Ken is the CEO of TERRIO Physical Therapy & Fitness. TERRIO provides outpatient physical therapy services out of 14 clinics spread across Bakersfield, Tehachapi, Delano, and Fresno.
Program:
As Rotarians entered The BLVD they were immediately propositioned by three “greeters” begging them to sign up for games. The recruitment efforts were intense, and several Rotarians commented that the greeters must be working off commission.
The Rotary meeting began as usual, and Brad Barnes led the club in a rousing rendition of Jackson Browne’s “Boulevard.” The song ended with the lyrics “it’s okay,” which is an appropriate way to describe the song. There were no good news announcements, and President Ray introduced visiting guests and Rotarians by announcing they would be introduced at the next meeting. Finally, the games began…
It started with a highly competitive Foosball match featuring Ken Beurmann against Sam Newland. Each had a visiting guest as their partner, but because they were not formally introduced we’ll simply call them David and Mikela. After intense back-and-forth action Ken finally slammed home the game-winning goal – proving once again he’s the best Foosballer this side of the Atlantic.
Moving over to the ropes course was truly a horrifying adventure. If ever there was a time The BLVD needed liability insurance – this was it. Former Past Presidents Steve Roach and Steve Williford went first, followed closely by current President Ray Watson. Seeing these three men dangle twenty feet above the air made the average onlooker sick to their stomach, and it proved Rotary is brilliant for having a line of succession in place should anything happen to the President. Luckily all three prevailed, but style points were few and far between.
If the Rose Bowl is the ‘Grand Daddy of them All’ – then Laser Tag was the ‘Grand Daddy of the BLVD.” Dressed in suits and ties ten brave Rotarians engaged in a battle that made the Shootout at the OK Corral look like child’s play. Team ‘Ginger’ was led by General Ken Beurmann, and consisted of Joe Hay, Mike Willis, Joe Gregory, and Rylan Rozell. Meanwhile, Team ‘Unknown’ was led by Corporal Jon Sampson, and consisted of Eddie Payne, Jeff Chandler, Nik Boone, and an unknown visiting guest who we shall call GI Jen. The following is a play-by-play of what occurred inside that dark facility…
It began with Jon Sampson accidentally firing his gun (after being told repeatedly not to do so during the prep period). Jon’s friendly fire killed three of his teammates before the game even started, and if you’re ever on a hunting party with Jon please be sure to stand behind him. Once the game started Team Ginger stormed the arena like it was Normandy Beach, and Mike ‘Rambo’ Willis immediately secured Bunker Hill. Joe Gregory engaged in a battle with GI Jane, and Joe lost miserably because he had no IT support. A fierce firefight then broke out between Pastor Chandler and three Gingers. Surrounded and outnumbered, Pastor Chandler tossed a grenade into the crowd and Ryan Rozell valiantly dove on top of it to save General Beurmann’s life. However, the grenade turned out to be a cell phone, and Rozell was then shot in the back by Pastor Chandler. Feeling guilty, Pastor Chandler became short of breath and nearly passed out. In a show of great humanity General Beurmann provided Pastor Chandler with medical aid, and right about the time Pastor Chandler recovered Joe Hay shot him. The fighting raged on for another eight minutes, and it concluded when Eddie Payne complained the game was too violent. In the end Team Ginger was victorious, but Nik Boone (who is barely old enough to purchase a gun legally in the United States) had the top individual score.
If you've ever been to Mexico, you'll know about the Timeshare Hucksters that hassle you as you leave the airport lobby. These guys were worse.
The body language here says "I've never heard of Jackson Brown, nor this stupid song."
No one wanted Jeff Green on their Laser Tag team.
They don't call him "No Fear Ray" for nothing.
The fire department was called out to rescue Steve Roach from the ropes course.
Jon Sampson briefed us on the sport of "Laser Tag". Later, Nik "Antman" Boone would school us all, by about 3000 points.
The food wasn't bad, but we all missed the Hodel's Mystery Fruit Salad... NOT.
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About this week's guest editor Ken Beurmann:
