PS:  You will never figure out who I am…so don’t even try. 

Setting the Stage
 

Greeters:  Dr. Jeff Chandler was one of two greeters that welcomed each of us to the meeting by shaking our hands and scanning our badges.  Is there a friendlier Rotarian?  If so, I can’t find one.  Dr. Chandler was assisted by the awesome personality known as Justin Leiland. 

(It should be noted that there was one major problem with check-in:  Justin wore a very fancy tie and this made everyone extremely nervous.  Did we do something wrong?  Was the tie meant to impress the District Governor?  Does Justin have a job interview?  This whole fancy tie thing is a mystery shrouded in a labyrinth hidden in a new Rotarian welcome bag.)

 

Short Pants Ellis: While Justin’s fancy tie made us nervous, his business partner, Garro Ellis, wore an ensemble that left us green with envy.  Garro, suffering from a torturous hamstring injury, was dressed in what most of the readers will call “short pants.”   Garro’s lovely gams were the talk of the room.  More impressive than his luscious limbs was the fact that Garro toughed it out and made it to Rotary despite the injury.  Here’s to a speedy recovery for our favorite ski resort tycoon. 

 

Culinary Curiosities:  Rotarians in attendance were treated to a unique culinary delight during lunch.  For the first time in 7 long days club members were served Hodel’s broccoli salad.  Officially, this was the club’s 100,000,000^th serving of the dish and it was just as mayonnaise-y good as the first 99,999,999 times.  Fun fact:  This sugary side is *technically* a vegetable! 

Just beyond the broccoli salad laid the second big concern of the meeting:   The coffee service had been altered! With almost no advanced notice, the current administration has centralized the caffeinated goodness to a drum-sized dispenser in the back of the room.  The rationale behind this seismic policy shift is yet to be determined but a formal investigation by the special coffee council seems imminent. 

 

Official business began right on time.  Leading the club through the opening pomp and circumstance were the following Rotarians:

 

Invocation:  Jessie Lopez did a heavenly job.  #BSA for Life!!!

Flag Salute: Larry Reider was wonderful.  It’s almost as if he had worked in education since 1965 and had heard that same pledge recited a couple hundred thousand times. 

Song: Brad Hannick lead the club in a rousing rendition of America the Beautiful.  

 

Roving Mic Men: Ken Carter handled the mic like a pro. He was at the top of his game.  But isn’t he always?  Mike George had a mic but didn’t get called into action; he still managed to exceed our expectations.   If the club ever publishes a calendar of roving mic men these two chaps should grace the cover.

 

 

 

Mike on the Mic:  Mike McCoy brought his “favorite daughter”, Claire, to Rotary.   She’s an alumnus of Chico State (Go Wildcats!) and an educator.  She is passionate about serving students with developmental disabilities and her talents were previously put to good work in rural Argentina.  Her next assignment is at Lakeside School in Bakersfield.  We wish Claire luck in her noble profession! 

 

In totally unrelated news, Mike’s other children (i.e. the “non favorite” ones) announced on social media that they won’t be home for the holidays.  The silver lining here is that Director McCoy will have plenty of time to drive revenue at the museum during the holiday season.  For this reason, Sheryl Barbich and the rest of the Kern County museum board are also big fans of Mike’s favorite daughter, Claire.

 

Margarita Party:  Speaking of the illustrious Sheryl Barbich….the annual margarita party is on Thursday, September 13 at Lou and Cheryl’s house.  RSVP by emailing Mary Castaneda.  And don’t forget that the standard Rotary noontime meeting is dark on Thursday, September 13. 

 

Club Runner: Instructions for logging in to the Club Runner website can be accessed by logging into the Club Runner website and using a wildcard search to locate and then download the instructions for logging in to Club Runner. 

 

Tracy turns 20: Tracy Walker Kiser is celebrating her 20^th year in Rotary next week!  Everyone is ready to celebrate this milestone…as soon as we figure out which club president allowed a 12-year-old girl to join the club in 1998.

 

Sadistic Statistic:  President Ray fined all Dodger fans $25 dollars because the Padres are statistically out of the pennant race.  Already. Let’s-Go-Dod-Gers!

 

Big Jim:  President Ray fined Jim Damian $100.00 because his business process outsourcing company, Stria, made the INC 5000 list for the third time.  Jim gave a brief infomercial on his company and, just to change things up, Garro Ellis, Joe Gregory and Dave Plivelich were gracious enough to allow Mr. Damian time to finish his thoughts. 

 

Chertock Talk:  Michael Chertok promised to pay $100 to the club if the Houston Astros pulled out another world series victory. 

 

District 5240 Governor Sandi Schwartz was the guest of honor and delivered the program.  Before her talk, Governor Schwartz presented special awards to Jay Rosenlieb, Dick Porter and Steve Sanders.  The recognition was well received with nearly 5% those in attendance applauding the issuance of these special citations. 

 

After recognizing the aforementioned Rotarians, Governor Schwartz delivered a rousing talk on her personal story and her vision for the future.  The Governor’s message for 2018-19 centered on three items: 

Governor Schwartz reminded those present that Bakersfield’s downtown Rotary club is the largest club in District 5240. (This makes it all the more logical that we would have the longest Spoke newsletter).  The Governor also reminded the membership that this year’s District conference is slated for October 5th and 6th at the Doubletree Inn in Bakersfield. There are number of events being held in conjunction with the conference including a Pints for Polio event at Temblor on October 5 and a 0.0 fun run on October 6. The presentation ended with Madam Governor reminding those in attendance that the vision of Rotary is as that: