Newsletter 9-24-13

**Needham Rotary Club**

Minutes of Meeting Sept. 25, 2013

Held at Needham Sheraton

President Glen opened the meeting with the Pledge of Allegiance, Bob Cocks led us in ‘God Bless America’, and Daryl Minnich delivered the invocation.

Lois Sockol helped us recite Rotary’s  4 way test, and Ryan Damaso led us in the welcome song for our visitors..

Announcements:

The musical night has been postponed until January 25th

Gary Zeller and Bill Paulson have the dictionary program going.  Next week there will be three presentations.

The harvest fair sign ups are going around, so help support this effort happening on 10/5.

Ted brought us up to date on the Gift of Life.

Bill Paulson read a letter from our exchange student in France.

50/50:  The 50/50 number was #584>  Lucky Chuck Buyer however he didn’t pick the Jack of Diamonds.  The $104 remains until next week (at Wingate).

HAPPY DOLLARS:

Some for the Red Sox.; Ken for his son Adam starting with Buzzfeed; Bill for Hope Walks; Ted for Felix’s family safe in Kenya; Gary made his first sale on his new job! A few HTBH, Ryan for a great fundraiser; Erica for a wonderful weekend; Doug for living thru a son’s move; Ron and Lois for feeling wonderful and an incredible vacation.

GUEST SPEAKER:

Our guest speaker, Tom Jacob, spoke about the Downtown Streetscape Committee and how they were viewing the different elements of the downtown that they are trying to improve and their limitations. Tom chair’s the committee and he explained that they have about two million dollars in the kitty now and need more for their ambitious vision.  Members of the committee are from different areas of Needham’s community and they seem to have a handle on the issues.

HUMOR: Provided by this week’s bulletin editor, Doug George:  Definitions:

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows. Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have some vodka. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows. They make real California cheese. Only five speak English. Many are illegals. Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.