Weekly Get Up & Go - BONUS Edition!
Posted by Meaghan Likes aka "Sadistic Editor"
on Mar 22, 2015
News & Views (again!) by:
The "less quick & dirty(?!)" Reporter:
Will Portello
Pres. Chuck rang the bell at 7:06 a.m. That led to a small bit of panic on the part of the reporter, since he was still standing in line for bacon when the chime sounded. The bacon retrieval process was slow, due to Manny’s insistence on inspecting each piece, before assembling it into the stack of salted cured pork on his plate. But the reporter made it back to his seat before the delay became a true crisis. Dave Morse’s piano skills are truly something to behold. Better and better each time. Once “America the Beautiful,” and “Smile,” had been completed, the meeting launched. Someone at the Get Up & Go editorial board decided that a certain reporter should report two consecutive “Student of the Month” meetings, much to the chagrin of this writer. However Dick Bourne noted that the GU&G staff actually was not tasked to write anything about SOM. If you’re expecting more coverage, talked to the man.
Nancy Storm sailed into her introductory speech to the assembled parents, students, administrators, and teachers. It appears that the formerly cursory introduction is now encountering “mission creep,” and is getting longer….. At least we didn’t have any made – up “800-Call-Rotary” improvisations, which left this writer pondering his telephone keypad for an extended period.
One Student of the Month was done, we moved right into our introductions: Andrew Newman! brought his wife Jan. Ava Portello was in attendance with her father, the GU&G writer. Pres. Chuck returned from Africa, but somehow had done a make-up meeting in the Cotswalds in England. The connection seemed unclear. However there seem to be a gratuitous remark, aimed at Former-President Bruce Wolk, about the lack of desirability of science trivia. It had something to do with numbers. Speaking of numbers, Bruce’s is “10,” because those were his fining increments when the real hell started raining down. Another item of interest according to Chuck involves the pouring of a concrete slab in the beer serving area for the barbecue. As someone with an undergraduate minor in “beer” and “beer pouring,” that doesn’t seem wise. Beer+mud= good clean fun; Beer+concrete= sutures and deductible. On the other hand, from a contingency fee standpoint, the idea has merit . The District Assemblies are kicking off, with the first District Assembly proceeding on March 28, at Butte College. A second District Assembly will follow on April 5. The reporter sort of missed the details on the second assembly, because he hadn’t heard Newman! say the wife’s name, and he was asking a tablemate. But he got his question answered, and the details on the second assembly will probably get repeated. No loss. If you want reliable reporting, you’ll have to go elsewhere. The 4-Way Speech contest is going to be a regional effort this year. Six speeches; one night. Could be very entertaining. The fun starts at 6 PM on April 1, at the Veterans Memorial. Block out your calendar for April 10, from 6 PM to 8 PM, for the Jay Gerber Young Leader Award. Vanessa will be emceeing the event, and has a bang–up program. Don’t miss it; the most worthwhile event. Speaking of young leaders, the candidates for Camp Royal and Camp Venture have been selected. More to follow. Suzanne presented a flag from the Metropolitan Rotary Club of Hong Kong herself. Apparently the club is seeking to revamp the rather unique method of selecting organ donors in China. It’s not far off the old Monte Python sketch about liver donation , right down to “but I’m using it.” Sure hope that some changes are forthcoming! Following a short announcement from Larry about the March Madness pool, Dick Berry pounced on the chance for some fine–free publicity for Michigan State. Dave Morris and Nikki are putting together a manual for Youth Services, including some information on scholarships and mentoring. Trivia Night was a rollicking success with ACME Theater winning the show. As a former ACME-an himself, the author approves. $2800 bucks were raised. Nice job on the event! Vanessa gave us a report about the Food Bank; apparently they ran out of food to bank, and the work situation became rather leisurely for folks later on the schedule. GingerElf is working on advancing the sign in times for the next go round. Mack Walker announced his upcoming speaker; it’s something about either bicycling, or motorcycling, or unicycling a great distance. The writer was trying to restart his daughter’s Minecraft game on the IPad, and sort of missed the point. Dick Bourne then chimed in something about Ludlow, but it was lost.
With the close of the happy part of the meeting, the time for fun and frivolity ended. Sergeant Suzanne remembered Happy Bucks this time, and the crowd earned a brief respite, much like a condemned man when the gallows trap door sticks. Dick Berry got things rolling with a classy handshake involving the upcoming MSU-Georgia game, since MSU was playing Chuck Snipes’ Bulldogs (Unfortunately for Chuck, his Dawgs rolled over and played dead, losing later that morning). Newman! gave happy bucks for their daughter’s success. Mike Lairmore and Bob Poppenga both tried to give something for UC Davis’ Vet School success. Dick McCapes sat by silently, arms crossed, clenching his social security money tight, refusing to play along. Jerry Kaneko was smiling down from above, no doubt. I think we all would have loved to hear Jerry’s thoughts about a #1 ranking, for 20 minutes or so…. Mack Walker is going to have a grandchild. Hopefully someone else is around, so that the kid doesn’t end up rooting for the Cowboys, and thinking Lone Star is good beer… Nancy gave happy bucks for Todd Storm being there: “darling hubby” (the reporter threw up a little in his mouth when he read that aloud). Nancy also channeled her inner Bloomberg, and gave a report about US Foods and Sysco, and the FTC’s rejection of the merger. She will be working for PFG… so keep the frozen mini-tacos coming! Mitch went for a Happy Bucks Trifecta: Solar Eclipse/1st Day of Spring/His Birthday. Can’t go wrong with paying for planetary orbits. Clay Brandow’s oldest daughter Chloe is going to have a residency in Fresno, so she’ll be back in California. Sort of. I mean, it’s Fresno. So it’s more like living in Oklahoma. Meaghan Likes gave some dinero for her husband being voted the best window washer in Yolo County. Mark Pratt dropped some change on his daughter’s 3-for-3 t-ball outing.
And with that, the happiness ended. Sergeant Suzanne decided the day was a “10,” because it seemed like every fine she handed out was $10.00. Jack Latow, Dave Heard, and Vic got hit for “Doing the Jack,” which is just frightening.The reporter may have missed the details, because he was busy covering Ava’s ears before things got descriptive. Even Jack seem discomfited by the thought. But apparently, it’s a transient tax for Woodlandites. Winfred was going to get tagged for something, but happily fessed up and paid, because being the Superintendent is the “best job in the world.” Mark Pratt got whacked for the 49er offseason parade of horribles. Nancy Storm nearly had a kitten trying to throw the reporter under the bus on the Niner issues, fortunately without success. But since the Reporter is also a Sergeant, it will doubtless be remembered. “Silence is golden.” Stanford alums Jim Smith and Bruce Wolk then got whacked $10 each for the Stanford win over UCD in the NIT. Then, drunk with power, and stuck on 10, Suzanne whacked Bruce again for $10, as well as John Yeomans, for both wearing a blue sweater… seemed a bit arbitrary and capricious. Bruce was reeling. He may have been hit for $10 again for some trivial offense, but the reporter couldn’t stand it, and had to look away from the carnage. Vanessa finally fessed up to running the Shamrock, and bravely dropped her money in the basket, despite the whimpers from Dean Wolk’s table, where he was trying to put a brave face on things, having been beaten like a drum.
With that last fine, the bloodletting ceased, and a stunned silence descended. With 14 cards left, at $1295 in the pot, Dick Bourne’s ticket was drawn for the umpteenth time; yet again, he left with a free breakfast.