COVID-19 grants
Disaster Response Grants - US$25,000
Support relief/recovery efforts by Rotarians in disaster-affected areas
Provide basic items eg food, water, medicine, clothing, shelter
Apply within 6 months of a disaster
Dependent on availability of funds
Districts in affected areas or country can apply for 1 grant at a time
Very quick approval, some < 1 week (163 since Mar 15 = US$3.4M)
FINANCE REPORT - Noel Hodges
Meeting
12 May 2020
Fines
$
No Sausage Sizzle Until further Notice
$
Copper Pot
$
Car Boot Sale No Car boot this week
Raffle
$
TOTAL
$
TOTAL
$
SECRETARY REPORT - Pres Elect Sec Les Bulluss,
ATTENDANCE REPORT 12th May 2020
MEETINGS CANCELLED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.
19
Broadbeach Members by ZOOM
Honorary Members
Member's Guests/Visiting Rotarians
1
Guest Speaker Mr Tony Heading
20
Total Attendance Via Zoom conferencing
MEETING DUTY ROSTER.
Next ZOOM link up Tues 26th May
Hi All,
I have met with Carrara Markets centre manager this morning.
Car boot sales will not be re commencing at this time due to non clarity in relation to social distancing.
HOWEVER when car boot sales do recommence at Carrara Markets they will be managed by the market personnel for at least a couple of months, to enable the markets to gain some income (total income being retained by them).
Like most businesses the markets have been void of income and rent for sometime and are in a catch up situation. I have assured the manager we will be ready to go when required.
A burglar breaks into a house when it appears no one is at home. He flashes his torch around the rooms to check and he starts on the silverware.
He hears a voice say, “Jesus is watching you”. Nervously he shines the torch around and sees nothing. He creeps over to the safe and hears the voice again “Jesus is watching you”. Terrified, he sweeps the room with the beam of the torch and catches sight of a parrot. “Did you say that?” he said to the parrot. The parrot replied, “Yes, I’m just trying to warn you, that’s all.”
The burglar said “Warn me, who are you? What’s your name”? The parrot replied “Moses”. “Well, what kind of an idiot would name his parrot Moses? The parrot said, “I don’t know, I suppose it is the same idiot that called the Rotweiller Jesus”.
Got caught having a pee in the local swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loudly, I nearly fell in
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Yesterday I saw a guy spill all the letters from a Scrabble box on the road. I asked him, "What's the word on the street?"
It reminded me of the time my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. For days he kept leaving little messages around the house.
I told my sad friend 10 jokes to get him to laugh. Sadly, no pun in 10 did…..
Q: What do you call a bear with no ears?
A: B.
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Ask any man, and he will tell you that any woman's ultimate fantasy is to have two men at once. While this has been verified by a recent sociological study, it appears that most men do not realize that in this fantasy, one man is cooking and the other is cleaning.
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After a long day of shopping, my mother and I stopped at a grocery store. I ran in to pick up a few things, leaving her in the car. As I approached the checkout I was surprised to see my mother there waiting for me.
"Mom," I said, "what are you doing in here? I left the motor running."
"It's all right, dear," she replied reassuringly. "I locked the doors."
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A joke for the ages
The neighbor dropped in on a friend and found her sitting at the kitchen table, staring blankly at a half-empty cup of coffee; her three kids squabbling loudly in the other room.
"What's wrong, Marge?" she asked.
Marge told her that she had "morning sickness".
Surprised the neighbor said, "I didn't even know you were pregnant."
"I'm not," the harried woman replied. "I'm just damn sick of mornings."
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A woman confided to her girlfriend, "My ex-husband wants to marry me again."
The friend said, "How flattering."
The woman replied, "Not really. I think he's after the money I married him for."
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What did the inflatable teacher say to the inflatable naughty student, from the inflatable school? Not only did you let me down, you let yourself down, and the whole school down!
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If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?
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"Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it." --Mark Twain
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Three guys are debating which of their languages is the most pleasing to the ear.
The Italian says, "Consider the phrase, 'I love you.' In Italian, it is: 'Ti amo'. What a lovely sound!"
The French guy says, "True, but in French it is: 'Je t'adore'. An even more beautiful sound!"
"What's wrong with: 'Ick leibe dich," asks the German?
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Concerned about fitness in my middle 40s, I enrolled in an aerobics class. To my dismay I walked into a room filled with much younger women and decided to combat my nervousness with humor. "I'm here to do my postnatal exercises," I told the instructor.
She gave me an appraising look. "How old is your baby?"
"Twenty-six," I replied.
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The Washington Post's Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some of this year's winners:
Bozone (N.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Cashtration (N.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Sarchasm (N): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte (V): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis (N): Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis (N): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
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Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut her up with chocolate.
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Q: What did the farmer say when he saw his cows coming over the hill?
A: "Here come my cows coming over the hill."
Q: What did the farmer say when he saw the cows coming over the hill wearing sun glasses?
A: He didn't say a thing. He didn't recognize them.
Q: How do you make a bandstand?
A: Take away their chairs.
Q: Why did the king go to the dentist?
A: To get his teeth crowned.
Q: Why did the cowboy ride his horse?
A: Because it was too heavy to carry.
QUOTE FOR THE WEEK
"Spread Love every where you go.Let no one ever come to you without Leaving Happier" Mother Teresa
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