A person checks into a hotel for the first time in his life, and goes up to his room. Five minutes later he calls the desk and say, “You’ve given me a room with no exit. How do I leave?”
The desk clerk says, “Sir, that’s absurd. Have you looked for the door?”
The person says, “Well, there’s one door that leads to the bathroom. There’s a second door that goes into the closet. And there’s a door I haven’t tried, but it has a ‘do not disturb’ sign on it.”
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A politician sitting in his office in Parliament House in Canberra was bored.
So he started rummaging through drawers in an old filing cabinet.
At the back of one rarely opened drawer was a brass lamp.
He thought he would take it for his tax payer's home office.
He started polishing it when he got home and of course, as always happens, out popped a smoking Genie.
The Genie grants him three wishes.
The first wish is for an ice-cold beer. Instantly he downs it.
He then wishes to be on a luxury, tropical island, with every need met and with the most beautiful intelligent woman who can't keep her hands off him.
It all happens. The Genie asks " And your third wish Master?"
The Politician says " To never have to work again"
Zap ! and he finds himself back in Parliament House Canberra.
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We have recently bought a deceased estate from the son of the very elderly woman who owned it.
The first night we went over there when we were given the keys, my husband went out into the back yard while I remained inside .
Suddenly, there was the extremely loud sound of an old phone ringing. Knowing there was no phone there any more, I became really scared, grabbed my iPhone and ran out to hide in the car. The phone stopped ringing as I ran but I wasn’t going to hang around.
Shaking, I told my husband I would not be moving in and asked him to drive me home.
The next morning, at home in my own bed, the old phone sound boomed again.
I am embarrassed to say that the day before the ‘haunting’, I had mistakenly set my alarm for 8pm instead of 8am and the sound I had forgotten I had set it to was ‘old phone.’
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A boss was searching for an employee. Finally he found her sitting at the table eating her lunch. He immediately said: “Where the hell have you been? I’ve been trying to find you all morning!”
She shrugged and said: “Good employees are hard to find!”
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This moment happened last week with my Year 2 class. At the end of the day, we were playing a game of Celebrity Head. I gave one of the kids "Santa Claus". After a couple of rounds of questions he asked the question "Am I real?"
Now just like you did, there was a short pause from the class as the significance of the question sank in, before they turned to me and started saying "yes" but also waiting to hear my response. Before I could speak one of my boys said "Mr B you have to say yes, or you'll destroy all our hopes and dreams!"
After the laughter and "Yeses" had quietened down, I said "Now there are some people who might say that he is not real, but of course we all know that they are wrong. Of course he is real."
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Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing
"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder."
The woman took a spanner from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her purse, took a measurement, announced, "6.5 metres," and walked away.
One engineer shook his head and laughed, "A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
Both engineers have since quit their engineering jobs and have been elected to Parliament.
