Mr. Winkler Speaks of Masculinity Radicalization; We Say "Huh?"
Mark Winkler- - Mr. Winkler seemed intent on telling us just enough of his story during our Zoom meeting to prompt us to go out and buy his book. Let's see if we can influence the Amazon book ranking chart... (Getty Images)
This Past Tuesday, January 12, 2021
It was an odd meeting for Downey Rotary. We welcomed President Willy Medina back from his absence, but then had to painfully acknowledge the passing of former Downey Rotary President Dr. Ed Potter to COVID-19. Raul Lopez filled the Zoom participants in on the details of the sad news. See articles below for some reflections.
Debbie Fox handled the invocation, and Jesse Vargas was capable with the Flag Salute. John Lacey oversaw the Finemaster responsibilities with skill, but based on how much time he took in the fining process, he may have mistakenly believed he was the program for the day.
The actual program for Tuesday’s meeting was Mr. Mark Winkler. While we’re not sure of Mr. Winkler’s occupation, he spoke of a book he has written titled, “My Daughter’s Keeper.” The background to his story involves the concept of radicalization of masculinity, a term your editor is not smart enough to understand. Lorine’s article below discusses it in further detail, as she is better equipped to explain difficult concepts.
Let the record show that seldom-seen Downey Rotarian Dr. Xochitl Ortiz has actually attended two Rotary Zoom meetings in a row. Perhaps we can credit her reappearance to a 2021 New Year’s resolution, or maybe veiled threats from Rotary district henchmen have had their desired effect. Either way, we welcome Dr. Xochitl’s attendance.
Next Tuesday, January 19, 2021
In a very timely, post-holiday meeting, program chair Mel Sanchez has an unusual surprise for us. The last remaining fruitcake left in the continental U.S. will speak to us on Tuesday of rejection, loneliness, and misunderstanding.
Fruitcake Freddy, as he is affectionately called, will tell his story of creation in 1984, gifting and re-gifting untold times, and one humorous anecdote of surviving a warehouse fire and a train wreck all in one hectic 24 hour period.
Freddy will also be pitching his new book, “Fruitcakes & Cockroaches; the Last Two Survivors on Earth” published by Bantam Books.
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In His Own Words
Jorge Montero - My 1st Rotary Moment
(Editor's note: Downey Rotarian Jorge Montero, he of Letter to the Editor fame in many issues of The Downey Patriot, has graced the Hub Bub with an article and a challenge to other Downey Rotarians. In his words:)
"Below is my contribution for the Hub-Hub. Perhaps this will motivate other Rotarians to share their first experience with Rotary."
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My first Rotary experience occurred when I was 12 years old and was in my last year of elementary school (it is six years in Ecuador).
My father was a very strict disciplinarian and didn't believe in sparing the rod. He demanded and got top academic performance from me and my siblings.
I was a very good student but I was an Al Gore-type of kid, the kind that would remind the teachers to give assignments if they forgot to do it.
We were supposed to graduate and we were told that the local Rotary Club members would come to the graduation ceremony and give a prize to the best student. I was pleased with this development because I was the best student in the class and was ready to claim my prize.
The Rotarians, however, pulled a fast one on me and decided to let the students vote who should receive the prize. So instead of a recognition of achievement it became a popularity contest, and I didn't win.
To make matters worse, my father forced me to congratulate the winner.
I was very mad with the Rotary Club and I promised myself that one day I would get even with them. I finally did it in Downey when I joined the Rotary Club. They now have the stigma of having me as a member.
That is my revenge.
Stay safe/Stay connected/Jorge
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Brad Howard Is Coming to Town
Lorine Loves District Speaker
by Lorine Parks
If you helped donate wheelchairs in India, or help start a clean water project in Africa, if you took eyeglasses to Mexico or books to Guatemala, or attended the convention in Seoul, then you’ve probably met Brad. Or, if you visit a meeting of the Rotary Club of Oakland Sunrise of which he is a charter member, you will find Brad in person. Brad leads tours for the firm his father founded in 1948 that Brad took over.
On February 2, Rotarians will have a chance to meet him at the District Breakfast, and I encourage you all to sign up. He is a dynamic speaker, whom I interviewed several years ago for the District Newsletter. His home base is Oakland California, and Brad was hard to pin down for an appointment, but I was determined not to take no for an answer.
He agreed to give me a half hour of his time while he was being driven from O’Hare Airport in Chicago to Rotary International Headquarters in Evanston Illinois, and he shared his ideas on increasing club membership.
“For West Coast clubs,” said Brad, “the highest priority is celebrating the opportunity to make connections. People join Rotary, first of all to create and be part of a community. That includes fellowship and friendships. Second, they join to make a difference in the community.”
If your club is growing, maybe you don’t need to change a thing, Brad says. “But if it has not grown in years, then the group has to be willing to re-consider itself. Some clubs are stuck in “the way we’ve always done it.”
“How does the Rotary sign at the entrance to your community look, for starters? Is your Club Rotary sign at the local park? These signs are Rotary’s front door,” said Brad. “What does it say to potential members when the sign is worn, rusted, old fashioned?”
“If your club is losing membership or standings still, “said Brad, “you need to reconnect with your community. The clubs that best represent the demographics are most in touch with what is needed. Today people are having lunch sitting in front of their computers. How do we connect with them?”
Today, Brad suggests, there are other equally good ways to get members engaged as the one Paul Harris chose, meeting for a meal. Participating in a Board session, a work project, a social event, committee work can bring a depth of engagement as important as perfect attendance at lunch meetings.”
In answer to a question about how he keeps his energy reservoir full, Brad says, “You get energy when you’re connecting to the people you’re working with.”
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What We're Reading This Week
Yeah, we understand it's not our normal offering, but since this edition of the Hub Bub appears to be a bit on the serious side, here's what we're reading this week.
The Brothers Karamazov is a passionate philosophical novel that enters deeply into questions of God, free will, and morality. It is a theological drama dealing with problems of faith, doubt, and reason in the context of a modernizing Russia.
Oh, and I think one of the brothers kills his dad. It's 900+ pages of small print and there are no pictures.
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District Slating DEI Seminar
The District 5280 Peace and Conflict Resolution Committee has been developing an informative (virtual) program for members to support the District’s Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI) goals. The program is based on Rotary International statements on Diversity, Equity and Inclusion and on Racism. Interested in this oh-so-timely topic? Register on the District website for the January 23rd event.
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Letter From the Editor
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An Open Letter to Pastor of Calvary Chapel Downey
Dear Pastor – this Hub Bub letter was originally going to be a tribute to a good friend and Rotarian that passed away last week from Covid-19. That tragic news came on the heals of a recent story published in our Downey Patriot about your refusal to lead the Calvary Chapel congregation in a manner consistent with county and state health and safety regulations. These rules were specifically designed not to hinder the practice of your faith, but to ensure the safety of your congregation, and all of us who live in this state and community.
I write this on Sunday morning, having just attended our church’s Sunday service. It was conducted outdoors, under large canopies, and with everyone socially distanced and masked up. It was a cool, breezy morning, and it was a beautiful opportunity for my wife, me, and a crowd of parishioners to practice our faith. It was neither a burden nor a hindrance.
I’m trying to wrap my head around why you feel compelled to put your congregation at risk by ignoring sound epidemiological advice. In the same way that Dr. Anthony Fauci knows not to give advice on saving the souls of the faithful, neither should you put yourself in the position of dispensing immunological guidance. Is your arrogance so imbedded that you’re willing to sacrifice the health of your church membership? The article in the Downey Patriot highlighted illness and death among your own Calvary Chapel Downey members and leadership. And yet the story indicates you still have a routine, willful disregard for following rules designed to protect lives.
Why would you so overtly choose to put your church members at risk?
I’ll presume you partially attained your position of pastor by having some level of intelligence, so the only other rationale for your callous disregard for the safety of Calvary Chapel’s parishioners is either extreme hubris, or maybe a reluctance to dealing with the inconvenience of moving your services outdoors.
You have a leadership responsibility to your church members, and indeed to the entire local community, and you are failing them all.
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Rotary Hub Bub readers: one day I may apologize for using the Hub Bub to vent. But not today. Occasionally, stupidity needs to be called out.
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SnapShot: Meeting Highlights
By Lorine Parks
The Zoom club meeting was overshadowed by the news of the unexpected death of our own Ed Potter. If there was ever a fitting subject for John Lacey’s encomium about declaring love for one another, Dr. Ed was that man.
My appreciation of him appears in this week’s Downey Patriot and also on Facebook. I took the picture of Ed at the last 10K Winner Night Event before we had to meet virtually. It was the Rotary pipeline that helped me write the story. I mentioned on Zoom to the club that I would be writing it, and John Lacey told Ed Sussman, who asked me to call him for a statement.
Editor's Note - my favorite Ed Potter picture, after a Cirque du Soleil performance in LA
Ed gave me Stan Handstat’s number. From Stan I got more personal comments and Stan confirmed that Dr. Ed had died of the corona virus. That jibed with what Raul Lopez had said at the meeting, that he probably was infected at a Christmas gathering.
Another good life wasted. You could say, Ed died as he had lived, talking to people.
FINE MASTER Obi-Wan Kenobi otherwise known as John Lacey, began by announcing that all finees would be levied $25, except for those who harass the Fine Mater. They would get $100 applied against them. A suitable decorum ensued.
Fine Master got Barbara Lamberth to describe how she and Patricia Megallon giftwrapped presents from their wish lists for our club to give to 10 needy families, as designated by TLC. “We wrapped 66 presents,” Barbara said, “and made sure there was a gift for every young person in each family.”
“I decorated the baskets,” said Patricia. “And then we delivered them to the schools, and TLC delivered them to the families.
Noting there were 22 participants at this week’s Zoom meeting, Fine Master congratulated Xochitl Ortiz for returning after a long absence. “Some have missed you, “said the FM. “Some didn’t know you were gone.”
“Today,” said the Fine Master in closing, “take some time to make some one’s day. Tell them you love them. I love all of you, except one or two.”
Mel Sanchez introduced the day’s speaker, Mark Winkler, who explained how he came to write the book, “My Daughter’s Keeper,” a touching exploration of the pain and challenges that family separation causes.
To remain present in his daughter’s life, the story reveals the complexities of parenting as the author wrestles with his past to face self-imposed challenges in order to transition, “from a man given to selfish leanings to an open-hearted and dutiful father.”
“Someone else was taking over my relationship as father,” said Mark. “To get her back, I had to change myself. Get in touch with my feelings and know it’s alright for a man to do that.”
As Ronnie Fernandez pointed out, the myth that masculinity means holding back emotions, is damaging. This is the heart of the therapy he gives to depressed men. Greg Welch praised the book as helpful and therapeutic. My Daughter’s Keeper – you can get it on Amazon.
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