Many, many, many Years Ago….
A COVID-19 Home Companion Story by Wally Otto
I am one month younger than Patty. We were, by the way, in the same school in Hummelstown from First to Twelfth grade.
Some might ask, what about kindergarten? Well, just like Lake Wobegon (think Prairie Home Companion) all the children from Hummelstown were above average and therefore didn’t need it.
So, I was turning forty and Patty had promised “no” surprise party. What she did do was to have buttons made that said wish Wally Otto a happy birthday and then distributed them widely. Much more tasteful than my Miss Hummelstown reenactment.
This isn’t a surprise to those of you who know both of us. The class and tastefulness of my wife doesn’t, however extend to my friends. On the eve of my birthday, a six foot wide by four feet high sign on a trailer arrived in my front yard. This sign was chained and locked to a tree and said “Ma Bell is Old and Wally is Too.”
The Scribbler, who wrote for the Lancaster Newspapers, was advised and wrote a story with a picture and WGAL made mention of the kind act performed by my neighbors.
OK great! I was surprised. All I had to do was get through the rest of the day.
I had been invited for lunch by my two good friends Art Morris, Lancaster’s Mayor and Dick Blouse, President of the Lancaster Chamber. I knew, because of our relationship, to keep up my guard.
I was picked up at my office and headed off to a surprise high quality restaurant - befitting the occasion.
We drove to route 30 East and pulled into Wendy’s. The large sign out front said “Wish Wally Otto a Happy Birthday”. There is some background to this and it of course involves a (too long to tell) practical joke.
The threesome went inside and I was told to order anything I wanted as long as it was less than four dollars.
As I was waiting to order the couple in front of us who, were by their accent from NYC, pointed to the outside sign and asked the cashier “Who is Wally Otto?”
Whereupon, the cashier asked her coworker; “Yeah who is Wally Otto anyway?”
To which the co-worker replied “With a name like that, probably just some local yokel.”
So I made it through lunch and knew that, because of an evening event, I was safe for the remainder of the day.
That event was the inauguration of Art Morris as the Mayor of our fair city. It was a black tie event that included dinner and dancing and wouldn’t be over until way past my normal 9:00pm bed time.
We were driven to the affair by long-time friends Linda and Norm. A great evening was had by all, with a minimal number of “Old” comments, so home we went. It was now 11:00 PM and I was certain that I had enough to drink, however Norman said he was still thirsty.
Norm and Linda came in for a quick drink. I told them of an early engagement the following morning.
I am still uncertain if they knew what was about to happen, but Patty swears she didn’t know.
As we sat together in the family room we all heard the sound of a Dixie Land Band coming up Beverly Drive. I jumped up and “pulled open the shutters” and saw a six piece Dixieland band accompanied by dozens of neighbors and other friends converging on our house.
Close examination revealed that nearly every male had, like Himalayan Sherpas, a case of beer or wine on their shoulders.
The ensemble, without knocking, entered the house. The Dixie Land Band
set-up in the Living Room and the guests occupied every other room in the house, including the upstairs. The upstairs guests must have included an interior designer or two. I know this because when we finally went to bed at 2:30am our bedroom had been creatively rearranged .
The basement became a venue for a ping pong tournament and the entire first floor became a dance hall/speak easy with the windows open to let the human- generated heat escape and the empty beer cans.
The following morning as I left for my early morning meeting i found beer cans in the trees, shrubbery and roof.
A good time was, I think, had by all.
As they say “You are only forty once”, thank heavens!
True Story
Wally
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