OK, so I'm sitting with my table mates this Thursday, my eyes glazed over from another heavy Hodel's buffet. Apparently they can only make pit beef and roast chicken now. My gaze sweeps across the room, and I realize my Spoke corespondent, Toni Harper, isn't in the sparse crowd attendance. I whip out my phone and start recording. That's what a crack editor does, he steps up! My AI assistant, Bob, took notes for me. If he gets anything wrong, please send your corrections and comments to President Jeff. 

Invocation: One of the dudes from the Corporate Chaplains of America table

Flag Salute: not sure

Song: President Jeff

Roving Mics: Bill Lever

Good News and stuff

GRANTS
The Waterman Grand Settlement grant season closed May 1st with 46 applications totaling $972,000 in requests against a $50,000 annual pool. The Secret Grant Committee meets June 4th to select recipients. A standing reminder: grants are for capital projects only — no salaries, consultant fees, or operational expenses. Applicants must be non-profit organizations with a member sponsor.

1,000 FLAGS
Breakfast Rotary's 1,000 Flags Memorial event returns for its 12th year at Riverwalk Park over Memorial Day weekend. Saturday opens with a noon ceremony, followed by a free evening concert featuring Studio O, The Habits, and the Kern County Bag Pipers. Salty's Barbecue dinner is $20 — tickets were available at the meeting. Sunday morning features 5K and 1K fun runs through the field of flags. Monday wraps with the Patriots Fair (48+ veterans and first responder booths) and a 3:00 PM closing ceremony where donations are presented to two veterans groups and one first responder group. Volunteers are welcome Saturday at 7:00 AM. Five local surveying crews, including Dewalt Corporation, donate their time each year to precisely position flags around underground infrastructure — a meaningful contribution that saves the volunteer group significant cost.

Ken Beurmann using psychic power to bend my fork.

program

Member Ryan Crowl introduced Corporate Chaplains of America, a workplace chaplaincy organization his company has partnered with for five years. Their assigned chaplain, Roman, has logged 5,800 employee interactions and nearly 3,000 individual care sessions in that time. CCA has operated for nearly 30 years with 450+ chaplains nationwide. Their model — weekly, in-person workplace visits with full confidentiality — addresses a gap that traditional Employee Assistance Programs often miss; standard EAPs see just 3–7% utilization, while CCA's on-site presence makes support far more accessible. They serve industries with high turnover and high stress, including construction, restaurants, and trucking, with clients ranging from 400 Chick-fil-A locations to Coca-Cola Consolidated. Monthly fees typically run under $1,000 for companies of 50–100 employees, with no long-term commitment. Chaplain Roman, who has served in this role for 43 years beginning as a volunteer at Corcoran Prison, closed with a personal testimony that was a highlight of the meeting.